5th May 2019


Early in the morning

Last night I went to bed in time. I managed to feel relaxed and fell asleep just fine, which is a rare occasion for me; I usually toss and turn with worry and anxiety.
I have found myself thinking that I am becoming addicted to my anti- anxiety pills, I might take a break from taking them every evening.

I woke up about at half past one o’clock in the morning and didn’t get any sleep after that. I got up to take my morning medicine and the first biotin and made coffee, turned on my computer, and did a little bit of this and that.

I shaved my armpits and my chin hairs and put on the last of the Rosy Cheeks fresh face mask that I got as a gift from Girls’ House. I also put Miniderm on my skin and deodorant into my armpits. I need to buy another face mask soon, and take the old mask- stuff jar to Lush for recycling.

After the mask had dried, I rinsed it off. I dabbed the last drops of my toner on my face, and then I put on serum, lotion, and eye cream.
I brushed my teeth and got dressed.

I made my bed and cooked a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. At some point, I need to buy more chia seeds.
I did some simple stretches to release the tension in my body.

Soon I started to feel a bit sleepy, so I went back to bed to sleep off the sleep debt. I had a weird feeling; I somehow realized I was lying down horizontally, I had never realized it as well as before.
I slept till ten o’clock in the morning and had a dream about the movie Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, especially the dolphin scene: “So long, so long, and thanks for all the fish!”. I also had a dream where I rollerbladed naked through an old mansion.
In another dream, I was walking at the bus station in my parents’ home town, and soon I became aware of my surroundings and then I woke up.

I got up, washed a load of laundry, took the second biotin supplement of the day, and made pasta-in-a-bag for lunch.

I took some of my old and new diaries to the downstairs storage room, and took my leggings to the drying room so they would dry faster; I was out of clean leggings and it was cold outside.

I decided to keep the drying racks on the balcony, so my laundry would smell fresh.

Later that day I left and took the household waste to recycling. I got aboard a train, traveled to my parents’ home town, and took the plastic waste to recycling.

I took a bus to downtown and went to two museums.
After that I took a bus back to my parents’ home town, and went to see my parents.
My mom answered the door. My dad gave me 20 euros, and I had a nice talk with my brother.

I had coffee, and then I walked to the bus station and caught a bus to my home town. I went to the supermarket and bought a new pair of gloves, a tube of ecological toothpaste, and a Mother’s Day card for my granny.

Once back home, I washed more laundry. I called Eleclya and asked her if I can come for a sleepover next Wednesday, and also made the weekly phone call to my granny.

In the evening, I started to feel a bit weird. I took my evening medicine and the last biotin supplement of the day and went to bed even if I had plenty of stuff to do.
I took a depression shower and went back to bed.

Tomorrow I need to wash my hair; I won’t take a full shower, just wash and condition my hair. I won’t use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment for a while because I am out of facial cleaner, toner, and peeling cream.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment. I will iron the laundry and wash the dishes.
After that, I will go visit an art museum, and then I will go to Girls’ House and then to the Monday Evening group.