I snoozed for half an hour, and had a really bad dream.
I awoke when my smartphone alarm woke me up again, I decided to get up even if I didn’t feel like getting up, but then again, I didn’t want to see the bad dream.
It was one of my most re-occurring dreams, the one where some silly kids are playing pranks and I get so furious that I kill them.
I got up and took my morning medicine, put deodorant into my armpits and put lotion on my face, put on a multicolour- striped tricot turtleneck blouse and a pair of black trousers. I also put on two necklaces.
I went to the lab for blood tests, I received the queue number 175; there were 30 patients before me, so I decided to give the number to someone else and come again on another day. I didn’t feel like staying because my HoivaOnni worker would visit me today, and I didn’t want to make her wait. And besides, I didn’t know whether the blood tests were supposed to be taken at the lab or at the psychiatric clinic.
Once back home, I started doing housework; I replaced the towels and took the sheets off my bed and washed them, and took the mattress, blanket, and pillow to the balcony to freshen them.
I spent the morning writing my blog template, surfing on the internet, and drinking coffee.
At noon, my HoivaOnni worker came for a visit.
She told me that the HoivaOnni service has been admitted only until the end of September 2017, and my new social worker had not extended it yet.
It’s nothing bad, it just means that the workers won’t visit me until the service has been extended. I can do just fine for a couple of weeks.
After the appointment, I called my mother and told her I am coming over. She said it’s alright.
I took my black Dirndl dress to the dressmaker. I told him that I wanted the skirt cut shorter, and the bodice made slimmer.
I travelled to my parents’ home, once there my brother was visiting me. I love my brother, but I feel uncomfortable around him because he suffers from depression, and sometimes talks about how bad things are in his life.
I ate salmiakki- chocolate waffle bites, and dark grapes. I also drank coffee.
Mom gave me 40 euros. I helped her fold bed sheets and duvet covers.
Later the day I walked back to Hometown, and went to the shopping mall. I visited the stationery shop to buy greeting cards, and then I went to the supermarket and bought these yoghurt shots that are supposed to balance the bacterial flora in your intestines, and also these fruit & vegetable shots that are supposed to supplement your daily intake of vitamins. I have decided to take two of them every day: I have a really lousy appetite, and I cannot afford buying all kinds of vegetables and fruits; they are very expensive here in Finland.
I also bought a new toilet brush, one pair of rubber gloves for washing the dishes, and another for general housework.
I went back home, and put everything to their rightful places. I started working on the greeting cards; I wrote my name and address and greeting and signature, and the receiver’s name and address. I might also put some stickers on them.
I started feeling bored, so I went to the shopping mall and bought three jars of chocolate pudding with whipped cream, it’s become my favourite treat so far that I have become addicted to it.
Once back home, I felt terribly inconvenienced, uncomfortable, and frustrated, and that’s when I became hyper- sensitive and aware of my mental and physical well- being; my teeth felt mouldy, my fingers felt sticky, I had a bad taste in my mouth, my blouse felt too tight, the insides of my ears were itching, and my lips were chapped.
I have been thinking of cutting dairy, sugar, and caffeine out of my diet, they only make me feel worse.