December 16th, 2015


On the 16th day of December...

Last night I was so down in the dumps that I felt like my whole body was aching with sorrow. Sheesh. Sometimes I hate my feelings, especially when they bother me for no reason at all.
It’s like in that Disney*Pixar movie Inside Out, if my feelings were personified, they surely enjoy fucking up my life; Joy makes me laugh for no reason at all, even in the middle of a street; Sadness makes me wake up with tears streaming down my face; Anger makes me blow a fuse about trivial things; Fear makes me be afraid of going out of my own apartment; and Disgust makes me feel ill when I eat something that’s not chocolate.

I had a dream where I was being treated in a mental ward that was much like the Kuortti mansion, which is actually a holiday resort. There was an anorexic girl who was forced to eat chicken eggs, both boiled and fried.
There was also this dark- skinned boy, he looked like a teenager even if he was as old as me, I fell in love with him. We had the same secret, we could turn into giant birds like Howl from the Studio Ghibli movie Howl’s moving castle. The boy I loved turned into a huge black bird, and I was a huge green bird. We flew together by a lakeshore and tried to stop a shopping center being constructed right slap bang on the beach.
The fight wore us out, and the boy told me to leave him lying on the forest floor; I picked him up on my arms and carried him back to the mansion.

I also had a dream where me and the boy who had grown into a handsome man, we were engaged and went to an aquarium together. When I saw the dolphins, I started crying because they were innocent creatures in capture, and I almost woke up weeping.

I actually woke up, went to the bathroom to take a whizz and then went back to bed.

I woke up again when my alarm clock rang to remind me that me and Suavecita were supposed to meet in Horror Shop at eleven o’clock in the morning, when I am usually sleeping. I wrung myself up from the bed, took my morning medicine and dressed up.

I used my smart phone to log in to the online bank service. Yep, I had received money.

I went to the bank to withdraw the money, and then visited S- Market to buy a bar of Marabou Japp chocolate, a bar of Fazer whole- nut chocolate for Pärkele, and a couple of iced espressos.

I went to the library to drink the espressos and write into my diary, then I took the bus 39 to Konala. It was a short journey, but walking there would have taken a long time.

Suavecita was waiting for me, talking with Pärkele; we both had bought him chocolate, but he had to decline because he was on a liquid diet for health reasons.
We talked about things and stuff, laughed a lot, and I had to use the bathroom because I had a horrid need to poop. It’s always the same when I drink coffee to an empty stomach.
I still remember how orgastic I felt when I was a kid and had to take a dump; this time I almost moaned “Oh sweet Lord, yes!”

Suavecita drove us to Myyrmäki on her car, we went to my home and brought along some of her old clothes and shoes and stuff that we could give away to our friends on our birthday bash on Saturday.

We looked at some of my baby photos on Facebook, and then I had to poop again. Suavecita wondered if I had diarrhea.

I brushed my teeth because I had not done it in the morning.
Then we went to Myyrmanni, Suavecita treated both of us to a lunch buffet in a Chinese restaurant named Kulta Leopardi. I ate two portions of sushi with plenty of soya sauce, and then I was already full but at least I didn’t feel like pooping again.

We hung around for a while, visited Citymarket where I bought another artefact; My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic water cutie named Lily Blossom.

I also bought two diaries from a stationery shop. Then me and Suavecita went to the train station, we were on our way to Helsinki. I sat on a bench and Suavecita sat on my lap, and we shared a hearty laugh.

Once in the train, we saw a passenger with a black dog that looked very much like a terrier. We sat on the same booth or whatevs they are called, and the dog sniffed and kissed us. The owner told us the dog’s name is Jimi, and he is part Rottweiler.

Once in Helsinki, we visited BodyShop where I bought a tube of seaweed- infused face cleaner and a wooden comb. Then we took the tram number 3 to Viiskulma, and went to one of our favorite shops named Garageland which is a 50’s memorabilia shop.

Suavecita bought a pair of Dickies, and I bought two canvas patches.
We visited a candy shop named Roobertin Herkku, Suavecita bought some salmiakki. I am not a big fan of any other candy than chocolate, but I enjoy pilfering candy from my friends.
We went to a design clothing shop named Urban Ears. Suavecita bought me three pairs of socks as a birthday present. Then we went to a thrift shop on Iso- Roobertinkatu, and I bought a black cotton nightie with a picture of Wagner the pig lying on a sofa with “Elämä on ihanaa!” (life is wonderful) on it.

I was feeling tired and hungry, so I told Suavecita I am going home. She wanted to shop a bit longer, so once in the Eliel Square, we hugged each other and went our own ways.

I took the bus 421 to Raappavuori, and went to visit my parents’ home. There was plenty of mail, newspapers and bills and flyers and Xmas cards, I put them into their rightful places and drank two cups of coffee and then went out.

I still had money left, so once in Myyrmäki I visited Citymarket to buy a new wall calendar for the next year. It was made after the Finnish book/movie Mielensäpahoittaja, which is about a grumpy old man who has to move to Helsinki from the countryside. Buying the calendar raises an amount of money for charitable purposes, for mentally ill people.
I went home in high spirits, put the stuffs in their rightful places, treated myself to some chocolate, washed laundry, and marked January’s important dates on my new calendar.
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