I get these weird thoughts and random mental images all of a sudden that I don't recognize as sensible thoughts, I have lost many memories which is the side effect of electroshock therapy, and I also feel very indifferent about things that used to be important to me in the past.
It's so weird, electroshock therapy was supposed to cure my depression, but now I feel even worse than I was before the electroshock therapy began.
Sometimes I still wish I lived with my parents, I cannot cope with all this alone. Then again, my parents are always criticizing me, and they rarely show any love and affection towards me. Which is sad because I have a deep craving for love and affection.
Sometimes I feel like my friends are my true family, including the people whose job is to help me, like my therapist and own nurse.
Then again, I feel as if a rare kind of happiness is growing through this sorrow. I feel like I can overcome this.