I felt a strange longing to go back to my parents’ home where I had spent the Xmas, even if it didn’t feel so special this year.
Today I woke up with a horrid headache, and I went to the bathroom to throw up a couple of times. I managed to produce some acrid bile, because my stomach was empty.
I really have no idea why I was so sick, I don’t have any food allergies and I don’t drink alcohol so I wasn’t hungover.
Those kind of achy- pukey days have happened before when I have overslept, but I have overslept almost every day of this month without getting sick.
Later the day I got up when it was already dark outside, and looked at my smartphone to check the time; it was ten past five o’clock in the evening, I had thought it would have been something between eight or eleven o’clock.
I had miraculously got better, I didn’t feel achy or pukey anymore, so I called my mom and asked her if I can come over for the rest of the evening. She said it was okay.
I brushed my hair and dabbed lotion on my face. The skin between my nose and upper lip was flaky and dry, and there were tiny scabs on my lips where I had picked off the dry skin.
I put on my pink Dirndl dress with a grey Ramones shirt over it, and also wore a gold- plated penguin- shaped pendant with a real piece of aquamarine piece of seashell, I got it from my friend Schlitzie as an Xmas present a few years ago.
I took the bus 571 to Raappavuori, once in my parents’ home my brother had gone back to his own home, dad was drinking some flu remedy, and mom had just got up from her nap.
I brewed some coffee and ate chocolate, and I felt my molars sting. I guess I have cavities in them, I better book an appointment for a dentist’s check- up next year.
Me and my mother talked about an article in the newspapers, it was about Xmas carols that had moved people into tears. I told her that when I was a kid, the Xmas carol Maa on niin kaunis (Finnish for “The Earth is so beautiful”) made me feel so emotional that I had locked myself into our walk- in closet to cry my poor eyes out.
My mom told me that she had watched a document about a poor mother of four young children who had immigrated into another country, taking along nothing but her children and a new coffee pot. Her husband had sent her a letter, telling her he will come home after the war, and so he did, in a coffin. Mom told me that she had imagined herself with me and my big brother and losing her husband, and I hoped she won’t start crying.
Nothing makes me feel as bad as seeing a loved one cry.
I left at seven o’clock in the evening, hugged and kissed my both parents and told them I will probably visit them tomorrow.
I intended to take the bus 565 to Myyrmäki, but the bus 571 arrived earlier.
Once home, I felt alright and kind of content. I surfed on the Internet, put on my jammies, and at eight o’clock in the evening I took my evening medicine.
For some reason or other, the delusions started bothering me and I started arguing with them. Later I learned that it was because I hadn’t taken my morning medicine.
I still have some money left, a note of fifty euros that my grandmummy sent to me.
I have decided to go see the movie Onnelin ja Annelin talvi. If the eco- market Ruohonjuuri is open tomorrow, I will go there to use the discount coupon I received when I bought the keeper. I will buy coconut oil, I will use it to spice my breakfast porridge.
I have decided to stop using shop- bought shampoo, from now on I will make my own shampoo instead. I’m going to wash my hair once or twice a week with baking soda mixed with a cup of warm water, and rinse them with apple cider vinegar also mixed with a cup of warm water and perhaps a few drops of essential lavender oil. I need to buy those ingredients as well.