I had bad dreams, and in the morning I didn’t bother with brushing my teeth or having a wash.
I logged in to the online bank service to check out my balance, and noticed that I hadn’t received the weekly allowance. I cannot possibly receive them tomorrow, since tomorrow is Epiphany which is a bank holiday.
I received 126 euros from the social office last Thursday, but I didn’t realize that they were supposed to be my grocery money.
Oh well, I really don’t care. I already eat so little that I don’t need groceries. And I needed to lose weight anyway. And I can always ask my mom to give her prodigal daughter some alms.
I went to buy two chocolate bars with the last of my money, and then I went to see my mom. I was already in the bus 571 when I called her and asked if I can come over, she said yes.
Once home, mom complimented me on my brown minidress, even if it’s very country hippie- like. Sometimes she manages to surprise me.
I wrote into my diary, had coffee with my mom, and asked her if I can take a shower since my hair was greasy. She said yes.
I fetched a clean towel from the cupboard, washed my face and hair and body and put lotion on my skin, and felt very fresh.
My mom made me ashamed of my weight, as she usually does. I could feel the dress tightening around my stomach, the way it never did, and I realized that I really should lose weight. When I look into the mirror sideways, I look like I am seven months pregnant, and my cheeks feel puffy. It’s a good thing I had decided to start going to the fitness center more often.
After mom went grocery shopping, I stayed a little longer and then went home.
My whole apartment smells of the wildflower- scented laundry detergent I used for the first time yesterday. I really should invest in scent- free laundry detergent, fortunately eco- markets sell them.
Ever since I received the extra money last Thursday, I have noticed that I don’t do well on days when I have money; ever since morning, I don’t even bother with my morning routines because I am so eager to go out to spend the money. Usually I just wander from shop to shop, looking at things I want to buy, but decide not to buy anything because I don’t feel like wasting my precious monies on trivial things.