I watched the rest of the awesome Australian musical Emo: the Musical and some of the live- action movie Fat Albert. I have been watching the old Fat Albert cartoons on YouTube, I really like them because they’re so wholesome.
In the evening, me and granny went to the sauna. We had a good time, I felt like I was bathing both my body and soul.
I always drink too much water when visiting my granny, I am just trying to relieve my boredom. Now I feel like my brains are bloated with water and I have a metallic taste in my mouth.
I fear that I am becoming addicted to chocolate again, because I am craving for Kinder eggs. I remember how in the last decade, when I lived in Kitler Hill, I became addicted to chocolate and ate two big bars every day simply because I was miserable.
I love the new emojis, especially the mermaid one.
Last night I had a dream where I started using ecological cleaning products in my quest of becoming a better person. I would love to use them, but they are harder to get (the local supermarket near my home doesn’t stock all of the products I need) and more expensive. Then again, I want to support small businesses, especially environmentally minded, and of course, become a better person. I might start buying those products again.
Right now, I use laundry detergent, toilet- bowl cleaner, universal cleaning spray for removing stains, and special cleaning spray for bathroom, dish-washing liquid, and air freshener. I don’t use floor soap because I have this electric floor mop that cleans with steam.
This morning, after getting up, I took my morning medicine, washed my face, put lotion on my skin, dressed up, and put on jewelry. I haven’t brushed my teeth for a while.
I had coffee and some pierogies for breakfast, later the day me and granny had lunch and then we had afternoon coffee.
I went to the local pharmacy to buy a tube of cortisone lotion, I need it for my itchy skin. Then I went to the library, and then to an art museum. I was in a bad mood, despite that my blood sugar was alright, but my delusions kept on bothering me.
I have been thinking of starting to go for longer walks and staying in art museums and such a bit longer, in order to show the delusions that I am stronger than them.
My nurse called me and told me that she had booked an appointment for us on March 20th, and a doctor’s appointment on March 16th. It’s been almost half a year since I last saw her.
I have been living in the belief that simply because the worst times in the history of my mental health is over, I will no longer experience any kind of crises.
I have noticed that I very rarely feel actually happy; I know it’s not realistic to feel happy all the time, but neither is feeling sad and angry all the time. Of course, I would feel better if I ate the right mixture of nutrients and exercised more, I would feel better. But then again, if I had to plan and cook healthy meals about more than three times a day and exercise every day, I would run out of spoons pretty soon.
Once back at granny’s home, I knitted a rainbow- striped quilt square, surfed on the Internet, and made plans for next month.
I wish my period would start sooner, I have had a horrid PMS.
I ate blueberry pie for supper, so fresh out of the oven that I burned the roof of my mouth. I had a small water- filled boil on it that I popped with a toothpick. This is why I don’t like eating hot food, I always let it cool down to lukewarm because it’s much more pleasant to eat.
I should go for a walk at least once a day, I am getting sick of staying inside all day. I need to get exercise and fresh air.
Tomorrow is the first day of March. I might go for a longer walk in the neighborhood and the nearby forest, and visit the library and the art museum again. And this time, I am going to stay longer.