3rd July 2011

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Yesterday evening I washed my face and brushed my teeth while taking a shower. A couple of days earlier I had decided not to have a wash in the evenings, but then again I don't want to go to bed feeling, smelling and looking like crap, so I decided that I could take a shower in the evenings and have a wash meanwhile.

After going to bed, my legs felt very funny; they felt restless, almost painful at the knees and ankles, and I had to clench my muscles to make it stop. I also slept without a blanket for most of the night as it was too hot.

I had a dream I was in a mental hospital again, I had to sleep in a seclusion room and I kept asking the nurses fearfully if they are going to put me into a straight jacket. I also had a bloody quarrel with another patient; I hate the kind of dreams where I am fighting with someone.

For some reason, every morning when I'm sitting in front of my laptop, trying to clear my head from sleep, I feel shitty and think that today is going to suck. Now I have learned to cheer myself up by thinking that today won't be more or less sucky than yesterday, and besides if today sucks tomorrow will be better.

I took a shower and scrubbed myself like never before, using conditioner and peeling cream.

I made myself a breakfast, after finishing it I went out to take two bags of stuff to recycling; I'm glad I discovered a recycling bank where you can take any kind of stuff, other than clothes, such as carpets, kitchenware, toys and so on.

I went to Citymarket and bought a chocolate bar, only one as I am short on money once again. I hate it how I always run out of money before the following Tuesday, but that's the way it goes.

I have decided to start saving my money again; before the next payday I will put the last of my change into my savings account, and if I have less than 5 cents left on my deposit account I will transfer them to the savings. And also, every Tuesday when I receive 101 euros 25 cents, I will transfer one euro and 25 cents to my savings and then withdraw hundred euros.
I don't exactly like saving my money, I like spending it! But first I need to save it.

I also visited Tiimari, they have a department for party favors for children's birthday parties; bags full of plastic rings and bracelets! I have decided to buy a buttload of them, but maybe when I receive the extra welfare in 22nd day.

Me and Suvi decided that we could dress up as Harry Potter when we go see the Deadly Hallows 2 (I accidentally wrote "gallows"), I could dress up as Tonks. Until then I have already dyed my hair red, and I decided that on 12th day when I receive money, I will go buy a pair of black leather pants from UFF and a grey babydoll shirt from Hennes&Mauritz.

Once home, I ate a little chocolate and wrote to my diary, until it was time to go meet my parents. I took out the garbage and hopped onto my bicycle and rode all the way to Martinlaakso.

Both mom and dad were home, and also my brother Sami had come home for summer break. We have never been too close, and I still don't like talking to him because he's very passive- aggressive and I never seem to be able to say or do anything that won't make him explode with pent- up madness.

Mom fried some potatoes for me, I made myself a couple of cups of cocoa that made my stomach hurt and feel bloated.
I asked dad if he can fix my bureau drawer, one of the board (the one you use to pull the drawer open) fell off and it should be glued back. And also, the nozzle or whatever of my vacuum cleaner is broken (as a matter of fact it broke right after it was bought, but there's nothing a little duct tape can't fix), I can hoover with it but it causes me trouble; I asked my dad if he can buy me a new nozzle, or should I get a new vacuum cleaner?

I asked mom for a little yarn, I used it to bind my diary pages together; the ringbinder is quite bothersome as the pages keep falling off.

Me and mom left at the same time, we rode our bicycles to Myyrmäki. Once in the mall, I visited BodyShop; I noticed that some of their body butters are sold in jars that are two times the usual size, and I also decided that next week I'm going to buy a black eyeliner. The last one that was also bought from BodyShop had dried out, and I also want to learn how to apply eyeliner properly.

I went home, washed the dishes and cleaned up the bathroom.
Tomorrow I'm going to go see my own nurse. I'm going to ask her if I can see her a little more often.
  • Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
  • Current Music: Starlight Express - Make up my heart