July 17th, 2016


(no subject)

On Thursday night I slept pretty badly, serves me right for drinking coffee right before bedtime. I tried to lay still, keep my eyes shut and breathe calmly, but it didn’t help.
No really, it would do me good if I gave up coffee altogether. I managed perfectly well (well, in my own terms) before starting to consume it, so I will manage well after I stop consuming it.

Nevertheless, when I finally fell asleep I had an awesome dream where I hung out with my friend Luisita, it was the most amazing dream I have had for a while. I also dreamed of the Rippers from the movie Tank Girl, it was amazing as well.

I got up about after four o’clock in the morning, because I didn’t get any sleep.
I took my morning medicine, replaced the towels, scrubbed the toilet bowl, and took the trash bags out of the bins.
I also managed to have a proper wash, even if I didn’t feel like up to it, and then I dressed up. I wore a brown, embroidered Dirndl dress with a red long- sleeved shirt with a white heart pattern.

When it was about eight o’clock in the morning, I went out for errands. I noticed a discarded trolley cart in the bus station, so I took it to the shop where it belonged.

I visited the psychiatric clinic to renew my Ketipinor prescription, and then I went to the health center to book myself an appointment with a nurse in order to discuss my health and lifestyle. I need help with giving up coffee; while I like the taste of coffee, I hate what caffeine does to my health, not to mention that I got addicted to it and drank it by buckets for days; the way I was addicted to Fazer chocolate, later to Marabou Japp chocolate, then to cocoa and now I am addicted to this grocery store- bought iced coffee named Frezza Mocca. I want to give up consuming them all. 

Once back home, I was thinking whether I should take a nap in order to sleep off the sleep debt, but I decided to take two old diaries to the storage room downstairs, and cook a decent breakfast.

Later the day I went to Citymarket in Myyrmanni shopping center to buy two big cartons of milk.

For most of the noon, I was simply bored until I decided to go to Klubitalo in Tikkurila, a hang- out for mentally challenged people.

I took a train to Tikkurila, once there I got two strawberry cupcakes and a sandwich. I talked with the others, surfed on the Internet, and all around had a good time.

After the place was closed, I took a train back to Myyrmäki and went to a bank to open myself a deposit account. I also asked the teller to send some kind of a form to the social office and social security institution to inform them that my deposit account has changed.

It was a rainy Friday afternoon, and I felt like Myyrmanni shopping center was the best place for me to be. I visited a few shops and then I went back home.

I spent the rest of the evening at my own home, watching Doctor Who on Netflix.

During the night between Friday and Saturday I had horrid nightmares. I got up at half past four o’clock in the afternoon and put on the new pyjama onesie I had bought, and packed my stuff; I was supposed to go visit my friend Eleclya for a sleepover. But zie called me and told me that zie has to clean up the house before hir mother comes home, so that was that. I went back home, and slept for the rest of the day.

On Sunday I got up about at midday, took my morning medicine and dressed up, and called my mother to ask her if she can visit me today to cheer me up. She said yes, and half an hour later we met in Myyrmanni shopping center where she bought me a new toothbrush, and a chili- chocolate bar.

She came to visit my home, and mostly complained about the mess; she told me to take out the trash, wash the dishes, hoover and mop the floor, clean up the bathroom, and clean the windows.

Later the day when she left, I was gripped by the wanderlust again, and I regretted it later when I came home after a pointless urbane adventure. After all, all the shops and art museums were closed, so I had no fun.
I could have gone to the gym, or done housework instead. Well, the good part is that I learned from it, so from now on I will learn to feel good at my own home instead of always trying to “escape” from it.
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