19th February 2011

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The one thing I really hate in being young is money, or more like the lack of it.

I want to buy tons of things to help me build my personality; music albums, movies on DVD, books, clothes, furniture and knick- knacks, jewelry and accessories.

But when you earn about 1100 euros a month, and most of it funds your basic needs, well, you know how it feels.

I remember when I was in junior high, I used to wear only baggy jeans and tattered single- coloured blouses. I would have given my soul to wear, well, maybe not fashion clothes but something pretty.

You can call me materialistic. I can tell you that materialism is a way of philosophy; materialists think that the existence is based on materiality, things that can be seen or touched and are tangible.

And besides; I'm a girl, duh. I like hoop earrings and leather miniskirts and pink tops and all that.

Well, my financial things are starting to get better as next month my welfare will be increased by hundred euros and if/when I get the work experience place, I will start receiving more money.
  • Current Mood: grumpy grumpy
  • Current Music: Thee Ultra Bimboos - Sparkles
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OK, here's another entry on the subject of my finances.

The peculiar account I have been talking about, is an account owned by the local social office.
My welfare from the Social Security of Finland is directed to that account, and the social worker responsible for that account divides the money in parts;

o The money used for paying rent, also my water bill is included in the rent. It is a solid amount of money, not determined by the usage of water

o The money used for paying bills:
. electricity
. home insurance
. cell phone
. broadband Internet connection
Every time I receive the bill, I take it to the social office and ask the receptionist to give it to the social worker responsible for the account, I won't mention her name. She pays them directly.

o The grocery money, divided in four parts for each week of the month. It's about 100 euros, and I can basically spend it on anything I want but I buy all the basic needs; food, hygiene, detergents.
The grocery money is paid every week on 4th, 11th, 18th and 25th day, but there might be some minor glitch in the working system as this week the money was paid on Tuesday, when it was supposed to be paid on Friday.

o The money that is left after all the bills have been paid, is deposited on my account on the last day of the month, and I can spend it on anything I want. If I receive money this month, I have to buy a proper ceiling lamp for my alcove along with an energy- sufficient light bulb, and a counterpane and a proper blanket for taking naps.
  • Current Mood: accomplished accomplished
  • Current Music: Björk - Sun in my mouth
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I'm on a mission; I'm going to go through every single entry on this journal, change the icons and correct the typos and such. You think I will succeed y/n/pancakes?

I hate the slight minority complex I have towards writing; I want to update my journal every day just for the simple contentment I get from writing, but I always feel like my day is not interesting enough for you to read.
Why can't I write for my own enjoyment? This is my journal after all, for Mary's sake! I myself don't mind what other people write, whether it be Nazi propaganda or shota comics.

But anyway. I had a dream I was in a summer camp in Kuortinkartano; it means Kuortti's mansion, Kuortti is a municipality in Finland and this mansion serves as a place for confirmation camps, summer camps or a catering place or something for weddings and such.
The mansion is owned by a organization that arranges camps and other activity for families whose children suffer or have suffered from leukemia and other cancers; as you might know, I suffered from leukemia between the ages of 1 y 10 months - 4 years. I used to attend festivals and summer camps, the last visit was in a summer camp after I was released from my first stay in the hospital in summer 2007.

The dream was very unhappy; I had ended up in the mansion somehow, even though I had not planned to visit it.
Some of the visitors were the big boys from my grade school, the ones who bullied me. We were supposed to wear catholic school uniforms sans the sexiness.
I was dressed up like Alessa Gillespie from the movie Silent Hill and I was bullied by the boys, I went to the yard and sat on the benches, wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked myself back and forth. I wanted to go back home as soon as possible, but the weekend seemed to be never- ending and I was not given the permission to go home.

I really don't see why I have such unhappy dreams from happy places such as the summer cottage in Rautalampi, I have lots of happy memories from those places and I still have morbid dreams of them. I hate it!

This weekend is dedicated to housework; we're halfway through the month, so it's another major clean- up weekend.

I have been cleaning up ever since morning; I have washed laundry, wiped all the desks and tables clean, dusted my art objects and put them in a neater order, dusted the carpets, vacuumed the floor and so on.

The one thing I also hate a lot is my slight agoraphobia; it took me a long time to convince myself to go out to the shops.
When I finally went out, I visited Citymarket and bought toothpaste, butter and a bar of chocolate. I also visited the library and lent the book Syysprinssi by Anja Snellmann neé Kauranen.

Once home, I went out to dust the carpets. I washed more laundry, along with the shower curtain, the little tablecloths and my Optimus Prime backpack.

I used the Feeling Beautiful face mask I had received as a Valentine's day gift from Suvi. When I first used it, I prissily dabbed it here and there, but this time I squeezed a glob sized like a cow patty on my palm and splattered it on my face. It was a nostalgic feeling, as when I was a child and rubbed hand lotion on the walls and such.
I looked like I was trying to imitate an African woman; my face was all brown, and once it dried up, it made my skin look all wrinkly and scaly like a gargoyle's face. Then I remembered Oops, I forgot to put it on my neck! So I rubbed some more on my neck, waited until it dried, and then washed it off with warm water. And look at that, my pores were smaller and lighter and my cheeks were softer and smoother!

You might not believe it, but I really appreciate taking care of my hair, nails, skin and all that. I like to use peeling cream and different kind of lotions after I have cleaned myself up, but not going into excess. I want to give the impression that despite being schizophrenic, I can be classy and elegant young lady, well, at least in my own way-

I tried watching Transamerica, but I got bored.

Tomorrow I will go see my parents; my dad sent me a text message earlier this week, telling me that the Ghost World DVD he had ordered had arrived (or actually, he said it was a CD. Did he type it by a mistake, or had he actually ordered a CD by mistake?), so I will fetch the DVD from there.
And also, I had asked my mom to find the diploma I had received after completing grade school, I might need it later in my life when I apply for studying as a librarian. I'm going to fetch it tomorrow, along with the DVD, and also my mother didn't mind when I asked her for a little extra money for the trip to Kangasala.

There will be a free admission to the Posti Museum this weekend. I had not enough time to visit it today, but I have taken up this habit of visiting one of the museums in Helsinki each week, preferably on Sundays after I have visited my parents.

I have been sneezing a lot today, about eight times!
  • Current Mood: ecstatic ecstatic
  • Current Music: Gorillaz - Punk