Mii- Mii the ever- loving 🌼💗‿💗🌼 (kattidya) wrote,
Mii- Mii the ever- loving 🌼💗‿💗🌼

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I had a really bad dream, a regular nightmare last night.
In the dream I was harassed by a man in a train station, I got a hold of a kitchen knife and stabbed him. He grabbed a samurai knife, and almost killed me.
I stabbed another man, and he came back to life and made fun of me.
In the same dream I also stabbed my father, my brother, and my favorite musician Joey Ramone to death, even if I love them all.
I woke up, spent about half an hour looking at the dark night sky, and wondering what the dream had meant.

I fell back asleep and had a dream where I entered my own personal hell, my old junior high where I was bullied every day.

I had an erotic nightmare about teenage boys in diapers, and throughout the dream I was conscious that I wondered if my cellphone would ring and I would wake up.

I got up and remembered to turn my clock to winter time or whatever it’s called in English.

I didn’t bother with morning routines or housework, I immediately went to see my parents. I remembered to take my bicycle along, my father had promised to fix it. The front wheel made a terrible rattling noise every time it spun.

Once at my parents’ home, I drank too much coffee and ate too much sugary treats.

Later the day I rode my bicycle back home. Once again, I didn’t bother with housework, I just went to the swimming pool.

Once back home, I didn’t bother with housework, I decided to go visit my parents again.
I called mom to ask if it was okay for me to visit again, she said okay and didn’t sound the slightest bit annoyed.
It was getting dark and it was raining, but I still caught the bus 571 to Raappavuori. Once in my parents’ home, I noticed that my brother was visiting.

I felt like I wanted to talk to my mom about my worries, but over the years I have learned not to tell my mom everything about my life, she would only get mad at me.

I went back home on the bus 565, once there it was too late to go anywhere so I decided to stay inside for the rest of the day.

I didn’t bother with housework, but I managed to wash a load of laundry, swab the kitchen counter, and scrub the toilet bowl.

I managed to brush my teeth and wash my face and also dab basic lotion on my skin. I still feel like I haven’t accomplished much today.

I have been terribly angry and bitter all day, I think it’s my PMS. About a week before my menses I get angry, and my delusions also get worse.

I called my mom and talked to her a bit, it made me feel better knowing that despite everything I have ever done, she still loves me.

My face muscles feel stiff. I feel as if my skin is dirty because I didn’t feel like washing today. I still have a great deal of housework to do.
Tags: angst, real life
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