August 8th, 2015


Hello darkness, my old friend

I had a dream about the summer cottage again. To be honest, I have had so many dreams about the summer cottage that I am all meh about it. I no longer take the dreams as prophecies, or hints about my childhood traumas.

I also had a dream where I studied in an art college in Tampere, and after receiving my diploma I tried to return to Vantaa, and that's when the dream turned morbid.

In the last dream I was in Kannus, where my granny used to live. I was in an old house where Urban Shaman was holding a hobby group, I was painting with watercolors and suddenly started weeping, zie asked me what was wrong but I never got a change to answer because I woke up.

For the past months, I have had many dreams where I cry for no reason at all, and wake up with my face scrunched and my eyes wet, and for some reason, those dreams are the best I ever had. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.

I was awake but still wanted to lie in bed, so I tried to find a comfortable position and also held my arm over my eyes, so that the sunlight wouldn't invade my eyes.

I realized I was hungry, so I got up and ate two bananas while writing my diary, and I managed to fill it out. I wrote the “obituaries”; July 18th – August 7th, put the diary into the closet and started a new one.

I had a lot of stuff to do today; tidy up my home, go to an art show, and also write my Finnish blog since I haven't updated for three days now (le gasp!).

Right after getting clothes on, I called my mom and told her I am coming over.
I went to the bus stop where I met the silly old man who had been in Myöhätuuli, we talked a bit and zie told me that the bus 55 takes about quarter of an hour to arrive.

The bus timetables have been a bit muddled for the past month. The buses in Vantaa are going to change numbers and routes next week, and the timetables in the bus stops have already been renewed despite that the old buses are still routed. Not to mention that the digital screens are broken; the time was about 11:23 and they still showed 10:39.

Fortunately I made it to the bus 53, and once in Raappavuori, mom and dad were having lunch in their pajamas and were both in their usual mood. If my parents were animals, they would be grizzly bears because they either growl or roar all the time.

I had coffee and ate every single one of the plum tomatoes and chocolate waffles. Later the day my ‘rents went to a concert named Stadivaarirock (stadi = a slang word for downtown Helsinki, vaari = grandpa or simply a nickname for an oldie, and rock means that it was a rock concert), and I stayed for a while.

I wish my parents would drop dead as soon as possible, I hate them both.

I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, ate all the oatmeal cookies, stole a bit of change, found a returnable booze bottle from the garbage can, and went home on a bus.

Once home, I updated my Finnish blogs, created a third Finnish blog, talked on the phone with Suavecita, and then went back to my ‘rents again. They were still at the concert.

I walked home, and I was feeling moody and bitter. I wished I was a seagull; if I was hungry, I could snatch food right out of their hands, if I disliked someone, I could poop on them, and if I didn’t like where I was, I could fly somewhere else.

Once home, I took my evening medicine and drew the curtains. I want to do housework, but I am too busy blogging. It’s like a parent telling their kid; “Now listen, you cannot do your homework before you have played your videogames!”

Tomorrow I am going to Taidehalli (“art hall”) to see a Julian Opie art show, I hope I can have an access with Museum Card.
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My best friend is dropdead gorgeous lady babe, and I am a sweet and cute cinnamon roll :3

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This photo reminds me of how I wore a crash helmet while bicycling in third grade, and a boy in the same class told me I look like a "potty head" while he had a "potty haircut" :D

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I look so pretty :3

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That's Roki, our friend

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Jofa, Suavecita's dog :)