December 15th, 2017


Dreams turned into nightmares

I had some pretty nice dreams last night, but they turned into nightmares.
In one of the dreams, I was in junior high and I fought with these two nasty girls and crushed their heads.
I have had plenty of dreams of this burned- down college building that has been announced as a landmark. In the dream, many people visit it because they get the kind of thrills like from visiting a haunted house.
What would Freud say?

I got up at midday, and I didn't bother with having a wash. I just took my meds and got dressed.

My vagina has been causing a lot of trouble; my labia minora has started itching violently, my cervix has grown in size, and this clear, sticky recharge comes gushing out of it.

I went to see my mother, first I called her and asked her if I can come over. She said it's alright.

I decided to take a bus, it had snowed a lot so walking wasn't an option. And besides I hadn't had breakfast, so I didn't have enough energy or spoons for it.

Once at my parents' home, mom gave me some cash and this cortisone lotion for my itchy labia.
I drank coffee and orange juice, and ate two kinds of cheese, and dark grapes.

Later the day me and mom went to the shopping mall together. I went to the supermarket and bought Xmas cards (for my Finnish friends), a new toothbrush (I wanted to buy a Humble Brush but they had run out) and a few cartons of milk.

Once back home, I felt a bit unhappy because most of the money was spent.
Fortunately l don't spend money on treats anymore, I have pretty much gotten over my sweet cravings.

I did a lot of housework; I replaced the towels and took the sheets off my bed and washed them. I took out the trash, hoovered the floor, and scrubbed the toilet bowl.

Later the day my friend Elysion came for a sleepover. We had a good time together.

I downloaded the DeviantART app, and saw some triggering content there. It made me feel mentally and physically ill, but I still managed to brush my teeth and put lotion on my skin.

Tomorrow I will host a birthday party for me and my best friend Suavecita, and also a pre- Xmas party. After the party when everyone else goes to a karaoke bar, me and Elysion will go to Laufey's birthday party.

The situation right nao

💐 I have this body image neurosis that other people will notice & chide me for having greasy hair, double chin etc. No matter how much I try to convince myself of what Dr Seuss said; those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter, I can't seem to be able to do it.

🌸 Another neurosis I have is that I should be doing stretches and exercises all the time in order to stay fit. Sometimes I think I am not even doing the bare minimum.

🏵 Today I realised that the rule that applies to my body is that every single of my body parts is either achy and stiff, or itches a lot.

🌹 I have decided to go to a masseuse for neck and back massage every month. Here's to hoping it will help my back.