I went to Girls’ House with Elyseé. I also met their partner, they seemed like a very lovely person. I am happy for both of them.
I started a new diary, it’s one of those Extra Large Geepap diaries.
I had another of these pesky meetings at the psychiatric center with my mother, my nurse Saija, the occupational therapist, the psychologist, the doctor, my ASPA worker and a nurse student. My mother cried her eyes out and I almost cried as well, but mostly the things the workers said about me were positive.
In the afternoon I went to Myöhätuuli hobby group.
I went to the gym in the evening, I managed to walk full 30 minutes on the treadmill. I also decided not to use the hand weights anymore, because I can exercise my arms when using the exercise machines. I should also take up the habit of doing some simple stretches before starting to exercise.
I got my period. I still need to learn the proper technique of using a MoonCup.
I received money, I paid bills and bought groceries.
I went to a sushi restaurant with Elyseé, Suavecita and Eleclya. I ate lots of sushi and honeydew melon, and learned that coffee tastes better with cream instead of milk.
Later the day I recharged my travel card, and went shopping to Myyrmanni shopping center.
From the stationery shop I bought a gift for Elyseé, I won’t spoil what it is in case you are reading this, sweetie darling ^_^ I also bought a set of ten first class postage stamps, four new notebooks, two greeting cards, and six magic ink pens.
I went to Hennes & Mauritz and bought a pair of earrings, then I went to Gina Tricot and bought three necklaces. I went to Citymarket and bought a pair of knitting needles, a ball of wool yarn, a ball of cotton yarn, two soup bowls, two packages of glittery stickers, a gift for Carol Anne, and then I went to Glitter and bought a set of three “Best Friends Forever” necklaces.
In the evening when I went back to Myyrmanni shopping center, I met Outikka and Eleclya and Suavecita. I gave Eleclya and Suavecita two of the friendship necklaces, after Suavecita went back home I bought Outikka and Eleclya and myself ice creams, and also bought myself a new shopping bag. Outikka picked me a bunch of yellow flowers that I put into a vase.
There had been some bad shit happening, and it was all my fault. I was so depressed that I stayed in bed all day.
I received a package in the mail, it was the bottle of organic shampoo I ordered from Etsy.
I thought about committing suicide. The only reason that’s stopping me is that I fear becoming handicapped or falling into coma due to a failed attempt, and burning in Hell after I die.
I called my nurse and asked if I can come see them tomorrow, they said yes.
I ate eight pots of soy- based coconut pudding, which I had actually mistaken for yoghurt.
In the evening, while lying in bed, I put on my headphones and listened to hard rock on Spotify on full volume. I also knitted the first square to the “Mother Teresa quilt”.
I went to see my nurse, they were very nice to me.
I was in a foul mood for most of the day.
I ate two bars of chocolate.
I went to Helsinki and visited Tennispalatsi art museum.
I washed two loads of laundry, hoovered the floor, took out the trash, and kept the balcony door open to let fresh air in.
My parents had gone to a weekend off to Firenze, so I visited them to drink all their orange juice and to do a little housework.
In the evening I went to the gym, I managed to walk on the treadmill for twenty minutes and use all the exercise machines.
Mostly I just stayed in bed all day, except when I watched Doctor Who on Netflix. I made it to the episode A Town Called Mercy.
I had another of those pesky meetings, this time it was only me, my mother, the occupational therapist and my nurse. Tears flowed freely.
I went to Girls’ House, and got two packets of free bread.
I had a terrible craving for something sweet, so I went back home the shortest way and made myself a couple of sandwiches, and drank two cups of tea, one peppermint- flavoured and one chocolate cake- flavoured.
Later the day I was supposed to go to the natatorium, I went for a short walk before that.
I realized I was having a Creepy Moment; my eyesight was blurred, my teeth were clattering, my knees felt weak, and I was terribly conscious of every noise and sight and physical feeling.
I managed to go to the library and lend a couple of DVDs, then I went back home.
I felt miserable for not being able to go to the natatorium, but I forgave myself.
I went to sleep early, and remembered to set my alarm clock to ring at half past nine o’clock in the morning, considering that I would have an appointment at the health center tomorrow.