January 6th, 2016


(no subject)

Last night I managed to do all the evening routines in proper order, but I couldn’t get sleep so I got up and pottered around my apartment, doing random odd jobs. I felt really miserable, but soon I started feeling better.

I went to bed and wrote random scribbles into my diary: “Can’t sleep… do androids dream of electric sheep?... Still can’t sleep… Do cats eat bats? Do bats eat cats?... I wish I could sleep…” Then I realized that I should just put my diary aside, turn off the lamp on my bedside table, lie down and close my eyes.
Then I remembered that I had set my smartphone’s alarm clock to ring because I had mixed up the days; I thought that tomorrow would be Thursday when I go to a hobby group which starts at two o’clock in the afternoon. I turned the alarm off, and fell asleep.

I had nice dreams and I was glad that my alarm clock didn’t wake me up. Then I had the usual dreams about being stark naked in a public place and wanting to buy stuff I can’t afford.
I also had a dream where I almost lost my teddy bear, when I woke up I snuggled into the aforementioned teddy bear and felt even more affectionate towards it.

I got up when I received mail, and noticed it was another of those goddamn Turkish pizza fliers. I receive them about twice a week, despite that there’s a sticker on my door saying “Ei mainoksia kiitos”! (no ads please!) but of course, those who deliver them don’t understand Finnish language.

I didn’t bother with the morning routines, I just took my morning medicine and dabbed some lotion onto the right corner of my mouth because it has started to scab.

I threw on some clothes, and decided to go see my parents as I had promised to do today.
I caught the bus 571 to Raappavuori and called my mom to tell her I am coming over. She said it’s okay.

It was a beautiful sunshine outside, but I barely noticed it because it was bitterly cold. To be honest, I actually wish that the winter weather would continue being plus ten degrees warm with no snow, the coldness almost scared me and it was hard to walk without slipping on ice.

Once in my parents’ home, my dad was his usual morose himself. I can’t help but be worried about him, it seems like something is bothering him, like he’d be depressed. I know it’s none of my business and that a grown man like him can take care of himself, and if I asked him he would only get angry at me.

Me and mother took the Xmas decorations off and put them away.
We had coffee and plum tarts.

I noticed that I find it hard to eat because my already fucked up mental health makes my relationship with food very complicated. Here’s to hoping I won’t develop an eating disorder.

After a while, I decided to leave. I looked at the bus timetables, and decided to take the next bus 565. I managed to drink two cups of joe while waiting, and then I hugged and kissed my mom goodbye and left.
The bus 571 arrived earlier, so I took it to Myyrmäki.

Myyrmanni shopping center was open today, even if it was a holiday. Usually Finnish shops are open on Epiphany because that’s when Russian tourists come to Finland for a shopping trip to celebrate it because in their homecountry, it's a big holiday.
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