3rd June 2016


Dear Carol Anne, I’m really glad that you received the package I sent you and that you liked each one of the gifts! I shall start constructing your next package right away!

On Thursday I had an appointment with my own nurse at the psychiatric center at two o’clock in the afternoon (2:00 p.m.). I’m really glad that my current nurse, is very kind, understanding, smart, and empathic, because the first nurse I had after moving to Myyr York was a goddamned asshole, they always made fun of me when they were in a good mood, and insulted me when they were in a bad mood.
After a decade of being mentally ill, I was almost used to nurses and doctors being assholes, and nowadays I almost feel surprised when they are nice and kind to me.

It was a really hot and sunny day, but it rained a bit during my appointment.

Saija suggested that I take part in this research about the hereditary of psychotic disorders, I will receive a gift card of 20 €uros to S- Market if I do. That’s a plus, and I would also love to help the research on psychotic illness.

After the appointment, I took a bus to Martin’s Valley and went to see a parish worker. We made an appointment on June 15th, I will go visit them to talk about my current life and stuff.

After the appointment, I went to S- Market and bought a cucumber, a pound of tomatoes, a pound of satsumas, two cartons of milk, two packets of rye bread, and three bars of Marabou Japp fudge chocolate.

I took a bus back to Myyr York, once there I went straight back home, put the groceries to their rightful places, ate a few pieces of chocolate, took a nap and wrote into my diary.
After I woke up, I felt so happy about everything; the nap, the chocolate, the diary, the kind parish worker. I whispered to myself “Everything is okay, Miia”, and I really meant it.

I decided to tidy up the sofa- bed where my friends sleep during sleepovers. I took the pillows and blankets off and washed them and took them to the drying room downstairs, and took the mattress to the balcony to have it aired.

I decided to go for a visit to Helsinki. I was going to visit Fiorella, a clothing store in Kaisa Cape, and check out their amazing selection of clothes.
Which reminds me, my best friend Suavecita had recommended me their “No time for fuckboys”.

I took the bus %&= to Mellu’s Hill and then a subway to Kaisa Cape, went to Fiorella to check out their selection. They have all kinds of amazing clothes; chola clothes, soft grunge & pastel goth clothes. My favourite is the slinky burgundy dress made of ribbed cotton with a front pocket and a hoodie.
I travelled back to Myyr York on a train.
Once back home, it was about quarter past eight o’clock in the evening (8:15 p.m.) when I decided to take my evening medicine and go to sleep.

I had dreams about the TV show American Horror Story: Freak Show. In the dream I joined Fräulein Elsa’s Cabinet of Curiosities as a performer, and decided to marry Pepper after her husband Salty died, and we went to a small restaurant to celebrate, and of course, she got meatloaf ^_^

In another dream, I went to Iron Lake with my parents and older brother, we visited a restaurant where I nommed plenty of food.
I thought I had slept late, but it was only quarter to ten o’clock (9:45 a.m.) in the morning when I got up.
I took my morning medicine, washed my face and dabbed lotion on it, and dressed up. I regretted that I didn’t feel like doing all the morning routines, having a proper wash and eating a proper breakfast, even if I could have, I had plenty of time and no special appointments today.

I spent the morning surfing on the Internet and eating chocolate and writing into my diary, then I went to see my mother like every Friday.

I took the bus %/! to my parents’ home. I ate the lunch mom had prepared for me, and remembered to give her the two squares I had knitted. We made plans for next week, and then I accompanied my mom when she went grocery shopping.

I took the bus %!= back to Myyr York, and went to Myyrmanni shopping center to buy a name- day card for my best friend who has their name- day on Tuesday, and also five 1st class postage stamps.

Once back home, I noticed that I had received a small package. Inside it was a Sherlocket, a locket with charms referring to the Sherlock fandom. A Facebook friend had custom- made it for me, and it was so amazing it made me bounce around my home out of pure happiness! I took a picture of it with my Lumia smartphone, I will post it later. I might also order another for my friend Trauma, who is also a Sherlockian like me, they were actually the one who introduced me to the aforementioned fandom.

As it was Friday, I started doing housework. I rolled up the carpet and took it to the balcony, hoovered the floor, arranged my stuff, and when I left again for errands, I took out the garbage.

I went to Myyrmanni shopping center again, recycled some empty bottles, sent a card to the friend who had sent me the Sherlocket, and then I went to a thrift store named Bella’s and what do you know, I found tons of amazing gifts for Carol Anne! And they didn’t cost much.

I hung about for a while, and then I went back home.
I wrapped up the gifts, ate a few sandwiches with a glass of milk, did some random odd jobs around my home, and had to swallow three tranquillizers because I was feeling kind of speedy and soon it made me feel frustrated and moody.

Tomorrow I need to have my home tidied up, I need to wash the dishes and take out the recycling. I also need to take my carpet and the sofa- bed mattress out to dust them, and make the bed again. I cannot possibly do those deeds today, I am too out of it.

I feel like my concept of reality is coming apart. I feel as if my head is light and heavy at the same time, and there’s a weird pressure in my eyeballs.
I had to take my evening medicine about an hour early, in order to feel better.
  • Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
  • Current Music: Kwan - Microphoneaye