November 14th, 2017


If there is nothing missing from my life, why do I feel like poop?

I have decided not to do those ”weekly plans” entries anymore. Usually they help me to flesh out what I am going to do during weeks, but usually things don’t go according to plan XD

Last night I had a dream where I took a long- distance train to Raisio, a town in Finland, went to this women- only horror- themed museum. I don’t know if there is actually one, but it seemed awesome in the dream.

I also had a dream where I travelled to Parikkala and went to this park with lots of freaky human sculptures made of concrete. It actually exists, it was made by a Finnish sculptor named Veijo Rönkkönen, it was his lifeline for 50 years. It would be a dream come true to visit that place some day, but I don’t know how.

Waking up felt strangely painful, and my apartment was very chilly. I got up, took my morning medicine, drank coffee, took a shower, dressed up, and put on jewellery.

I went to visit Twinkle cafe. I travelled to Pole City, and went to the cafe. I almost threw up after eating so many treats and drinking coffee, nevertheless I had a good time.

Later the day I travelled to Walnut Hill, and went to the Late Winds youth group. We had this group where the counselor played songs, and we rated them. The first thing was to play a song that makes you happy or a song that has a happy tune, I played Tree Hugger by Antsy Pants. I ate a handful of salmiakki and fruit drops and a bag of salted crisps.
The next song was “a song you used to like”. I wasn’t sure if it meant a song that you used to like decades ago, or a song that you hate nowadays, but I chose We will rock you by Queen.

After the group was over, I travelled back home.
I started feeling a bit weird; I was angry and moody, and my mouth started foaming. I took some tranquillizers in order to calm down, they only made me feel woozy and I almost threw up.

I went to bed, feeling anxious. I hoped tomorrow would be better.