March 20th, 2016



I slept the night between Friday and Saturday on the sofa- bed again. I change my bed sheets every second weekend, and that’s also when I leave my mattress, blanket and pillow on the balcony for the night to freshen them, and later take them out to dust them.

I slept well, except when the sun rose I had another of those nightmares about death; I realized that there’s no way of escaping death, and that I have to lie cold and still in a grave for an eternity.

I fell back asleep, had all kinds of dreams, and got up in the afternoon at two o’clock.

I took my morning medicine, had a wash and dressed up, while surfing on the Internet I started feeling really sleepy, and took a long nap, for about five hours. I guess I still had some sleep debt after staying up for many hours for past week’s nights.

After getting up, I went to Citymarket in Myyrmanni shopping center, I returned some empty bottles and bought a big can of milk. Once back home, I drank so much coffee that I could feel my head spin, even if it was decaffeinated.

In the evening I watched Doctor Who on Netflix, and also a bit of the movie Sharkboy & Lava- girl. I took a shower, and went to bed in time.

I had a dream about my elementary school, the summer cottage, the movie I had watched, Jokiuoma park, celebrating Xmas, and woke up with a terrible headache.

It was about eleven o’clock in the morning, when I got up. I took my morning medicine, brushed my teeth, had a wash, and dressed up. I checked my e- mails and scrolled through my Facebook feed and Tumblr dashboard.
I felt a bit out of place, I didn’t feel like doing anything but surfing on the Internet. I felt as if my brains were connected to my laptop, it was like a life- support system.

I went to see my parents, I called my mother on the way and told her I am coming over.

Once in my parents’ home, mom was cooking lunch and dad was at the gym.
I nommed on some of the Easter candy, chocolate eggs and jelly beans, drank coffee and ate whatever I found from the kitchen.

Later the day I went back home, I walked all the way and felt very light and easy.
Once back home, I did some housework; I took the laundry off the drying rack and folded it neatly and put it to the cupboard, and also ironed some laundry and washed another load.

I went to see my parents again today, they were doing alright. Mom went grocery shopping, I talked to my dad a bit.

Later the day after mom came home, I went back to my own respective home.

Once back home, I took my mattress out to dust it. It was easier said than done, I was in a terrible mood and the delusions kept on bothering me.

I decided to keep a break, drink a little coffee and do the rest of the housework tomorrow.

I washed a load of laundry and called my grandmother, we had a nice talk. I love her so much.
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Monday, March 21st:
My ASPA worker Kaarina will visit me at half past two o’clock in the afternoon.
I will go to Amos Anderson art museum to check out the new exhibition, then I will go to Girls’ House.
I will do the rest of the weekly housework.

Tuesday, March 22nd:
I will receive the monthly allowance.
I will have an appointment at the psychiatric clinic at noon.
After that, I will go to the dressmaker’s to fetch my mended dress, and give them another to be mended.
I will go to Citymarket to buy a new blanket and a new pair of slippers that I asked the shop assistant to set aside for me.
I will go to Horror Shop and give Pärkele an Easter card and some Easter treats.
After three o’clock in the afternoon, I will go to Helsinki and meet my friend Mirette, we shall go to a restaurant.
I don’t know yet if I will go to Myöhätuuli youth group in the evening, I would love to but I don’t know if I have the time. In the evening I need to wash my new blanket in the laundry, and take it to the downstairs drying room.

Wednesday, March 23rd:
I will receive the weekly allowance.
At three o’clock in the afternoon, I will go to a hairdresser to have the dry tops of my hair strands cut off. I might also ask them for some kind of treatment for my dry scalp.
I will leave my blanket on the balcony for the night, so it will freshen up.

Thursday, March 24th:
I will go to movies to see Deadpool.

Friday, March 25th:
It will be Good Friday, which is a bank holiday in Finland as well. I will probably go visit my parents, and do some housework.

Saturday, March 26th:
Nothing special yet. I will probably go visit my parents again.
Sunday, March 27th:
It will be Daylight Savings Time in Finland, so I will turn my clocks an hour forward.
I will go visit my parents.