May 17th, 2016

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Monday:
I went to Girls’ House with Elyseé. I also met their partner, they seemed like a very lovely person. I am happy for both of them.

Tuesday:
I started a new diary, it’s one of those Extra Large Geepap diaries.
I had another of these pesky meetings at the psychiatric center with my mother, my nurse Saija, the occupational therapist, the psychologist, the doctor, my ASPA worker and a nurse student. My mother cried her eyes out and I almost cried as well, but mostly the things the workers said about me were positive.
In the afternoon I went to Myöhätuuli hobby group.
I went to the gym in the evening, I managed to walk full 30 minutes on the treadmill. I also decided not to use the hand weights anymore, because I can exercise my arms when using the exercise machines. I should also take up the habit of doing some simple stretches before starting to exercise.

Wednesday:
I got my period. I still need to learn the proper technique of using a MoonCup.
I received money, I paid bills and bought groceries.
I went to a sushi restaurant with Elyseé, Suavecita and Eleclya. I ate lots of sushi and honeydew melon, and learned that coffee tastes better with cream instead of milk.
Later the day I recharged my travel card, and went shopping to Myyrmanni shopping center.
From the stationery shop I bought a gift for Elyseé, I won’t spoil what it is in case you are reading this, sweetie darling ^_^ I also bought a set of ten first class postage stamps, four new notebooks, two greeting cards, and six magic ink pens.
I went to Hennes & Mauritz and bought a pair of earrings, then I went to Gina Tricot and bought three necklaces. I went to Citymarket and bought a pair of knitting needles, a ball of wool yarn, a ball of cotton yarn, two soup bowls, two packages of glittery stickers, a gift for Carol Anne, and then I went to Glitter and bought a set of three “Best Friends Forever” necklaces.
In the evening when I went back to Myyrmanni shopping center, I met Outikka and Eleclya and Suavecita. I gave Eleclya and Suavecita two of the friendship necklaces, after Suavecita went back home I bought Outikka and Eleclya and myself ice creams, and also bought myself a new shopping bag. Outikka picked me a bunch of yellow flowers that I put into a vase.

Thursday:
There had been some bad shit happening, and it was all my fault. I was so depressed that I stayed in bed all day.
I received a package in the mail, it was the bottle of organic shampoo I ordered from Etsy.
I thought about committing suicide. The only reason that’s stopping me is that I fear becoming handicapped or falling into coma due to a failed attempt, and burning in Hell after I die.
I called my nurse and asked if I can come see them tomorrow, they said yes.
I ate eight pots of soy- based coconut pudding, which I had actually mistaken for yoghurt.
In the evening, while lying in bed, I put on my headphones and listened to hard rock on Spotify on full volume. I also knitted the first square to the “Mother Teresa quilt”.

Friday:
I went to see my nurse, they were very nice to me.
I was in a foul mood for most of the day.
I ate two bars of chocolate.
I went to Helsinki and visited Tennispalatsi art museum.
I washed two loads of laundry, hoovered the floor, took out the trash, and kept the balcony door open to let fresh air in.

Saturday:
My parents had gone to a weekend off to Firenze, so I visited them to drink all their orange juice and to do a little housework.
In the evening I went to the gym, I managed to walk on the treadmill for twenty minutes and use all the exercise machines.

Sunday:
Mostly I just stayed in bed all day, except when I watched Doctor Who on Netflix. I made it to the episode A Town Called Mercy.

Monday:
I had another of those pesky meetings, this time it was only me, my mother, the occupational therapist and my nurse. Tears flowed freely.
I went to Girls’ House, and got two packets of free bread.
I had a terrible craving for something sweet, so I went back home the shortest way and made myself a couple of sandwiches, and drank two cups of tea, one peppermint- flavoured and one chocolate cake- flavoured.
Later the day I was supposed to go to the natatorium, I went for a short walk before that.
I realized I was having a Creepy Moment; my eyesight was blurred, my teeth were clattering, my knees felt weak, and I was terribly conscious of every noise and sight and physical feeling.
I managed to go to the library and lend a couple of DVDs, then I went back home.
I felt miserable for not being able to go to the natatorium, but I forgave myself.
I went to sleep early, and remembered to set my alarm clock to ring at half past nine o’clock in the morning, considering that I would have an appointment at the health center tomorrow.
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I slept pretty well, and I woke up about at half past six o’clock in the morning, three hours before my alarm clock was supposed to ring. I was already wide awake but didn’t feel like getting up since I didn’t have a hurry, and besides I was having such sweet dreams. And besides, I would only feel bored if I got up so early.

When my alarm clock finally rang and I had to get up, I snoozed for about half an hour but later I still managed to get my feet on the floor, take my morning medicine, have a wash, and dress up.

I had an appointment with my doctor at the health center at half past ten o’clock in the morning. I complained about the eczema on my scalp and the chapped corners of my mouth, and the skin between my nose and upper lip is chapped to the point of bleeding. And also, the eczema on my right wrist has returned.
The doctor wrote a prescription for lotions, and I also asked him to write a prescription for some kind of greasier basic lotion, because Aqualan L is too light for my problematic skin.

After the appointment, I went to see my mother. I took a bus to my parents’ home, once there mother paid the bill I had received when the repairer came to my home to fix my Internet connection and upgrade my virus protection. It cost 91 euros, and that’s too much for my budget.

We made Greek salad for lunch together, mom also made me scrambled eggs. We drank coffee, then I left and walked to the bus station and caught a bus to Myyrmäki. I went to the shopping center to hang around, and then I went home.

I managed to wash a load of laundry, iron a dress, and wash the dishes. I fetched my towels and bed linen I had washed last weekend from the drying room downstairs, and I folded them and put them into the bureau drawer.

Then it was time to go out for errands; I mailed three birthday cards, and took a bill to the social office.

I went to the shopping center and the library to hang around until it was time to go to Myöhätuuli.
There were only four of us including me. We just chitchatted, listened to music, drank coffee and ate cinnamon rolls. Suavecita called me and we made plans for the summer; we are going to attend Helsinki Pride, the gay pride happening in the metropolitan area of Finland. We and also have this little discreet party where we bring our old clothes and purses and figurines and stuff and exchange them between us, while drinking coffee and chitchatting.

There was a small free-of-charge thrift store in Myöhätuuli, you could pick up other people’s old clothes and bring your own old stuff. I found an amazing suit jacket, brown corduroy, it looks something like the 10th or 11th Doctor Who would wear.
I might put a couple of badges, canvas patches, and safety pins in it, so it would look amazingly bohemian.

In the evening when Myöhätuuli was about to be closed, I walked a long way to Martinlaakso and caught a bus to Myyrmäki.
I went straight home, sent a few text messages and made a few phone calls.

In the evening, after taking my medicine, I managed to have a proper wash and take a shower, and also exercise a little. I just did some simple stretches and also exercised my feet, but I forgot to do the face muscle exercises and wash the dishes. Oh well, I forgave myself because you can never succeed completely.

Tomorrow I will receive money. The first thing to do is to pay a debt to Suavecita after they paid for my sushi buffet, and then I need to go withdraw the money and pick up my mended dress from the dressmaker’s and bring another dress there.
I should also visit the pharmacy to pick up my prescription lotions, fortunately I get discount for prescribed medicines.
I will also buy a sufficient amount of groceries, and I am also in a desperate need of new underwear; ankle socks, brassieres, tights, and underpants.

I have decided to dedicate this spring and summer to renewing myself; on Friday I will go to a beautician to have a manicure and a pedicure. After my scalp is healthy enough, I will go to another beautician named Za Za to have my shoulders and head massaged, and I will continue going to the gym and natatorium and take better care of my physical health. It will also affect my mental health positively.
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