August 10th, 2016


(no subject)

Last night I picked my left ear so much it became blocked with earwax. At first I thought I had perforated my eardrum.
It’s a good thing that today I was going to visit the health center anyway, I already had a myriad of health problems.

I had a dream about travelling back in time to meet the little girl me, I gave hir one of my diaries with the text “SPOILERS!!!” written on it (a reference to the relationship between River Song and the Doctor in the TV show Doctor Who). I had marked each unhappy day there, like the day when I was almost raped and the day when I had a psychosis, and told hir to avoid those dates. Then my mother came along and told the little girl me to get away from “that crazy lady”. I yelled at my mother, “Am I the only one who cares about the happiness of this child?! She has been marked by death ever since she was born!” The dream also had something to do with the Chinese Zodiac. And then the dream got warped and turned into an erotic nightmare.

After getting up, it was only about five o’clock in the morning. I turned on my laptop and logged in to the online bank account, and yep, I had received money. I paid for my Netflix subscription, and went back to bed.

I slept for about two and half hours, after getting up I took a shower and put on clean clothes, a shirt and a pair of pants.

When it was about eight o’clock in the morning, I went to the health center.
I had to wait for my turn for less than an hour, but it felt like a long time when I had to listen to old people complaining about their health problems, the municipal health services, and the problems of immigration. They also recalled the times of war in Finland.

I told the nurse about my own myriad of health problems. The lump in my neck was just a simple swollen lymph node, it wasn’t dangerous and by now the swelling had gone down, and besides I have had those in my life.
I was booked an appointment for a tetanus shot next week.
My left ear was washed with warm water. It didn’t hurt but it tickled a bit. Now my ear isn’t blocked anymore, it’s just fine.
The nurse didn’t say anything about booking allergy tests for me, so I better visit again tomorrow.

I went to laboratory to have my blood drawn, then I went to the pharmacy to buy some skincare products like facial wash gel, and three lip balms; one for my nightstand, one for my bathroom cabinet, and one for my cosmetics purse. From now on I will buy those products from the pharmacy, they are far healthier for my troublesome skin. 
I also bought a packet of hand wipes you can use if you get a cut on your skin and need to disinfect it before putting a band- aid on it, and I also bought a packet of band- aids to keep in my backpack.

I was feeling a bit peckish, so I bought a cold- smoked salmon bagel and two bottles of iced espresso. And anyway, I had to raise my blood sugar.

Once back home, I took my morning medicine and put my stuffs to their rightful places. Then I was off again, I went to the shopping center and visited the stationery shop to buy a green magic ink pen, five first class postage stamps, and a birthday card for Karla.

I couldn’t afford going to the movies today; me and Mirette had planned to go see Suicide Squad. I sent Mirette a text message, telling hir that I still wanted to see hir today, and we could go see the movie next week.

I dabbed some of the Bemetson cortisone emulsion into my scalp, I think it has healed by now so I don’t need to use it anymore. The eczema on my ankles and my right wrist has healed as well.

I decided to go see my mother. I called hir and asked hir if I can come over because I was a bit bored, zie said it was alright and that I was welcome. But once at my parents’ home, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was only bothering hir.

I drank coffee and orange juice, ate a slice of a bun loaf, a tomato and an apricot.

Later the day I went to see Mirette.
I was walking along the road to the station, when a man said: “If I didn’t have a girlfriend, I would squeeze your boobs”. I kept on walking, and he asked me “Can I squeeze them?” I paid no attention to him, so he called me a “goddamn fugly slut”.
To be honest, I know why he did that. First of all, men are sex- obsessed animals, everyone knows that. And besides, I was wearing a tight t- shirt and I am very breasty anyway.
I called my mother and told hir about it. Zie told me about when zie was younger, when miniskirts were fashionable.

I took the train to Helsinki and a subway to where Mirette lives, and helped hir do housework.

My mother called me and told me zie is going to take me shopping and buy me a proper brassiere that doesn’t make me look like a heifer. Bless hir.

Later the day I travelled back to the city center on a subway and took the train to Myyrmäki, I met my mother right away.
Zie bought me one white brassiere, it makes my breasts look cone- shaped but at least I don’t look like Pamela Anderson. And at least they’re comfortable, but also very expensive.
Zie also took me to Wayne’s Coffee, but that was my idea. We ran into my brother, I asked hir if zie can come to my home to assemble some furniture. Zie asked me why I don’t assemble it myself, I said because I don’t know how, and zie answered, “Of course you know! You cannot always ask others to do the dirty work for you and use that as an excuse!” That’s my brother to ya.
I quickly drank my cocoa, and then I left.

I didn’t feel like going to the natatorium, it was already getting late and I had lost my motivation.

Tomorrow I won’t have any kind of appointments.
I have to mail a birthday card, wash the dishes, assemble some furniture, visit the bank where I have my old deposit account to withdraw the rest of the money and close the account and give back my old debit cards, iron some laundry and wash even more laundry, watch movies on Netflix, knit the quilt squares, read books, find stuff to give away, put stickers on my stuff, Washi- tape the myriad of posters and pictures onto my walls, go to the health center to book an appointment for allergy tests, work on my novels, brush my teeth...