21st March 2018


Lady Bird

One of my most re- occurring dreams is that I am at the stairway of my parents’ home, which is also my childhood (or actually teenagerhood) home. For some reason, the stairs are completely inaccessible or missing, or there are weird decorations such as graffitis and silk paper everywhere. I had one of those dreams last night.
In the dream, I ended up in a sex party where people dressed into catsuits kept on groping me, and I asked “Don’t you care about my consent?”
In another dream, I was walking along a road near my old junior high, and I wondered if I could enjoy going for walks more than going on bus rides. In the dream, I ended up in a basement of a building, and tried to sneak away, opening doors and going this way and that, and finally ended up in a luxurious nursing home, and tried to sneak away before I was spotted.

I woke up when my smartphone rang, it was the repairer asking about the broken lamps in my kitchen. He asked if he can come over right away, I said yes.
I got up straight away and took my morning medicine, and made some coffee and put on my bathrobe. I went to open the door for the repairer, he fixed the ceiling lamp and told me to contact ASPA about the wall lamp, so I did.

I drank coffee, took a shower and washed my hair, and this time I remembered to dab cortisone lotion and basic lotion on my skin. It’s not that I don’t remember using the lotions, it’s just that I don’t always feel like doing it, even if it’s important for the health of my skin.
I cleaned my teeth and put on clothes, and felt very fresh after that. I also put a new band- aid on the abrasion on my left heel.

I made oatmeal porridge for breakfast, it seemed like this was going to be a wholesome morning.
The porridge had dried and gone cold by the time I ate it, but I didn’t mind.

I didn’t go to the health center today, because the weird pain had gone away. I don’t have the flu anymore, either. I might start going to the gym again.

I was thinking if I should go outside, but I felt a bit uncertain. I felt like if I went outside of the safety of my apartment, anyone could hurt me.
I went anyway, and no one hurt me. In fact, I had a good time.
I travelled to Helsinki, checked out two art museums, and then I went to a café to have a glass of water so I could take my antibiotics.
I was feeling peckish, but I think it was more psychosomatic because I kept on passing by many fabulous cafes and such, and marveled at their selection. Too bad I couldn’t afford it.
At some point, I got a free Kinder egg from this commercial Easter happening. I was happy about it.

I went back home and had some spaghetti for dinner.
Later the evening, I went back to Helsinki again and went to the movie theater to see Lady Bird. I liked that movie, it was the coming- of- age story of a rebellious young woman.

After the movie I traveled back home, busied myself, and went to sleep at one o’clock in the morning.

Tomorrow I will do the usual Thursday things; go to a couple of museums, then to the youth group at the local church. At some point I should meet my mother, she promised to give me some grocery money.