You deserve to be healthy, safe, loved, and very happy
6th May 2015
☮ I have decided to start wearing pink glittery nail polish, along with strengthening base coat.
☮ I have been a bit down in the dumps for the past week because of my PMS. It's really harsh that use vagina- owners have to go through that every month; I don't mind the blood flow, but I hate the emotional turmoil and the need to drink galleons of water in order to keep up the balance when my body retains so much fluid.
☮ I'm growing a small mullet, like the last time I had my head shaved. I'm going to grow a long hair past my shoulders so I can wear it on plaits or pigtails, and wear bobbles and hair slides.
☮ I started knitting a sock just for the heck of it, but it failed; I accidentally dropped a stitch and knitted over it, and now the sock is coming undone. Bleh.
I have been thinking of writing my "real life" blog entries in Finnish, my native language, for a week, just to troll my readers who don't understand English xD And I have also taken up the habit of using made- up names for towns and streets and such.
This morning I woke up about at four o'clock, I got up and did the morning routines as usual. It was nice seeing the sun rise, it's something I see very rarely.
It was still too early, so I took a nap. I slept sweetly, and woke up feeling restful and refreshed.
I received money today but most of it was spent on bills that social office declined to pay. I went to the bank to withdraw the rest of the money and bought the basic food items, and I might go to social office tomorrow to apply for food stamps. If they won't accept my application, I am going to try the parish on Friday.
Later the day I had an appointment with my therapist at quarter to two o'clock in afternoon. I took the M train to Häslinki, on the train there was a blonde woman sitting in front of me, zie wore the same kind of glittery pink nail polish I have grown to love, and zie smiled at me.
I noticed that I had arrived to Häslinki a tad bit too early, so I just hung around in Kamppi shopping center and then went to the corridor in my therapist's office to wait.
I had drunk too many lattes and had the need to pee so much that I was afraid that if I farted, I would pee my pants.
Right after the last customer left, I went to ring the doorbell. Once inside, I went to the bathroom and took a massive dump, I had to clean the toilet bowl with a toilet brush.
During the appointment I just blabbed this and that, and I came to a realization that my current therapist is as stupid as my former therapist.
We made a new appointment on next Tuesday at two o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't want to head home just yet so I took a subway to Hakis and went to Girls' House, where I drank cocoa and wrote into my diary.
After I left, I took some photos of some urban beauty and miracles of spring, I might post them later.
I called my mother but hir phone was turned off, I called my parents' landline phone but no one answered. I called my dad even if I knew zie would yell hir head off at me, and told hir that I am coming to visit them later this evening to print out my account statement (I need it for applying for food stamps) and use their bicycle pump (my bicycle tires are flat and I don't have a bicycle pump of my own).
I took the bus 452 to Mole Hill, once there I went home to retrieve my bicycle. I valiantly walk- pushed it to Martin's Valley, where both mom and dad were home. Dad was tapping away on hir iPad and mom was watching TV.
I made coffee and ate whatever I could find from the fridge. I tried to print the account statement but the printer didn't feel like working, and I miraculously managed to fill the tires.
I rode my bicycle back to Mole Hill, once home I had a nice evening even if I was on the verge of tears. Nothing bad has happened, I am just an emotional wreck because of my PMS and the feeling that my parents don't love me. And also, I have increased the dose of my anti- depressants to 15 milligrams in the mornings, according to Frau doctor's orders.