December 2nd, 2019


A meh day.

I managed to stay awake late into the night. I had taken my evening medicine, but I was also having such a good time that I didn’t feel like settling down and going to sleep.

About at half past one o’clock in the morning I finally changed into a nightie and went to bed. I started feeling anxious, so I had to take a tranquilizer.
I had a weird feeling; I wanted to fall asleep immediately, but when I didn’t, I became even more anxious.

I didn’t feel like updating my journal on Friday, but anyway, I didn’t receive my weekly allowance from my social worker by then. I am supposed to receive it every Friday.
I called my guardian of interest, and she said it was probably the bank’s fault because she had transferred the money into my account like every Friday morning. I went to the bank and asked them about it, the nice clerk worked on the problem while I looked at Transformers yaoi on my Tumblr app.
I called my mother and asked for help, she forked over some money and didn’t seem too angry.

Last night I had dreams about the second challenge in the movie Pan’s Labyrinth; walking past the lavish banquet without eating anything so as not to wake the Pale Man.
In another dream, I disposed of some of my junior high school books and found some Easter stationery. In yet another dream, I lived in a luxurious apartment and saw that there was a distinct rainbow in the sky. I went to the balcony to take a photo of it with my smartphone and wondered why there was a young boy in my balcony. He told me that it was actually his family’s balcony, and his parents wondered why I was visiting their apartment. I told them it’s alright because I am going to wake up soon.

When I finally woke up, it was too early; about half past eight o’clock in the morning. I slept a bit later, got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, and then I got dressed.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can.
I knew I had promised to visit the library and take a bag of old stuff to the charity box, but I forgot.

I took a bus to my parents’ home; mom answered the door and dad was home as well. He gave me the weekly allowance.
I drank orange juice, coffee, and chocolate soymilk, and ate cherry tomatoes and blue cheese.

Later mom went for a walk and dad went to play football with his team. I was left alone, but I didn’t mind. I took a shower and washed my hair.
I left after mom came home because I didn’t want to hear her complain about my joblessness.

I took a bus back home, went to the shopping mall and bought six Christmas cards.

I went back home and started working on the cards. I still have twenty- nine cards left to buy.

I fetched the laundry from the drying room and washed another three loads, and then I took out the recycling.

It was only half past six o’clock in the evening, and my internal clock was about nine o’clock in the evening. I still found a reason to be happy; at least I still had plenty of hours to do anything I pleased before going to bed!

I decided to head to downtown to the parish. I took a train to downtown, and once at the parish, I ate some chocolate squares and chitchatted with the workers.

Later that day I caught a train back home, on the train there was this drunken man who kept on asking people if they can borrow him a recharger for his smartphone. I borrowed mine, and he kept on thanking me in a slurry voice. When his smartphone was recharging, he called his girlfriend and asked her if she can come to the Quarry City train station and give him a ride.
We talked about stuff, he said he was two teenage children, son and daughter, and his daughter is a straight A student. He was really nice and didn’t come off as creepy.
Once at the train station, he got off and told me to take care.

I took a bus back home, and did a little bit of this and that.

Later in the evening, Mirette came home from her trip to Tallinn.

Tomorrow I will probably receive my weekly allowance. If I won’t, I shall be bummed out.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past one o’clock in the afternoon.
After the appointment, I will leave at the same time and go out for errands; visit the health center to ask why my second painkiller prescription has not been renewed; visit the library to fetch my requests and volunteer as a reader in the knitting & novel reading group; mail a few greeting cards; and as for the money, I will order a ticket to the Dog Fair, pay my Spotify Premium subscription, pay Candy for a commission, and buy a package of strong biotin supplements from the pharmacy. As for the rest of the money, I will buy Christmas cards.

(no subject)

Last night I had a dream where I died and went to Heaven. There were beautiful landscapes and lovely music.
In another dream, I took part in growing a community garden.

I woke up early and checked my online bank account; I still hadn’t received my weekly allowance.

I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplements, and changed from my nightie into a bathrobe.

Later that day, my care worker came for the weekly appointment. I washed the dishes and then I put on clothes and did the skincare routine while Mirette kept her company.

We agreed to have the next appointment on next week’s Monday at half past one o’clock in the afternoon; we also agreed to have another appointment on December 23rd.

We left at the same time and took the same train to downtown. I went to the parish and had my fill of the coffee.
I kept on logging into my online bank account app, until I had finally received the money. I paid a commission to Candy and renewed my Spotify Premium subscription.

I went to a health shop and bought their strongest biotin supplement, and then I went to a café and downloaded their free discount app. I also bought a tofu- hummus salad.

I took a train back home and went to a shopping mall. I bought biodegradable band- aids, soy milk, iced coffee, a Christmassy hairband, ecological toothpaste, and two lip balms.

I went back home, put everything to their rightful places, and washed more laundry. I took it downstairs to the drying room, and took the dry laundry off the drying rack.
The bathroom ceiling is full of brown stains, I think they come from the condensation. I won’t dry my laundry on the drying racks anymore, especially not in the bathroom; except for my underwear.

About at eight o’clock in the evening, I took my evening medicine, brushed my teeth, put lotion on my skin and eye cream on my eyelids.
I started feeling anxious, so I took an Oxamin tranquilizer.

For the past couple of weeks, in the evenings I may get these sudden urges to improve my wellbeing; today it was about straightening my posture.

Tomorrow I will call the psychiatric center and ask them if the hobby group is held today.
I will go to Twinkle café.

On Wednesday, I will go to the knitting group at the parish, and in the evening I will go to the knitting & novel reading group at a library.

On Thursday, I will go to an Independence day party, and then to the first anniversary of a library downtown. In the evening, I will go to the church group.

On Friday, I will go see my parents. My father will give Christmas money, I will buy the rest of the Christmas cards with it.

On Saturday, I will go to Sadie’s Christmas party.

On Sunday, I will go to the Dog Fair. After that, I will go visit my parents.