In another dream, I was in an eco- market and tried to buy spaghetti in bulk so I could have at least something to eat, but it was too expensive.
In another dream, I was kept in a laboratory like Eleven in the Netflix series Stranger Things. I was given a jam bun to eat, but I noticed it was sentient and died immediately after I had licked the icing off. I said, “It has given up its will to live”, and I was immediately asked to explain what it means to “give up”. It was gruesome.
I got up in the morning, took my medicine and the first biotin supplement of the day. I washed my face and dabbed lotion on my skin and got dressed.
Granny went to the gym, I stayed inside all day surfing on the Internet and drinking coffee and quarreling with my delusions.
After granny came home, I helped her put the groceries into the fridge and lied that I had gone for a walk around the two cemeteries downtown. She believed me, and I hope she never finds out the truth, or the fact that I drank five cups of coffee in one go. She seems to be worried about my health and is constantly telling me what I should eat and how I should exercise; sometimes it’s annoying but I know all she means is good.
I have taken up the habit of using the nasal spray Nasonex, the one prescribed by the doctor, in the mornings as well, even if my doctor told me to use it in the evenings. But my granny told me to use it in the mornings as well, and I don’t have enough balls to disagree with her. Let’s see what happens, if I don’t become a 50- feet- tall cactus with tentacles instead of arms by midnight, I guess I am doing just fine.
I got my period today. About time, I thought I had turned into a man.
Every time I sneeze, I have bloody boogers coming out of my nose. I guess I can expel period blood both ways.
I have been in a bad mood all day. I can no longer hold up this “only good vibes and positive thoughts” façade.
In the afternoon, I helped granny cook cabbage stew for dinner.
After that, I remembered my diet and went walkabout on the lakeshore. I walked out of town, and then I headed back. I was in a bad mood and kept on quarreling with my delusions.
Once back at granny’s home, I was in a slightly better mood. I could get used to dieting; I am not actually going to be “heroin chic” thin, just shed all the excess weight and become healthier in body and mind. I need to exercise in order to cope with my depression and anxiety, and keep my bodily functions healthy, and improve my mood.
As for the rest of the day, I finished knitting the grandma square. I played FreeRice until my donation total reached 19,000 grains of rice.
For supper, I had a bowl of raspberries, half on an apple, and two cherry tomatoes. I also took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day, and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.
I had an anxiety attack; I felt like I was falling apart and panicking, but I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason for it.
Tomorrow I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest, I will buy the rest of the Easter cards from the local supermarket and mail two greeting cards.
I also have to return the books and DVDs to the local library.
On Friday, I will start a- packing for my journey back home, and also go to the sauna with granny so I can wash my hair. That way, I will look representable when I go back to the metropolitan area.
On Sunday, I will go back home. My omnibus leaves at ten minutes past four o’clock in the afternoon.
I could take a bus or a train back to my home town; the bus takes a longer time, but it leaves right from the station next to the omnibus station. But then again, when I walk to the train station in another part of the town and haul my luggage bag, I get plenty of exercise.
Once back at my home, I will put on a Rosy Cheeks face mask, unpack my luggage and set a load of laundry to wash, and then walk to my parents’ home and back to collect the weekly allowance.
After that, I will do some discreet grocery shopping.