December 27th, 2015


(no subject)

Last night when I went to bed, I had a headache. I took a painkiller but it made my headache even worse.
I felt a strange longing to go back to my parents’ home where I had spent the Xmas, even if it didn’t feel so special this year.

Today I woke up with a horrid headache, and I went to the bathroom to throw up a couple of times. I managed to produce some acrid bile, because my stomach was empty.
I really have no idea why I was so sick, I don’t have any food allergies and I don’t drink alcohol so I wasn’t hungover.
Those kind of achy- pukey days have happened before when I have overslept, but I have overslept almost every day of this month without getting sick.

Later the day I got up when it was already dark outside, and looked at my smartphone to check the time; it was ten past five o’clock in the evening, I had thought it would have been something between eight or eleven o’clock.
I had miraculously got better, I didn’t feel achy or pukey anymore, so I called my mom and asked her if I can come over for the rest of the evening. She said it was okay.

I brushed my hair and dabbed lotion on my face. The skin between my nose and upper lip was flaky and dry, and there were tiny scabs on my lips where I had picked off the dry skin.

I put on my pink Dirndl dress with a grey Ramones shirt over it, and also wore a gold- plated penguin- shaped pendant with a real piece of aquamarine piece of seashell, I got it from my friend Schlitzie as an Xmas present a few years ago.

I took the bus 571 to Raappavuori, once in my parents’ home my brother had gone back to his own home, dad was drinking some flu remedy, and mom had just got up from her nap.

I brewed some coffee and ate chocolate, and I felt my molars sting. I guess I have cavities in them, I better book an appointment for a dentist’s check- up next year.

Me and my mother talked about an article in the newspapers, it was about Xmas carols that had moved people into tears. I told her that when I was a kid, the Xmas carol Maa on niin kaunis (Finnish for “The Earth is so beautiful”) made me feel so emotional that I had locked myself into our walk- in closet to cry my poor eyes out.
My mom told me that she had watched a document about a poor mother of four young children who had immigrated into another country, taking along nothing but her children and a new coffee pot. Her husband had sent her a letter, telling her he will come home after the war, and so he did, in a coffin. Mom told me that she had imagined herself with me and my big brother and losing her husband, and I hoped she won’t start crying.
Nothing makes me feel as bad as seeing a loved one cry.

I left at seven o’clock in the evening, hugged and kissed my both parents and told them I will probably visit them tomorrow.

I intended to take the bus 565 to Myyrmäki, but the bus 571 arrived earlier.

Once home, I felt alright and kind of content. I surfed on the Internet, put on my jammies, and at eight o’clock in the evening I took my evening medicine.

For some reason or other, the delusions started bothering me and I started arguing with them. Later I learned that it was because I hadn’t taken my morning medicine.

I still have some money left, a note of fifty euros that my grandmummy sent to me.
I have decided to go see the movie Onnelin ja Annelin talvi. If the eco- market Ruohonjuuri is open tomorrow, I will go there to use the discount coupon I received when I bought the keeper. I will buy coconut oil, I will use it to spice my breakfast porridge.

I have decided to stop using shop- bought shampoo, from now on I will make my own shampoo instead. I’m going to wash my hair once or twice a week with baking soda mixed with a cup of warm water, and rinse them with apple cider vinegar also mixed with a cup of warm water and perhaps a few drops of essential lavender oil. I need to buy those ingredients as well.
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My plans for Monday, December 28th - Sunday, January 3rd

Monday, December 28th:
It’s my 27th birthday! My ASPA worker will visit me at half past two o’clock in the afternoon. I am going to run some errands and finish the rest of the weekly housework.

Tuesday, December 29th:
Nothing special yet. I will probably go visit my mother and go to some art museums.

Wednesday, December 30th:
I will receive money. The first thing to do today is to pay for my monthly Netflix subscription, and then go to the bank to withdraw the rest of the money, and buy the weekly groceries.
If I have money left, I will buy one notebook, one article of clothing, one piece of jewellery, one gift for a friend, and something from Horror Shop.
If I can afford it, I will go to movies to see Onnelin ja Annelin talvi.

Thursday, December 31st:
Nothing special yet.

Friday, January 1st:
I will go visit my parents for most of the day. Because the shops, art museums, libraries and such are closed, I won’t have anything special to do.

Saturday, January 2nd:
I will do the weekly housework.

Sunday, January 3rd:
I will go visit my parents.

(no subject)

I woke up early in the morning after having really bizarre dreams. It was still dark outside.
I fell back asleep and had another extremely bizarre dream, after waking up I decided to get up immediately because I didn’t feel like having my mind fucked up because of the dreams.

I took my morning medicine, brushed my teeth, washed my face, dressed up into a punky t- shirt and a pair of pyjama pants, and surfed on the Internet for most of the morning. I didn’t bother with breakfast or working out or beginning to do the housework I do every weekend.

I noticed I had received a virtual gift from my friend sweetcarolanne, a cute magic pony named Blinkie! You can go check it out in my profile.

I decided to call my mother and ask her if I can come over to visit them, she said yes. I have agreed with my mother that I will visit them after noon on days when I go visit them, but then again, it was only eleven o’clock and I didn’t feel like waiting. And mom already said it was okay.

When I went out, I noticed that it was an absolutely beautiful sunny day outside, and it was also very cold and there was powdery snow on the ground.

I took the bus 335 to Raappavuori, once in my parents’ home I helped mom with loading the dishwasher, and popped to Alepa to buy two liters of milk.

I ate some chocolates and drank coffee, later the day my parents went grocery shopping and I decided to leave.

I had to do some discreet shopping today with the money I had received from my grandmummy as an Xmas present.
I was thinking about going to Myyrmanni shopping center, but while waiting for the next bus to Myyrmäki, the bus 421 to Helsinki arrived first so I went there.
I visited my favorite eco- market in Kamppi, I bought two wooden dishwashing brushes and four replaceable brush heads that are biodegradable as well.
I was thinking of visiting a fancy dress shop named Aprilli right next to the eco- market, I wanted to buy a pair of 70’s sunglasses, but the aforementioned shop is closed on Sundays. I really need sunglasses because the snow reflects sunlight and makes my eyes hurt.
I went to the supermarket on Eliel Square to buy a tube of honey, a bottle of apple cider vinegar, and a packet of baking soda. I found a pair of sunglasses but they cost almost 20 euros and it was too much for my budget.

I took the P train to Myyrmäki, once home I flossed my teeth and brushed them (I have taken up the habit of brushing my teeth three times a day, and using dental floss on the second time).
I also washed my hair with the baking soda, I mixed it with warm water in a measuring cup. I wetted my hair and poured the mixture into my hair, massaging it in, but it proved to be such a fuss. I felt it sting in the small scabs in my scalp and in the hangnails of my fingers, there was baking soda everywhere in the bathroom, but at least my hair looked really neat and clean.
I decided to keep on using organic shampoo because baking soda proved really hard to use as shampoo. And besides, I don’t think organic, natural, cruelty- free shampoos are any more toxic than the regular ones.

I hoovered and mopped the visible part of the floor, washed a load of laundry, and then I decided to have a break. I called my mom and asked her if it’s okay that I visit again, she said yes and didn’t sound tired or angry.

It was getting dark outside, and I felt guilty for not going for a walk since it had been such a blessed day. I miss the warm days when it was grey and rainy and I didn’t feel guilty for staying inside all day.

I took the bus 571 to Raappavuori, once in my parents’ home everything was alright. I ate some chocolates and drank coffee and wrote into my diary, and kissed and hugged both of my momsie and dadsicle goodbye and told them I will visit next week.

I took the bus 565 to Myyrmäki and went to Myyrmanni shopping center to spend time, and what do you know, I felt my old friend Creepy Moment returning; it’s when my blood sugar gets so low I start hallucinating.
It’s been years when I got the last Creepy Moment on the exact day when I moved into this apartment.

I tried to keep it cool and visited a few shops to look at stuff, then I went home and managed to hoover and mop the floor under the furniture, and wash three loads of laundry; first the towels and bed sheets, then underwear and other important textiles, and then regular clothes.

I am going to sleep on the sofa- bed tonight because my mattress, pillow, and blanket are on the balcony getting aired. Actually I’m glad the temperature is below zero tonight, it will kill the bed bugs if there are some.

I will be 27 years old tomorrow, and I feel so young!
I don’t know if my ASPA worker is going to visit me, but I am going to run some errands; I need to take my phone bill to the social office, recycle empty bottles, and continue doing housework. I need to scrub the bathroom, swab the writing desk and kitchen counters, take out the recycling, and take my carpet and mattress out to dust them.
It’s been months ever since the last time I dusted the carpet, so I better dust it now, and I also need to take it to Mattolaituri to have it cleaned, it’s a dry cleaner that specialises in carpets and such. The white stripes of the carpet have turned yellowish, and it also smells a bit unpleasant.
Girls’ House isn’t open until January 11th, but I hope that Amos Anderson art museum will be open tomorrow so I can go there.
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