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(no subject)

Last night I played Pokemon GO and listened to Keeping up Appearances podcast.

I had dreams about going to visit my granny and being Nightcrawler's girlfriend.

I got up and took my morning meds and made coffee. I took a shower and put hair oil into my hair tips, washed my hair and put conditioner into it.

I put lotion on my skin and deodorant into my armpits. I got dressed.

Later that day Anton came for a visit, we left and ran into Furby.

We took a bus to downtown and went to a cafe. I got a pecan brownie with fudge.

We went to four thrift stores.

Once back home, I took my evening meds and started washing laundry.

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(no subject)

Last night I had a dream where I watched the Disney Pixar movie Soul.

In another dream I studied in high school.

In yet another dream, I was in a stone art museum, there was a well that looked like the one from The Ring.

I got up and took my morning meds and got dressed and made coffee.

I did the morning skincare regiment.

Mirette and I left and took a train to another town and then another train to another town.
We went to see our friend Rige.

Later that day, she and Mirette went grocery shopping. I stayed and called my granny.

After they came back, I left and traveled back to my hometown.

I mailed two greeting cards.

I went back home and took my evening meds. I scrubbed the toilet bowl.

Tomorrow I will go visit my parents, I will ride my bicycle there and back. They will give me the weekly allowance.

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(no subject)

Last night I watched the movie X- Men: First Class.

I used the nasalspray I had bought, it made me breathe easily the whole night.

I got up and took my morning meds and changed from nightie into a bathrobe, and made coffee.

I got dressed, and didn't bother with brushing my teeth or applying face cream.

I went to the hairdresser, I had my eyebrows done and my bangs shortened.

After that I bought groceries, then I ordered a box of laundry detergent from Tru Earth.

I went back home, put everything to their rightful places, and then I called my mother and asked her if I can come over. She said yes.

I took a bus to my parents' home, once there mom let me in and dad was home as well.
Mom was cooking dinner.

Later I went out for an urbane adventure.

Once back home, I took my evening meds, brushed my teeth and applied lotion on my body.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework, and go visit Rige.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents, they will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.

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(no subject)

Don't get me wrong, I am not suicidal, but I sometimes wish I had never been born at all. I will die some day, and it scares me. Going to Hell is scary enough, but Heaven is even worse. Wouldn't you get bored of neverending bliss? I wish I had never been born so I wouldn't have to die.

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Life is just one darn thing after another

Last night I stayed awake past midnight.

I went to sleep and had a dream where I moved into an ecological commune.

I got up and took my morning meds and changed from nightie into a bathrobe, later changed into clothes and made coffee.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said yes.

I went to the convenience store and recharged my travel card.

I walked over to my parents' home, my mom let me in and dad was home as well.

Later that day I took a bus back home.

I was worried how pallid I looked, so I took a shower. I put conditioner into my hair and washed it, and put a hair mask on.

After the shower and three cups of coffee, I left and took a bus and a subway to another town.

I visited a pharmacy and bought a nasalspray for my congested nose.
I went to a knick- knack store and bought fudge filled chocolate buttons.

I traveled back home, took my evening meds and made coffee.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will go visit my favorite hairdresser and have my eyebrows done and my bangs shortened.
I will buy a Netflix gift card, and order ecological laundry detergent from an online shop.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; take out the recycling, change the towels and bed sheets, and clean up my bathroom.
I will go visit my friend Rige.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents; they will give me the weekly allowance.
I will call my granny.

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A better day

Last night I had a dream where I studied in Xavier Academy and had cuddly sex with Nightcrawler. He was covered in blue fuzz.

I got up and took my morning meds and changed from nightie into a bathrobe, and made coffee.

I changed from bathrobe into clothes.
I scrubbed the toilet bowl, changed the towels and pillowcase.

My care worker came for the weekly appointment, I washed the dishes and talked with her.

We made a new appointment for next week's Wednesday at three PM.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said yes.

I walked to my parents' home. Mom let me in, dad was home as well.

Later that day I traveled back home through an urbane adventure.

Once back home, I took my evening meds.

Tomorrow I will take a shower, condition and wash my hair and put on a hair mask.
I will recharge my travel card, and walk to my parents' home.

On Friday, I will have an appointment for having my bangs shortened and my eyebrows done.
I will buy a Netflix gift card, and order a box of ecological laundry detergent from Tru Earth.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework. I will go visit my friend Rige.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents, and walk there and back. My parents will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.

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Today was nice, I guess...

I got up in the afternoon, and the first thing to notice was that my keeper was overflowing. I went to the bathroom to take my morning meds, emptied my keeper, and then I got dressed.

I got dressed and called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said yes.

I took a bus to my parents' home, my mom let me in and dad was home as well.

My lower back started hurting extremely badly, I had to order a taxi to the ER. They gave me pain killers.

I took a bus back home in tertible pain.
Once there, I took my evening meds and went for a walk.

It was completely useless, the delusions bothered me the entire time.

I changed into a nightie and went to bed.

My back and head hurts, and I feel delusional.

Tomorrow my care worker will come for the weekly appointment; I will wash the dishes, fold the laundry, scrub the toilet bowl, change the pillowcase and face-, hand-, and kitchen towels.
I will go visit my parents by walking there and back.

On Thursday, I will receive money for recharging my travel card.
I will take a shower, put hair conditioner into my hair and wash it and put on a hair mask.
I will walk to my parents' home and back.

On Friday, I will have an appointment for shortening my bangs and having my eyebrows done.
I will order a box of Tru Earth laundry strips, buy a Netflix gift card, and go visit the vintage thrift stores.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework.

On Sunday, I will walk to my parents' home and back. They will give me the weekly allowance.
I will call my granny.

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Why am I so depressed and anxious all the time?

I wonder why I always sleep late into the afternoon, no matter how early I go to bed in the evenings.

I also wonder why my eyes run for no reason at all.

Today I managed to take a shower. I put hair oil into my hair tips, washed my hair and put conditioner into it.
I still couldn't be bothered to brush my hair.

I am weaning myself off the pain killers.

I still need therapy. I have decided that right after the corona crisis is over, I will go to psychotherapy. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life but I still need to talk to someone.

Today I have felt like nothing, and everything at the same time.

I was angry and delusional.

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My plans for Monday, April 12th - Sunday, April 18th

Monday, April 12th:
I will take a shower, put hair oil on my hair tips before washing and hair conditioner after washing my hair.
I will buy a new reflective plastic cover for my travel card.
If it doesn't snow, I will ride my bicycle to my parents' home.
After leaving, I will visit the library and return all the items I have.
I will travel downtown and visit the nearest Body Shop to recycle the eye cream I bought once, and go to a shop to buy a birthday gift for a friend, and mail it to him.
I will also go visit "everything costs a euro" shop and buy air freshener.
I will call my friend Elysion.

Tuesday, April 13th:
I will ride my bicycle to my parents' home.
If the weather is fine, I will go visit two beaches and one park.

Wednesday, April 14th:
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past two o'clock in the afternoon. I will wash the dishes, fold the laundry, change the pillowcase and face / hand / kitchen towels, and scrub the toilet bowl.
I will go visit my parents. If the weather is fine, I will either ride my bicycle, or walk there.

Thursday, April 15th:
I will take a shower, put on hair conditioner and then wash my hair and put on a hair mas.
I will recharge my travel card.
I will go visit my parents.

Friday, April 16th:
I will receive the weekly allowance.
I will go to a milkshake bar to taste- test mint chocolate milkshake.
I will buy four pairs of titanium earrings of the same size, and have them fitted into the holes in my earlobes. I have three in each one, and I want to have numbers two and three fitted, and the first hole left bare so I can put other earrings in.
I will also buy a Netflix gift card and biotin supplements.

Saturday, April 17th:
I will do the weekly housework; change the towels and bed sheets, take out the recycling, tidy up the bathroom.

Sunday, April 18th:
I will go visit my parents, they will give me the weekly allowance. I will make the weekly phonecall to my granny.
As for the money, from now on I will do grocery shopping on Sundays.