January 18th, 2016


I missed writing into my LiveJournal ;n;

🍓 I am pretty sure my mom hates me. And my dad hates me as well. My brother has hated me ever since I was born.
Fortunately my grandmother loves me.

🍊 I don't know why, but sometimes when I sit in front of my laptop in my apartment, I get the smell of rust in my nose. And sometimes I can smell my vaginal odor, it's something like warm bread. I also enjoy rubbing my fingers into my boobs and smelling them.

🍉 I picked my nose so hard I got a nosebleed, the blood practically gushed out of my nose. I had to shove a tampon into my left nostril to stop the bloodflow.

💎 I don't feel like watching Doctor Who anymore, Netflix doesn't have the episode where the 10th Doctor regenerates into the 11th one. And also, Netflix suddenly deleted every single season of Supernatural except the seventh and eighth one. I wish they didn't because I was really enjoying watching the show while knitting.
I also wish there was a way to see the old Doctor Who episodes, the ones starting with the first Doctor all the way to the Eighth Doctor. And preferably with Finnish, or at least English subtitles.

🎨 I bought a pair of Care Bears pyjama pants today, tomorrow I am buying a My Little Pony duvet set. I don't know how to adult. Please don't make me adult.

🍁 I haven't gone to the gym for a while, I have all these small projects that take up all my time. It's so weird, at least I realize how important it is to take care of yourself, but actually living a healthy life has proved to be a challenge.


🐚 I have decided to give up consuming nutritional supplements. I have been taking them for a long time, they never helped me and actually I have heard that they cause a myriad of health problems.

💝 I wish my original LJ friends, Anni and Karla and others, would still update their blogs because I miss them. But then again, I understand that they probably won't return to LJ simply because of me.

🐠 Today I managed to wash the dishes, take the laundry off the drying rack and fold them and put them into my closet, and also go shopping.

(no subject)

As far as I think so, my life would be so amazingly awesome if I wasn't so anxious and depressed and triggered all the time. I don't know if it's good or not.

Every now and then I have nightmares of being dead. Not exactly dying, but after death.
Ever since I was a kid, I have had those nightmares of lying in a cold, dark grave for an eternity.
I am afraid of what happens to me when I pass away, if there is life after death. Or in my case, if there is life BEFORE death; to be honest, I am happy as a welfare leech who eats chocolate all day and wears pajama pants in public, rather than studying and working.