November 26th, 2011


(no subject)

I had set my alarm clock to ring at nine o'clock this morning, so I would have enough time to do all the morning routines before the counselors Juha and Rami from Laturi come over.

I managed to get up before the alarm clock rang, I was happy about it.
I took a shower and tried to wash myself as well as I could, and started waiting for them. I got bored in the while, they took such a long time to arrive.

I felt peaceful, calm, a bit chilly, like everything around me was made of crystal. I didn't think I would have a schitzo attack today, but neither would I have an inspiration to do the housework.
I realized that I needed to feel frantic and warm if I wanted to do housework; I could go get some chocolate and blare music, but I didn't feel like forcing myself to do it if I didn't feel like doing it.

Just when I was about to write to my diary "it's ten minutes past noon and they're still not here", my doorbell rang.

I told Rami about my worst problems; am I ever going to get the job I applied for and how am I going to afford my chocolate addiction?
I decided to write my application for the job at KELA and send it by e- mail instantly, and that's what I did. Now all I need to do is to wait for their response.

When Juha and Rami were leaving, I went along; I visited Citymarket to buy a chocolate bar and then I went for a brisk walk.

I walked in the Pähkinärinne- Vapaala- Rajatorppa- Hämeenkylä area, once home the soles of my feet felt sore but I felt content.

I started doing housework, and I did it properly. I even managed to dust the carpets this evening, usually I do it on Sundays.
  • Current Music
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(no subject)

Sometimes I get these strange feelings when I want to be technologically creative and active; update my blog, write snarky comments or take photos and post them online. Too bad I feel like doing them, but can't get a good inspiration.

I have been thinking of posting my LiveJournal entries on my DeviantArt journal, but then again, LiveJournal is sacramental to me and I don't want to desecrate it by copypasta'ing my entries elsewhere. And besides, I have asked numerous times if my DA friends want to read my entries, but none of them has answered. I know I shouldn't rely on other people's opinions, at least not too much, but I just can't make up my mind.

I have a Blogger, but I use it for stalking. All the party is over at here.

Baw, I'm getting sentimental. I reached my 2100th entry milestone a couple of entries ago, and I'm starting to think how LiveJournal is my lifeline. I might write a short history about how I joined this site:

My best friend routaneito had an online blog at DeadJournal, I was insanely jealous and wanted one too; I had read from one of my favorite novels about a girl who had an online blog, and especially one scene from the book touched my soul; the aforementioned girl was talking to her depressed sister and recommended her to get an online journal too, "It's a very comforting thought that if you feel sad, there are teenagers in Australia who feel the same way too."

I wanted to get a free blog, but couldn't find one. Then I was recommended LiveJournal by candra whom I met on a poetry site, I had requested if someone knew about a free online blog service.

I joined LiveJournal on June 28th, 2004. It took me a while to create an account, too bad all the fab usernames such as kangaroo_girl (I had a huge obsession with Australia then) and teenage_zombie were already taken, so I had a crazy thought out of the blue and created a monstrosity named selma5678. Selma Jezkova was the name of Björk Gudmundsdottir's, the Icelandic alternative pop singer's character from the movie Dancer in the Dark.

It took me a while to get used to online life; at first I thought that if I wanted to upload a photo to my journal entry, I had to upload it to the user icons.

When I had been in the mental hospital for six months, I decided to create a new journal as I got sick of the username. I named this journal after a mythical being from India; "kattidya" is a demon witch that takes the shape of an ayah, an Indian servant and terrorizes people, some sort of a poltergeist.

LiveJournal was the first social network site I joined. Soon after DeviantArt, FaceBook and Twitter followed.

In my worst moments I have been thinking of deleting my journal, I once deleted it but returned it because I couldn't afford losing my friends who have become so close to me; I mean it, most of my FaceBook and DeviantArt friends have been my LiveJournal friends first.
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