In another dream me and my best friends Mirette, Suavecita, and Eleclya, and my mom, dad, and brother, and my girl cousins from my father’s side, were in this abandoned funfair.
I woke up to a splitting headache and a tremendous coughing fit, and felt rotten. I decided to sleep as late as I possibly could, actually I have been sleeping very late these days; not because I am actually sleepy, it’s just that I have so many nice dreams that I don’t feel like getting up and facing the cold, harsh reality, and besides, in January, the Sun rises so late in the day that I don’t feel like getting up.
About at half past three o’clock in the afternoon, I started thinking that my mother might be wondering where I am, so I got up.
I took my morning meds, dabbed lotion on my crusty face, and put on mom- approved clothes, a pair of sleek black trousers and a white shirt with a 3D appliqued dark yellow flower and the text ”Beautiful” in cursive next to it. Fortunately I was wearing a beige brassiere, a black would have shone through right through the white cotton.
I called my mumsie and told her I am coming over, she said it’s alright.
I walked to my parents’ home, I was still feeling a bit sleepy but fortunately the chilly, crispy air made me feel chipperer.
My mother answered the door, my dad was napping, and my brother was there as well. He had a black eye, he has been in bar fights once again.
I drank coffee and orange juice, and ate green grapes and goat cheese and a small slice of a cinnamon roll.
I called my granny and told her that I might not be able to visit her approximately on January 27th, because I have to see if I am able to purchase the prescription medicine before that.
Later the day I walked back home, it was getting dark. This woman came up to me and said hello, I asked her if she knows me, and she said No, she just wanted to say hello. I said hello back and told her that I hoped she had a pleasant evening.
I went to the shopping mall, but all the shops except the supermarkets were closed. I went to one of the supermarkets to look for Valentine’s day cards. I should start buying them soon, and also lots of first- class postage stamps.
I still have the Valentine’s day cards I didn’t send last year, because I couldn’t afford all the postage stamps.
This year I have to buy about eleven Valentine’s day cards that I am going to mail, and cards to three of my best friends.
Once back home, Mirette was already awake, she had been shopping at the local mall. We talked about this and that, she listened to music and I did a bit of housework, scrubbed the toilet bowl and re- arranged my stuff.
I have taken a huge dump three times today, and my stomach is still churning and I am farting a lot, the kind of way I feel after eating potato mash.
When it was nine o’clock in the evening, I took my meds. I didn’t brush my teeth or put lotion on my skin, I just put on a nightie. I ate some pancakes with sugar, and the rest of the crisps.
I started feeling seriously anxious, depressed, and panicky at the same time, even if I had had a nice day and didn’t feel any different. I felt like there was a freezing cold fire burning inside my heart. I felt like the world is falling apart on me, and I felt like screaming in agony.
I wish I knew the reason behind all these anxiety attacks, so I knew how to avoid them or treat them.
I have been told that it might be the fact that it might be a symptom of fatigue or blood sugar.
Tomorrow will be a busy day; I have to get up early and have a proper wash before going to visit the health center. I will have the excessive ear wax rinsed out of my left ear, then I will go to a smartphone shop in the mall and inquire about getting a broadband connection for my home. I am not going to purchase one before my payday.
After that I will go to the psychiatric center to have my anti- psychotic prescription and the usage permission renewed. I have to tell them to notify me when they are ready, and also tell them to hurry.
I will go to the dressmaker to fetch my pink Dirndl dress.
I have to mail a few greeting cards to friends, take a half- empty tube of cortisone lotion to the pharmacy for recycling, and then call the worker who is responsible for these things and ask them to book a regular turn for the sauna at my house; the thing is, most Finnish apartment houses have a common sauna, but you have to get a regular turn for using it, like my parents who have their sauna turn every Saturday at four o'clock in the afternoon.
My HoivaOnni worker will visit me at three o´clock for the weekly appointment; I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry while she is visiting me. After the appointment, I will go to the gym and work out as well as I can; first I will do stretches, then sculpting exercises and yoga, then I will walk on the treadmill for an hour.
Once back home, I have to hoover and mop the visible part of the floor.