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Gloomy Doom

Last night when I went to bed, I was feeling a bit sad.
I had weird dreams.

I slept as late as I could, wondering whether I should get up and go drink my morning coffee, but I still felt like sleeping because granny’s bed felt so nice.
Nevertheless, I got up, took my morning medicine, drank coffee and ate rice porridge with blueberry soup and two pierogies for breakfast.
I washed my face, still didn't clean my teeth, dabbed lotion on my skin, and remembered that this day marks the beginning of the two- week pause for using the cortisone lotion on my skin. After two weeks, I am going to start using the lotion again. Here’s to hoping that my skin won’t get any worse.

For lunch, granny made soup from blue cheese and parsley.
Later the day she went to a Red Cross group. I drank a few mugs of coffee and cocoa, and argued with my delusions. I was glad nobody heard.

I decided to go out for a walk. I packed my stuff into granny’s old handbag; spare keys, smartphone, my diary and magic ink pen, cosmetics bag, and the purse where I keep my cards; Visa Electron, library cards, discount cards, and such. Then I went for a walk; I took along these spur- like things with spikes in them, they are supposed to prevent you from slipping on ice. Granny had recommended them to me.

I didn’t stay long because the delusions bothered me like hell; with my nose gushing with snot and me breathing heavily, I tried to quell my silent screams. Instead, I went to the local art museum, but when I took off my winter coat I learned that I had forgot to put on my dress(!) I was wearing a long- sleeved blouse and a pair of leggings. I went back to granny’s home, and decided to stay inside all day.

I swallowed three tranquilizers; my frustration and anger turned into apathy and sadness, and I took a long nap, and tried to keep myself from weeping. I pitied myself by thinking that I would be better off today, if I had earned better grades in school. I would have gotten myself a well- paid job, and I wouldn’t need to live on welfare checks.
I also started thinking that I should get a lobotomy, or some other surgical procedure to cure my illness.

Later the day I got up, had dinner with granny, watched television with her, and for supper I had three mugs of cocoa and a slice of blueberry pie. I watched Netflix and made plans for next month.

Tomorrow is another day. I will go for a walk, and I will go to the library and art museum. And this time I will remember to take along my dress.
I will also receive the weekly allowance, I will purchase two tickets to the Pussy Riot concert, one for me and one for my friend.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
2nd Mar, 2018 22:39 (UTC)
You are eating very well at your Granny's
3rd Mar, 2018 12:59 (UTC)
Yes, my granny is amazing when it comes to home- cooked meals :3
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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