18th November 2015


Daily deeds

Food intake:
- Three iced lattes
- A bar of Marabou Japp chocolate (my new vice)
- Pretzel sticks at Pinky's
- An orange jelly candy picked from the Mental Health Fair

Money spending:
- My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Pinkie Pie Water Cutie Mark Magic figure
- The iced lattes and chocolate bar
- Spotify Premium 1 Month gift card
- Two sports brassieres
- Pair of black Sloggi Maxi panties
- Pair of black cotton tights
- Two tubes of organic, fluoride free toothpaste

- Facial muscle exercise in the evening

Good deeds:
- Told a tattooed lady that her face tattoos were gorgeous
- Visited Globe Hope store and told the salesperson that their products were amazing
- Saw a woman with the same kind of Pinkie Pie plush keyring and complimented her on it
- Helped my friend Pinky with her housework
- Planned to write people letters to cheer them up, because I receive mostly just bills or ads in the mail

- Hoovered the floor
- Kept windows open to let fresh air in
- Washed my new spray bottle (the inside of it smelled like plastic)
- Scrubbed the toilet bowl
- Replaced the face & hand towels
- Also helped a friend with housework
  • Current Mood: hyper hyper
  • Current Music: Cats the musical - Bustopher Jones, a cat about town

I had a dream where Pokémons and Moomins were real, there were plenty of ripe fruits growing everywhere, and I rode my bicycle through Martinlaakso. In another dream I was in my junior high, watching a school play where three dudes dressed up as those dancing skeletons from Dia De Los Muertos.
I also had the usual erotic nightmares. Then I woke up.

My first thought was to sleep all the way to the afternoon, but then I remembered that today I received money.

I got up and used my Lumia to log in to the online bank service, I had received 85 euros.

I had run out of toothpaste, so I only washed my face and dabbed some basic lotion on it, dressed up, and then I was off to the bank.

I withdrew every single euro from my bank account, then I went to Myyrmanni shopping center and visited Life to buy two tubes of fluoride- free organic toothpaste.
I went to Ärrä and bought a Spotify gift card, it’s the only way I can pay for my Premium account because for some reason or other, Spotify doesn’t accept my Visa Electron.
I had plenty of food already, so I only bought a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Pinkie Pie Water Cutie Mark Magic figure, the kind that is hollow and has water and glitter inside.

I also bought a pair of sports brassieres to wear in the gym, a pair of black cotton tights, a pair of black Sloggi Maxi panties, and something else I can’t remember right now.

Once back home, I took the water cutie out of its package and put it on my writing desk along with the other artefacts, took the underwear out of their packages and into the laundry basket, and then I decided to go to the Mental Health Fair. I had received a free ticket from the psychiatric clinic.

I took the I train to Helsinki, then the tram 4 to Wanha Satama, once there I didn’t feel like staying long because I was in a grumpy mood.
I walked to the city center, took the P train to Myyrmäki, on the way there Elyseé called me and asked me if she and Pinky can come visit me. I said no, I was in Helsinki, and invited them both to my birthday party.

Once home, I grumbled to myself and then called Elyseé, she said she was at Pinky’s home and asked if I want to come over. I immediately perked up, and went to see her.

We had a nice afternoon, talking and laughing about things and stuff, I also helped Pinky with housework; I tidied up her kitchen, washed her dishes, and promised her I am going to visit her in December and give her apartment a good scrubbing. She was very happy and thanked me many times. I love helping people <3

Pinky was heading to a happening of some kind, Elyseé said she was tired and wanted to go to her home, we hugged each other and I headed back home, but visited Myyrmanni first.

Once back home, I was in a happier mood. I scrubbed the toilet bowl, hoovered the floor, replaced the hand & face towels, and did random odd jobs around my home, like a crazy Xmas spirit.

My calendar says that tomorrow I have to wash my hair, I will also have a therapy session at 2:15 pm. I might also go to the Girls’ House.

On Friday I absolutely have to go to the gym, my body is craving for endorphins.
On Friday I will also receive the monthly allowance; usually I receive it on 22nd day each month but since November 22nd 2015 is going to fall on Sunday, I will receive it on Friday.
I will use the money to stock up on my hygiene products from eco- markets like Ekolo, which resides in Hakaniemi right next to Girls House, and Ruohonjuuri right next to Kamppi shopping center. I will buy four pump- action bottles of hand soap, two for my bathroom and two for kitchen; two bottles of shampoo; soap bars, I use them to wash my body when showering; dishwashing brushes and those replaceable brush heads that are biodegradable; sponges for scrubbing; biodegradable dishcloths made from the same sponge material; four Humble Brush toothbrushes; trash bags for household waste and biological waste; Fair Trade cotton swabs and ear picks; four bottles of fluoride free organic toothpaste; I also need to buy an advent calendar, I am thinking about buying a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic calendar from BR Lelut.

On Saturday, along with the usual housework, I am going to go to a feminist comic workshop and a meditation class.

On Sunday, I will have another hair- washing day, and I am also going to visit my parents.
  • Current Mood: content content
  • Current Music: Weird Al Yankovic - Bohemian polka

I don't know why I get these weird feelings. Just a moment ago I was feeling very jazzy and also quite neutral, and all of a sudden I feel like I am drowning in cold, dark water. Then I feel bitter and grumpy.

I should probably do the evening routines and go to bed, but it's too early and besides, I still feel too jazzy to fall asleep.

I have decided to stop using Ketipinor as a tranquilizer. I take three 25 mg tablets every evening, my doctor also told me I can use it as a tranquilizer when needed. On Monday evening I took five of them because I was experiencing mania, and it didn't help but on Tuesday afternoon I practically fell asleep on my feet and had to take a two- hour nap, so basically it took about 20 hours before the tranquilizers took effect.

I know that food is actual healthcare, medicine is sickcare. I need to eat the right mixture of nutrients in order to maintain my physical and mental health, too bad that healthy food is very expensive these days, and I have very low appetite. I have days when I eat practically nothing, and I still don't feel hungry. Not to mention that I don't have a proper daily routine; I usually have breakfast when everyone else is having lunch.
  • Current Mood: confused confused
  • Current Music: Queen - Who wants to live forever

I had a really hard time trying to fall asleep, I kept on waking up between hours and feeling bitter and miserable. It has happened a few nights before, despite that I don’t have coffee at my home anymore.

I also had nightmares, I was in a college for young kids or a grade school for twenty- somethings, and I was bullied by the other students. No one took me seriously, and I was blamed for bullying the bullies first and that’s why they were allowed to bully me back. It actually happened to me in grade school.

In another dream I was in this vast building which was full of gamer boys, I was the only girl around there. I ran away from video game monsters, and soon I was lost in Helsinki, and had to use the GPS in my mobile phone to get home.

In another dream I was visiting my old junior high. The school was closed years ago, including the small apartment houses next to it, the windows and doors are boarded up and there’s litter and graffiti everywhere.

I got up at midday, took my morning medicine, dressed up and used my mobile phone to log in to the online bank service. Yep, I had received money, 108 euros and 85 cents.

I surfed on Tumblr for a bit, and then I went to the bank. I withdrew every single penny, and then went to Ärrä to buy an iced latte, then to Arnold’s Coffee and Bakery Shop to buy a stuffed bagel, for impromptu brunch because I hadn’t eaten a breakfast.

I took the bus 560 to Mellunmäki, then the subway to Hakaniemi, and visited Ekolo to buy two pump- action bottles of hand soap. I also got a discount card from there, the kind that is stamped each time you buy products for over 20 euros.

I walked to the city center, and was a bit amazed I could walk such a long way. I visited Body Shop in Forum shopping center, to buy a nail buffer and two bars of soap.
I visited Ruohonjuuri and bought a huge amount of hygiene products; four toothbrushes, two tubes of toothpaste, two packets of cotton swabs, two bottles of shampoo, and another two bottles of hand soap. I have formed a habit of stocking on hygiene products, so I won’t run out of them too soon.

I hauled my bags to the train station and took the P train to Myyrmäki.
Once back home, I put my purchases to the kitchen cupboard.

In the afternoon I ran into some problems with LiveJournal, which I won’t mention, and no matter how well I tried to fix it, it didn’t work, so I created a new account. Hope it won’t do this again.

I was feeling really frustrated and it triggered my bad memories which triggered my delusions, and I decided to head to the gym to burn off some excess energy.

Once at the gym, I went by the same routine; I walked on the treadmill for twenty minutes on the Manual setting, then four minutes on the Cool Down setting. Then I used each available exercise machine.

Once back home, I felt like I hadn’t been at the gym at all.

Tomorrow I am going to do the weekly housework, and on Sunday I am going to go see my parents.
  • Current Mood: weird weird
  • Current Music: Queen - Another one bites the dust