October 31st, 2017


Light at the end of the rainbow

OK, so, just to let you know that one of my lovely friends called an ambulance for me and I was taken to the ER, holding my teddy bear.
I felt my wits returning slowly, but I am still scared that something like this is going to happen again. I am so fragile.
Anyway, I lied on the bed, singing "Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens" softly to myself.
Soon I got to talk with this lovely psychiatrist who was very kind, and told me that going to this free cafe tomorrow will heal my hurt soul better than going to a ward.
Once back home, I went to bed and had a dream where I met one of my favourite characters from a British musical, and he told me that British people "Keep calm and carry on". That's what I must do.
I have realised that the only person I have to fear is myself because no one else can hurt me as badly.
And oh, I received Zoya's Halloween package and Siren sent me a Halloween card!


Feelin' fine

I woke up early this morning and got up because I didn't feel like sleeping anymore.
I took my morning medicine and took a shower, and put on clothes and jewellery. I put on the guardian angel necklace.

I was bored so just to spend time, I washed four loads of laundry; underwear, gym clothes, Dirndl dresses, everyday clothes, my autumn coat and cap and the mathroska scarf; I also washed the apron I wear when washing the dishes or doing other general housework, and my bathrobe. I wash the bathrobe and apron once a week.

I cooked a breakfast and ate it, and then I called my mother and asked her when we are going to meet, she was supposed to give me the rest of the monthly allowance today. We agreed to see other in the shopping mall at half past ten o'clock in the morning.

Mom gave me 40 euros. I went to Wayne's and bought a goat cheese bagel and a big mug of marshmallow cocoa.
After my brunch, I went to the stationery shop and bought three name- day cards and three birthday cards. I also bought two magic ink pens, one black and one red.
I also bought myself this tiny rustic snowglobe that has a tiny fox inside.

I went back home, put everything to their rightful places, and wrote into my diary. My last magic ink pen ran out of ink on Sunday night, and I couldn't write.
I used red ink pen for the first time, it looked beautiful against white paper. Like peppermint stick candy,  or rowan berries against snow.

When I received the weekly allowance, I paid a bill and went back to the shopping mall.
I went to the supermarket to buy a toilet brush and a toothbrush (here's to hoping that I won't get them mixed up!) and two rubber gloves, one for washing the dishes and one for doing general housework.
I also bought two big cartons of milk, a tube of face scrub gel, and a tube of Veet hair removal cream.

I went back home and put everything to their rightful places, and then I had to leave.

I took a train to Pole City, while waiting for the train I heard a kid humming "Silent night, Holy night". It put me in Christmas spirit.

I went to the cafe where I met my friend Mella. I also made a new friend whom I will take to the Pearl House next week.

I had a good time, later the day I travelled to Late Winds. On the way there, I talked on the phone with my best friend Suavecita.

Once at the youth group, the others were playing board games and I wrote into my diary. I ate a whole garlic baguette, it tasted good.

Later the day I travelled back home. Once there, I used the Veet hair removal cream.
It made my armpits burn like hell, and I also didn't dab it on every single hairy patch on my leg. Nevertheless, it made my arms and legs smooth like a peach.

I drank coffee, knitted, wrote into my diary, updated my Facebook... Later the evening I took my medicine and went to bed.

Tomorrow I will go to the mindfulness group, then I will go to the gym.