June 30th, 2016


(no subject)

I had plenty of nice dreams, but I wonder why I always have my nightly dreams in the morning just before I wake up. I wish I had them when I sleep during midnight, so I wouldn’t be disappointed if I have to do something early in the morning, like an appointment with my nurse, and I am rudely awakened by my alarm clock ringing, and I won’t be able to dream the same dreamy little dreams again.

I was already awake when my smartphone’s alarm clock rang at half past ten o’clock in the morning (10:30 a.m.). I got up with a grimace, turned the alarm off, and went back to bed. I had wanted to go to a bread line today, but then again, it was so early that I almost considered it inhuman.

Later the morning, about at quarter past eleven o’clock (11:15 a.m.), I got up again, took my morning medicine, and dressed up into a pair of Pusheen pyjama pants and a pink and a black striped long- sleeved shirt.

I turned on my laptop and logged in to my online bank account, and already felt bitter because I knew that my account would be empty; when the page loaded, I had to blink because I felt my eyes were deceiving me; I had approximately hundred and thirty euros (130 €)! I looked at my account statement and realized that I had received hundred and eighty euros (180 €) from the social office.
I don’t know the reason behind it, but I don’t really care.

I paid thirty U.S. dollars (30 $) to a friend, drank a cup of coffee, and then I went shopping.

I withdrew hundred euros (100 €) from a cash machine, and bought a pair of new sunglasses from Cubus. They’re a bit hipster, black thick rims with bluish- green square lenses. They have a proper UV protection in them.
I also visited Hennes & Mauritz, where I bought a light grey sweater with the embroidered letters “Happiness looks gorgeous on you” on the front. It has a pocket on the front, and it was in discount; it would have cost thirty- nine euros (39 €), but this time it cost only twelve euros (13 €).
I bought a greeting card for Hippie who has their name- day today, and ten (10) first class postage stamps from the stationery shop. I have decided that the next time I receive my guarantee welfare, I will buy a roll of hundred (100) first class postage stamps; I used to buy them in rolls back then when they were cheaper.

I went to Citymarket and bought a battery- operated thingy you use to file the hard skin off your feet, it looks like a regular LadyShaver. It cost only a tenner (10 €). I also bought three (3) big cans of milk, and some treats.

Once back home, I put my new belongings to their rightful places, and then I was off again.

I took a train to Helsinki and visited an eco- market to buy a universal cleaner in a spray bottle. Then I went to a UFF thrift store on Freda and bought a new skirt, brown with a white flower pattern. Actually it’s an apron with a bib, but I will take it to the dressmaker and ask them to mend it into a proper skirt. 

I took a subway to Kaisa Cape and visited Fiorella to buy a pair of socks, dark blue with a pattern of “sunny side up” eggs. I also bought a small purse with a zipper, pink with a picture of a grumpy- looking Persian cat with a pink flower crown on their head. I am going to keep my paper tissues in there; I have plenty of these small purses and bags in my backpack.
By the way, I got a new backpack from my mother yesterday when I visited her, the one I bought from NT- Bags last week broke already; I actually tugged a zipper puller too hard and it just slid off, and there’s a tear in the front pocket.

I took a subway to Mellu’s Hill, then the bus %&= to Myyr York.
Once back home, I was in a terribly angry mood. The bad memories from my childhood and pre- teens kept on bothering me in the shape of delusions.
When I cut the price tag off my new socks, I accidentally cut a small hole in them. And when I tried to get the foot- filer or whatevsies to work, I did everything the instructions told me to do, and it didn’t work. I threw both the socks and the foot- filer to the garbage bin, my feet are really unlucky today.

Later the day I went back to the shopping center, and bought a bag of salted crisps out of a whim. They tasted scrumptious, but soon I had salt and crumbs all over my clothes, and I felt terribly self- conscious about gaining weight.

I took a couple of tranquillizers in order to calm myself down, and soon I became sleepy. I went to bed fully clothed, and woke up in the evening to the feeling of being completely soaked in sweat.

I drank more coffee, that was probably a mistake because all the caffeine I had ingested made me feel even more delusional and moody.

I called a helpline, but the person who answered seemed to be more interested in why I was awake at midnight.

Here’s to hoping tomorrow will be a better day.