I got up so early I actually managed to surprise myself; at half past ten o’clock in the morning.
I took my morning medicine, had a wash, and dressed up. I wore a powder blue blouse with a flower pattern, and a pair of Care Bears pyjama pants.
I went out and visited Citymarket to buy a bottle of iced coffee, then I went to the library to return a couple of books.
Once back home, I drank too much water and my head started aching, and my throat was sore. I tried crankin’ up my blood sugar by eating a sandwich and drinking a glass of milk.
I managed to hoover the floor, but I guess I have to hoover it again because it’s still dusty.
I was just about to take the metal, paper, and carton waste to recycling when I realized that I should do it on Friday before my journey to Kangasala.
Later the day my ASPA worker Kaarina came for a visit, I managed to iron the laundry and wash the dishes.
Sometimes I hope I was so full of energy, even for one day, that I could do housework without feeling miserable for it, without feeling the “Meeehhhh, I don’t wannaaaahh…” attitude and without the delusions bothering me.
We both left at the same time, I went to the social office to drop off my electricity bill and then to the library to return a book.
I decided to go to Helsinki, so I took the P train there and went to Kiasma. I also visited the Kiasma shop, and wondered if I could afford buying one diary per week from there, they have some interesting notebooks. Not to mention I still have the Friends of Kiasma membership card, I could get ten percent discount for every purchase.
I was thinking about heading to Girls’ House, but decided to go to Myöhätuuli instead. I caught the bus 322 to Pähkinärinne, once in Myöhätuuli the others were playing board games.
I drank a cup of cocoa and another cup of coffee, and wrote into my diary.
Soon evening arrived, and I thought about going to see my mother or traveling to Helsinki again, this time I could go to some thrift shops.
Instead, I took the bus 311 to Myyrmäki and went to visit the library, I borrowed some books like The Baskerville Hound by Arthur Conan Doyle, and Satori in Paris by Jack Kerouac.
I also visited a few shops in Myyrmanni shopping center, looking for a new pair of sunglasses for myself. I was in a good mood.
Once back home, I started feeling horrid; I felt moody and furious and delusional, I felt just like I usually feel before my menses, but my menses were already over this month.
It could have been my troublesome blood sugar, but then again, I haven’t eaten properly for a long time now and it hasn’t bothered me in any way, so why would it start bothering me now?
According to my Dosett, I had remembered to take my medicines regulary.
I took my evening medicine beforehand, and swallowed four tranquillizers, but it made me feel worse. I wondered if it was a panic attack or an anxiety attack, or if I had drunken too much coffee, even if it was decaf.
I took a warm shower and went to bed, feeling a bit calmer. I hoped tomorrow would be better.