kattidya

Last night I probably had dreams that I have forgotten by now. Mostly these days I have had dreams of days when the earth is covered with snow that is as fluffy and white as the clouds in the sky, and perhaps about geocaching and still attending school after graduating, just to please my mother.
I got up in the morning before my smartphone alarm was supposed to ring. I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, dabbed lotion on my face, and got dressed; I wore one of the second- hand dresses I had bought from the thrift store last week.

I sat on my bed, but for some reason I didn’t feel like lying down and going to deep slumber. For some reason, every time I go back to bed after taking my morning medicine, I sleep all the way to the evening.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over to collect the monthly allowance, she said I can because she was just walking home from the ATM machine.

I went to the nearest ATM machine to withdraw the money I had received today and bought a cold- smoked salmon bagel and gave the bakery worker a tip. I also gave some change to an African charity.

I walked to my parents’ home; once there, mom gave me the monthly allowance. We had coffee together.

I walked to the newsagent and recharged my travel card. Then I caught a train to another town, where I bought a fancy mug of cocoa and gave the coffee house worker some tip.
Eleclya arrived later, we went to a restaurant where Mirette was having a scrumptious cheese salad; after she had had her fill, we ate the rest of it. I just made a mess on the table and played with the plastic potted plant on the table.

We went to a science center, there was an exhibition about dinosaurs. I learned that carnivores were smaller and more agile, and herbivores were larger and clumsier. I also got to use virtual reality goggles where I saw the world through the viewpoint of a hatching dinosaur baby; when my dino- mommy looked at me with adoration in her reptile eyes, I almost melted with happiness.

Then we went to another exhibition about the function and health of human brain. There was a room where you could dance, another room where you could lie down and watch electric canvas flowers bloom in the ceiling, and another room where you were supposed to pick a small piece of dark chocolate from a glass jar and let it melt in our mouths; I picked a handful and stuffed them into my mouth.

After the science center was closed, we took the same train to our respective homes. I got off at my stop and went to the supermarket where I bought a pair of fancy gloves, grey with lighter grey lace trimming and a small tuft of fur. I also bought some greeting cards.
I also bought some postage stamps, and then I went to the stationery shop to buy a big packet of refills for my ink pens.

I went to the library and did the usual charitable business, then I went to the grocery shop to buy the basic groceries.

I went back home, put all my new belongings to their rightful places, and put the trash into recycling.
Then I started working on the greeting cards that I am sending out tomorrow.

I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils, and then I brushed my teeth, shaved my chin hairs, and emptied my MoonCup.

I ran out of knitting yarn, but my mom will give me more on Sunday.

I must say, today I felt calmer and happier. I didn’t have the slightest bit of an existential crisis, or the wish to be someone else or the wish to be somewhere else.

I spent the rest of the evening watching the second season of The Good Place.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework; I need to tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, change the towels, and wash laundry. I also think I should take up the habit of doing the housecleaning twice a week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I will tidy up the bathroom and take out the recycling.
I also need to go to the pharmacy to pick up my painkillers and mood controllers, send the greeting cards I bought today, and then I will go to the library.
I will go to the amusement park to check out the Halloween vibes; I will dress up as a witch.

On Sunday, the first thing to do is to go to the library to do the charitable work.
I will visit my friend Rige, and then I will go visit my parents.
My father will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.

Last night I had an absolutely ghastly nightmare; Nazis won the World War three, and all people were enslaved.
Then I had nicer dreams that cleared my mind from worries.

I got up at two o’clock in the afternoon, because I didn’t feel like getting up earlier. I missed the knitting & novel reading group at the local library, but I didn’t feel like getting up.

I got up in the afternoon and took my morning medicine and biotin supplement.

The first thing I noticed was that I had a pimple the size of Jupiter on the left side of my chin; I squeezed it so hard it splotched against my bathroom mirror, and then I did the skincare regiment; face wash, face toner, face serum, face cream, and eye cream. I also put basic lotion on my skin and got dressed into a dress I bought from the thrift store last Friday.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can. I took a bus to my parents’ home.

Once there, my mother answered the door. We had coffee together.
I ate cherry tomatoes, dark grapes, slices of bun loaf, and a sandwich.

Later that day when I left, my father came home as well. He gave me a hug.

I took a bus back home, and now that I think about it, I really should take up the habit of walking there and back; I would become fit, and I would see many beautiful landscapes and smell plenty of fresh air.
Too bad that my bicycle has a flat tire; the back tire has become flat again, even if my dad fixed it. I would love to ride my bicycle like in that Queen song.

Anyway, once back at my hometown, I went to the youth group at the church.

There were plenty of treats; popcorn, chocolate, salted peanuts, watermelon, and crisps.

Later that evening, I left and went to the pharmacy. I bought more of my anti- psychotic medicine and basic lotion.
I learned that the prescription for my second painkiller still hasn’t been renewed, and I also forgot to pick up my mood controllers.

I went to the library and made all the Greater Good donations on one computer, laptop, and tablet, and also checked out the books I had requests.

Once back home, I felt a bit sad and unhappy.

I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils.

I decided to go outside; I took a bus to downtown, bought some crisps and chocolate bars, and then I traveled back home. Nothing and no one threatened me, but at some point I accidentally pooped my pants a little when I tried to fart.

Once back home, it was past midnight. I watched the second season of The Good Place with Finnish subtitles.

I feel like I don’t enjoy anything anymore. When I was younger, my life was much, much unhappier, but still amazing.
I think it is because I am 30 years old already; nothing is new to me, and I have nothing to look forward to except the next check.

I hope that tomorrow will be better.

Last night I stayed awake till half past two o’clock in the morning. I went through DeviantART and blocked all the bizarre fetish artists I could see; I didn’t leave any flames or trolling comments. I just hate seeing my favorite characters wearing diapers or being tickled.

I finally went to sleep and had some pretty nice dreams; the dreams were so nice that I slept all the way to three o’clock in the afternoon. I guess it was also because I stayed awake so late, and I didn’t bother getting up because there was no milk in my fridge so I couldn’t have my morning cocoa.

I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put lotion on my face, got dressed, and then I left.
I went to the shopping mall to buy a bar of chocolate, then I went to the library for the usual charitable business.

I took a train to downtown, on my way there I played the FreeRice game on my smartphone app and donated 1,000 grains of rice. I went to a library; there was a knitting & novel reading group. I managed to finish one quilt square and start on another. I had a few cups of coffee.

After the group, I took a train back home. I fetched the laundry from the drying room downstairs and brought it to my home.

I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils. I took a shower, washed my hair and face, put peeling cream on my face, washed my armpits, and put lotion on my skin. I put on a fresh nightie.

Tomorrow I will go to the knitting & novel reading group in the local library. After that, I will go to an art museum.
In the evening, I will go to the youth group at the local church.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance. I will go visit my parents as soon as possible so that my mother can give me the monthly allowance.
I will go to the nearest municipal service point to recharge my travel card, and then I will go to a science center with Mirette and Eleclya.
We will go to downtown, so I can buy myself a new coat, and then we will go to a tattoo & piercing parlor so I can have a piercing ring fitted to one of the holes in my right ear.
I will go shopping for groceries.

On Saturday, I will go to an amusement park as soon as it is opened and buy the kind of ticket that allows me to go on all rides.

On Sunday, I will visit a friend. Then I will go visit my parents; my father will give me the usual weekly allowance. I will call my granny.

I almost stayed awake the whole last night but managed to fall asleep.
I woke up early, took my morning medicine and biotin supplements and some cocoa, and went back to bed. I played Free Rice until I had donated 1,000 grains.
I got up and went to the bathroom to take a pee and noticed that I got my period. I had been expecting it.

I went back to bed and slept all the way to one o’clock in the afternoon, which is technically morning to me. I got up, got dressed, dabbed lotion on my face, called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said yes.

I went to the library and used three computers, one laptop, and one tablet to make the daily donations on Greater Good. I also read some books I had requested, without realizing that I could have checked them out.

I took a bus to my parents’ home. Mom answered the door, she gave me 20 euros. I had coffee with her. I did some simple stretches.

I took a train to downtown and went to Twinkle café. There were plenty of new people, and I got to talk about horror movies with this dude; he told me he is going to lend me his Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Exorcist DVDs next week.

I had to leave early because I had to make it to the movies. I visited a nice clothing shop called Housewife, they had an amazing coat in discount! If they still have it by Friday, I will buy it. I have been looking for a new coat, anyway.

I went to see the new Stephen King movie IT 2. I am not going to spoil it for those who haven’t seen it; it was about overcoming your own personal fears, growing up, and the importance of friendship and memories. And Pennywise is the best monster I have seen for a while.

After the movie, I took a train back home. I went to the supermarket to buy a birthday card and two boxes of my favorite grape juice.

I went back home, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils. I dabbed some lotion on my face and made cocoa.

I took a very impressive dump a while ago and it made a comical Plop! noise, like a toilet plunger.

Tomorrow the first thing to is to fetch my laundry from the drying room and sort it to the ironing and the rest. I will go to the library to do the usual charitable work and then check out my requests.
I will take the ironing to the Fountain House; my small apartment will become all steamy, humid and hot if I iron it there.
In the evening, I will go to a knitting & novel reading group in a library.
I will also do stretches and play Free Rice until I have donated 1,000 grains.

On Thursday, I will go to the knitting & novel reading group in the local library.
In the evening, I will go to the church for the youth group.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest, and the monthly allowance from my parents. I will go to the municipal service point to recharge my travel card.
I will go to a science center with Mirette and Eleclya, after that I will go to downtown to buy a new coat. I will also go to a tattoo & piercing shop to get a new piercing ring put into my right ear.

On Saturday, I will go to the amusement park and buy myself a ticket to go to all the rides I want, except the ones where you go upside down, I don’t like them.

On Sunday, I will go visit a friend, and then I will go to my parents’ home. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.

I spent the entirety of yesterday evening washing laundry, it took a long time because even when I use the program that only takes half of the time, it still takes about an hour and 45 minutes, boo yah. I still managed to wash plenty of laundry, and I was supposed to take it downstairs to the common drying room; but I was feeling so psychotic and anxious that I almost wobbled on my feet.
I took one Oxamin pill and called a helpline; we discussed the problem and agreed that I should try just turning off the lights and lying down on my bed. If the problem persists, I should visit the psychiatric clinic tomorrow, and if it worsens, go to the emergency room.
I took a depression shower, it made me feel slightly better.
I slept pretty well and had dreams that were nice enough, even if I don’t remember what they were about.

I got up about at ten o’clock in the morning, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, got dressed, and went to visit the grocery shop to buy some oat milk. I also mailed a hand- written letter and a name- day card to my friends.

Once back home, I took the laundry that had been sitting in the laundry basket to the drying room downstairs. I made some cocoa, then I took a shower and washed my hair and armpits. I put on deodorant and basic lotion. I got dressed into the same clothes I had been wearing, and also put on a necklace.

I did some stretches, and then I started washing the dirty dishes before my care worker came for the weekly appointment. I washed the rest of the dishes, and then Mirette came over to pick up some of the baking paper she had left.

Me and my worker agreed to have next week’s appointment on Monday at 1:30 pm. We left at the same time; I went to the library to pick up my requests and make the daily donations on one laptop and one tablet. All of the computers were taken.

I went to see my friend Pinky, we met at the shopping mall like we had agreed. First we went to a grocery shop to buy a bar of chocolate, and some lactose- free milk for coffee, and then we went over to her place.
We ate chocolate and chili nuts and drank cocoa and coffee. We both took a nap, me on her sofa and she on her bed. I fell into deep slumber, but when I woke up, I felt refreshed and cheerful.
Pinky gave me an inflatable tub for foot baths, and we talked a bit about stuff and then I left.

I went to the pharmacy and picked up a new batch of my anti- depressants, and I also ordered two packages of my anti- psychotic medicine.
On my way back home, I went to the supermarket and bought my favorite drink; a box of grape- flavored juice that donates 10 cents to the protection of seals.

I went back home and noticed that Mirette had taken the carton and plastic waste to recycling before she had left. Thank you so much!
I put all the stuffs to their rightful places and the trash to recycling, scrubbed the toilet bowl and wash basin, bagged the biological waste, clipped my nails, and wiped the worst stains off the kitchen floor.
In the evening, I took my medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils. I renewed a few medicine prescriptions online, sent a few text messages, and then I cleaned my teeth.

In the evening, after going to bed, I watched some 1980's - 1990's cartoon intros on YouTube, trying to recall my childhood memories. I also played FreeRice until I had donated 1000 grains of rice.

Today was such a nice day! Even the delusions were nice to me.

Tomorrow I need to call the health center to make an appointment for a mammogram.
I’m going to take a bag of useless stuff to a charity shop container, and then go to the library to return a book and use a laptop and a tablet and as many computers as I can to click all the free daily donation buttons on the Greater Good website.
If the weather is fine, I will walk to my parents’ home and go see my mother; she will give me the weekly allowance.
I will go to Twinkle café, and then I will go see the movie “It: Chapter Two”. After the movie, I will buy a birthday card and a “Welcome to your new home!” card to my friends, and proper postage stamps for them.
I will also do the daily stretches, play FreeRice until I have donated 1000 grains, and wash the dishes. I will do that every day of the week.

On Wednesday, I need to fetch the laundry from downstairs; the cleaners will come to tidy up the drying room on Thursday morning. Out of respect, I want the room to be empty so they can do their work in peace.
I will go to the library for the usual charitable business, then to the pharmacy to pick up more of my prescribed medicine, and then to the Fountain House so I can be motivated to iron the huge pile of laundry.
In the evening, I will go to another library to a knitting & novel reading group.

On Thursday, I will go to a knitting & novel reading group in the local library and do the usual charitable business there. In the evening, I will go to the youth group at the church.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. The first thing to do is to go to the library for the usual charitable business, and also to pay my library fees.
Then I will go visit my parents so that my mother can give me the monthly allowance. I will recharge my travel card and pay the local dressmaker for the mending of my clothes.
Me, Eleclya, and Mirette will go to a science center together. After that, they will accompany me to a tattoo & piercing parlor and get a new piercing ring fitted into my right ear.
Then I will go shopping; I need to buy a bigger Dosett and proper bag for it; three brassieres and fourteen underpants; a Zero Waste shaving blade; all of the next month’s birthday cards, name- day cards, and proper postage stamps for them; and the basic groceries.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; I need to change the towels, scrub the toilet bowl, and take out the recycling. After that, I will go to the library for the usual business.
In the afternoon, I will go to the amusement park and buy myself a ticket that allows me to go on all rides.

On Sunday, I will go visit the library for the usual reasons before I visit my parents. My father will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.

Monday, September 16th:
The first thing to do in the morning is to take a shower and wash my hair.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at 1:30 pm. I will wash the dishes, including the scissors, spork, toothbrush mug, and other stuff.
I will go see my friend Pinky at the shopping mall. After that, I will go for a few errands; I need to go to the social security institution and request a form to prove that I am a pensioner. I will also go visit the pharmacy to pick up a new batch of my prescribed medicine. Then I will go to the library to pick up my requests, and make the daily donations on Greater Good.
I also need to mail a name- day card to a friend, and also buy a "Welcome to your new home" card to a friend who recently moved into another apartment.
Once back home, I will finally iron the laundry that has been sitting around for a while. I will also take out the recycling and tidy up the bathroom.

Tuesday, September 17th:
I will visit the library, and make the daily donations on Greater Good.
I will go visit my mother, she will give me the weekly allowance.
I will go to the eco- shop downtown and buy some shaving blades.
I will go to Twinkle cafe, and then go to movies to see the new "Stephen King's It" movie.

Wednesday, September 18th:
I will go visit the library and make the daily donations on Greater Good.
I will go visit a couple of museums.
I will go to a knitting & novel reading group at a library downtown.
I will fetch the laundry from the drying room downstairs.

Thursday, September 19th:
I will go to the knitting & novel reading group at a library in my hometown; after that, I will do the usual daily donations.
In the evening, I will go to the youth group at the local church.

Friday, September 20th:
I will receive the weekly allowance today. I will donate at least 20 euros to a charity, perhaps Meals for Heels.
I will go to the local library to do the daily donations.
I will go visit my parents, my mother will give me the usual monthly allowance. The first thing to do is to recharge my travel card.
I will go visit a science center with Eleclya and Mirette, I will buy a membership card for myself so I can visit that place for a year.
After the visit, I will buy the basic groceries, and then new underwear; two pairs of brassieres, and ten pairs of underpants. I also need a bigger Dosett for all of my medicine and supplements. I also need a proper bag for the Dosett.
I will also take up the habit of buying next month's birthday and name- day cards on my "monthly allowance" day.

Saturday, September 21st:
I will go to the amusement park as soon as it is opened, and buy myself the kind of ticket that allows me to go to all rides, and I will also buy all kinds of treats from the cafes and such.

Saturday, September 22nd:
I will go visit the library before visiting my parents. I will make the usual donations to Greater Good.
Once at my parents' home, my father will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.

My apartment smells like fart, even if I haven’t been that gassy. I guess I should take out the recycling.

Anyway, this morning I got up in time, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, and drank some cocoa. I put on deodorant, dabbed lotion on my face, and got dressed.

I re- checked the bus timetables and noticed that there was no way I could make it to the buses that were going to take me to another part of the town where I was supposed to take part in the sponsored charity walk.

Well, at least now I could go see my parents straight away. I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can.

I went to the library; it’s opened on Sundays but there are no librarians, you’re supposed to use the check- outs and other machines all by yourself. I used two computers, one laptop, and one tablet to make the daily donations on the Greater Good website.

I took a bus to my parents’ home because I’m too lazy to walk. My mother answered the door.
My father was home too, he had the flu. He gave me the weekly allowance.

I ate a tomato, a slice of a bun loaf, and two of my mother’s home- made bread rolls. I also drank coffee and orange juice.
I felt anxious, psychotic, and disturbed, but still managed to act all cool and collected. I used my mother’s laptop to make the daily donations on Greater Good.

Later that day I kissed and hugged my mother, and blew my father a kiss, and then I left.

I walked to the station and took a bus to downtown. I took a tram to another part of the town and walked down the street to a thrift store, trying to find a new scarf.
Then I remembered that I still have my pink PLO scarf at home, so I left when the shop was closed. I went to the nearest Starbucks and bought a cold- smoked salmon bagel and a pumpkin spice latte.

I took a subway and then a bus back to my hometown. Once there, I went to the supermarket and bought dish- washing liquid, a name- day card for a friend, and two postage stamps.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places, put all the trash to recycling, put the worked on the post cards, washed a load of laundry, and took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

As of writing this, I am washing the third load of laundry. I should take the laundry downstairs to the drying room, but I feel too psychotic to do anything.

I have been feeling manic and speedy all day. I guess my period is due.

I stayed awake the whole last night, watching Carrie the musical on YouTube. Then I listened to the entire soundtrack on Spotify, and then I watched the Riverdale episode with the musical rehearsals on Netflix.

In the small hours, I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement. I decided to go to the gym; I put on my gym clothes, packed my backpack and left.

It was dark and misty outside. I went to the gym, did a few stretches, lifted weights in order to improve my posture, and walked on the treadmill for twenty minutes. And still felt like I hadn't accomplished much.

I took a shower, washed my hair with beautifying shampoo and my armpits with olive oil soap that made me smell like cinnamon. I put deodorant into my armpits and put basic lotion on my skin.

I left and went back home. The sun was getting up.
Once back at home, I took a nap to sleep all the sleep debt off. When I was supposed to get up, I felt like going back to bed.

I got up when I had received my weekly and monthly allowance from my guardian of interest. I tried to pay my Microsoft Word subscription for a month, but they only allowed a year- long subscription and that cost too much, so I didn't pay it after all.

I left, went to an ATM machine to withdraw the cash, and then I took a bus to downtown.
I visited two of my favorite thrift shops that had a discount sale; all clothes 5 euros at maximum! I bought a few dresses and two nightshirts.

I took a tram to downtown and then a train back to my home town. Once there, I cut all the price tags off the clothes and put them to recycling, and put the clothes into my laundry basket.

I left again, and went to a coffee and bakery shop. I bought a caramel popcorn donut, and then I went to a thrift store in order to buy a new skirt, but it was already sold.

I went to the supermarket and bought a biodegradable toothbrush, a bottle of shampoo, and a grape juice box that raises funds to protecting seals. Then I caught a train back to downtown, and went to my favorite eco- market to buy tooth- whitening charcoal powder.
Then I went to a clothing and jewelry shop and bought a new piercing ring, because one of the rings in my right ear had loosened and gone missing.

I went to me and my friends' usual meeting place, and then Mirette texted me and told me to go to the shopping mall nearby, we would meet there.

I took a subway to said meeting place and went to a juice bar. While waiting for the others, I bought a carrot- orange juice.

Later Mirette, Eleclya, and Perry arrived. Mirette bought a smoothie, but she didn't like it so she gave it to me.

Perry drove us to the zoo, but it was so badly crowded and I was feeling almost psychotic after staying awake the whole night, so I left and took a bus back to downtown.

Once there, I took a train back to my home town and went to the shopping mall. I bought two pairs of black leggings and the basic groceries, then I went back home.

I put my new belongings to their rightful places, and then I brushed my teeth with the charcoal powder. It didn't make my teeth as white as I would have guessed, but it was alright.

I have been meaning to update plenty of times, but I have always fallen asleep first.

On Monday, I went to the masseur to have my neck and shoulders massaged.

On Tuesday, I went to Twinkle café.

On Wednesday, I went shopping for new autumn shoes with my mother. I also went to the first knitting & novel reading group of this autumn.

Anyway. Today I got up, took my morning meds and biotins, dabbed lotion on my face, and got dressed. I also washed a load of laundry.

I went to the library; it was raining hard. I did the daily donations on one laptop, one tablet, and two computers. I also asked about the knitting group, they told me it will be held next week.

I went to downtown and visited the national museum and the museum on natural science, it was very educational. I wanted to visit two historical museums and one art museum, but I was getting tired.

I went to see Eleclya. Our friend Odessa arrived later.

I traveled back to my hometown and went to the church group. I had a good time there, and then I was supposed to go see the theater play. I went to the culture center, but the doors were closed, and no one came to open even if I rang the door buzzer.

I went to the shopping mall and bought some oat milk. Once back home, I made cocoa, took my evening medicine, and sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils.

Tomorrow will be a busy day; I will pay for my Microsoft Word subscription to be extended for one month, and also donate to a charity walk that I am attending on Sunday.
I will go to the library to do the charitable work. After going grocery shopping, I will go to thrift store shopping. I also need to buy charcoal powder for whitening my teeth from the local eco- shop.
Me and Mirette will meet at our usual meeting place, and then we will go to the zoo.

On Saturday, I will go to a funfair as soon as it is opened. I will buy a ticket that allows me to go to all rides.
Along with that, I need to replace the towels, take out the recycling, and scrub the bathroom.

On Sunday, I will take part in a sponsored charity walk, then go visit one of my friends, and then go visit my parents. My father will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.

And remember, mama Pammy loves you very much! 

Last night I had a dream where I went to a town in my home country with the girls from the Netflix show Derry Girls. I lost my clothes and had to walk around in nothing but panties in a rain of sleet, I was also wearing a plastic Queen Elsa crown they sell in toy shops but one of the Derry Girls snatched it and put it on her own head. I tried to run as fast as I could and find a station, omnibus station or train station, so I could find my way back home.

In another dream, it was like an 19th century Spanish drama with the Nuclear family from the Netflix show DC’s Titans. For some reason they were after me, and there were plenty of omelets sizzling.

In another dream, I was celebrating Halloween while rowing a boat on a frosty lake.

In yet another dream, I was in a small part of my hometown which had partly gone under water, but I didn’t mind because in the dream I turned into a mermaid and could breathe under water. I had a good time riding the waves even if the water was brownish- grey.
In the same dream, I ended up in a forest next to the same town. I could take three routes back home; the scary one, the pornographic one, or the one where you had to take part in a sponsored charity walk for LGBTQIA people. I chose all three at the same time.

I got up about at noon and noticed that my shoulders were in knots. I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, drank coffee because I had run out of cocoa, and got dressed. I put two kinds of prescribed lotion on my face and noticed that I had also plenty of pimples on my freshly shaved chin.
Sheesh! My face is never dewy or glowing, it either has pimples, scabs, flakes, or eczema.

I changed the towels, washed a load of laundry, and bagged the trash. I decided that after I have hung the laundry, I will go visit the library and then go to a couple of museums.

I hung my underwear on the drying rack, and then I took the rest of the laundry downstairs to the drying room, and then I took the household waste and biological waste to recycling.

I visited the library and used two computers, one laptop, and one tablet to make the daily donations on the Greater Good website.

I took a train to downtown, then a subway to one of the art museums. But then I kind of lost my interest because I was already in a bad mood after quarreling with my delusions to the point of screaming my lungs out in the afternoon, it was raining and I didn’t have my raincoat, and I couldn’t find the museum because I had exited the subway station on the wrong side.

Anyway, I took a subway and then a bus to my home.

Once there, it was getting a bit late, but I still went to the shopping mall to buy a bag of cocoa powder and mail a few birthday cards.

Once back home, I scrubbed the toilet bowl.
I made an appointment for neck- and- shoulder- massage on next week’s Monday, because my neck and shoulders still hurt.
I finished knitting another blanket square.

About at eight o’clock in the evening, I took my medicine and sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils.

I watched a Finnish children’s movie on DVD, then I watched Derry Girls on Netflix, and then I started watching Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald.
I remember going to see the movie in theaters, I had a terrible need to pee and I didn’t remember who was who and what happened.

Tomorrow I will wash my hair, I will go visit the library and return the DVD I watched today, and make sure I know where the culture center is so I can go watch a theater play next week.
I will visit the museums I didn’t visit today, before I go see my parents.
My father will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny and give my mother the knitted blanket squares and the rest of the spool.
I will use the allowance tomorrow when I go to the masseuse on Monday.

Yesterday I washed my hair and did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment, something I haven't done for a while now because I wanted to see how long I could hold out not washing my hair. I forgot to use the face scrub, and I couldn’t use face mask because I had run out of it.
I went to the youth group at the church and had a good time there. I ate salmiakki drops, popcorn, crisps, plums, and drank coffee and lemon iced tea. I had a nice talk with one youth worker about God and religion.

Last night I had dreams but forgot about them as soon as I woke up.
I got up before my smartphone alarm woke me up. I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put serum and cream on my face, got dressed, put on a necklace and earrings, and left.

I went to the ATM machine to withdraw cash, but the one near the grocery shop could dispense only 50- euro bills. I went to another that could dispense only 20- euro bills, withdrew cash, and then I went to the grocery shop to buy food. I went back home, had a little snack and cocoa, and then I left again.

I went to the psychiatric clinic where I had an appointment with my own nurse. We talked about this and that, now that I no longer feel too depressed or anxious I no longer have anything special to talk with her. We decided to keep the meeting short, and to have the next appointment at the end of October.

After the appointment I went back home, did the daily donations on Greater Good, and then I left.

First I went to the library and used two computers, one laptop and one tablet to make the daily donations on Greater Good, then I went to the convenience store and bought a cup of coffee. Which reminds me, I need to buy a reusable coffee cup.
I took a train to downtown and bought a Big Issue magazine.

I took a subway to east, and called the zoo in downtown and asked them if it’s possible for me to get pensioner discount from purchasing the membership card, considering that I am practically a pensioner. I was told that I need to get a printed and stamped paper form from the social security institution. I am going to go there on Monday and get the form, and take it along to the zoo when I go there next Friday.

Me and Mirette met at her favorite restaurant. We took a subway to her former hometown and caught a bus to Rige’s hometown.
There was a block party today, Mirette’s favorite singer was going to be there.

I ate a crepe, a plum, and a cinnamon roll. I shooed a bee away, talked with the others, danced with Mirette, and soon Perry and Eleclya showed up.
I asked a Red Cross worker about first aid classes; I want to attend them, but they cost a lot. I was told that I might get discount since I am a pensioner. I want to learn all first aid classes there are, in my quest of becoming a better person.

We all had a good time. I decided to leave a bit early because I felt a bit chilly.

I bought a small packet of crisps and caught two trains back home. Once in my hometown, I took a discarded trolley back to the supermarket, and then I went to the eco- shop to buy four packages of ecological tissue boxes.

I went to the supermarket and bought three birthday cards and two postage stamps.

I went back home, worked on the birthday cards, took my evening medicine, sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils, shaved my chin fluffs and armpit hair, and plugged my smartphone to the charger.

As of writing this, I have a weird feeling in my underbelly. Like there is an air bubble between my labia, and I can't queef it out.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework; change the towels, wash laundry, tidy up the bathroom, and take out the recycling. Then I will go to the library and two museums.

On Sunday I will go visit the library, and if it doesn’t rain, I will walk to my parents’ home and back. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.

Last night I went to bed already feeling restful, and had no trouble falling asleep despite that I had had an anxiety attack.

I woke up when my mother texted me about going to the shopping mall to buy new autumn shoes for me. I told her we will do it next week.

I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, brushed my teeth, put lotion on my face and noticed that I have an awful lot of whiteheads on my chin.

I got dressed, and later the day I left and took a train east. I went to the dentist, where I had an appointment for having my tooth fixed; a molar on the upper right side of my jaw had a filling that had chipped.
The dentists were very nice to me, even if the fixing hurt a bit it was alright and I managed to joke a little.

After the appointment, me and the dentist discussed my dental hygiene. I told them that being a spoonie, I might not always be able to brush my teeth even if I understand the importance of regular dental care. She also told me that the next appointment for a check- up will be in 2022, which according to my knowledge is the year where the movie Soylent Green is resided.

I called Eleclya on my way home, I asked her if I can come over for a surprise visit and she said it’s okay.

I took a train to her home, once there we had cocoa together and Eleclya took photos of me.

I took a train back home, once there I had cocoa and a few crispbread sandwiches for supper, and then I took my evening medicine and brushed my teeth. I had to take a very impressive dump after my stomach started rumbling, and I was about to throw up as well. I guess it’s the lactose.

Tomorrow I have to take a shower and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment. I will also go to the library and then to the youth group at the local church.

On Friday, I will go visit the library, and then I will have an appointment with my own nurse at the psychiatric center. After that, I will go buy the weekly groceries.
I will go to one of my favorite thrift stores downtown, and buy all my favorite clothes.
Me and Mirette will meet downtown and go to a block party in another town.

On Saturday, I will go to the library, and do the weekly housework.
I might also go visit a museum.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents. I will walk there and back.
I will receive the weekly allowance from my father and call my granny.

Monday, September 2nd:
I will pay my membership fee for the physiotherapist company.
I will go to the anniversary party of Fountain House.
I might also go to the aquarium downtown.
I will go to the library for the charitable purposes.
I need to fetch the laundry from the drying room.

Tuesday, September 3rd:
I will go to Twinkle cafe.
After that, I will go see my mother, so she can give me the weekly allowance. I will buy all of September's birthday and name- day cards and proper stamps for them.
I will go to the library for the usual reasons.

Wednesday, September 4th:
I will have an appointment at the hospital where my mother birthed me, so I can have a mammogram.
I will go to the library.
In the evening, I will have an appointment with a dentist. Before that, I will brush my teeth properly. I will have the molar on the right side of my upper jaw fixed, the filling has been chipped. I will also ask about cleaning my teeth, and if my tongue is alright because it's yellowish- white.

Thursday, September 5th:
I will go to the youth group at the local church, and I will also visit the library.

Friday, September 6th:
I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will order a few tubes of Nuud deodorant from their official website.
I will have an appointment with my own nurse at the psychiatric center.
In the afternoon, I will go to the physiotherapist company to have a facial massage.
I will buy the weekly amount of groceries.

Saturday, September 7th:
I will do the weekly housework, and visit the library.

Sunday, September 8th:
I will go to the library.
I will go visit my parents, my father will give me the weekly allowance.
I will call my granny. 

Last night I stayed awake all the way to two o’clock in the morning because I suffered from insomnia, or as I like to call it, questioning sleep.

I managed to fall asleep and had dreams about nice things. I got up at four o’clock in the afternoon.

I took my morning medicine and biotin supplements and got dressed.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can.

I took a bus to my parents’ home. My mother answered the door, dad was also home.

Dad gave me the weekly allowance. I ate bun slices, feta cheese, yellow plums, and cherry tomatoes, and drank coffee and orange juice.

Later that day, I took a bus back home. I went to the supermarket and bought laundry detergent and a bar of soap, and then I went to the grocery shop to buy oat milk.
I picked up trash and took some discarded trolleys back to the supermarket.

Then I went back home. I washed a load of laundry and put my shopping to their rightful places.

I took out the recyclable waste, and then I took a shower and washed my hair and used the new bar of soap.

I called my granny, we talked about what we have been doing and how the weather has been. We agreed that I am going to visit her in October.

I can’t help wondering, what is wrong with me since I keep on questioning sleep almost every night? I have taken my evening medicine at full dose, and still stay awake all night. Do I exercise too little? Do I have too many distractions in my home? Does cocoa have caffeine in it? Why don’t I just start feeling tired after I have stayed awake for almost two full nights? Is it possible to get a psychosis or die if you stay awake for a full week? Can sharks live in lakes?

Anyway, in the small hours I got up and took my morning medicine and biotin supplement. I changed the towels and washed three loads of laundry; this time I washed them at the full setting, not the quick 30 minutes & 30 degrees setting. I also sorted out the trash.
I also washed my blanket because it was stinky, the other laundry was my everyday clothes, underwear, and last week’s towels.

I got dressed and put lotion on my face. It looks as if most of the red flaky blotches have gone off.
I also put my hair on a braid; it’s greasy but I don’t feel like washing it yet. I also shortened the uneven strands on my fringe; no matter how neatly it’s cut at the hairdresser, it’s always uneven.
I also put on a necklace, earrings, and bracelets, but later I took the bracelets off because they bother me when I work with my hands. I decided to donate all my bracelets to a charity shop.

After the last load of laundry was done, I took a catnap to sleep off the sleep debt and until my head stopped pounding.
I headed out; I went to the library to do my daily charitable work, then I went to a health shop and bought four packages of ecological pocket tissues.

I took a bus to downtown and went to two ecological shops. Then I went to the modern art museum to look at the new exhibition; there were two works of art that I remember seeing at the same museum during my teenage years. Weirdly enough, they didn’t provoke as much emotions as I would have thought; back then I used to think I would die out of pure sorrow, knowing that once the exhibition is over, I would never see them again.
I took a train back home.
Once there, I took the laundry downstairs to the drying room. I had also washed my blanket, because it was starting to get a bit smelly.

I took my mattress, pillow, and spare blanket to the balcony to freshen them.

Later in the evening, I took a train and then a subway to downtown because I was going to a Venetian party. I met Mirette at the subway station.
I sat on the granite blocks by the sea, writing into my diary, listening to the little kids screaming and the drunkards brawling, and shooed away the bugs that were attracted by the light emitting from my smartphone.
About at 9:45 pm the fireworks started. Some kid said, “The Chinese people were very wise for inventing gunpowder!” and another said, “It’s like Death Star exploding!”

After the firework show, Mirette and Perry showed up. He drove me to the bus station, I wanted to take a bus back home but there were lots of passengers waiting to get aboard and the buses that arrived were already brimming, so I waited for the third bus, petted a cute dog, and chitchatted with the other women at the bus stop.

When the bus finally arrived, I got a seat. I traveled back to my hometown and listening to music on my Spotify app.
Once at the bus station, I noticed that there were plenty of loving couples cuddling in public.

Once at my home, I made a dash to the bathroom because I had to pee. I took my evening medicine, changed into a fresh nightie, and went to bed, still feeling like I don’t feel like sleeping.

Tomorrow I will go to the library, then I will go visit my parents. I will walk there and back.
I will call my granny; we have already agreed that I am going to come for a visit on the first Friday of October.
My father will give me the weekly allowance, I will buy laundry detergent and a bar of soap.
As for housework, I need to wash more laundry and also take out the recycling.

I ordered this sunflower necklace from Wish.com last night.



Next year I might purchase these three necklaces that are pure silver, and they also have a charitable purpose:


Sorry, I couldn't find a bigger photo. This has a picture of a bird with a smaller bird, it raises funds to children sick with cancer; considering that I was a leukemia patient between the ages of a year-and-ten-months and four years, I want to support the cause.


This pendant has an engraving of a young girl spitting, it raises funds to causes that support girls.


This has an engraving of a seal with a baby seal; so buying this supports the aforementioned endangered animal.

On Tuesday I was supposed to go to the mammogram, but once I made it to the hospital (which, by the way, is the one where I was born), I learned that I had misunderstood the date, I was supposed to have the mammogram on August 20th, but I had gone there on August 27th. Oh well, I made a new appointment today.

On Wednesday I went back to bed after taking my morning medicine, and the next time I got up it was fifteen past six o'clock in the evening. Oh well, I had such nice dreams that I didn't really mind.

On Thursday, I mostly spent the day feeling bored and anxious. I went to a party in my hometown.

Last night I had a dream where the shopping mall nearby had a shop that sold furniture for bachelors and bachelorettes; they had inflatable swan- shaped boats and huge comfy armchairs with plenty of tiny shelves where you could store stuff.
I also had a dream where I rode a bus around the city center, there was plenty of rainwater on the streets.

Then I had a very perverted dream including tentacles and cucumbers, I woke up feeling a bit uneasy.

I looked at my smartphone and logged in to my online bank account; I had received the usual weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I paid my monthly gym membership fee, and renewed my Spotify Premium subscription.

I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, got dressed and dabbed basic lotion on my flaky face.

I went to the nearest ATM machine, and withdrew cash. I went to the stationery shop and bought a box of green ink refills for my pens, and three greeting cards. Then I went to the supermarket and bought laundry detergent and face cream.

I went to the cheapest grocery shop and bought some groceries. I went back home, wrote the greeting cards, had some snack and cocoa, made a new appointment for the mammogram, and then I left.

I took a train to downtown and then a subway east, and met Mirette. We took a bus to another town, we were going to Mara's birthday party.
In the end, I never made it there. We walked a full circle around the neighborhood and started to freak out, so I took a bus to downtown and then a longer train ride back home.

Once back home, I watched some Keeping up Appearances episodes and drank cocoa.

Later in the evening, I went out and mailed two greeting cards. I went to the library to read X- Men comics and then I used two computers, one laptop, and one tablet to click all the buttons on the Greater Good website. Then I went to the shopping mall, picked up trash, and then I went back home.

Here's the thing; I'm not entirely sure if the Greater Good website is real or a fraud, but if I can make a difference, I will.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and brushed my teeth. I used my new ecological mouthwash, fortunately it didn't leave an aftertaste in my mouth like Listerine does.
I put Miniderm lotion on my skin and Hydrocortison on my wrists. I put on a clean nightie, and went to bed.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework; replace the towels, wash a load of laundry, iron the laundry, wash the dishes, tidy up the bathroom, and take out the recycling. (I produce very little household waste these days because I recycle everything.) I also need to wash my blanket because it's smelly, I will wash it as soon as I get up from my bed.
I will go to the 50th anniversary party of the town where I grew up, and in the evening I will go to a Venetian party downtown.
Between those parties, I will go to the library to use as many computers as I can to make the daily donations.

On Sunday, I will go see my parents. I will walk to their home and back. My father will give me the weekly allowance; I will call my granny; and I need to deposit at least two euros into my bank account at an ATM machine in the neighborhood, so I can pay for the membership of the physiotherapy company on Monday, because that's when the membership expires.

Yesterday I went to see my mother; I had to get up early, because my mother insisted that we meet at noon.
I went over to my parents’ house, where she recharged my Museum Card; now I can visit all the museums in my home country for 365 days.
I went back home, knowing that I had stuff on my to- do list; go to the library, take out the recyclable waste, fetch the laundry from downstairs drying room, but instead I took a nap because I started to feel sleepy. It felt like my head was full of fluffy clouds.

I woke up when Mirette came over, she spent some time manipulating the photos on her computer and then we left. We went to see the movie The Lion King. I really liked the animatics even if their expressions weren’t too fancy; my favorites were Timon and Pumbaa, my childhood heroes.

This morning I was having peculiar dreams; I was visiting Berry, she had a cage full of guinea pigs, and they all scattered and ran when I tried to pick them up. I have had three piggies when I was a tween, I know that since they are prey animals they always run when they see something above them.
In the dream, I almost burst into tears and asked them “Piggies, why do you hate me? Am I a bad person?”
And that’s when my smartphone alarm rang, it was eleven o’clock in the morning and I wasn’t ready for the daily challenges. I snoozed for ten minutes, then I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, washed my face and used toner, serum, cream, and eye cream, and got dressed.

I took a bus to the hospital where my mother birthed me, I was supposed to have a mammogram. It was a hot sunny day.
Once at the hospital, it took me a while to find the department because the whole hospital was like a Salvador Dali painting. Once there, the receptionist told me that I was late because the appointment was supposed to be last week’s Wednesday! I mean, how is that even possible? I was told it would be August 27th!

I didn’t mind, I went to the bus stop and took a bus to another town. Then I took a subway to the town center and then a tram to Twinkle café.

Mella and Raija were there, so were three males that I didn’t recognize. We talked about hearing voices in the form of delusions, and I suddenly realized that I haven’t had as many delusions these days as I usually have.

I ate two cookies, five sandwiches, a bunch of dark grapes, and drank some cocoa. I took a nap and left about at the closing time. I hugged both Mella and Raija and walked to the train station.

I took a train back to my hometown, thought of visiting the mall or the library, and then I went back home.

I fetched the laundry from the drying room downstairs, folded them and put them to their rightful places. I took out the recyclable waste and washed two loads of laundry.

I brushed my teeth, put lotion on my skin, put on a clean nightie, and remembered that I forgot to take my evening meds. I took them, drank some cocoa, and went to bed.

My lungs feel weird, I feel like I have to breathe deeply. My facial muscles also feel weird and stiff. I will have a face massage next month.

Last night I had plenty of nice dreams, so nice that I didn’t feel like getting up until half past two o’clock in the morning. I got up, took my biotin supplement and morning medicine.
I washed my face and got dressed.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over; the phone rang for a while, and then my mom said something like “This darned thing doesn’t work”, and then it was disconnected. Then my mother called me and said that her phone was acting up. I asked her if I can come over, she said I can.

I left and went to the library. I used two computers, a tablet and a laptop to make the daily donations to Greater Good.

I took some discarded trolleys to the supermarket, and then I walked to my parents’ home. The landscapes were beautiful, and I was in a happy mood.

Once at my parents’ home, my mom answered the door. My dad was also home. He gave me the weekly allowance.

I ate cinnamon rolls, cherry tomatoes, and mother’s homemade bread rolls.
I drank orange juice and coffee.

Later that day I walked around the neighborhood, it made me feel good. Then I took a bus back home.

I called Eleclya and asked her if I can come over, I was going to bring her a box of cocoa powder.

Once back home, I picked up the cocoa powder and took a train to Eleclya’s hometown.

Once there, her roomie answered the door. She’s an elderly lady who has a wicked sense of humor; she has told Eleclya that I am a sweet person, and she also noticed me picking some trash and putting it to the bin when I walked past their house.

Eleclya had made pizza with tuna and pineapple. I ate two slices after picking the pineapples off them.

Later that day I left and took a train back to my hometown. At the train station, I remembered that me and my mother had forgotten to recharge my Museum Card. I called and told her about it, she said that I should come over tomorrow at noon so she can recharge it.
I went to the pharmacy to pick up my allergy pills and my prescribed medicine.

I went back home and took my evening medicine. I made some cocoa, farted a bit, watched Keeping up Appearances, put on a clean nightie, and went to bed.

Last night I slept pretty badly, and by badly, I mean none at all. I was completely exhausted but couldn’t sleep at all for some reason.

In the small hours, I took my biotin supplement and morning medicine, and then went back to bed.

I was supposed to go to a block party with Mirette today, but I couldn’t because I felt like I was ready to pass out as soon as I got on my feet.
I slept away the sleep debt and got up every half an hour to see if I could walk.
I got up about at four o’clock in the afternoon, I got up, got dressed, and noticed that I already looked pretty so I didn’t feel like putting on lotion or anything.
I went out for errands and took out the household waste at the same time.

I went to the library, and used a laptop, tablet, and two computers to make the free donations to Greater Good.
I took some discarded trolleys to the supermarket, mailed a name- day card to a friend’s cousin’s child, and then I went back home.

I scrubbed the toilet bowl, swept the floor, washed the dishes, and washed two loads of laundry. I wiped the worst stains off the floor and hung the laundry on the drying rack.

My armpits have started smelling of the same kind of sweat I had when I was a teenager. I ran out of deodorant a while ago and started using another brand.

I changed my clothes because you could see my brassiere and the crack between my boobs. I put on a non- see- through shirt and a brown Dirndl dress that covers my bosom.

Last night I had a dream where I went to downtown about at four o’clock in the morning in a light flowery summer dress, tore out right- wing posters, and no one bothered me. There was just me and the silent dusky metropolis, I would love to do that for real if I didn’t have to be afraid for rapists and muggers.

In another dream it was a calm sunny day, I took a bus to goddess- knows- where and ended up in some sort of office; they had Moomin t- shirts, Fazer candy, and strawberry- patterned wellingtons (typical Finnish stuff) for sale. I thought if I was allowed to steal something because no one would notice, and I am poor so I could be allowed a five- finger discount.
Then I lost my right shoe; a red and white striped plastic sandal.

In another dream, I attended some sort of vocational school and I loved those vending machines where you could get stuff like candy or jewelry; I kept on poking around them for coins and free candy and jewelry.

I had to get up two times to go take a pee. It’s very inconvenient, trying to enjoy your sleep when your bladder reminds you of your daily duties.

I got up at noon, took my biotin supplement and morning medicine with cocoa, and surfed around on the Internet. I made the daily donations on Greater Good on my laptop and smartphone.

Later I took a shower, washed my hair, and used the shortened version of the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment; face wash, face toner, face serum, face cream, and eye cream.
I put basic lotion on my skin and got dressed. I put on a red- blue- white flowered dress, but I changed it into another red- blue- white flowered dress.

I left a bit early and went to the ATM machine to withdraw all the cash. I went to the supermarket and bought two iced coffees to settle my nerves, one mint chocolate and one candy popcorn flavored.
I wandered around with blurry eyes and even blurrier mind, popped to the library, and then I went to the hairdresser.
I had a ten- minute Olaplex treatment, and the dry tips of my hair cut off evenly in layers. I also had my fringe cut so that it fits the shape of my face.
I was in a very good mood after that, my hair was fluffy and smelled like perfume.

I went to the shopping mall, visited the supermarket to buy groceries, and then I went to the stationery shop to buy a name- day card for my friend’s cousin’s child. Then I went to the library and used two computers, one tablet and a laptop to make the daily donations to the Greater Good.

I went back home, put the groceries to the fridge, worked on the greeting card, took a selfie, drank cocoa, and booked an appointment for facial massage next month; I would have booked it earlier, but most of the times were already booked. I can fortunately get discount because I have a membership.
I need the massage because my face muscles are stiff and achy.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can but only after she and dad are done with their grocery shopping. We agreed that mom was going to text me when she comes back.

I brushed my teeth and used mouthwash and shaved my chin fluffs.

When it was time to go see my parents, I took a bus because it was raining outside. I chitchatted with an elderly lady on the bus stop.

Once at my parents’ home, I noticed that the doorbell rang properly. I asked my mother about it when she answered the door, and she said that my dad had fixed it. I said I was happy for dad being such a handy man who can fix anything, including broken hearts.

I asked my mother if I could receive her weekly allowance on Sunday because I won’t be able to pick it up next week. As I always write, she gives it to me on Tuesdays, but next Tuesday I will be going to a mammogram, then to Twinkle café, and then to a knitting group.

I ate two cheese sandwiches and cherry tomatoes and drank coffee and orange juice.

Later that day, I took a bus back home. I took some discarded trolleys to the supermarket and found one-euro coin.
I went back home, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils.

I looked through my jewelry collection and put some of my old jewelry to the “charity bag”; a plastic bag where I keep the stuff that’s going to be donated.

I feel a bit bloaty and irritated, I guess I will have my period soon.

Tomorrow me and Mirette will go to a block party. Along with that, I will do the weekly housework; scrub the toilet bowl, take out the recycling, wash laundry, and replace the towels.
I will also mail a name- day card to my friend’s cousin’s child and go to the pharmacy to pick up more prescribed medicine.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits, pluck my chin hairs, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will walk to my parents’ home and back. My mom and dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.
I will go to movies to see The Lion King, and then I will go grocery shopping.

Last night I slept pretty badly. I kept drifting in and out of sleep, and I was already awake before my smartphone alarm woke me up.

I got up, took my biotin supplement and morning medicine, got dressed, and didn’t bother with having a proper wash.

I went to see my mother outside the grocery shop, and then my mother texted me and asked me to come to the municipal service point. She gave me the monthly and weekly allowance at the same time, I bought a new travel card and recharged it and also bought a pretty pink reflective cover.
We were thinking of going to a furniture shop to buy me a new mattress, but most of the shops were still closed because it was too early, the clock wasn’t even ten in the morning.

Mom went back to her own home, I went back home, and took a nap. Later in the afternoon I went to the social office where I met my care worker, we had an appointment with my social worker. We discussed the continuation of the care worker’s services, and we agreed to extend it for six months.

We went together to my home where I washed the dishes, fortunately there wasn’t such a big amount of them.

We agreed for the next appointment on September fourth, Wednesday, at quarter past eleven o’clock in the morning.

I went out and took a bus to downtown, and then a subway to another town. I went to a clothing shop called New Yorker, and bought a new crop top; it’s black and has two daisy patterns, and the text “You can be whatever you want to be”. I have decided to buy one article of clothing each payday from that shop, they sell the most amazing clothes!

I went to a stationery shop and bought three greeting cards and a postage stamp. I took a subway to the city center and then a train back to my hometown.
On the train, I called my mother and agreed with her that we will go buy the new mattress on Thursday. We also agreed that now that the weather is getting colder and rainier, we need to purchase me a pair of Gore- Tex shoes. I also need a new laptop because the old one is falling apart.

I went to the supermarket and bought two pairs of black leggings, they were in discount. I went back home, cut the price tags off the leggings and the shirt and put them into the laundry basket.

I put on my gym clothes and decided to leave for the gym at the same time when Mirette goes to a sleepover.

Once at the gym, I did some stretches and then I used the cross- trainer. It made my shins hurt, so I switched to the treadmill instead.

I had wanted to walk for an hour, but I was getting thirsty and not to mention that I didn’t want to stay at the gym too long because it was already half past six o’clock. I went back home, and zomg I smelled of sweat because I ran out of roll- on deodorant a while ago and I still haven’t ordered Nuud deodorant; the one with only 10 organic ingredients in a biodegradable tube.

Tomorrow morning, right after getting up, I will take a shower and wash my hair.
I will go visit my friend and give him a name- day card. Then I will go to Twinkle café.

On Wednesday, I will go to the art group in Calm Winds, then to the swimming pool. In the evening, I will go to a sing- along in the local amusement park.

On Thursday, me and my mother will go to the nearest furniture shop to buy a new mattress. I might go to the Fountain House on the same day.

On Friday, I will wash my hair before I have an appointment with my usual hairdresser; I will have the dry tips of my hair cut off in layers, and also have an Olaplex treatment. After that, I will go to the dressmaker to pay them for the mended clothes.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; take out the recycling, replace the towels, scrub the toilet bowl.
I will go to a block party at Mirette’s old hometown.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpits and chin, wash my hair, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents so that my father can give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny once I am there.

Last night I stayed awake all the way past midnight. I still managed to fall asleep, and got up at half past two o’clock in the afternoon.

In about quarter of an hour, I had taken my biotin supplement and morning medicine, and got dressed. I didn’t bother with doing the usual weekly beautifying routines because I was out of spoons.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can. I left and walked to my parents’ home; as I mentioned earlier, I had misplaced my travel card.
Once at my parents’ home, mom answered the door. My father was also home, my brother had gone back to his own home after the renovation.

Dad gave me the weekly allowance. I drank coffee and orange juice, and ate cinnamon rolls and cherry tomatoes, and my mother’s fresh out of the oven hemp seed bread rolls.

I called my granny, we talked about how the weather has been and what kind of activities we have attended, until granny’s doorbell rang and she had to go answer it.

I watched some Keeping up Appearances episodes on Daily Motion and made the daily donations on GreaterGood on my mother’s laptop. I also watched The Good Place on Netflix.

I walked back to my hometown and went to the shopping mall; most of the shops were closed, so I went to the supermarket and bought some groceries and two pairs of black leggings.

Once back home, I put the groceries to their rightful places, cut the price tags off the leggings, put the price tags into recycling and the leggings into the laundry basket, washed a load of laundry, and then I took a shower. I washed my hair and used the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment, and shaved my chin fluffs and my armpit hair.

I took the laundry downstairs to the drying room, and hung the underwear on the drying rack in my bathroom.

I took my evening medicine, and remembered to spray Nasonex into my nose.

Tomorrow me and my mother are going to the municipal service point to purchase me a new travel card. In the afternoon, I will go to the social office with my care worker, we will discuss the continuation of their services.
I will do the housework I didn’t do during the weekend, and I might also go to the gym.

Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I guessed it was the full moon, even if I am not superstitious.
It could have been that the heatwave has returned and it was too hot to sleep, or then again, I was distracted by my smartphone.

I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement early in the morning and went back to bed.
I finally fell asleep, and probably had dreams that I don’t remember anymore.

I got up at noon, got dressed, and dabbed lotion on my face.
I logged in to my online bank account and noticed that I had received the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest.

I went to the nearest ATM machine and withdrew all the cash.
I went to the supermarket to buy groceries, then to a stationery shop to buy a greeting card for a friend and a packet of pink ink refills for my pens, and then to a clothing shop to buy two pairs of basic black leggings; right now I only have two of them, and I need more.

I went back home, put everything to their rightful places, and noticed that the pink ink refills have gone missing.

Later that day, Mirette came for a sleepover. We were supposed to go thrift store prowling, but when we were going to leave, I quickly snooped through my backpack and noticed that my travel card was missing.

We agreed that Mirette would go to downtown on her own to pick up the camera she had ordered, and I would stay at home and work on solving the mystery of the missing travel card.

I was thinking of heading to the municipal service point, but it was closed.

Instead, I went to the supermarket and bought an ice pack, a box of interdental brushes, a tube of face serum, and a bottle of organic mouthwash. I also went to the pharmacy to buy melatonin, to help me sleep.

I went back home, feeling a bit morose.
Once there, I put all my belongings to their rightful places, and then I fought with my delusions that had resurfaced when I lost my travel card. They almost brought me to tears. Fortunately I am calm in a crisis.

I went to the balcony to sit on the sofa and enjoy the last rays of today’s sunshine. I brought along my smartphone and diary.
I called my mother and asked her if she can help me purchase another travel card, she said yes. We agreed to go to the municipal service point on Monday.
Mirette came home later.

In the evening, I took my meds and put on a bathrobe; all my nighties were in the laundry.

I watched the movie X- Men 2 and then I started watching X- Men: Apocalypse. I am on an X- Men kick right now, not to mention that I like the character Nightcrawler.

I still feel like I can’t get much sleep; I feel like my brains are full of fluid and my eyeballs are retreating into my skull.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels and wash them. I also need to wash the plastic carrier bags where I keep the recyclable waste.
In the afternoon, if I feel up to it, I will go to the gym. I will do full body stretches and then use the cross- trainer, and perhaps the hula hoop as well.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; wash my hair, use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment, and shave my armpits and chin hairs.
I will go visit my parents; because I misplaced my travel card, I will walk to my parents’ home and back.
I will call my granny. My father will give me the weekly allowance.

I commissioned my favorite artist & one of my best friends to draw a picture of me as a clown because we both love Pennywise 🤡

I had dreams last night, but I don’t remember much about them.

I woke up when my smartphone rang. It was my nurse from the psychiatric center, she told me that we have to move the date for our next appointment. We agreed for next month’s first Friday. She said she admires how flexible I am.

I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, got dressed, and then I took a long, good look into a mirror and realized that I look a bit grubby around the edges. I started thinking that I am thirty years old already, and I can see my first wrinkles coming up. I am obsessed with making myself as pretty as I can, I don’t know if it’s selfish vanity or healthy self- care, but anyway, to me the signs of oldness are the signs of my oncoming death.

I put some lotion on my face and checked my online bank account. I had received money, so I went to the supermarket and withdrew the cash. I bought a few cartons of oat milk.
I could have gone to the library, but I forgot.
An elderly lady told me that my flowery dress looked pretty.

Once back home, I watched two Keeping up Appearances episodes on DailyMotion; Driving Mrs. Fortesque and Daisy’s Toy Boy.

Later in the afternoon, Mirette came for a visit. We left in an hour; we were heading to an annual culture happening called Night of the Arts.

We saw two concerts, I was bothered by wasps that kept on circling me, Mirette took some photos, and then we went to a café to have a feast.
I got a rye bread sandwich with lemon- flavored mayonnaise and some cold- smoked salmon; a moist chocolate cupcake with peanut butter topping; and a salmiakki latte.

I left a bit earlier because I didn’t fancy staying late in downtown. I took a bus back home.
Once there, I took my evening medicine and brushed my teeth, and washed a load of laundry and hung it on the drying rack.

Tomorrow I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. Me and Mirette will go visit thrift stores that specialize in vintage & retro clothes; I will buy all the clothes that I like.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; take out the recycling because I didn’t do it last week, scrub the bathroom from floor to ceiling because it desperately needs it, and also replace the towels and wash them along with the plastic carrier bags where I keep the recyclable waste. They need to be washed every now and then.
I will go to the gym as well, do stretches and use the cross- trainer.

On Sunday, I will do the usual weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpits and chin, wash my hair, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go see my parents. My father will give me the weekly allowance, and this time I will remember to call my granny; I have forgotten to call her for the past weeks, and I am a bit ashamed.

I was already awake before my smartphone alarm woke me up. There was a terrible thunderstorm outside, just like the weather forecasts had predicted. I went to the bathroom to take a pee, wondered if I should already get up and get going and also wash my greasy hair, but I went back to bed.
After my alarm woke me up, I snoozed for fifteen minutes and then I got up.

I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put on deodorant and face cream, and got dressed. I ate garlic and drank cocoa.

I took a bus to Calm Winds and called the counsellor on my way there; he advised me how to get there. It was easy peasy once I found the entrance.

The art group consisted of three elderly nice ladies, one of them was the counsellor. We introduced ourselves to each other, talked about our plans for the future groups, a bit about our lives, and then we went to another room. The counsellor read some poems, I read a haiku I had written in junior high when we were educated about haikus in our Finnish class and read two funny poems.

After the group, I caught a bus to the city center and went to Fountain House. I used the computer to go on the Internet and click all the free buttons on Greater Good website.

I took a train back home, went to the local library, and used one computer and one tablet for the donations, and picked up my requests; two children’s books and five X- Men DVDs. The X- Men character Nightcrawler is my newest fandom husbando.

I went back home, put the books and DVDs to the bookshelf, and read one of the books. I found a Pokémon card, a shiny Slowpoke, between the pages; it has probably been used as a bookmark. I taped it to my collage wall.
I took a shower, washed my hair and face, put lotion on my skin, and cleaned my teeth. I put on the same clothes I had been wearing.
I also shaved my chin and used the face muscle trainer.

I decided to go for an urbane adventure. I took a bus, then a subway to downtown, then a train to another town, then a bus to another, and then a subway back to downtown and then a train back home.
I picked up some trash, paid compliments to strange people, and bought some candy; a bag of Skittles, a box of chocolate raisins, and a Twix bar.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine, sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils, brushed my teeth, and dabbed lotion on my face.

My neck is breaking out, I have huge pimples on my throat and on the nape of my neck.

Tomorrow the first thing to do is to wash laundry.
I will receive money. I will go to the nearest bank to withdraw it; the ATM machines only allow bills to be withdrawn, but if I have, say, 54 euros and 65 cents in my bank account, I want to withdraw it all. I will buy some food, like oat milk and some fruits and vegetables. I also need to go to the supermarket downtown and buy a few cups of raw porridge so I will have breakfast until my next check.
I will go the library, then to the gym, and in the evening, me and Mirette will go to this annual happening called Night of the Arts.

On Friday, I will receive more money. I will go thrift store prowlin’ and go to all three vintage thrift stores in downtown. I will pay with my Visa Electron, so I can spend the rest of the money on online purchases. I will look for clothes, mainly dresses, and also pillowcases and duvet covers.
In the evening, if I have enough time, I will go to the sauna.
if I have enough money left after the thrift stores, I will order an “I love you to the Moon and back” ornament from Greater Good, a “Keeping up Appearances” fan t- shirt from Love Trend, and two tubes of Nuud deodorant from their website. As for the rest of the money, I need to buy the following things; coat hangers (I will use them to hang my dresses in the closet, I will not store them folded in the cupboard anymore because they will only get wrinkly and I never have enough patience to fold them properly), a ice pack (I will use it to treat my breasts; it is a well- known remedy that if you rub an ice cube or a cold pack against your breasts, they will get firmer. But I will only start doing it after the mammography, in case there isn’t anything wrong with my right breast), a name- day card for a friend, a box of pink ink refills for my pens, a pair of headphones, and interdental brushes and a bottle of organic mouthwash.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; replace the towels, scrub the toilet bowl, take out the recycling.
I might also go to the gym, and I have to visit the local library.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; wash and condition my hair, shave my armpits and chin, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents, collect the weekly allowance, and call my granny.

Monday, August 12th:
I will have an appointment with my doctor at the local health center at eleven o'clock in the morning. I will have my breasts checked out, and I might book an appointment for mammography.
After the appointment, I will go to the supermarket to buy a "Welcome to your new home!" card for Eleclya, and some garlic for myself. After that, I will go to the library and use as many computers as I can to make the daily donations on Greater Good.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past one o'clock in the afternoon. I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit.
In the evening, I will go visit Eleclya at her new home. I will give her the card and fetch the steam mop I borrowed her.

Tuesday, August 13th:
One of my friends will visit me, I will give them some of my prescribed medication that I don't need anymore.
I will go to Twinkle cafe, and then I will go visit my parents so that my mother can give me the weekly allowance.
I will buy allergy meds and face serum.

Wednesday, August 14th:
I will go to an art group at Calm Winds, a hang- out place for the mentally ill. After that, I will go to Fountain House.

Thursday, August 15th:
I will receive the monthly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will save most of it until tomorrow but I will order an ice cube mold from Etsy.com.
There will be a happening called Night of the Arts downtown, I will go there with Mirette.

Friday, August 16th:
I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest.
I will go shopping to all of my favorite thrift stores because they have a new selection. I will buy all the amazing clothes I like, and also bedding such as pillowcases and duvet covers, if I can find any. As for the rest of the money, I will buy groceries.

Saturday, August 17th:
I will do the weekly housework; scrub the toilet bowl, replace the towels, and take out the recycling.

Sunday, August 18th:
I will do the weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpits and chin, wash and condition my hair, and use the 12- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go see my parents, my father will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.

Last night I had plenty of lucid dreams.
I slept all the way to two o’clock in the afternoon. After getting up, I took my morning medicine with cocoa.

I did the weekly beautifying routines; shaved my armpits and chin, washed my hair and put hair mask on it.
I did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment minus face serum, because I had run out of it. I must buy some next week.
I put lotion on my skin, got dressed, and put on jewelry; earrings and a necklace.

I waited until my mother messengered me and told me that she and dad were home, so I caught a bus to my parents’ home. It was getting late.

My dad answered the door and gave me the weekly allowance. Mom made coffee, and I ate cherry tomatoes and slices of a cinnamon bun loaf, and home- baked blueberry pie. I also drank orange juice.

About at eight o’clock in the evening when it was time to leave, I made another cup of coffee and then took a bus back home; I would have liked to walk but it started raining. I went to the supermarket and bought cocoa powder and four liters of milk.

I went back home and took my evening medicine with cocoa. I sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils.

I was a bit gassy and farted a lot, until my apartment smelled like there was something rotting inside it. I had to keep the balcony door and kitchenette window open.

Tomorrow I will have an appointment with my doctor at the health center at eleven o’clock in the morning. I will discuss the weird pain and hardness in my right breast, and my occasional insomnia.
After that, I will go to the shops to buy a “Welcome to your new home!” card for Eleclya, and some garlic for myself. Then I will go to the library to fetch my requests and use as many computers as I can to click all the free donation buttons on the Greater Good website.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past one o’clock in the afternoon. I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry.
In the evening, I will go visit Eleclya and bring her the card. I will also fetch the steam mop I borrowed her.

Last night I had a dream where I was a mutant living in Xavier Academy for Gifted Youngsters, and I got into a fight with Nightcrawler because of his off- color jokes.
(I can take a joke that is nice and smart, but I cannot take insult whitewashed as a joke.)
I wonder what my special superpowers would be if I was a mutant? I would definitely use my powers for good.

After getting up, I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put on a pair of burgundy corduroys (I wanted to wear a dress or a skirt, but I only wear them with leggings, and right now I have got only two pairs of leggings and both of them were in the laundry) and a striped t- shirt.

I had received money today, so I paid a commission to Luisita and renewed my Netflix subscription.

I received a phone call from a nurse at the local health center; I explained that I have had weird pain and a lump- like hardness in my right breast, and I want to have it checked out because there is breast cancer in my family (my granny had it, she made it out alive but had to have her other breast amputated); better safe than sorry, as they say. She told me that the next time my doctor is available is next Monday at eleven o’clock in the morning; it’s a tad bit early, but it’s the only time he will be able to see me.

I went out for errands; I withdrew cash and went to the stationery shop to buy ten postage stamps, refills for my ink pens, and a birthday card for a friend’s daughter who will be five years old tomorrow. Then I went to the supermarket to buy groceries.

Once back home, Mirette went shopping for new sunglasses. I put my shopping to their rightful places, sorted out the laundry, drank cocoa, watched The Good Place on Netflix and Keeping Up Appearances on DailyMotion.

After Mirette came home, we went to the sauna. I washed my hair and my body and sat in the sauna with her for a while. For some reason, the lukewarm temperature made me feel anxious. I threw more water on the stove, and felt better.

Once back home, I put lotion on my skin and got dressed.

I spent the rest of the evening doing a little bit of this and that, and then I went out to the shopping mall to buy some ice cream and a pretzel and mail the greeting cards.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine, and this time I remembered to spray Nasonex into both of my nostrils. I also cleaned my teeth.

Mirette went to a concert.
I did some stretches, and then I went to bed. I watched some X- Men cartoon episodes on YouTube.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, and replace the towels.
Me and Mirette will go to a punk rock- themed street block, and then to a free concert.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluff, wash my hair and put conditioner in it, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
When I go visit my parents, I will walk there and back. My dad will give me the weekly allowance; I will call my granny.

I stayed in bed all the way to three o’clock in the afternoon, because I was having such intriguing dreams; not necessarily sweet dreams, but intriguing nonetheless.
The dreams made me think that I am not trying to live my life to the fullest; if I don’t do something fun and entertaining each day, I am not trying my best.

I woke up when my smartphone rang. It was the secretary from the municipal dentist; yesterday I left a request to call me back.
I was told that the only free time was at the beginning of next month in the neighboring town, in the local high school. I jotted it down and went back to sleep.

I got up later, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, and got dressed. Me and Mirette went to the supermarket to buy groceries, once back home Mirette cooked lasagna and I made cocoa.

I went out to visit a couple of museums. The first thing to do was to go the library to use one iPad and one laptop to make the daily donations to Greater Good.

I took a train to downtown and went to a street art museum. I wanted to go to three more museums, but they were all closed for the day.
I took a train back home.

Once there, I washed a load of laundry. I went outside to sit on the yard swing and write into my diary.

I went back home and took the laundry off the washer. I hung me and Mirette’s underwear on the drying rack and took the rest of the laundry downstairs to the drying room. I took the laundry I had left there before back home, but I didn’t feel like sorting it out yet.

In the evening Mirette came home. I took my evening medicine, and then I suddenly had a realization; literally nothing prevented me from having a proper wash this evening! I cleaned my teeth, washed my face, and put lotion on my skin. Then I emptied my MoonCup.
I put on a clean nightie and put Hydrocortison on my eczema. Then I went to bed.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will pay a commission to Luisita and renew my Netflix subscription.
Along with groceries, I will buy greeting cards and postage stamps, a new brassiere, a new pair of headphones, and refills for my ink pens.
I will go to the gym, do stretches, and use the crosstrainer.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna and wash my hair.

On Saturday, I will go to a punk street block and then to a free concert with Mirette.

On Sunday, I will do the usual beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluffs, wash and condition my hair, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents, I will walk there and back. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.

Last night I had a dream where I was in a weird hotel or a boarding house. There was Peter Parker aka Spider- Man, he was a transgender man, there was also his Asian roommate from the Avengers film series.

In another dream I traveled to my granny’s hometown.

I got up at noon, put on a bathrobe, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement.
I shaved the hair off my armpits and chin, washed and conditioned my hair, and used the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
Then I put Miniderm basic lotion on my skin and deodorant into my freshly shaved armpits.

Later in the afternoon, I went to see my parents. I took a bus there.

Once at my parents’ home, mom answered the door and dad was home as well. He gave me 20 euros.

I gave mom one of the knitted blanket squares, and she made me coffee. I also drank orange juice and ate cherry tomatoes, slices of bun loaf, and slices of buttered rye bread.

Later I left and took a bus back to my hometown. I went to an eco- shop to buy a tube of toothpaste and two packages of paper tissues, then I went to the supermarket and bought a package of paper bags and a roll of biodegradable trash bags; I am going to use the paper bags for collecting biological waste, and the biodegradable trash bags for carrying the paper bags to the bio- tank outside my home.

I went back home, grabbed my steam mop from my cleaning cupboard, and left. I caught a train to Eleclya’s hometown and went to visit her.
I helped her with tidying up her apartment, because she is moving into a new one on Tuesday.
Suavecito was there as well, he was helping her.
He told me that his cousin is in hospital, I decided to go visit her tomorrow.

Later in the evening, I caught a train back home. I went to the supermarket and bought a Get Well Soon! card from Suavecito’s cousin.
I went back home, washed two loads of laundry and took them downstairs to the drying room. I also took out the recycling.

Tomorrow my care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past noon. I will wash the dishes.
After that, I will go see my own nurse at the psychiatric center, we have an appointment at two o’clock in the afternoon.
After the appointment, I will go see Suavecito’s cousin in the hospital.

Last night I had a dream where I was visiting the summer cottage, which used to be my mother’s childhood home up north. In the same dream, I went to another town with one of my junior high teachers and two young girls. I picked a fight with them and called them rude names and beat them up; I absolutely hate those dreams where I end up fighting with girls; I want to uplift girls, not bring them down!
In both of the dreams, it was a dark winter night. There were fluffy clouds and bright stars in the sky.

I got up in the morning, took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day. I didn’t bother with having a wash or eating a decent breakfast, I just threw on some clothes.
I also managed to wash my underwear and actually hang it on the drying rack. I still need to stock up on underwear; I need to have fourteen brassieres (right now I have eight of them), twelve pairs of leggings (right now I have only two of them), and fourteen underpants (I don’t actually know how many I have got, about five or six). I need to have fourteen of them so I will have enough for two weeks, because I change my underwear each day.

I received my weekly allowance from the guardian of interest today. I paid my membership fee to the private masseur & physiotherapist company, and then I paid a commission to Luisita.

I left and went to the shopping mall. I visited the stationery shop and bought a new change purse, three greeting cards and proper postage stamps for them. Then I went to the pharmacy and bought a new batch of anti- allergy medicine. I chose the smallest batch, the one with ten pills, because that’s all I could afford. Then I went grocery shopping.
I also popped to my favorite café and ate a cold- smoked salmon bagel and a donut with small licorice candies and a whole Oreo on it! It was yummy.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places and started working on the greeting cards. I wrote the addresses, greetings, and signatures, and put stamps, Priority stickers, and return address stickers on them.

Later that day, I put on my gym clothes and left. I went to the library first and used one iPad and three computers to click all the free daily donation buttons on the Greater Good website.

I went to the gym, did some stretches, and walked on the treadmill for ten minutes while watching the second season of the TV show Derry Girls on Netflix. I actually planned to walk for an hour, but I got bored.

Once back home, I chilled around for a while and then I went to the sauna. I washed my hair with the banana shampoo, it made my hair smelling all fruity and nice. Then I went to the sauna for a while.

I went back home, put lotion on my skin, used the face muscle exerciser for a while, got dressed, and then I left again.

I took some discarded trolleys to the supermarket, donated a little change to a good cause, picked up some trash, paid compliments to people, visited a few shops in the shopping mall, stuff like that.

I have noticed that I usually feel calmer and more collected in the evenings nowadays, when all the day’s hustle is done and my blood sugar has leveled out.

I went back home and took my evening medicine. Then I remembered that I had forgotten to use Nasonex, so I went to the bathroom to my medicine cabinet, and it took me two extra visits to the bathroom before I finally learned that I needed to use the nasal spray.
I still have some of my prescribed pills left in the medium- sized Marimekko purse where I used to keep my Dosett; I am planning to buy two bigger ones so I can keep both my medication and nutritional supplements there. And I need two, so I can keep one in my backpack and one in my medicine cabinet.

Tomorrow, depending how early I am awake, I will go to two block parties before going to a free concert at my hometown. My friends Odessa, Eleclya, and Suavecito will be there as well.
As for the rest of the day, I will do the usual housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels, and also wash more laundry.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluff, wash my hair and put on a hair mask, and then use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will walk to my parents’ home. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I also need to ask my parents about buying me a new laptop because the old one is falling apart.

I stayed awake all night, because I found it hard to fall asleep.
I tried to remember if I had taken my evening medicine or taken one pill less. I guess I should purchase a Dosett.
Anyway, I tried to play the Glad Game; now I could read or knit or watch the DVDs from the library. I also decided that as soon as the health center would be opened, I would go there and ask for some pills I could take on the occasional sleepless night.

In the morning, about at four o’clock, I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement. I was a bit careless and almost took an extra anti- psychotic pill by accident, fortunately I noticed my mistake in time.

About before five o’clock in the morning when the dawn was breaking, Mirette came home. She had visited her father’s apartment with Eleclya and Suavecito.
We farted a lot and then went to sleep in our respective beds.

In the morning, I took a shower. I washed my hair with the last drops of shampoo, and also washed my armpits and face. After shower, I put basic lotion on my skin and got dressed.

I spent the morning doing a little bit of this and that, mostly farting.
Later that day I went to the health center right after it was opened; by then the sleep debt started taking its toll, so I decided to go back home.

I slept all day, except when my care worker came for the weekly appointment. I managed to wash about half of the dishes.

I went back to bed and slept for the rest of the day, except when I got up to change into nighties and take my evening medicine.

I slept sweetly all the way to noon. I took my morning medicine, dabbed lotion on the flaky skin on my face, and got dressed.
I left, and held the door open for Perry who had come to see Mirette. They were going for a vacation in Baltic countries.

I went to the supermarket to buy a mint- chocolate truffle bar. Then I went to the train station, but I decided to turn back and go home because I had noticed that my smartphone had only sixteen percent left, and not to mention I was so low on blood sugar that my hands were shaking and my arms were wobbly.

I went back home and had a little snack.
Later that day, Mirette and Perry left. I went out for errands; I took a bus to the post office and picked up a package. It was the face muscle trainer I had ordered from Amazon.co.uk.

I took a bus back and went to the library to pick up my requests and use three computers and one iPad to click all the daily donation buttons.

I went back home, made a little cocoa, and then I was off again.
I took a train and then a bus to downtown and went to a museum. I didn’t stay long.

I called my mumsie and asked her if I can come over for a little bit, she said yes. I took a train and then a bus to my parents’ home.
Once there, mom answered the door, and dad was home as well. I ate cherry tomatoes and feta cheese and drank orange juice and coffee.

I took a bus back to my hometown. Once there, I went to the library to scan two of my baby photos so I can use them as a reference to a commission for a friend. I also used another computer to click all the daily donation buttons on the Greater Good website.

I took some discarded trolleys to their respective supermarkets, then I went back home. I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

I felt a strange craving; I wasn’t exactly hungry, I just wanted to stuff my face with anything savory.

I no longer have the neurotic need to be healthy and fit all the time. Anyway, I feel like these days I get exhausted very easily, like from using the stairs and stuff. I need to start a proper workout regime, but I don’t always have enough time to go to the gym.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will pay a commission to Luisita and my membership fee to the physiotherapist company; I also need to buy a few greeting cards and postage stamps, a pair of headphones, a new coin purse, another batch of allergy medicine, and go to my favorite thrift stores to buy all the clothes that I like.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels and wash them.
I will go to a block party in a town where my maternal grandparents used to live, and then a concert in my hometown. Suavecito, Eleclya and Odessa will be there as well.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routine; shave my armpits and chin, wash my hair, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will walk to my parents’ home. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, I will discuss with him how to get a new laptop because my current one is falling apart.
I will also call my granny.

Medicine intake:
💊 Took my morning medicine and biotin supplement
💊 Took my evening medicine and some extra tranquilizers

Nutrition:
🍏 A few mugs of soy milk cocoa
🍏 A few mugs of coffee with sugar and oat milk
🍏 A few candies
🍏 Half of a seitan steak
🍏 Burger with a veggie patty
🍏 A few pieces of chocolate with dried berries
🍏 Few slices of feta cheese
🍏 Two glasses of orange juice

Exercise: nil

Shopping:
💸 Small tube of Bevita lotion
💸 3 small cartons of soy milk
💸 A new pillow

Two photos 😄

Me knitting on a commuter train. This photo was taken by Suavecito :3

I dreamed of becoming a beautiful swan and so I did 🦢

Last night I had nightmares of being bullied by the boys in my junior high school. Like I always say, it’s not like I don’t want to let go of my past but my past won’t let go of me.
In one of the dreams, a boy attempted to molest me, I screamed out loud but it sounded more like a whisper.
In another dream, one of the boys has intentionally taken a dump in his pants and I had to put him in diapers.
I also had a dream where I was invited to a party by a teacher, I tried telling her that the boys were bullying me but she ignored me.
In another dream, I went on a cruise ship. That dream was somehow depressing.
In another dream, I lived in a society that was much like Gilead from The Handmaid's Tale. The society was controlled by the military, and all fertile women were forcefully impregnated.

I got up when the doorbell rang; it was Mirette’s care worker. She and Mirette talked about her own personal stuff, meanwhile I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put lotion on my skin and got dressed.

After the worker (she was very nice) left, we traveled to the summer resort together; first a train, then a subway, then a bus.
It was a chilly and grey day, and I didn’t mind one bit; I’m glad that the sizzling, scalding heat wave is over.
And for some reason, I was wearing nothing but a cotton dress (and underwear of course). When there was the heat wave, I boldly walked around in a long- sleeved shirt, a Dirndl dress (they usually have two layers of cotton), and leggings under them. Boo yah.

Once at the summer resort, there were lots of nice people around. There is also this person who has masculine features but wears feminine clothes, they are always nice to me.

I ate a veggie burger and a seitan steak, green grapes, feta cheese, cinnamon cookies, and candy. I didn’t actually enjoy my time there because the younger girls were making such a noise, they screamed their heads off and banged tables and clapped their hands and so on.

In the evening me and Mirette caught a bus to the town where she used to live, I caught a subway to downtown and Mirette caught a subway to her father’s home.
I took a bus to my parents’ home. Mom answered the door; both my father and my brother were also home. (As I have probably mentioned before, there’s a renovation going on in his apartment so he has to stay at my parents’ home.)
Mom gave me twenty euros. I told her that I have a membership card to the aquarium, and that I have started geocaching as a new hobby. I should have guessed that she got all huffy at me; the membership card was a waste of money and geocaching is dangerous.
I drank orange juice and coffee and ate a few slices of feta cheese.
I gave my mother one of the knitted squares.

I was a bit unhappy when I left. I scuffled my feet when I walked to the bus stop.
I took a bus to my hometown and went to the shopping mall. First I went to the pharmacy and bought a small tube of cream for the flaky skin between my nose and upper lip; then I went to the furniture shop and bought a new pillow. I went to the grocery shop and bought six small jugs of soy milk, and then I went back home.

I have decided to buy a new coin purse; the one I have sheds glitter everywhere. I might buy a cute little Marimekko purse, or something made of upcycled material. I also need to buy a pair of proper headphones.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places; I put the pillow onto my bed, and the lotion tube into my cosmetics purse; which reminds me, I need a new cosmetics purse as well because the old one that I ordered from Wish.com is falling apart. I put the milk into the fridge.
I plugged my smartphone to the charger, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

As for the rest of the evening, I drank cocoa and quarreled with the delusions.

I hope I will get my period soon, I have had PMS and ovulation slime long enough.
By the way, I have noticed that I no longer have evening anxiety.

I might go visit my granny in the beginning of October.

Tomorrow my own care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past noon. I will wash the dishes, including all the ones that are washed rarely; the toothbrush mug, all the scissors I can find in my home, my spork and reusable straw, and other stuff. After she has left, I will wash my hair. Then I will go to a smartphone shop and ask them to help me out with my smartphone; for some reason, my smartphone calendar keeps on sending all the appointments to my GMail account, and it annoys me big time.
I should also ask about virus protection.
After that, I will go to Fountain House.
I will go to two art museums in downtown, and libraries as well.

On Thursday I have nothing special to do, no appointments or anything. I will go to the library, or perhaps a couple of museums, and then to the aquarium. I might also go visit the amusement park and go to the free rides, if it isn’t too crowded and the weather is fine; one of the rides (the one with the pod that slowly rises upwards and you can admire the landscapes all the way to Tallinn) is usually closed if the weather is windy.
At some point, I should go to the gym and use the cross- trainer; now that I don’t have any negative feelings towards my body, I no longer feel the need to exercise too much but I still need to take care of my body.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will pay for the membership to the private masseuse & physiotherapist, pay a commission to Luisita, and also go shopping at my favorite thrift stores and buy all the clothes that I fancy. I will also buy a new pair of headphones, a new purse, a new cosmetics bag, and a few greetings cards and proper postage stamps, and mail them.

On Saturday, I will tidy up my bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels and wash them. I will go to a children’s festival in downtown, then to a block party in the same town where my grandparents lived before, and then to a concert in my neighborhood.

On Sunday, I will wash my hair, shave my armpits and chin, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will walk to my parents’ home, my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.
I might go to a museum, or the aquarium, or someplace else.

Yesterday morning I shaved my armpit hair and chin fluffs, washed my hair and put on a face mask, and did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.

I went to see my parents, my dad gave me twenty euros. I traveled to downtown and went to the nearest Body Shop to buy a bottle of banana shampoo.
I traveled back to my hometown and went to the stationery shop, where I bought greeting cards and postage stamps.

Once back home, I started working on the greeting cards; after that, I went out and took all the bottles and cans to recycling, took some discarded trolleys to their rightful places, and took a bag of useless stuff to a charity shop container.

Last night I had a dream where I visited my granny in her hometown.

I woke up early, but continued sleeping all the way to noon. I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplements, got dressed, and went back to bed because I was feeling rather drowsy.

I woke up when the doorbell rang; it was Mirette’s mother who had gone for a visit. She and Mirette discussed her personal stuff, and I decided to go to the supermarket to buy cocoa powder and oat milk.

Once back home, they had left. I decided to head for an urbane adventure; I wanted to go someplace I have been at times, geocaching or simply for a walk, but instead I decided to head to downtown and go to the aquarium.
After all, I never made it there because the trams had changed directions. Instead, I took a train back home and visited the library. I used four computers and one iPad to click all the free daily donation buttons on the Greater Good website.

Once back home, I tidied up a bit, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

Tomorrow me and Mirette will go to the summer cottage. Right after that, I will go visit my parents; my mother will give me the weekly allowance. I will deposit it and pay my membership to the physiotherapist & masseur company; as for the rest of the money, I will buy a new pillow, and a pair of headphones.

On Wednesday, my care worker will come for the weekly appointment. I will wash all of the dirty dishes in my apartment, including the ones that are rarely washed; the toothbrush mug, all the scissors I can find, and stuff.
On the same day, I will go visit the library, and a couple of art museums. I also need to wash my hair; from now on, I will wash it two times a week, every Wednesday and every Sunday.

On Thursday, I will go visit the library and a couple of art museums.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will pay a commission to Luisita, and I will also go to my favorite thrift shops to buy all the clothes that I fancy.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, and replace the towels.
I will go to two block parties on the same day.

On Sunday, I will wash my hair and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents, my father will give me the weekly allowance.

Last night I had dreams about my former grade school. I should visit the school yard as soon as possible, before the summer break is over.

I got up about at midday, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on toner, serum, cream, and eye cream, and put basic lotion on my skin. I got dressed. I am getting better at taking care of my basic hygiene.

I replaced the towels, washed two loads of laundry, and took out the recycling.

It was a hot and sunny day outside, just like it had been the days before. There is a heat wave in Europe right now, but fortunately it will be over soon.

Later that day, Mirette’s friend Perry gave us a lift to Rige’s home. She had a get- together today, there was also Suavecito, Eleclya, and Odessa. Mirette got some of the other friends’ second- hand clothes, we sang karaoke, and ate Rige’s home- made chocolate cake and cheese croissants.

In the evening I took a bus to Eleclya’s hometown, then a train back home. Once there, I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils. Mirette stays at Perry’s home tonight.

I scrubbed the toilet bowl, and took the laundry downstairs to the drying room.

Tomorrow I will do the beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluffs, take a shower, wash my hair, and put on a hair mask. After that I will do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will take all the empty bottles and cans to the nearest LIDL for recycling, and give the cash to Mirette once she comes home.
I will go visit my parents; my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will make the weekly phone call to my granny.
I will go to the nearest Body Shop and buy shampoo. I will also buy greeting cards and postage stamps, and mail them. I also need to buy some oat milk.

Last night I had a dream where I went to a New Year party dressed as Alex from The Clockwork Orange.
In another dream, I joined the Girl Scouts. I have been thinking of doing that in real life as well, because there is no age limit in my home country’s scouts and it would give me something to do.
I also had even more dreams of the Weeping Angels from the TV show Doctor Who.

I woke up early and decided that the best way to sleep was my blanket balled up next to my naked body. I had slept naked because there’s a heat wave in my home country.

I got up at ten o’clock in the morning, took my morning medicine and the biotin supplement, and brushed my teeth. Between surfing on the Internet and drinking cocoa, I also put deodorant into my armpits, put basic lotion on my skin, and washed my face and put on toner, serum, lotion, lip balm, and eye cream.

I started wondering how there are people who go to school and work every day, and they still have enough time and energy to do their morning routines in perfect order. I don’t study or work, and I have plenty of time, and still don’t feel like doing the morning routines.

I ate some garlic and made more cocoa.

I received money today. I paid my gym membership fee, paid a commission to Luisita, and then I renewed the Spotify Premium subscription. I decided not to spend any money before my appointment with my hairdresser.

I could have washed the dishes and visited the library, instead I took a nap in order to make time go faster.

I got up when my smartphone alarm rang. I went to the supermarket to buy a big bar of chocolate.
It was a hot, sunny day.

I took a train to Eleclya’s hometown. It took me a while to find the hairdresser, but I found it anyway.
I had my hair washed, and then I had about two centimeters of my dry ends snipped off and my fringe cut shorter. I got discount because I had the Fountain House membership card. The hairdresser was very nice to me.

I went to see Eleclya, her new pet bunny Eddie seemed to have parked himself in front of the door.
We took some selfies with silly filters and petted Eddie, and then I left.

I took a bus to downtown and went to the modern art museum to see an exhibition that will end on Sunday. I went to see other exhibitions as well, and then I visited the shop.

I took a train back to my hometown and went to the supermarket where I bought a box of cocoa powder for Eleclya; I had drunk all her cocoa, and I wanted to make amends. I also bought four jugs of soymilk.

I went back home, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils. I cleaned my teeth; first I used the tongue brush, then I brushed my teeth and used mouthwash.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housecleaning; I need to tidy up the bathroom, wash the dishes, take out the recycling, hoover my mattress and bed, and replace the towels and wash them with the rest of the laundry.
In the afternoon, I will go to Mallard’s house; she has gone to see her relatives, and Eleclya agreed to go water her flowers and take care of Dipsy the dog; he is actually
Eleclya’s dog, but currently lives with Mallard. I will give Eleclya the box of cocoa powder.
Suavecito will be there as well, he will drive us to Rige’s home.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routine; shave my armpit hair and chin fluffs, use the 12- step Korean skincare regiment, and wash my hair and put on a hair mask.
I will go see my parents, I will walk there and back. My father will give me the weekly allowance. I will also call my granny.
As for the money, I will buy a few greeting cards and postage stamps, and also mail them. I will also walk to the western part of downtown, because it’s near my hometown. I will go to the shopping mall and visit The Body Shop to buy a bottle of shampoo.
Once back home, I will continue doing the housework.

I went to a hairdresser today 👸

A commission by my amazing friend Candys-Killer; me as an angel, and her as a demon :3

Food consumed:
🍎 About a bucketful of oat milk cocoa
🍎 Three cups of coffee with white sugar and oat milk
🍎 Three halves of a grilled corn- on- a- cob
🍎 A slice of grilled halloumi cheese
🍎 A handful of feta cheese
🍎 Three garlic bread sticks
🍎 Three wine gums
🍎 Four squares of chocolate with fudge bits

Medicine:
💊 Took my morning medicine
💊 Took my evening medicine
💊 Sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils
💊 Took my biotin supplement

Hygiene:
🧴 Put Miniderm on my body
🧴 Put Hydrocortison on my wrists

Good deeds:
🎗️ Used my smartphone to click all the free daily donation buttons on Greater Good
🎗️ Used my laptop to click all the free daily donation buttons on Greater Good
🎗️ Paid 5 compliments to random people