I was also kept awake by stuff I had to do; empty my MoonCup, re- arrange my shoes…
In the small hours, I took my morning medicine, cleaned my teeth properly, and put on clothes. I decided to take a power nap to sleep away all the sleep debt, and got up to brew coffee before my HoivaOnni worker came for the weekly appointment.
I took the sheets off my bed and replaced my towels, and washed them in the laundry.
The worker arrived a bit late, but we had a good time just talking to each other, I didn’t bother with washing the dishes or ironing the laundry because I didn’t want to spread my flu bugs to my cutlery and linen.
Later the day when the appointment was over, we agreed for a new one next Friday at quarter to one o’clock in the afternoon.
I called my mother and told her I am coming over, they said it’s alright. Me and the worker took out my trash, and then I travelled to my parents’ home.
It was very warm and cloudy outside, the kind of weather that predicted that it would be a thunderstorm later.
Once at my parents’ home, my mom gave me 60 euros like every 20th day of the month. I drank coffee and orange juice, and ate feta cheese and a cinnamon roll.
Me and mom walked to Hometown and went to the shopping mall. Mom went for their own errands, and I went for mine.
I went to a clothing shop, and bought a black shirt with a shiny picture of a winged unicorn and the text Unicorn Believer on the front. Then I went to another clothing shop and bought this super sweet, cute, and adorable pink tricot blouse with slightly puffy sleeves.
Then I went to a jewellery shop, and I couldn’t believe my luck; there was a 50 percent discount for everything, so I bought two articles of jewellery for my friend Schlitzie. They will be a Halloween gift.
I went to the supermarket, and bought a melon, a pound of green grapes, a pound of tomatoes, a can of milk, two bars of chocolate, and some microwaveable meals.
Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places, washed two loads of laundry, re- arranged the pictures on my walls, scrounged for stuff to give away to charity, wrapped up the gifts, and put my pills into my Dosett. I had a good time doing a little bit of this and that.
I was feeling kind of giddy, so I took a few tranquillizers but they didn’t calm me. I took three more of them an hour later, and by then it was time to take my evening medicine. It’s about midnight by now and I don’t feel any calmer.
Sometimes my tranquillizers make me feel calm and collected, and sometimes they don’t help me at all, and sometimes they almost make me fall asleep on my feet.
I watched the rest of Mean Girls on Netflix and ate chocolate. I could have spent that time doing something else, like hung the laundry I had washed.
I started feeling anxious; I didn’t have any clean nighties, and sleeping naked made me feel uncomfortable. And I also had to bring the mattress, blanket, and pillow inside and hoover the bed and mattress and dress my bed into clean sheets, but it was getting late so I couldn’t use the vacuum cleaner because I didn’t want the noise to disturb my neighbors.
I also felt worried about the state of the world; terrorism and Nazis could happen in my home country as well. My problems seem to pale when you think about it.
I remembered the song Another day in Paradise by Phil Collins. I think about how people have told me that many people would be happy with as little as I have.
It’s just that my depression and anxiety prevent me from seeing how amazing my life is.
I put on an old nightie I got from a friend, it feels like they are hugging me. I went to sleep on a bed without sheets, it feels cool and soft like a cloud. I also managed to hang the laundry, otherwise it would have been in the washing machine all night.
Tomorrow I will continue doing housework, and perhaps visit a library or an art museum.