June 12th, 2015


(no subject)

I had a dream about my friend Luisa, me and my family had moved into a cozy house, the inside of the house resembled the apartment where my parents live. The house was decorated by Luisa’s drawings and all kinds of amazing knick- knacks.
During the night I was attacked by a monster from the video game Silent Hill 2: Restless dreams, the monster that sprays acid from its chest. I was saved by Luisa, and even if the dream had been terrifying, it made me love my friend even more.
In another dream I lied in my old bed in my old room in my childhood home where my parents still live, my mother was sitting by the writing desk and saying something unpleasant to me, and I felt bad. It was a very realistic dream, but suddenly I opened my eyes and I was really amazed and also relieved that I was in my own home.

I tried to do the morning routines in the most scrupulous order; I rose on my tiptoes and stretched my arms and forced a smile, to exercise my muscles. Then I took my morning medicine, put on my bathrobe and made a cup of coffee. After drinking it, I brushed my teeth, took a shower, anointed my body and face with basic lotion, put on my underwear and at least attempted to exercise. I did some stretches and movements, but I was distracted by my delusions. It was really frustrating.

I wore a pair of black trousers that Suavecita gave me, and my Ramones shirt.

It was tough trying to cook a decent breakfast; I emptied a small bag of porridge flakes into a bowl and poured 1,5 deciliters of boiling water on it, and remembered that it should have been 2 deciliters. I threw the porridge away and opened a new bag, but I accidentally tore it and the flakes went flying on the kitchen counter, floor and my shirt. I said “Damn”, swept the porridge flakes onto a dustpan and poured them into the biological waste container.
Finally the breakfast was eaten.

I was feeling the cabin fever again, so I called my mom to ask her if it’s okay that I come over. She didn’t answer yet, so I hung up and went to the bathroom to take a very impressive poop. Then my cellphone rang in the middle of a pee stream, I had to hop to my backpack with my pants down.
It was my mom, she said she was in a free concert in Helsinki, and that it was okay for me to come over.

Then I started wondering if I should take the bus, but I didn’t feel like turning on my laptop to check the timetables and also didn’t feel like riding my bicycle on such a hot day. After a while of pondering, I hopped on my bicycle and rode through the Jokiuoma Park to Raappavuori.

I made coffee, wrote into my diary, surfed on the Internet.
Mom came home later, she had bought a pound of blueberries. She also noticed there was a small poop stain on the back hem of my t- shirt, and I took it off (and tried not to flash my armpit fur) and yes, it was definitely poop. I can’t help wondering why my mom has such an impressive eyesight!

I stayed a bit later until I started feeling cabin fever again, so I told my mom I was going home and that I was coming again on Sunday.

I rode my bicycle to Myyrmäki, once home I was exhausted and the delusions bothered me as they usually do, when I am exhausted.

I made coffee, wrote into my diary, and quarreled with the delusions. I had to take a tranqulizer because my speech started sounding weird.

I decided to head to the fitness center once the tranquilizer kicks in, meanwhile I looked through my closet again and found even more clothes to give away. I have decided to give away the clothes I rarely wear, and pare down my “collection” just to the essentials. I should stop being sentimental about my clothes, especially the ones I rarely wear, and find some clothes I actually like.

It was six o’clock in the evening when I headed to the fitness center.
I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for 24 minutes, then I tried most of the exercise machines but soon I lost my motivation and headed back home.
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