I got up in the afternoon, took my morning medicine, dabbed Aqualan on my face, and dressed up.
I went to see what was it that I had received in the mail, it was a Valentine’s day card from Gaia! I was so happy! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I listened to some upbeat music, like the We Will Rock You! musical version of Queen’s Headlong, and Every Sperm is Sacred by Monty Python, danced and sang along, imagining myself on the stage with Peter Capaldi and his electric guitar.
I met my mother at the train station like we had agreed, and she gave me the weekly allowance. I bought two cans of microwaveable soup, and a microwaveable lunch, and two bottles of iced coffee.
Like you have probably learned from my entries, I spend a great deal of money on iced coffee because, well, I have simply become addicted to it. I have decided that next week when I go visit my doctor for an annual check- up, I will talk to him about it and find out how can I kick the habit. And meanwhile I will spend my money on something else, like magic ink pens or pieces of fruit.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sweet treats just like any person, but too much is too much.
Today was really somehow a peculiar day; it would have been amazing if it wasn’t for my general moodiness. I saw no reason why I was so angry; well, I know it was because my delusions kept on bothering me, but usually there is a reason why my delusions get worse than usual, and usually it’s my PMS or low blood sugar.
Sometimes I feel like my depression and anxiety prevent me from seeing how amazing and awesome my life is. It’s like, any mentally healthy person would think my life is amazing and awesome; today I slept in, danced to music, met my darling mother, wore my favourite t- shirt...
The weather was amazing as well, the sun shone softly, the air felt breezy and balmy on my skin, the sound of birds chirping and the melting snow dripping made me feel like it was already spring.
Tomorrow morning I will call my social worker and ask her why she hasn’t paid my bills, and then I will go see my mother and have coffee with her. In the evening I will go to the gym, and work out as usual, and take a shower after that.