Yesterday evening I glued the insoles into my boots, and let them dry during the night.
Today I slept all the way to four o'clock in the afternoon (4:00 pm) and had erotic nightmares, I also had a dream about the DeGroot keep, and the same dream I had had a couple of times before; I rode my bicycle around my hometown, into places I have never visited before.
I also had a dream where I took off the piercing ring in my nose, and the ones in my ears.
I had a headache when I got up, I only took my morning medicine and ate two satsumas for breakfast, and dressed into a pair of simple black trousers and an orange- and- brown striped Marimekko shirt.
I spend time on Tumblr and Facebook, and started feeling cabin fever; I decided that there's no way I am going to spend the entire day wallowing in my own misery.
I called my mom and asked if it's okay that I come for a visit, I was feeling a bit down in the dumps and didn't feel like wallowing in my own misery. Zie said it was okay.
Now that I think about it, I shouldn't always go visit my parents when I'm sad. Both of them have told that they're a bit annoyed by my constant visits, mainly because they expect me to get independent enough.
I think that next time I should go for a bike ride, or a walk, or visit Helsinki, or perhaps an art museum. I have avoided going for bike rides and walks because I suffer from slight agoraphobia out of the fear of being sexually assaulted, and because physical exertion derived from exercise and sports makes me feel moody and frustrated, even if exercise is supposed to relax and make you feel good.
It was a bit chilly and rainy outside, so I put on a hoodie. I put on the boots with the rubber insoles glued to them, and they made my boots feel two sizes too small and the insoles felt hard and flat, but I tried to manage.
I took the bus 53 to Raappavuori. Once at my parents' place, mom was watching TV and dad hadn't come home from work yet.
I drank coffee and made a couple of sandwiches, and ate a tomato and a handful of grapes.
Mom told me zie had had a dream about me, I had been a first- grader and I was wearing one of the pinafores I used to own as a kid, and mom had looked at my clothes to know if they were clean and tidy. I had to smile at that.
Later the day mom went to visit Myyrmanni shopping center. I tore the rubber insoles from my boots, and decided to buy a pair of new ones.
Dad came home, I hugged hir and asked if zie had a nice day at work.
I went back to Myyrmäki on foot, on the way there I ran into my mother who was bicycling back home. I hugged hir and we talked for a while, zie told me I look really fresh and stylish.
I visited Myyrmanni, went to Citymarket to buy a pair of the same insoles I have owned before; they are very simple and affordable, and more comfortable.
I also visited the stationery shop simply to look around, and I found many amazing diaries.
To be honest, ever since I started writing my Finnish blog, I have been thinking of giving up writing a paper diary.
For some reason, I write more fluently when writing on a computer, when I write into a diary I just write some vapid tripe. And when keeping a blog, it gives me no trouble to write the daily happenings in a couple of minutes, but when writing into a diary, I don't always feel like finishing my daily happenings, or taking it everywhere in my backpack, and it frustrates me. Not to mention that diary is just paper, it can get dirty, wrinkly, torn, or lost, but Internet is always there.
Of course, I feel a bit maudlin about it because I have written a diary ever since 1997 but then again, I think it's just progress that technology makes our life easier. It's far more easier to use a vacuum cleaner than a broom, and a smartphone instead of relying on phone booths.
Once back home, I felt better than yesterday evening; I didn't feel manic or aggressive, I felt calm, cheerful, and content. It was amazing. I quarreled with the voices as I usually do, but not as much as yesterday.
I have been thinking that from now on I will start doing the evening routines right after taking my evening medicine; brush my teeth, take a shower, anoint my face and body with lotion, do some simple stretches and exercises, and put on my nightie, even if I'm in the middle of Netflix binging.
Tomorrow I will have an routine check- up at the dentist's, in Myyrmäki health center at twenty past noon (12:20 am).