August 12th, 2016


(no subject)

I had a sad dream where I told my nurse that I have felt unhappy ever since last Midsummer. It made me recall the year 2006, a decade ago, when my schizophrenia was at its worst but I still managed to be happy.
In another dream I had to face a tough choice; the Icelandic comic artist Hugleikur Dagson loaned me an art book which contained limited edition DVDs and one of them was Ghost World, my best- loved movie. I wanted to steal it because there was no other way I could get it, but it was against my strong moral code.
When I woke up, I felt happy that it was only a dream.
When I have happy dreams, I wake up feeling unhappy because it was only a dream. And when I have nightmares and unhappy dreams, I wake up feeling happy because they weren’t real.

I got up about after half past ten o’clock in the morning, took my morning medicine and dressed up.
I called my mother and asked hir if I can come over, zie said yes.

I took the bus %&% to Troll Mountain, once there mom was home. Zie complained about the way I dress and my bad posture and how I am going to attract men and make them harass me.
Zie also served me coffee and a slice of a bun loaf, and gave me the monthly allowance which is 90 euros. I use it to recharge my travel card.

Later the day we decided to go to Mole Hill together, mom walk- pushed hir bicycle there and I walked alongside hir. Once in Mole Hill, it was time to go see my social worker, I had an appointment with hir at one o’clock in the afternoon.

The meeting went easier than I had expected. The social worker was very nice and polite towards me, zie told me that I can receive a voucher each month for recharging my travel card, and that I can receive income support.
I had to lie to hir that my parents don’t give me money, if the social workers knew that my mother gives me money regularly, 90 euros every 15th day and 20 euros each Friday, they would be subtracted from my income support.

It had started raining heavily, even if most of the day it had been sunny.
All the coffee I had drank at my parents’ home gave me the squirts, I had to excuse myself and go to the toilet to take a very impressive dump.

After the appointment, I went to a convenience store to recharge my travel card. Usually I recharge it for a month, but this time I decided to recharge only two weeks because it’s cheaper and I would have more money for other things. Next time I receive money I would recharge it till September 22nd, and hope that I would receive the voucher by then.

I went to Citymarket and bought two bars of Marabou Japp chocolate, and two bottles of Frezza Mocca iced coffee.
I also went to BR Lelut, a toy shop, and bought two rolls of Hello Kitty gift- wrapping paper, and one roll of Star Wars paper, and five rolls of Washi tape. I also bought a small doll, Queen Elsa from the Disney movie Frozen as a toddler.

I went home and did some housework; I scrubbed the toilet bowl and washed a load of laundry.
When I left again, I took an old diary to the downstairs storage room, took out the trash, mailed a birthday card to Karla, went to the pharmacy to return some old medicines, and then I went to Citymarket to buy a spray bottle of Cillit Bang cleaner, a pump- action bottle of oil- based hair serum, and a package of three big tubes of toothpaste as a gift for Mirette; zie will have hir birthday party and housewarming party on the same day this month, and I will give hir domestic & personal hygiene products as gifts.

Me and Mirette had agreed to meet today, we were going shopping.
I took a train to Helsinki, but the train froze on one of the stations. According to the conductor, it was because they had forgotten to pay the electricity bill. I got off the train and right after that, the train continued.

I took another train to Helsinki. I met Mirette in our regular meeting place, and we went to a clothing shop named Monki in Forum shopping center. The gorgeous shirt I had swooned at earlier didn’t come in more sizes than Small and Extra Small, so Mirette suggested that we go to another Monki on Aleksi to see if they have the same shirt in bigger sizes.

Once in the aforementioned shop, they didn’t have the same shirt. We went to Hennes & Mauritz on the same street, I found better clothes in the men’s section.

We went back to the Monki in Forum where I bought the shirt. Then we took a subway to Kaisa Cape and went to Fiorella where I bought a small bag with a picture of a cute chubby unicorn.

We took another subway to Pasture Cape and visited the UFF thrift store, then we took another subway to Heart Cape and visited Mirette’s home to pick up some of hir stuff, we were having a sleepover at my home.
Mirette gave me one of hir old dresses, it was black chiffon with stars made of shiny silver- colored sequins. Zie also gave me one of hir old backpacks, and I was glad that now I don’t have to buy a new one. The backpack has plenty of pockets, and it seems like it won’t break too easily.

We took a subway to Crossing and then the bus %&= to Mole Hill.
We made it to Citymarket right before it was closed, we still had to buy groceries. Mirette bought pizza ingredients, and two bottles of this new Mars bar- flavoured drink.

Once back at my home, it was a late evening. Mirette baked some small pizzas for us, I ate the rest of the Marabou Japp chocolate, and we stayed awake late into the night, Mirette watched the Olympics on hir laptop and I blogged on my own laptop.

Tomorrow, after Mirette comes home from hir hairdresser, we will go to Heidi’s home party.