November 28th, 2015


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Last night I was feeling blue, once again. I thought that I would give up anything to feel happy, the way I did when I moved into this apartment where I currently live.
I realized that, at least for me, happiness isn’t the absence of problems, it’s a spark of hope inside my soul that helps me to cope with problems. It’s the feeling that no matter what happens in my life, as far as I have that spark of hope, everything will be turn alright.
Now that spark of hope has been extinguished, and I don’t know how to relight it again.
But hey, Xmas is coming, and I will also be 27 years old on December 28th. And then begins a new year, with hopes and promises.

I slept quite well and had nice enough dreams. I got up before midday, took the sheets off my bed and put them into the laundry basket, took my morning medicine, brushed my teeth, took a shower and washed my hair, dressed up, surfed on the Internet, and decided to go without breakfast.

For some reason, I got a crick in my lower back. It has happened before, the last time it happened was when I went to see my grandmother.
I remember I simply stood up from the sofa when I was putting on my tights, and then I hurt my back. I better consult my doctor about it.

I called my mom and asked her if I can come over, she said it was okay. I also asked for a bit of a grocery money, she said she will give me 20 euros.
It’s so ridiculously easy to pilfer money from my mom, but I think I shouldn’t do it so often, otherwise she will become suspicious. Not to mention that I should learn to make do on my own, and it’s not fair towards my dear old mummy, despite that she is upper middle class, she needs her money too.

I took the bus 574 to Raappavuori, once there I took along the money she had left and made a cup of coffee. Mom and dad had gone grocery shopping.

I walked to the Martinlaakso bus station and caught the bus 565 to Myyrmäki. I enjoyed looking at the sky, it was partially blue, and the wind felt cool and nice on my face.
I visited Citymarket and bought two packets of tissues, I need them now that the cold season is coming and it makes my nose run like a tap.

Once back home, I put the purchases to their rightful places, and then started tidying up my apartment like every weekend. I rolled up the carpet and throw rugs and put them into the balcony, hoovered and mopped the floor including from under the furniture.
I also scrubbed the bathroom, washed three loads of laundry, and swabbed the kitchen counter. I also kept the kitchen window open to let fresh air in.

I will keep my mattress, pillow, and blanket on the balcony for the night, to get them aired and freshened. Tonight I will sleep on the sofa- bed.

Tomorrow I will go see my parents, I will ride my bicycle there to give a little exercise to my bad back, and after visiting them I will go to the gym and work out as usual; walk on the treadmill for half an hour and then use the exercise machines.
Once back home, I will do the rest of the housework; take my carpet and my mattress out to dust it, take out the recycling, and swab the writing desk.
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My plans for Monday, November 30th - December 6th

Monday, November 30th:
I will do the rest of the housework I didn’t do on the weekend.
My ASPA worker will visit me in the afternoon.
I will go to Girls’ House for the rest of the evening.
If I manage, I will go to the swim hall.

Tuesday, December 1st:
Hair- washing day.
I will go see my mother.
I will go to Myöhätuuli youth group at four o’clock in the afternoon.

Wednesday, December 2nd:
I will receive the weekly allowance. I will pay a bill, and then go to the bank to withdraw the rest of the money.
The first thing to do is to go to Citymarket to buy enough basic food items to make do for next Wednesday.
I will also buy a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic advent calendar from BR Lelut, a toy shop.
I will do the same housework I do every Wednesday; hoover the floor and scrub the toilet bowl. If I didn’t manage to do housework on the weekend or Monday, I will do them today.
In the evening I will go to the gym and work out as usual.

Thursday, December 3rd:
I will go to the swim hall.
If I have enough money left by now, I will go to Kinopalatsi to see a movie named Hevisaurus.

Friday, December 4th:
Tax refund day, this year I will receive only about twenty euros but it’s better than nothing.
I will have another hair- wash day.

Saturday, December 5th:
I will tidy up my apartment.
Me and Suavecita will go to our friend Heidi’s Xmas party.

Sunday, December 6th:
It will be the 95th Independence day of Finland.
I will go visit my parents. My dad promised to give me “Xmas money”, 100 euros like every first weekend on December.