25th March 2011


An update about my arm

One of the stitches has unraveled by itself, but the rest of the stitches are okay.

The little pinprick holes where the stitches are sewn are oozing pus, it makes me freakishly happy.

My arm is sometimes very achy, but I'm already used to it. Besides I have lots of pain killers.

I cannot bend or stretch my arm, but I think that after a few months of exercising and normal life I can use it like before.

I can't lift practically anything from my pair of boots to my Optimus Prime backpack, or carry a shopping bag.

I will have the stitches removed at the end of April.

I don't wear the sling, despite being told I should wear it for three weeks after the surgery. But it bothers my housework and general life.

My arm is a bit stiff, I hold it in a crooked way, but it will be better.

I can write and wash the dishes and do other important things.

Probably the only difficulty is grooming; I have to use my left hand when lathering my hair with shampoo, and spreading lotion with my right hand is painful.
  • Current Mood: accomplished accomplished
  • Current Music: Kimya Dawson - Angels and seagulls

Holy shit, I wrote a love poem.

Angel Lips

I love her so much.

She's so beautiful. I am totally in love.

It hurts me when I look at her, but it hurts even more when I look away.

I hate being in love. It feels like if the world exploded around me, I wouldn't notice because all I can feel is my heart being torn apart.

Will she ever be mine? The half of my soul lost in this cruel world. Will we ever be one?

I can stand all the hate for being a girl lover, but I will never be complete without her smile, telling me she loves me too.
  • Current Mood: sad sad

I have lost my Plussa card, the discount card I use when grocery shopping. I ordered a new one, and I got a temporary card from the service point while filling out the form. Both cost me nothing.

It rained a lot of snow today, but it was a lot warmer than yesterday.
Weird, we will transfer to daylight savings time next Sunday, and I haven't heard anyone mention it. I hope I will remember it.

I had a dream I was fighting with a girl who looked much like Tintti in junior high, I also had dreams about Silent Hill, the great fight in Hogwartz at the end of Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows. I also had a dream about a dystopian future, I tried to imitate a table in a train and someone stuck her finger up my bare ass.
I hate the kind of dreams in which I am quarreling and fighting with someone as I hate fighting. More I hate the dreams about junior high.

This morning I lazed around in my dressing gown for two and half hours before cleaning myself up and fixing a proper breakfast.

I felt a bit depressed, and my stomach was arguing when it finally got fed proper food instead of chocolate. I was thinking of going to outside, I had to visit Citymarket, the video renting and the social office, but I was feeling too down in the dumps. It's so weird that in the mornings when I don't eat anything, I'm not worried about being grumpy and drowsy due to low blood sugar, nut in the mornings when I eat a proper breakfast I'm worried about passing out when I go outside.

I watched a little of The Lovely Bones, it made me cry again. I love that movie big time.

I decided to take a nap. I wouldn't be able to go outside for a long time, because some counselors from Laturi were going to visit me at two p.m., to check if everything is in order in my habitat.

I woke up when my cellphone rang, the two counselors asked me if it doesn't matter if they arrive an hour early. I went to open the door to the corridor and then went to the bathroom to have a long pee, I was panicked when the doorbell rang and I kept on peeing.

One of the nurses was an ordinary blonde, and the second smelled of exotic, spicy perfume and had long, curly ginger hair. I thought, that's how I want to look when I'm older.

I was a bit drowsy from sleep, so I kept on stretching my limbs, yawning, not taking eye contact and generally being a bit pallid.

After they left, I decided to get on moving so I put on my quilted jacket, woolly cap and scarf and gloves and left.

I was wearing a long, loose Tyrolean skirt a both of my pants were hung up to dry.

First I went to Citymarket and bought a chocolate bar, then I went to the video renting to return the DVD The Lovely Bones, I explained it was a day past its due time but I would pay the fee later. I took a look at the Finnish movie section, then I got out.

I was feeling wretched due to my mismatched appearance, I want to look classy rather than looking like a Romanian beggar.

I walked to the bus station, it was time for another urban adventure.

I took the bus 53 to Simonkylä and changed to the bus 611, I traveled to Kallio in Helsinki and walked along Hämeentie to the UFF thrift store I mentioned earlier; when I desire something from a peculiar shop, I like to visit the shop to see if they still have them for sale.

They had the most loveliest ankle- length Tyrolean skirts, but they didn't have one extra long black skirt with colourful trimming at the hem. I was a bit pissy about it, but they still had the lovely forget- me- not blue summer dress. I made a solid decision to buy it next week.

I took a subway train to the city center and visited the Forum shopping mall. In Hennes&Mauritz I was sweating my tits off and felt dizzy, as I always do in there. I was a bit sad to notice that they didn't have those blue nightdresses for sale anymore; I would have loved to buy one and use it as a summer dress.

I went to Backstreet, and was delighted to see that the shop assistant in charge was this lovely middle- aged woman who is almost friends with me.

I took a bus back to Myyrmäki, and once home I was very thirsty; I drank three cups of cold water to the point of having a brainfreezy.

For the rest of the evening, I just chilled. I seem to spend most of my time in front of my craptastic laptop, but I never regret it; I have lots of time to do anything else, like read, do housework or something like that. I very rarely go out for something else than just business like grocery shopping, but it doesn't matter; I don't like going out when it's still cold, in summer I am more active.

I called my mom and asked if she can buy me a proper ceiling lamp and an energy- sufficient lamp, I planned that when I come over on Sunday we can go together to Anttila in Myyrmanni. She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either.

I didn't feel like grooming myself, so while taking the necessary warm shower in the evening I brushed my teeth and washed my hands and face while showering. Two birds at one stone.

I'm following Gaborey "Precious" Sidibe on Twitter. She seems to be a sweet person.

You have probably noticed this, but I like answering to every comment left on my LJ, just to be in contact with my friends. It's nice.
  • Current Mood: cheerful cheerful
  • Current Music: Björk - Oceania