July 14th, 2011


(no subject)

Almost every time when I go to Helsinki and stay for a long time, I start feeling not only exhausted, but frustrated and angsty. I guess it's due to low blood sugar and my brain chemistry.

Once back home, I didn't bother with having a wash, I just took my pills and changed into nighties and went to bed. I didn't even bother with washing the dishes, even though I had made a promise to wash them every evening.

I have had some sort of insomnia for a week now; I guess it is because I like to stay up late, work on my novels and refresh my Tumblr dashboard, and I end up being in such a jazzy mood that I don't get any sleep. And usually I fuel my insomnia by thinking; "Naaah, what's the point of sleeping when you don't get any sleep? Let's party!"

I got up to wash the dishes, I couldn't stand seeing them piled high on the counter. In my small compact apartment I can see the stove and the counter when I lay in my bed.
I washed the dishes and after that I downed six tranquillizers and went back to bed.

After a while I started feeling the effects; my limbs felt heavy, my body felt warm and fizzy and my breath was silent. I started having visions of stars on the dark sky and bluebells growing around, and then I realized that I might die from an overdose.

I had dreams of me and Eddie Dombrovski wreaking havoc in Silent Hill. I woke up this morning, completely unharmed.
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