June 14th, 2016


(no subject)

I had a dream about studying in some sort of a high school that looked very much like my junior high. In the dream I wondered why I had to attend the aforementioned school, because I had already finished high school.
I had some nice dreams as well, in one I was watching an interactive theater play based on the Pixar*Disney animated movie Inside Out.

When I got up in the morning, I noticed that my eyelids were puffy from the weeping I did last night.
I recalled the suicidal thoughts I had last night, and they seemed almost ridiculous by now that I felt better. Sometimes a good sleep can work miracles.

I went to the bathroom and emptied my Lunette keeper, and decided that my period is over this month, so I decided to wear disposable panty liners until the after- flow is over.
I changed my nightshirt into a bathrobe, had some coffee, and when I went to the bathroom for a morning wash, I noticed that I had forgotten to take my morning medicine, so I took them now.
I took a shower and washed my hair. I would love to use some of the Gliss shampoo they sell at the nearest supermarket, the one with monoí and rose oil, but I am afraid of all the toxins and other poop that non- organic shampoos have in them. It’s just that I want to make my hair healthier prettier, but all of those organic, ayurvedic, vegetable- based shampoos and conditioners and hair tonics cost a pretty penny. But then again, I don’t actually think that the ones that they sell in supermarkets are lethal.
I flossed and brushed my teeth, and used mouthwash. Then I washed my face and dabbed lotion on my skin, and put on fresh clothes after pondering for a long time what I should wear.
I read a text post from Tumblr: “Sometimes you just need to spray some rosewater on your face and get over it”. A good sleep and a cleansing routine can actually work miracles on my wellbeing, that’s true.

I have taken up the habit of checking my online bank account every day to see if I have received money, but usually I just receive it on Wednesdays and every 22nd day.

I was still feeling bitter, and I felt so moody that I had to take three tranquilizers. After that, I decided not to go out until it was time to take the bus to Nut Hill.

Once in Myöhätuuli, I was still in a bitter mood, and the tranquilizers made me feel empty and unresponsive, but valiantly tried to contain myself. I tried my best not to make other people angry at me; I am just a small meatball who tries to avoid getting hurt.
I drank too much cocoa and then I left; I caught the bus #”” to Helsinki and visited my favorite thrift stores. I was disappointed to see that the clothes I had swooned at had already been sold, but then again, now I could save the money and spend it on something else.
I took the P train to Myyr York, it was already eight o’clock in the evening (8:00 p.m.) by then so I went straight back home.

I took my evening medicine and checked out Tumblr and Facebook. I knew I could have ironed laundry and washed the dirty dishes and taken the empty cans and bottles to recycling and taken out the trash and taken my mattress out to dust it, but instead I just put clean sheets into my bed and decided to do the rest of the housework tomorrow.

I have had this strange ache behind my left ear all evening. I know I might be a bit hypochondriac, but here’s to hoping it’s not a brain tumour.
My skin problems have returned; my scalp itches, my wrist has a skin rash, the skin between my nose and upper lip has got small sideways cuts in it. But then again, I still have the prescribed lotions left.

Tomorrow will be a busy day, considering that it will be Wednesday and that means the weekly payday when I receive 80 euros from the social office. It will also be the 15th day of this month when my mother gives me 90 euros, so I will be 170 euros richer.
I have to pay a bill for ordering some medical stuff online, and I will also pay fifteen dollars to a friend for hand- crafting “Sherlockets” to two of my friends, Trauma and Loki, who are also Cumbercookies like me.
If I am awake early enough, I will go to the bread line at half past eleven o’clock in the morning (11:30 a.m.), then I will go visit my mother to collect the monthly allowance. I will use it to recharge my travel card so I can travel in the metropolitan area (Helsinki, Espoo, Vantaa, Kauniainen) from July 16th to June 15th. The rest of the allowance will be used to paying for my mended dress at the dressmaker’s, I will also take two articles of clothing to the same dressmaker’s to have them mended and when I pick them up, I will take another two there.
Actually, I might snoop through my cupboards and closets and try to find more clothing to mend so it will be done.
I will also have an appointment at the parish at one o’clock in the afternoon. We will talk about stuff, my life and my problems. After that, if I have enough money left, I will go buy new underwear; brassiere, leggings, panties and ankle socks.
I have also agreed to go to movies with my friends Suavecita and Eleclya, we will go see Alice Through the Looking Glass.
I don’t think I have enough time to go to the gym between the shopping and the movies, but at least I will have plenty of fun.
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