I still remember when I tried to learn to meditate, I went to this free- of- charge meditation class (it's free because the organization named Helsinki Meditation believes that wellbeing should be free), and I could only attend the first class, there was a reason why I couldn't visit the second and third (and last) class, but I forgot.
For the past three years I have tried to attend the same meditation classes, but it's always the same; I only attend the first class, and for some reason or another, I always miss the second and third class.
I checked the Helsinki Meditation home page and learned that they will have another meditation class next week, but by then I am going to visit my grandmother, so I guess I will attend another class.
I had bad dreams as usual, and got up at quarter past ten o'clock in the morning. It's later than usual, because the past few weeks I have gotten up somewhere between four and seven o'clock in the morning.
I didn't bother with the morning routines, I just took my morning medicine and dressed up and washed my face and rubbed lotion on it.
I went to S- Market to buy two chocolate bars, one filled with coconut and one with raspberry yoghurt. They both tasted good, but soon I felt bad again because I had promised to cut down my sugar consumption.
Soon the sweet taste vanished from my mouth, and I already felt bad because the delusions were bothering me.
I went back home, washed a load of laundry, took my vitamin supplements, cut my nails, and spent most of my time being bored. By then it was time to go see my therapist, we had an appointment at two o'clock in the afternoon today.
I took the I train to Helsinki, and then a subway to Kamppi, and made it to the therapy session in time.
We talked about my delusions and how my mother has been pestering me to get a job.
Yeah, about that. I would love to get a job (and by job, I mean 9- to- 5 job that pays me enough that I can get off welfare, buy healthy food, live in a respectable neighborhood) at some point of my life, but right now it's not possible.
And while I don't have a job right now, at least I keep my home as tidy as possible, buy groceries, exercise and work out, have hobbies, and try to keep my mind and body healthy. So, despite the fact that I live on welfare, it doesn't make me lazy.
We made a new appointment on next Monday, October 5th at half past one o'clock in the afternoon.
I visited Tennispalatsi and noticed that the art museum has been opened again after the renovation. I decided to visit it and I was glad to see that they accept the Museum Card.
I walked to Elielinaukio and took the bus 322 to Raappavuori, I went to visit my mother. Mainly for the reason that I was feeling hungry and needed some sustenance.
I had called my mother many times today, but her phone was off. When she finally answered, she said that she had been in a hobby group where they read books and knit. I'm glad that my mom has so many hobbies now that she has retired.
I asked if I can come over, she said it was alright,
Once at my parents' home, I helped mom with the dishes, and she made coffee for us while she prepared soup for her and dad's dinner. Dad was still at work.
I ate a plum, a tomato, some salt crackers, and three mint chocolate flavored cinnamon rolls.
Me and mom had coffee, and I said that I love moments like these, it's a grey autumn evening and I am inside having coffee with my mother, watching the yellowed leaves fall on the ground.
I had a blister in the pinkie toe of my right foot, once again. I have been thinking of ditching the combat boots, and buying comfortable shoes.
My friend Elyseé called me and asked if she and Emjuso can come over, I said it was okay.
I took the bus 571 to Myyrmäki and visited Hennes & Mauritz. They have many ever so lovely clothes and jewelry for sale right now, but I should also buy practical clothes; underwear is the most important kind of clothing, and I have a serious lack of brassieres, panties, socks, and tights. Especially now that the weather is getting colder, I seriously need practical clothes.
I went back home, boiled three chicken eggs for supper, hoovered the floor, and now that it's getting late I have to start doing the evening routines.