star

A nice day!

I woke up early in the morning two times to the need to pee.
I didn’t bother getting up until just before eleven o’clock in the morning, when my smartphone alarm was supposed to ring. it’s always the same; even if I wake up early, I won’t be able to get up until my alarm clock rings.

I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement and made coffee.

I took a shower, washed and conditioned my hair, did the 12- step Korean skincare regiment, put on skin cream and deodorant, got dressed, and put on a necklace.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said yes. I was already out of my apartment, out of the hallway, on the street when I realized I had forgotten to bring the detachable parts of my fridge that my mother was supposed to wash in the dishwasher. I went back home, took them out of the fridge and put them into a shopping bag, and still made it to the bus.

Once at my parents’ home, mom washed the parts in the dishwasher, gave me 40 euros, and made coffee.

I walked to the shopping mall and went to the convenience store to recharge my travel card.
I took a train to Stick City and went to the Club House. The orientation was actually nice enough, and we had a May Day party at the same time.
I learned that if you become a member of the Club House, you can get discount from the local beautician. That may be the only reason I am going to join it.

After that, I took a train to downtown and went to Girls’ House for the May Day party. Once there, I had a good time and talked with the others and drank coffee.

After the party, I traveled back to my parents’ home to pick up the fridge parts that had been washed, and also pick up my scarf that I had forgotten there.
I had to leave early so that my dad wouldn’t start yelling at me.

I took a bus back to my home town and went to the supermarket to buy name- day cards and postage stamps.

Once back home, I started working on the cards.
In the evening, I took my medicine and drank too much coffee.

I felt weird. I got the shakes and felt like I am going to start screaming uncontrollably at any moment. I took one anti- anxiety pill and a depression shower, and then I went to bed.

Mirette came home about at midnight, she had been at a barbeque party with Rige.
star

Which reminds me

Yesterday me and Mirette went to the Ice Cream & Chocolate festival. My favorites were lingonberry chocolate, mint chocolate ice cream, and pine needle ice cream.
After the festival, there was a disco and we danced like brainless budgies.
I was early to leave, I went to visit my parents so that I could collect my father’s weekly allowance.

I bought a couple of greeting cards; one “Congratulations for the Graduation” for a friend in New Zealand who became a nurse, and a “Sorry for your loss” card for Lita whose mother died recently.
Once back home, I washed two loads of laundry.

Last night I went to bed feeling a bit weird; I took one of my anti- anxiety pills, I am not sure how to describe how it made me feel.

I had a dream where I went to visit the White House, I marched along the corridors singing the Estonian song Tere Perestroika.
I another dream I was forced to be a Handmaid, and I chose to commit suicide by drowning.
I woke up in the same position I drowned in.

I got up at noon, took my morning medicine and biotin, and didn’t bother with having a wash. I just slathered deodorant into my armpits and basic lotion on my face and got dressed. And drank too much coffee. I felt a bit weird; I knew I would feel mentally better if I had proper nutrition and exercised more, just popping pills isn’t going to help.

Later that day my care worker came for the weekly appointment. I didn’t bother with washing the dishes or ironing the laundry.

In the afternoon we made a new appointment for next week and then we left at the same time.

I went to the supermarket and bought a packet of Karelian pies, and then took a bus to downtown.
I could have walked to Girls’ House, but it was freezing cold outside and I didn’t want to catch the flu, so I took a subway.

Once at Pasture Cape, I went to visit an eco- market and then a thrift store. I went to Girls’ House, had some cocoa and talked with the others.

After I left, I took a tram to Pole City and went to the Monday Evening Group in Twinkle Café. I drank cocoa there as well, and ate some cherry tomatoes.
After that, I caught another tram back to downtown and went to a few shops, looking for some gifts for Eleclya who has her 31st birthday tomorrow.
I sent the cards I had bought yesterday, and then I caught a train back home.
I’m glad there are free bathrooms in the trains, I had to take a pee and poop.

Once at my home town, I went back home.
I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day and started planning what I should do for the rest of the evening.
I don’t feel like ironing the laundry, or washing the dishes, or having a proper wash.

Tomorrow I have to get up early; I have to take a shower, wash my hair, and use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment, brush my teeth, and put on neat clothes.
I agreed with my mother that I am going to take the plastic vegetable box and other removable stuff out of my fridge and take them to my parents’ home and wash them in their dishwasher.
After that, I am going to travel to Stick City and go to the Club House, which is a place for people with mental illnesses. I will have an appointment there at half past one o’clock in the afternoon.
After that, I will go to the May Day party in Girls’ House, and then I will do some discreet shopping.

On Wednesday, me and Mirette will celebrate May Day.

On Thursday, we will go to movies to see Avengers: Endgame.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will go to a beautician for a manicure, buy groceries and greeting cards and postage stamps.
In the evening I will go to the sauna.

On Saturday I will go visit Mirette; she will move out of her apartment, and wants to hold a house- leaving party, the opposite of a house- warming party.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and chin hairs and put on a face mask.
I will take the plastic waste to recycling when I go visit my parents. I will call my granny, and collect the weekly allowance.
star

Pain pills

My right shoulder has started hurting again. I guess the cortisone is wearing off. Weird, I only skipped taking my pain medicine for a day after the prescription wasn't renewed, but now I am using them again.

I had a dream where I was in Eleclya's home town. It was a starry winter night, I was wandering outside in normal clothes except I wasn't wearing a top, only a dirty stretched out bralette I had when I was a teenager and had smaller honkers. Anyway, I got a bright idea; I called my mom even if it was midnight, and we went to a department store to buy me a t- shirt, and we were breezily chatting along like mom and daughter.

I woke up, looked at the clock on my smartphone, and decided to get up.
I took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day, and made the first coffee of the day.

I got dressed, washed my face and put toner, serum, eye cream, and lotion on it.

I received money today, so I ordered a ticket to the Ice Cream & Chocolate festival on Sunday, paid my monthly gym member membership fee, and also paid my Spotify Premium subscription.

I went to the appointment at the psychiatric center. It was a bit grey and chilly outside, but I didn't feel cold.

Once at the clinic, I told the receptionist that I was supposed to have an appointment today with the doctor. The receptionist sighed and said that the doctor has screwed up again, he hasn't made any notifications about an appointment. Nevertheless, I went to the waiting room and after a while, my mother showed up. She gave me a piece of raspberry chocolate.

During the appointment, the dunderhead doctor prescribed me some medicine to help my evening anxiety, and also told me that I can reduce the amount of Ketipinor in my evening medicine from three pills to two pills.
My mom complained that I sleep too much, and she also complained about how I never study or work.

I went to the shopping mall and withdrew the rest of the cash. I went to a café and bought a goat cheese bagel and a mug of cocoa with marshmallows. I knew I could have spent the money on groceries, or at least tipped the waiter, but I didn't bother.

When I went back home, it started raining. Once back home, I took off my shoes and left my backpack on the floor and didn't even take off my hoodie; I went to bed and had a two- hour depression nap.
I woke up feeling like nothing at all. Not sad or angry or happy, I popped to the shopping mall to buy some sugar and oat milk, and once back home, I made some coffee.

Later in the evening, I left and took a bus to downtown. I was heading to the Red Cross youth group.

Once at downtown, I went to the Red Cross office. I had a good time at the group, chatting with others and eating plenty of treats.
Later in the evening, I left and went to the shopping mall to look at clothing shops. I really should buy new clothes soon.
I also went to the stationery shop and bought three postage stamps; one for a card outside Finland, and two for Finnish mail.

I traveled back home, once there I felt happy.
I took my evening medicine sans one Ketipinor, hoping the change would help me get up tomorrow morning.

I am feeling rather speedy and manic, but I don't feel anxious at all.

Tomorrow I will go to Eleclya's 31st birthday party, after that Mirette will come to my home for a sleepover.

On Sunday, I will go to the Ice Cream & Chocolate festival, and I will also go visit my parents. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will also call my granny. 
star

Dear @Brad,

Bless your heart for creating such an amazing website. When I was a troubled dewy- faced high school freshman in and an angsty teenager extraordinaire in 2004, I created my first blog selma5678.
It helped me get in contact with other troubled teenagers, and make me feel like I am not alone in this world. I made plenty of amazing friends.
LiveJournal has been my lifeline ever since. My blog entries have grown into a story of hurt and healing.

Thank you for your service and devotion, and here's to another 20 years.

With lots of love,
kattidya 
Tags:
star

Having a good time

On Thursday I used a repairing hair mask for the first time in a while; it made my hair a tad bit flat after it was dry, I guess I used too much of it.
I went to see my mother who gave me the monthly hundred euros, I had also received the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest; I was supposed to receive them later this week but there will be bank holidays due to Easter.
I went shopping and bought a Gillette shaving blade; I want to support Gillette due to their advertisements concerning positive masculinity and body positivity. I also bought a packet of disposable shaving blades for my friends during sleepovers.
I also bought two kinds of eye cream, one for my bathroom and one for my backpack.
Later that day, my friend Mirette came for a visit.
We went thrift store prowling, and then we went to a Burger King where I ate a portion of French fries and a double halloumi burger. Then we went to a milkshake bar where I taste- tested a cherry milkshake and a cookie dough milkshake.
By then we were so full of delicious food that we both joked that soon we are going to get a membership card to Weight Watchers!
Once back home, I was tired but still managed to do all the evening routines. I went to bed feeling happy and content.

On Friday, I mainly chilled inside all day. I wanted to go for a walk, but I was gripped by anxiety.
Mirette came for a sleepover.

Today we went to a karaoke party hosted by Rige. First we went to visit Eleclya, Berry and Suavecita came as well.

I am a bit worried about Berry; she said today that she hates herself and the way her body looks because no man except for creeps wants her. I tried my best to convince her that she is gorgeous and shouldn’t validate herself through men’s eyes.

Once at Rige’s home, we had a good time and I sang a famous Finnish song. I also ate plenty of treats.

I was the first to leave; I took a bus to another part of my home town and then a train. I saw plenty of gorgeous landscapes and a gorgeous sundown.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day, brushed my teeth and put on a clean nightie.

Tomorrow I will take a shower and wash my hair, and I will also put on a face mask and shave my armpits and chin pubes.
I will ride my bicycle to my parents’ home. I will take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there.
Once at my parents’ home, my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.
star

A nice enough day

Last night I had a dream about, well, stuff. I don't remember it correctly.

I got up, took my morning medicine and the first biotin supplement of the day. I took a shower and washed my hair and did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment, and got dressed.

Later when everyone Mirette and Elysion were up as well, we went out. We went to the newsagent so Elysion could get a train ticket, and then took a train to downtown.

We went to a burger joint. I had received money today, so I bought two big portions of French fries.
After we were done lunching, we went to the stationery shop where I bought the last ten Easter cards that I am going to mail this year. I also bought Elysion and Mirette their respective Easter cards.

We went to the long- distance bus terminal to hang out. I wrote the receiver's and sender's addresses on the cards, and I didn't need to put postage stamps on them because they were those kind of cards that have their postage fees paid by a charitable company such as Red Cross.

I waited for Elysion's bus to arrive. After she left, I took a train back to my home town.
Once back home, my care worker came for the weekly appointment.
I gave her an Easter card as well. I started washing the huge load of dishes, and I managed to wash them all but I did a pretty shoddy job because I was distracted by my delusions.

I didn't bother with ironing the huge pile of laundry because the delusions I suffered during the dishes took away all of my energy. For the rest of the appointment, we just talked.

After the appointment, we left at the same time. I traveled to Girls' House, where I drank a few cups of cocoa and talked with Mirette and the other girls.
After that, I took a tram to another part of the town and went to the Monday Evening Group in the same premises where Twinkle cafe is held.
I had a good time, eating treats and chatting with the others.

After the group, I took a tram to downtown and then a bus back to my home town.
I went to the supermarket and bought some greeting cards.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day, started working on the greeting cards, ate the rest of the Easter candy, took a depression shower, and washed a load of laundry.
star

My friends are awesome

Last night I had weird dreams about this and that, I really don’t feel like writing about them as exquisitely as I wrote yesterday.

I woke up early when my Messenger alerted me. My closest friends had already started their group chat.

I got up at noon, took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day. I had coffee for breakfast, washed my face and put lotion on it, and got dressed.

Later that day, I went to see Eleclya just like we had agreed. I took a train to her home town.
Once at Eleclya’s home, Suavecita arrived as well. We ate the peppermint meringues and drank coffee.
Torsti the bunny kept nibbling on my backpack straps.

Later that day we left at the same time, the other girls were heading to a utility shop to buy new lightbulbs and then went for a brisk evening walk to catch Pokémon.
I took a bus back to my home town, and went to the youth group at the new church.
I had a good time, talked with others, and ate plenty of treats.

I went to the shopping mall to take some discarded shopping carts to the shopping cart collection area and looked at Easter cards I could buy. I am sending the last batch of the Easter cards next week.

Once back at home, I had received junk mail even if I have a notification on the door about junk mail! And I also received a magazine that was supposed to be sent to someone who lived in this apartment before me. I will take it to the post office as soon as possible.

I dabbed lotion on my face and brushed my hair. In the evening, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin supplement of the day. I sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils and brushed my teeth.
I washed a load of laundry.

I have an unusually large, hard pimple on my collarbone. I have let it ripen for a few days and today I tried to pop it, but nothing but blood comes out. I also have a load of whiteheads on my chin, they are fun to pop.

Tomorrow I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will order a PDF ticket to the coffee festival on Sunday.
I will go see my mother, she promised to give me extra money for the party. I will also ride my bicycle back home now that my brother has fixed it.
I will go shopping and buy two blankets and pillows for the two sleepover visitors. I will also buy the treats that I am going to serve at the Easter party; chocolate eggs, marshmallows peeps, jelly beans, blueberries, grapes, and cucumbers and carrots to slice and dip into sauce; and a box of cocoa powder and coffee grounds, and also oat milk, lactose- free milk, and whole milk.
Elysion will come for a sleepover, we will go to the sauna together. I will wash my hair and use the new bar of organic soap that I had bought.

On Saturday, I will tidy up my apartment before the guests arrive.

On Sunday, I will go vote in the elections, then go to the coffee festival with Mirette. In the evening, I will go see my parents so that my father can give me the weekly allowance.
star

Sheesh, what kind of dreams I had!

Last night when I went to bed, I had a slight anxiety attack. It was there, but it wasn't as bad as usual.

I realized that one way of coping with my physical and mental ailments is that I am trying to figure out a way to cure them; my joints have been a bit stiff, is there a special exercise or stretching method that could help them? I'm having an anxiety attack, could eating a special mixture of nutrients help it?

When I went to bed, I found myself thinking that I am glad that tomorrow is a new day.

I had weird dreams. In one of them, I was in a city near my current home town, and there was a car tire factory that had exploded. It spread dangerous gas or something that looked like the symbiote from Venom, and it got stuck into people's bodies.
The government soldiers took us into abandoned factories and shot everyone who had been infected, and when they tried shooting me, I burst into tears and I was spared, somehow.
In the same dream, me and some other people found refugee in an abandoned shopping mall. I was living the best time of my life, I could lunch in a Chinese restaurant, go to a cosmetics shop to pick up face cream, and read books in a stationery shop. The society outside was in ruins and the air was dangerous to breathe, while I enjoyed luxurious life style.
In the same dream, me and a young feral man teamed up and went to my parents' home because I wanted to pick up some of my belongings. In the same dream, I had received a Facebook message from someone named Benjamin Cumberbatch who wanted to meet me on Saturday at a shopping center downtown; he explained that he was Benedict Cumberbatch and he wanted to do some sort of charitable work by bringing clean drinking water to the area destroyed by the factory explosion. I realized that it was only a small part of the town that was affected, and there was life outside it.

In another dream, I was in a forest in my mother's home town with Mick "the Sniper" Mundy from the first- person shooter game Team Fortress 2.
I walked away from him and ended up in a burial site. There was a grave where you could step on to hear a piece of music composed by the person, and stuff like that.

In yet another dream, me and my three best friends Mirette, Suavecita, and Eleclya were in a ski lift that looked like a level from the Crash Bandicoot games.

I woke up early, but decided not to get up because my dreams were so nice. And also, I had run out of milk and sugar, so I couldn't make coffee.

I got up anyway, took my morning medicine and the first biotin supplement. I got dressed and washed my face.

When I was having a wash, I heard my mail slot clatter. I went to check it out, and what do you know! I had received about half of all the Easter cards I had mailed. I guess it is because I put the return address stickers on them as well; I decided to take them to the postal office today.

I went to the church today, I had an appointment with a priest. We talked about religious stuff over a cup of coffee.

After that, I went to the shopping mall and bought an orange, a carton of lactose- free milk, and a bag of sugar.
I went to the library to pick up my requests.

Once back home, I made coffee, ate the orange, took the laundry off the drying rack, folded it and put it to the cupboard, except for the ones that are going to be ironed. I took the second biotin .
I called Eleclya and asked her if I can come over, she said Odessa was also visiting. They said it's alright for me to come over.

I took a bus to the postal office because it was a tad bit chilly outside and I didn't feel like walking. I re- mailed all the cards, and then I took a bus to Eleclya's home town.
Eleclya texted me and told me I cannot come after all, because she has some men coming over.

I visited a grocery shop to buy a mint chocolate truffle bar, and then I took a bus back home. I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can.

Once at my parents' home, both mom and dad and also my brother were home. My brother is staying for a couple of days because there is a renovation at his apartment.

Mom made me cocoa, I also ate a handful of cherry tomatoes, some feta cheese, and a couple of sandwiches. Along with the cocoa, I drank orange juice.

Later that day, I took a bus back to my home town. I took some discarded trolleys to the supermarket.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin supplement of the day. I brushed my hair and put three kinds of lotion on my face, and changed into a nightie.

I clicked all the daily donation buttons on Greater Good, and then I played Free Rice until my donation total reached 28,000 grains of rice.

Tomorrow I will go visit Eleclya, Suavecita will be there as well. After that, I will go to the youth group at the local church.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance. I will pay for my Microsoft Word subscription, and order a ticket to the coffee festival.
I will buy two blankets and two pillows for my sleepover visitors. I will also buy treats for the Easter party.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna.

On Saturday, I will host an Easter party at my home. I need to tidy up before the guests arrive.

On Sunday, I will go to the coffee festival with Mirette.
star

Just another Monday :D

I was already awake at six o’clock in the morning and thought about getting up. But then I reasoned that I wouldn’t find anything special to do, so I just kept on sleeping.
I got up at nine o’clock, and I was achy all over and in a foul mood. I went to the bathroom, took my morning medicine and the first biotin supplement of the day, and went to back to bed.

I got up again about at midday, washed the gunky sleep out of my eyes, got dressed, and went out. I was supposed to go to the nearest junior high to vote in the elections, but there was a normal school day, and there was also a notification that no other people than the students were allowed in.
Later that day I realized that the actual voting day is on Sunday this week.

On my way back home, I mailed the Easter cards. I still need to buy twelve of the ones I am supposed to mail, and also the ones that I am supposed to give from hand to hand.

I went back home and washed a load of laundry.
When my care worker came for the weekly appointment, I just hung the laundry but didn’t bother with washing the dishes or ironing the laundry. I just talked with her.
We made a new appointment on Wednesday, on the week after next week.
After she left, I stayed inside and wrote into my diary.

I went out and visited the shopping mall to buy a big bar of salmiakki chocolate. I took a bus to another part of the neighboring town and took a subway to Pasture Cape. Once there, I visited the eco- market and planned on buying some stuff. I also visited the nearest thrift store that has a new selection, and I almost fainted when I saw all the amazing clothes! When I get my monthly allowance, I am going to go there to buy all of the clothes I swooned at.

I went to Girls’ House, talked to Mirette a little bit, and then I left because I was heading to the Monday Evening group.
I took a tram to Pole City, once there I went to the place. Raija was there as well.

I made myself a sandwich and a cup of cocoa, and also ate some cherry tomatoes. I talked with the others.

When it was time to leave, I took a tram to downtown and went to a shopping mall to look for new clothes and jewelry, and also thought of buying some cute stuff for Zoya.

I took a bus back to my home town. Once back home, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day, and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.
I made raspberry & rose petal tea for supper.

Tomorrow I will wash my hair and use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
If it has not snowed during the night, I will walk- push my bicycle to my parents’ home so that my dad can fix it. My mom will give me money and a spool of knitting yarn.
I will go to a stationery shop to buy greeting cards and postage stamps.
I will go to Twinkle café and give Raija and Mella their own Easter cards.
I have to leave early because I am going to a knitting & novel reading group in the library in Flux Island.

On Wednesday, I will go visit a priest in the local church. We will talk about religious stuff.
In the evening, I will go to movies to see Blackkklansman.

On Thursday, I will go visit my favorite dressmaker to bring them an Easter card. I will also go visit Perkele and give him and his family a card as well.
In the evening, I will go to the youth group at the same church.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will order a ticket to a coffee festival and also pay for my Microsoft Word subscription.
I will go shopping and buy two blankets and pillows for my sleepover visitors, and also Easter party treats and some festive paper plates.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna.

On Saturday, I will tidy up my apartment before the party guests arrive. Elysion and Mirette will have a sleepover at my home.

On Sunday, I will go to the coffee festival with Mirette. I will also go visit my parents so that my father can give me the weekly allowance. I will buy Easter cards.
star

My plans for Monday, April 8th - Sunday, April 14th

Monday, April 8th:
I will go to the junior high school nearby to vote in the parliamentary elections. On my way there, I will mail all the Easter cards and a few other greeting cards as well.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at twenty minutes to three o’clock in the afternoon (2:40 pm), I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit. I also have to remember to give the worker an Easter card as well.
After the appointment, I will hoover the floor.
I will go to Girls’ House, and then to the Monday Evening group.
At some part of the day, I will do stretches, play the beta version of Free Rice until I have donated 1,000 grains of rice, and click all the donation buttons on Greater Good.

Tuesday, April 9th:
The first thing to do in the morning is to wash my hair and use the 12- step Korean skincare regiment, so I will look representable.
I will go visit my parents, so my mother can give me the weekly allowance. I will walk there and back.
I will buy a few greeting cards and postage stamps so I can “break” the money, and then I will go to Twinkle café. I will give Mella and Raija their own Easter cards, and I also have to remember to pay the voluntary buffet payment.
I won’t stay long, because I will go to a knitting & novel reading group in a library in the eastern part of the town.
At home, I will hoover the floor and wash the dishes, if there are any to be washed. Along with that, I will do the usual stretches and make the usual free donations.

Wednesday, April 10th:
I will go visit a priest in the local church at three o’clock in the afternoon. I will talk with her about my religious beliefs over a cup of coffee.
I will go to the natatorium and swim a few laps.
Once back home, I will do the same stuff; hoover the floor, wash the dishes if there are any, click all the donation buttons, and I will probably do the stretches before leaving to the natatorium.

Thursday, April 11th:
I will go to Horror Shop to give Perkele an Easter card, then I will go to my favorite dressmaker and give the workers an Easter card as well.
I will go to the youth group at the local church.
At some point of the day, I will hoover the floor, wash the dishes, make the donations, and do stretches.

Friday, April 12th:
I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. The first thing to do is to order a ticket to the Helsinki Coffee Festival.
I will buy four pillows and blankets for my sleepover visitors, and the rest of the money will be spent on Easter party treats; chocolate eggs, marshmallow peeps, jelly beans, and something healthy like grapes, berries, vegan sour cream, dip powder, and cucumbers and carrots that I am going to slice and turn into dipsticks. I also have to buy Easter- themed paper cups and plates, and some decorations.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna.
Along with that, I will wash the dishes and hoover the floor, do stretches, and make the usual donations.
I also need to wash the pillows and blankets and take them to the drying room.

Saturday, April 13th:
I will host an Easter party in my home.
Before that, I will tidy up my apartment; hoover the floor and the sofa- bed, fetch the blankets and pillows from the drying room, take out the recycling, and set the serving table.
I have invited all my closest friends, and some of them will have a sleepover at my home.

Sunday, April 14th:
I will shave my armpits and my chin fluffs, and put on a face mask.
I will go to the Helsinki Coffee Festival with Mirette.
In the evening, I will go visit my parents and walk- push my bicycle there, so my dad can tune it up.
Once back home, I will wash the dishes and hoover the floor, do stretches, and do the daily donations. 
Tags:
star

Back home again! ^_^

I woke up early, got up, took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day. I drank coffee and had rice porridge for breakfast.

I was barely out of my nightie when granny told me to go for a walk. I walked around the neighborhood in a bad mood and came back to granny’s home for lunch.

Later that day, granny gave me a tenner, talked about God and Jesus and praying, and I was really glad when I finally left. I sure love my granny very, very much, but I wouldn’t like to live with her for a long time.

The omnibus was late, as usual. On my way back to the metropolitan area, I just looked out of the bus window.

Once at the bus station, I went to the nearest supermarket and bought a bottle of this new caramel popcorn flavored iced coffee, a carton of soy milk, and a four- pack of chocolate eggs filled with cream.

While waiting for the bus, I drank the iced coffee and ate the chocolate eggs. The iced coffee tasted exactly like caramel popcorn, and the chocolate eggs were the most scrumptious thing after granny’s pancakes.

I took a bus back to my home town, on the bus I breathed the special sigh of relief that I usually breathe when I arrive home when I have been away for a long time.

Once back at home, I sorted out my mail. I had received an Easter letter from a Norwegian Tumblr friend and pen pal, it was so lovely and awesome! Along with the paper letter, I got three pieces of Easter chocolate, a tea bag (green tea flavored with raspberry and rose petals), an Easter card and some Easter stickers. It made me feel so warm in my heart.
I unpacked my suitcase, washed a load of laundry, sorted out the trash, took the laundry off the drying rack and folded it.

In the evening I took my evening medicine and today’s last biotin, sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils, brushed my teeth, washed my face, put lotion on my skin, and put on a clean nightie.

Tomorrow I will go to the nearby junior high to vote in the elections. I will also mail the Easter cards.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at twenty minutes to three o’clock in the afternoon, I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit. I also need to hoover the floor.
After the appointment, I will go visit Girls’ House, and then I will go to the Monday Group.
I also have to remember to take out the biological waste, and also remember to take out all the trash before leaving for a journey, especially the biological one. It has started to smell pretty badly.
star

Another day at granny's

Last night I had a dream about the Doctor Who episode Angels Take Manhattan; it was kind of a re- imagination of said episode because in that dream, both Rory and Amy looked at the eleventh Doctor at the same time, smiled, and then died. The dream was so sad and beautiful that I almost woke up crying.
I had many other dreams; in one of them, I hosted an Easter party at my parents’ home that looked more like a lake house or the holiday resort where me and my mother used to go when I was a kid. I didn’t have enough money to buy all the Easter party treats, but a lot of visitors turned up.
In another dream, I was a paranormal investigator who investigated an abandoned school building with a “smile room” dominated by an imp who wanted to make everyone laugh. In the same dream, I investigated banshees in the Scottish moors and jackalopes in New Jersey.

I woke up early, fell back asleep, and when I woke up again and slowly opened my eyes. There were black squiggles dancing in front of my eyes, it looked like someone had stamped the ceiling with ink in the same repetitive text. I tried to read it, but then I got sick of it and got up.

I took my morning medicine and the first biotin supplement of the day. For breakfast I had muesli, a heart- shaped sandwich, and coffee.
I sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils, obeying granny’s advice; blocked my other nostrils, sprayed two sprays into the other and inhaled deeply; then the same to the other nostril.
I washed my face and put on face serum and cold cream, dabbed Miniderm on my skin, brushed my teeth, put my hair on plait, ironed my purple Dirndl dress and hung it on a coat hanger.

Granny went to the public swimming pool for water aerobics, I stayed at her home. I made some more coffee.

I received money today. I made a donation to Save The Children, paid for the Doctor Who DVD I had borrowed from the library and misplaced, and then I also paid for my Netflix subscription.

After granny came home, we had lunch, and then I went out. I went to the library to return a stack of books and DVDs, and then I went to the supermarket and bought four (4) Easter cards. Now I need to buy twelve (12) mailable cards, and then the ones I am going to hand out to my friends.

Once back at granny’s home, I spent most of the day inside, scrolling through my Facebook feed and Tumblr dashboard. I also clicked all the donation buttons on Greater Good, both on my laptop and smartphone, and played the beta version of Free Rice until my donation total reached 20,000 grains of rice.

In the evening I went out again, I wanted to visit the culture center but it was closed. I will go there tomorrow.

Once back at granny’s home, she had made pancakes. They had some green bits stuck at them, like parsley, but I didn’t say anything.

I ran out of knitting yarn, and my fingers are already itching to continue knitting quilts for the poor and unfortunate souls.
I called my mother and asked her if she could buy me more knitting yarn, preferably the stripy kind because I like it so much. I also asked her if she could buy me a new pair of shoes, because it’s spring here in Finland and I need a pair of proper shoes for the non- snowy season.

I made an appointment for having my nails and eyebrows done.
I also texted my father and asked him if he could fix my bicycle.

In the evening, I got an anxiety attack, but went to sleep nonetheless.

Tomorrow I will start packing for my journey back to the metropolitan area. I will go to the culture center, and then I will go to sauna with granny. I need to wash my hair properly, so I will look representable when I go back home.

On Sunday, I will go back home. My omnibus leaves at ten past four o’clock in the afternoon and will arrive to Helsinki at half past six o’clock in the evening. I will take a train back home.
Once there, I will unpack my suitcase, wash all the dirty clothes that I wore during my vacation, put on a face mask, sort out the recycling, stuff like that.
I will walk to my parents’ home, so my dad can give me the weekly allowance. I will buy groceries.
star

I got my period, finally

Last night I had a dream where I was in a church and spoke in tongues and ripped my shirt, just to annoy the fundies.
In another dream, I was in an eco- market and tried to buy spaghetti in bulk so I could have at least something to eat, but it was too expensive.
In another dream, I was kept in a laboratory like Eleven in the Netflix series Stranger Things. I was given a jam bun to eat, but I noticed it was sentient and died immediately after I had licked the icing off. I said, “It has given up its will to live”, and I was immediately asked to explain what it means to “give up”. It was gruesome.

I got up in the morning, took my medicine and the first biotin supplement of the day. I washed my face and dabbed lotion on my skin and got dressed.
Granny went to the gym, I stayed inside all day surfing on the Internet and drinking coffee and quarreling with my delusions.

After granny came home, I helped her put the groceries into the fridge and lied that I had gone for a walk around the two cemeteries downtown. She believed me, and I hope she never finds out the truth, or the fact that I drank five cups of coffee in one go. She seems to be worried about my health and is constantly telling me what I should eat and how I should exercise; sometimes it’s annoying but I know all she means is good.

I have taken up the habit of using the nasal spray Nasonex, the one prescribed by the doctor, in the mornings as well, even if my doctor told me to use it in the evenings. But my granny told me to use it in the mornings as well, and I don’t have enough balls to disagree with her. Let’s see what happens, if I don’t become a 50- feet- tall cactus with tentacles instead of arms by midnight, I guess I am doing just fine.

I got my period today. About time, I thought I had turned into a man.

Every time I sneeze, I have bloody boogers coming out of my nose. I guess I can expel period blood both ways.

I have been in a bad mood all day. I can no longer hold up this “only good vibes and positive thoughts” façade.

In the afternoon, I helped granny cook cabbage stew for dinner.
After that, I remembered my diet and went walkabout on the lakeshore. I walked out of town, and then I headed back. I was in a bad mood and kept on quarreling with my delusions.
Once back at granny’s home, I was in a slightly better mood. I could get used to dieting; I am not actually going to be “heroin chic” thin, just shed all the excess weight and become healthier in body and mind. I need to exercise in order to cope with my depression and anxiety, and keep my bodily functions healthy, and improve my mood.

As for the rest of the day, I finished knitting the grandma square. I played FreeRice until my donation total reached 19,000 grains of rice.

For supper, I had a bowl of raspberries, half on an apple, and two cherry tomatoes. I also took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day, and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

I had an anxiety attack; I felt like I was falling apart and panicking, but I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason for it.

Tomorrow I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest, I will buy the rest of the Easter cards from the local supermarket and mail two greeting cards.
I also have to return the books and DVDs to the local library.

On Friday, I will start a- packing for my journey back home, and also go to the sauna with granny so I can wash my hair. That way, I will look representable when I go back to the metropolitan area.

On Sunday, I will go back home. My omnibus leaves at ten minutes past four o’clock in the afternoon.
I could take a bus or a train back to my home town; the bus takes a longer time, but it leaves right from the station next to the omnibus station. But then again, when I walk to the train station in another part of the town and haul my luggage bag, I get plenty of exercise.
Once back at my home, I will put on a Rosy Cheeks face mask, unpack my luggage and set a load of laundry to wash, and then walk to my parents’ home and back to collect the weekly allowance.
After that, I will do some discreet grocery shopping.
star

Still doin' good

Last night I had plenty of weird dreams; I was fighting with the REDs from the first- person shooter game Team Fortress 2 against Silent Hill monsters.
In another dream, I went to a funfair and played a game and won a Pikachu plushy doll and a bottle of aloe vera water.
The dreams felt like usual dreams, they didn’t feel too realistic or like I knew I was dreaming. It felt like watching TV.

I woke up when granny came to my bedroom looking for clean towels from the cupboards. I didn’t know what the time was because granny hadn’t changed all the old- fashioned clocks in her apartment (we transferred to daylight savings time yesterday; my laptop and smartphone change the time automatically). I managed to get up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplements with cocoa, and didn’t bother with having breakfast.

Later that day my granny left, she was going to some sort of work out group for senior ladies at the gym. I stayed at her home, listening to music and drinking cocoa.

About at noon one of my best friends (whose name and gender I won’t reveal in order to protect their privacy) called me and told me that they had been considering suicide. I was immediately worried sick and tried to cheer them up as much as I could, but I simply cannot save another person from themselves. I thought of calling an ambulance, but I was so shocked that I couldn’t do anything.

I didn’t make any April fools jokes today. I know it’s all for fun, but I think the best kind of April fools are the ones that aren’t nasty or rude or scary, but those that make you feel happy that things aren’t so bad after all.
I know I don’t have any sense of humor, but I don’t like the kind of people who hurt, bully, abuse, harass, and / or insult others and then say; “Aww c’mon, I was just joking! Where’s your sense of humor?!”

I brushed my teeth, had macaroni casserole for lunch, and then granny came home.
I went for a walk, but only made it to the library because I was sick with worry for my friend. I know I cannot save them, so all I can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. And even if they choose to commit suicide, I will bring flowers to their grave and hope they are having a good time in paradise.

I sat around for a while, went to see a new art show, and then I went back to granny’s home. I felt like my head was high in the clouds, and my mind was lost in thought.

I spent the day reading books, knitting, and I also played the beta version of FreeRice until I had donated 1,000 grains of rice.

In the evening, I went for another walk. The scent of the air outside clung to my spring coat, it was nice.

Once back at granny’s home, I watched television with her and talked a bit.

I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day. I also sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils.
At some point I should brush my teeth, wash my face, feet, and armpits, dab lotion on my skin, and change into a nightie, but it feels like as much of an effort as climbing a high mountain.
Tomorrow I will go to the library and fetch two DVDs I had requested. I will only watch one a day.

Wednesday and Thursday will pretty much be the same; I will go for walks, visit the art museum and the library, play FreeRice, and watch movies.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will buy fifteen charitable Easter cards from the local supermarket, and write the greetings, signatures, and addresses.
I will also return all the books and DVDs to the library.

On Saturday, I will go to sauna with my granny. I will wash my hair, so I will look representable when I return to the metropolitan area.

On Sunday, my omnibus leaves at ten minutes past four o’clock in the afternoon, and it will return in Helsinki at half past six o’clock in the evening. I will take a bus back home because there is no way I can haul my suitcase to the train station, bleh.
Once back at my home town, I will go to the supermarket and buy all April’s name- day and birthday cards.
star

Updating from granny's home :3

Last night I had a dream where I was on my way to an Easter- themed youth group at Walnut Hill, but I got on the wrong bus and ended up in a Simpsons- themed museum where I got to eat plenty of chocolate mousse. The museum was held up by the Firefly / Driftwood clan from the Rob Zombie movie House of 1000 Corpses, and they were really nice to me and thought of me like I was one of them. It was a nice dream, even if it was a bit weird.
In another dream, I traveled in my home town and decided to attend more rock music concerts.
I also had some very sexual dreams, in one of them I was wanking off to inflation art on DeviantART, even if I normally detest it. In the dream, I rode my bicycle from my parents’ home town to my own home town, and I knew I couldn’t wake up before I made it back to my apartment. I tried opening my eyes, but they wouldn’t open.
I also had a dream where I was married to Roger Delgado.

I woke up about at six o’clock in the morning, and I felt like I was ready to get up. I decided to sleep later and got up about at nine o’clock in the morning, because there was no way I could have found enough chores and stuff to do before leaving for my granny’s home for a little Easter getaway.

I took my morning medicine and the first biotin supplement of the day and drank coffee.

Later I took a shower, washed my hair and face, put about five different lotions on my troublesome skin, and got dressed into neat clothes.

I received my Wish order today, four of those cloth things that have pockets on them. I hung them into the clothes rail in my closet with coat hangers, I am going to put my underwear in them.

I took the laundry off the drying rack and folded it and put it to the cupboard, and then I washed another load of laundry. I also washed the dishes and scrubbed the toilet bowl.

Later when I had received my weekly allowance, I took a bus to my parents’ home town and took the plastic waste to the recycling unit. It was a bright sunny day, and the air was a bit dusty.
I walked to the station and took the same bus back to my home town. Once there, I went to the shopping mall, withdrew the cash at an ATM machine, and bought fourteen Easter cards with the postage fee paid by a charitable company. I also bought a new toothbrush, a packet of interdental brushes, and two small boxes of xylitol drops.

Once back home, I started working on the Easter cards. I put the return address stamps on them, and wrote the greetings, signatures, and receiver’s address on them.

I was still supposed to iron the laundry, take out the recycling, and hoover and mop the floor including from under the furniture and in the bathroom, but instead I just scrolled through Tumblr.
I chided myself for being lazy, but it felt almost devastating to think about how much I still had work left to do. I knew I would have been happy after doing all the chores, and I still had plenty of time to spend.

In the afternoon, I went to two different cafes and bought two bagels; one with cold- smoked salmon and cream cheese and salt and pepper and cucumber slices, and one with a big slice of goat cheese, salad, and onion. Then I took a bus downtown and went to a stationery shop to buy a few greeting cards and stamps.

I took an omnibus to my granny’s home. I arrived there at half past eight o’clock in the evening.
Once at granny’s home yard, I called her and she threw the keys from the balcony so I could open the front door.

Once at her home, I hugged and kissed her and gave her an Easter card. I had lingonberry porridge and Karelian pies for supper, took my evening medicine and the last biotin supplement of the day.

Tomorrow I will go for two long walks, and I will probably continue knitting.
star

An amazing day :3

Last night I had a dream where I somehow got 2660 euros deposited to my bank account. I immediately spent it on Wish and Etsy.

Today was the last day at the wellness camp. I could have stayed a bit longer, because I was just getting used to the routines.

Anyway. In the morning, I got begrudgingly up from my bed at half past six in the morning after being awoken by my roomie’s fart.
I got dressed, took my morning medicine and first biotin supplement of the day, and went to eat breakfast.

For today, we played ball games with something called kinball which was a huge inflated ball about the size of a gorilla; we were given colored vests, blue, green, yellow, and red, and divided into colored groups. Three other players of the same colored vest held the ball up, and one shouted a color such as “Blue!” and threw the ball, and then the blues had to catch the ball, hold it up, and shout a color while throwing it, and then the aforementioned group had to catch it.
Then we played tag where the tag was supposed to touch another person with the kinball, and then the tagged person had to do the same. I had a good time and laughed a lot, and we played plenty of other games.

After that, we were divided into two groups, and the first one was supposed to go to something called “sense room”. I thought it might be like the assisted suicide clinic from the movie Soylent Green, but it looked like a class room with photos from the Swiss Alps projected on the screen. Everyone burst out laughing when it showed cows grazing at a pasture. Moo!

After that, we had lunch, and then we had the final meeting. We packed our luggage to the minivan, I hugged Hilda, and then we left.
It took us an hour and a half to drive to the metropolitan area. I let my head loll against the van window, and I had a dream where I ate oatmeal and actually opened and closed my mouth in my sleep. Then the dream changed, and I was eating spaghetti Bolognese.

We stopped at Stick City, where the rest of the group got off. The counselor drove me to my home town, where I went to the supermarket to buy a carton of unsweetened soy milk.

I went back home, took the second biotin supplement, washed a load of laundry, and shaved my armpits. I need to buy a new razor.
I took the last load off the drying rack, folded it, and put the not- ironable to the cupboard and the ironable to the ironing board.

I went to the shopping mall to return empty bottles and cans and bought an Easter card I gave to the counselor in the youth group.
Once at the youth group, I drank coffee and ate plenty of goodies, such as cheese Pringles and salmiakki candy.

I left after about an hour and went back to the shopping mall. I returned more empty cans that I had found, and bought an Easter card to my granny, one with a picture of Jesus Christ on a grassy field, herding sheep. Baa!

I went back home, took my evening medicine and the last biotin supplement, and put on a bathrobe instead of a nightie so I wouldn’t have to wash too much laundry tomorrow.

My head hurts in a way it feels like it’s in a vice. There’s a weird pressure on the top and sides.

Tomorrow will be a busy day; the first thing to do is to take a shower and brush my teeth and put on clean clothes.
I need to make a few phone calls, three of them will go to the counselors of a few hobby groups that I am going to take part in this spring, and I also need to make a dentist’s appointment.
I will go to the shopping mall and buy fourteen Easter cards, a biodegradable toothbrush, and a small box of xylitol drops, next week’s birthday and name- day cards and proper postage stamps.
I will spend the afternoon tidying up; I need to swab the dining table, nightstand, writing desk, and the kitchen counter, tidy up the bathroom, hoover and mop the floor including from under the furniture and in the bathroom, take out the recycling, iron the clothes, wash the dishes, wash another load of laundry, take the mattress and blanket and pillow to the balcony, and at some point I have to visit my parents’ home town to take the plastic waste to recycling.
After that, I will go to downtown. I will buy a few nightshirts from the discount sale at the thrift store, and also a tongue brush from the eco- shop.
My omnibus leaves at twenty minutes past six o’clock in the evening, and it will arrive to my granny’s home town at half past eight o’clock in the evening.
star

Second day at the Wellness Camp

Last night I woke up about at midnight. I had the kind of vision that the bedside table lamp was turned on, even if it wasn’t.

When Hilda’s smartphone alarm started buzzing in the morning, neither of us got up. I finally got up, took my biotin and morning medicine, and got dressed.

For breakfast, I had scrambled eggs, two hard- boiled eggs, two tangerines, and coffee.

Later that day, we had endurance tests; how many times you could run from place to place in fifty seconds, how fast you could dribble a ball from line to line, and how far you could jump.

After a short break, we went to a sports hall with two huge trampolines. I started jumping on one of them, and I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! It was amazing!
We had other activities too, such as one where we stood in a circle and everyone had to come up with a stretching exercise that all the others repeated. I came up with the one where you stretch your calf muscles.

After a while, we had lunch, and then we went to a swimming pool.
We did water aerobics and played water polo, after that we had dinner.
I have noticed that I always get hungry when I do water aerobics or swim a lot in a swimming hall.
I have also noticed that I don’t miss coffee much now that I have got cocoa to drink.

I went back to my hotel room to update my journal, watch How Sarah Got Her Wings and The Good Place and click the daily donation buttons on Greater Good.

I have noticed that the four front teeth on my lower jaw have started hurting in the same way they have hurt many times; not exactly painfully hurting, just annoying, like itching.

In the evening, we played curling. I found it boring and too hard, not to mention that I was afraid of slipping on the ice. I just sat on the benches and wrote into my diary. One of the foreign students complimented on my penwomanship (my spellchecker actually recognizes that word!).

We were given paper forms that we could use to give critique on the camp.
Once in my hotel room, I took my evening medicine and third biotin supplement, then I updated my blog.

Tomorrow we will have more ball games, and then we will drive back to the metropolitan area.
I should be back home about at three o’clock in the afternoon. Once back home, if I am still sleepy, I will sleep off all the sleep debt. After getting up, I will go to the supermarket to buy a carton of unsweetened soy milk, and an Easter card for the youth group workers. I also have to do housework; wash laundry, hoover and mop the floor including from under the furniture and also in the bathroom, and take the plastic waste to recycling before the youth group at the local church. I will give the Easter card to the youth group workers.

Friday will be a very busy day; I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will buy fourteen Easter cards that I am going to mail to my friends, and another Easter card for my granny.
I also have to buy sustenance for the trip, and a toothbrush, tongue brush, interdental brushes, and a box of xylitol drops I can eat after every meal.
I also have to buy the greeting cards I will send next week, and proper stamps for them.
I will also do the rest of the housework; scrub the toilet bowl, take out the recycling, iron the laundry, pack the rest of the luggage, and triple- check every detail before leaving.
I will take an omnibus to my granny’s home town, the bus will be there at half past eight o’clock in the evening. Granny promised that if I call her when I arrive, she will throw the keys from the window so I can go in.

On Saturday, I will go for two long walks around the neighborhood; one at the lakeshore, and one on the hill. Me and granny will also go to the sauna.

On Sunday, I will go for another two walks, and knit a lot and watch Netflix.
star

Updating from the wellness camp :D

Last night I had a dream where I was bullied by a girl I knew from junior high, but the setting was my grade school. It was a regular nightmare.

I was already awake before my smartphone alarm woke me up. I was thinking of getting up and starting the day afresh, but I didn’t have any unsweetened soy milk left for my morning coffee, so I couldn’t scrounge up any motivation.
I got up, took my morning medicine, got dressed, and went back to bed. When my alarm clock rang, I got up, packed the rest of my stuff, and walked to the psychiatric clinic. The bright sunlight and the chilly weather seemed to mock my mood.

One of the counselors drove us to the wellness camp, I drifted in and out of sleep in the van and had weird micro- dreams. Once there, I was still sleepy.

We were given our own rooms, I got the room 6109 that I share with Hilda. When she arrived, I gave her an Easter card; she was very happy about it. She also gave me her birthdate and address, so I can send her more cards.
Once Easter is over, the next holiday cards I send will be Halloween cards.

I took my first biotin supplement of the day because I didn’t take it in the morning.

We went to have lunch, and let me tell you, it has been a while before I ate such a sumptuous meal. After that, I took a nap and had the second biotin of the day, and then we were supposed to play ball games with foreign students (my English vocabulary is very good, but I speak it a bit uncertainly), and I was still sleepy and a bit under the weather. I quickly excused myself and went to the ladies’ changing room to have a bit of a cry.
I have been a bit subdued for a while now because of my PMS, and not to mention that the ball games brought me bad memories from grade school.
I have noticed that I feel better when I have a good cry, rather than when I have a good laugh. Sometimes you have to cry all the tears to make room for all the smiles.
Fortunately the students understood me, and I got plenty of hugs.

We had dinner, which was as scrumptious as the lunch. After that, we went bowling. I had a good time, even if I pretty much screwed up all my throws.

Once back at the hotel, I took my evening medicine and third biotin of the day, took a shower and went to bed.

Tomorrow we will have water polo and curling. I am already looking up to the meals we are having.

On Thursday, we will travel back home. Once there, I will wash laundry, and hoover and mop the floor including from under the furniture and in the bathroom.
In the evening I will take the plastic waste to recycling, and then I will go to the youth group at the local church.

On Friday, I will do the rest of the housework; take out the recycling, wash the dishes, scrub the toilet bowl, take the laundry off the drying racks and iron it.
I will receive money, so I will buy the half of the rest of the Easter cards I am going to mail; I usually buy two kinds of greeting cards, the ones that I am going to give from hand to hand to a friend, and those that I am going to mail to a friend who lives farther. Usually I buy the kinds of greeting cards that have the postage fees paid by a charitable company.
I will also buy a new toothbrush and tongue brush I am going to use at granny’s home, a small tin of xylitol drops, and of course, the sustenance for the omnibus journey.
My bus leaves at twenty minutes past six o’clock in the evening, and it arrives at granny’s home town at half past nine o’clock in the evening.
Once there, I will have supper with granny, unpack my luggage, and go to sleep.

On Saturday, I will go for a walk around the neighborhood. Me and granny will also go to the sauna.

On Sunday, I will go for another walk around the neighborhood, and also knit and watch Netflix.
star

Upsetting dreams and an unhappy future

Last night I had upsetting dreams, I almost woke up crying.

I was already awake at half past nine o’clock in the morning, but I continued sleeping till noon.

After getting up, I took my morning medicine and drank coffee and surfed on Tumblr.
Then I took a shower and used the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment. I got dressed into a pair of pants and a striped t- shirt; normally I would have put on a pretty dress, but I didn’t have any clean leggings.

I washed two loads of laundry, and I was hanging them on the drying racks and fighting with my delusions when my care worker came for the weekly appointment.

I didn’t bother with ironing the laundry or washing the dishes, I just talked to the worker about how miserable I have been feeling, and a bit about my unhappy past.
I have come to realize that I have actually never had the kind of time period in my life where I have been happy and content. I have been depressed and anxious ever since my childhood, and no matter how happy I am momentarily, I am always a little bit freaked out and unhappy.
Well, of course I know that no one can be a hundred percent happy and content all the time, but I am barely thirty percent happy at my happiest moments.

After the appointment was over, I left and went to the shopping mall to buy a new red blouse. I also bought a bar of toffee- and- nut chocolate.
I took a bus to downtown, on my way there I started feeling so drowsy that I almost fell asleep on my seat. I don’t know why, I didn’t take a tranquilizer today.

I took a subway to west and went to Girls’ House. I drank a few cups of cocoa and tried to keep my head together.

Later that day I left and took a tram to another part of the town. I went to the Monday Evening Group in Twinkle cafe; I ate a few sandwiches, and a handful of cherry tomatoes and dark grapes, and drank a couple of mugs of cocoa.

Later in the evening I took a tram back to downtown, and then a train to my home town.
My right shoulder has started hurting again, even if I have taken my painkillers.
I went to the shopping mall and bought a plastic jar of biotin supplement for myself. I also went to the stationery shop and bought an Easter card for Hilda.

Once back home, I took the first biotin supplement, and made some tea and supper. In the evening I took my meds, and went to bed.

I have noticed that I no longer enjoy things the way I used to. Just traveling to downtown used to feel like an exciting journey, but nowadays everything feels like nothing at all.
It could be that I am reaching middle age and have already experienced everything, nothing is new anymore. Or it could be a symptom of depression.
star

All feminist brunch makes the rockin' world go 'round

I had a sleepover at Mirette's home. I slept fully clothed in her spare bed, and we both went to sleep about after midnight.

I had a dream about my grade school, and another dream where I watched the Doctor Who episode The Sea Devils on a VHS tape.

Both me and Mirette got up before my smartphone alarm rang. We were both still a bit sleepy.
I took my morning medicine, and ate some candy for breakfast.

Later the morning we left, and took a subway to downtown. We went to a restaurant that we had never visited before; there was a free brunch arranged by a Finnish feminist coalition. We would have had a good time there if the place wasn't so crowded; we barely had room to move.
Nevertheless, I got to eat gluten- free white bread with pesto and hummus, salad with tofu and couscous and beans, and fresh kiwifruit and honeydew melon slices.
After I was done, me and Mirette planned that I will go visit my parents, so my mom and dad can give me the weekly allowance.

I took a bus to my parents' home town. It was a beautiful sunny day.

Once at my parents' home, dad gave me twenty euros. Mom gave me a box of licorice candies she had bought on her cruise, even if I have told her that I don't want her to buy me candy or chocolate, because I already eat far too many treats.
She also complained about how I spend my days, how I shouldn't go to the Twinkle café every week now that I go to the Monday Group as well. She said something like that sometimes she loses her nerve with her family. I didn't even realize she takes my business so seriously.

I ate a handful of cherry tomatoes, and drank some coffee and orange juice.
Later that day, me and my mother walked to the shopping mall where my mother gave me another twenty euros.

I took a bus to Mirette's home. Once there, I ate some vinegar crisps.
We caught a subway to downtown, where we went to Subway to buy some sandwiches. Then we went to a movie theater, and went to see the movie Captain Marvel. I loved that movie, it had an amazing amount of girl power.

After the movie, I took a bus back home. Once there, I took my evening medicine and drank almost a liter of water in one go because I was thirsty after Mirette shared some of her sweet popcorn with me.

I drank about four cups of coffee, and became increasingly worried of the way how I grind my teeth. I have been thinking of getting Botox shots to cure it.

I'm having kind of an existential crisis right now. I see no reason in bettering the quality of my life, because I will be dead in a few decades and then it won't be a problem. I am not talking about suicide, but my natural death.
I also had an idea, but dismissed it right away; I could better my life right now by taking a shower, brushing my teeth, eating some fresh vegetables and fruits, washing the laundry and the dishes. But it's almost midnight, and I was supposed to go to bed.
I also have a strange paranoid feeling that other people will judge me if I stay up late and drink coffee and watch Netflix. I try to tell myself that those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind, but I cannot shake the feeling.
I am also having trouble with relaxing my face muscles; when I relax my cheek muscles, my forehead muscles tense.

Nevertheless, I managed to get up and shower my underbelly that had weird residue in it, and also wash my hands that had some crud under the nails and smelled weird. I also put cortisone lotion on the skinrash in my armpits.

Tomorrow morning I will take a shower and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment. I will also brush my teeth.
star

Fresh air and rancid farts

Last night I found it hard to fall asleep, even if I had felt sleepy for most of the evening after taking a tranquilizer.

I Kon- Mari’d a bit, and about at two o’clock in the morning, I opened the kitchenette window and balcony door wide, to let fresh air in.
It was amazing to wake up at noon to the fresh air, after I had let out a few rancid farts.

I got up and made some coffee. I had already taken my morning medicine during the night.
I took a shower and brushed my teeth, got dressed and cooked a decent breakfast.

I had received the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I paid the monthly gym membership fee, and ordered omnibus tickets to my granny’s home town and back. I also paid my Spotify Premium subscription.

I stayed inside for most of the day, and in the evening I went to my favorite café and bought a rocky road donut.
I took a train to Eleclya’s home town and went to her home for coffee and chitchat, and then I went to the theater. I picked up some trash on my way there, it was right around the corner.

The theater play was based on a famous Finnish novel about the first election in Finland about in 1906. These two men, Zin and Mike wore clown make up and huge red noses, called The Red Nose Company, parodied the novel and played songs like “Come as you are” by Nirvana, it reminded me of Mirette, and the songs that I don’t know by name but their choruses are something like “Your children will be next, will be next, will be next” and “You got to ride and ride and ride” and “Everything’s going to be fine, fine, fine, fine”.
During the break, I bought a cup of coffee. After the show was over, I donated my leftover change to the artists, shook their hands and thanked them for the amazing show.

I traveled back home on a bus, the journey felt short. Once at home, I took my evening medicine and went to bed right away.

I felt a bit weird. My shoulders hurt, and the area between my throat and the inside of my nose hurt. I also had a strange constricting feeling in my throat, like I am going to throw up soon.

Tomorrow I will start doing the weekly housework; after that, I will go to Eleclya’s home. Suavecita and Mirette will be there as well, and we will go to Berry’s home.
In the evening, I will go to Mirette’s home for a sleepover.

On Sunday, me and Mirette will go to a feminist brunch in downtown. After that, I will go to movies with Mirette, we will go see Captain Marvel.
At some point, I will go visit my parents so they can give me the weekly allowance.
star

Hopefully tomorrow will be better :c

Last night I had a dream where I dated the 11th Doctor, and I gave him my virginity. In the same dream, he dumped me for another woman, but I didn't care about it much; I just shrugged and said "All men are the same", and went geocaching in my parents' neighborhood.

I slept late, and got up about at one o'clock in the afternoon.

I took my morning medicine, drank bucketfuls of coffee, ate some vegetables and fruits, and didn't bother with doing anything because, well, I didn't have anything special to do today.

Even if I am pretty sure I don't have a split personality, I sometimes feel like there is an angel and a demon fighting inside me. The angel is a tap- dancing ray of sunshine with love and harmony in her soul, and the demon is an evil bitchy witchy skank with a sardonic attitude. Today the demon part was winning.

I managed to go to the youth group, and have a good time there. Soon I started feeling sleepy because of the tranquilizer I had taken.

I went back home, feeling like poop. I didn't exactly feel like hating myself, I just felt like pitying myself.

I didn't feel like doing any good deeds, or freshening up even if I was in need of a shower. I just wanted this day to be over.

I live in this constant fear that if I don't make hundred percent healthy choices all the time, such as eat healthily and work out often, my mental and physical health deteriorates in a second.

I just hope tomorrow will be better.

Tomorrow I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will pay the monthly gym membership fee, and order omnibus tickets to my granny's home town and back.
I will buy only a small amount of groceries, because I will be gone for most of the next two weeks.
In the evening I will go to the sauna, and then I will go to a theater to see a play.
star

I have weird dreams.

Last night I had a dream where I was in a movie theater in a neighboring town, it was a snowy New Year’s Eve and I was desperately trying to find my way back home.
In another dream, I was a student in Hogwarts and I found a way to sneak into the boys’ bathroom; I made my face look stereotypically masculine with a specific charm.
I also had a dream of a 1990’s game arcade, I have those dreams a lot.

I was already awake before my smartphone alarm rang. I got up, took my morning medicine, washed my face, put lotion on my skin, got dressed, and put on a necklace.
I had to eat my breakfast in a hurry, because I was supposed to make it to the wellness group at the psychiatric center.

Before the group I visited my favorite dressmaker and brought them some clothes that needed to be mended; a skirt that had a stretched out elastic waistband; a blouse that needed to be tightened; and a Dirndl dress that needed to be widened.

I went to the wellness group and ran into Laufey on my way there.
The group lasted for about 48 minutes instead of the usual two hours, we were given a list of the things we needed to pack for the journey to the wellness center.

After the group, me, Hilda, and two other group members took a train to downtown. I went to visit a museum, and then I traveled back to my home town.

Once there, I picked up some trash and took some discarded trolleys to their rightful places.

Once back home, I made some dinner and coffee, and felt very satisfied after finishing my meal. I also took the laundry off the drying rack, folded it, and put it into the cupboards.

I left again and took a train to downtown. I went to the local library, there was a knitting & novel reading group.

I helped an elderly lady open her teabag sachet, and after the group I helped the librarians collect the used paper cups. I have decided to buy a re- usable coffee mug as soon as I can afford it.

After the group, the library was closed. I took a train back home and called my mother on the way.

Once back at home, I took my evening medicine, had some evening snack, and talked with my friends on Messenger. I also played FreeRice until my donation reached 10,000 donated grains.

About a little after ten o’clock in the evening, I started having evening anxiety again.

Tomorrow I will return all the empty bottles and cans to make a little change, and then I will go to the bank to withdraw the rest of the change in my bank account.
I will go visit a museum, and then I will go to the youth group at the church.
At some point of the day, I have to hoover the floor again, and play FreeRice until I have donated 1,000 grains.

Friday, as usual, will be a busy day; I will pay my monthly membership fee to the gym, order omnibus tickets to my granny’s home town and back, and also remember to reserve a seat on both buses.
As for the rest of the money, I will buy only a small amount of groceries because I will be gone for most of the next two weeks.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna, and later I will go to a theater to see a play.
At some point of the day, I have to hoover the floor again, and play FreeRice until I have donated 1,000 grains of rice.
star

Another nice day!

Last night I had many kinds of dreams. In one of them, me and my companion traveled in time to the Victorian era and contacted the dead spirit of Sherlock Holmes in a séance.
I also had a dream of the Doctor Who episode Father’s Day.
In another dream, me and my family traveled to a holiday resort; in yet another, I watched the movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.

I woke up early and continued sleeping till my smartphone alarm woke me. I got up, took my morning medicine, drank coffee, and took a shower. I washed my hair and body and did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment. I put lotion on my skin, and got dressed. I felt very fresh after that.

I didn’t have time for breakfast. I went to the psychiatric center, where I had an appointment with the doctor at two o’clock in the afternoon. My mom was there as well, she gave me a square of her raspberry- yoghurt chocolate bar.

During the appointment, we talked about my medication and potential work experience. Fortunately mom didn’t start crying.

After the appointment, me and Saida made a new appointment on April 23rd at 2:00 pm. It will be the last time we will meet, because she will start working as a private psychotherapist now that she has finished her studies. I will give her a Thank You card and an Easter card before we depart.

Mom gave me the weekly allowance, and what do you know, she also gave me the monthly allowance as well. I was 120 euros richer.

I walked to the station and caught a train to downtown. I went to Twinkle café.
Once there, I made a few scrumptious sandwiches, ate some cookies and candy and drank cocoa. I got horrible diarrhea and took about three noisy dumps.

Mella gave me some second hand stuff, such as a plastic cup that I am going to give to Eleclya, a gym shirt that I am going to use, and three Oreo cookies.

After the café, I took a tram to the city center and went to the post office and bought thirty- four Easter cards, those that have their postage fees paid by a charity company.

I traveled to my home town on a train and went to a department store to pick up my order; two laundry drying racks. I stumbled on my way back home, holding the package on my arms.
Once back home, I took the drying racks out of the package and washed a load of laundry.
I made dinner and ate it, and then I started working on the Easter cards. I managed to write the greetings, signatures, and the receiver’s addresses, and put my return address stickers on them.
I hoovered the floor.

Tomorrow I will take at least three articles of clothing to the dressmaker, and then I will go to the wellness group, and pay for the trip to the wellness center. I will go visit a museum, and then I will go to the knitting & novel reading group.
Once back home, I will fetch the laundry from the drying room, and from then on, I will dry my laundry at my home.

On Thursday, I will go visit museums again, and then I will go to the youth group at the church.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will order omnibus tickets to my granny’s home town and back.
As for the rest of the money, I will buy a meager amount of groceries, a couple of Easter cards, next month’s birthday and name- day cards, hygiene products, and also a new blouse.
In the evening, I will go see a theater play.

On Saturday, I will do the basic housework I do every weekend; replace the towels, take the blankets and pillows and my mattress to the balcony to freshen them, take out the recycling, and scrub the bathroom.
Me and the Fantastic Four will meet at Eleclya’s home, where Suavecita will drive us to Berry’s home.

On Sunday, I will put on a face mask and shave my armpits and my chin.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there. If the weather is alright and it doesn’t snow, I will walk there.
I will call my granny, and my dad will give me the weekly allowance.
I will go to movies with Mirette, we will go see Captain Marvel.
star

A pleasant day enough

I have been waking up early in the mornings to go to the bathroom to take a pee. I know it is because I tend to drink lots of water.

Anyway, this morning I was awake at half past seven o’clock. I took my morning medicine and went back to bed.
I had a dream where I was friends with Jamison “Junkrat” Fawkes and Mako “Roadhog” Rutledge from the first- person shooter game Overwatch. It was a nice dream. I also dreamed of the scenes from the novel I am working on.

I got up from my bed at noon, washed my face, put lotion on my skin, got dressed, and had lots of vegetables and fruits and coffee for breakfast.

Later that day, my care worker came for the weekly appointment at 2:40 pm. I washed the dishes and ironed the laundry, all the while talking with her. I also learned that her birthday is next month, I will buy her a card.
I was in a better mood than last week.

After I was done with the dishes and the ironing, I washed a load of laundry.
Me and the worker left at the same time. We took a train to downtown, she got off earlier. I hugged her and paid her a compliment about her long faded green leather coat.
I got off at the town center, and went to the post office. I re- mailed CK’s birthday card, and bought two “Greetings from Finland” cards for my friends. I also mailed another birthday card, here’s to hoping it will go to the address and not be sent back to my home.

I went to the subway station, but then I decided that if I wanted to go to Girls’ House, I could have walked there.
So I walked there. It was a lovely late afternoon, the air was clear and crisp and the sky was covered in powdery blue clouds, and the streets were dry. The huge amount of fluffy snow that had rained during the weekend had already melted away.

Once at Girls’ House, I drank a cup of cocoa. I knitted a bit and talked with the other girls and women in there. Mirette was there as well.
When I sat on one of the armchairs, I practically sighed with relief when I felt my buttocks relaxing. I had been on my feet all day, it was nice to sit down for a while.

Later that day, I left and took a tram to the street where Twinkle café is resided. I went to the Monday Evening group, there was Raija and a couple of other visitors. I shook hands with them and curtsied while introducing myself to them.
I made a few sandwiches and drank a couple of mugs of cocoa. It made me immensely happy.
Later that evening, I hugged everyone and left. I took a tram to the city center and went to the library so I could use a common computer to play the FreeRice game; my laptop always slows down when I play it.
When I made it to the library, I attempted playing the game, but that computer was slow as well.

I took a train back home. Once there, I took the laundry downstairs to the drying room. In a couple of days, I will get the drying racks that I ordered, and I can dry my laundry at my own home.
I made some supper and coffee, took my evening medicine, brushed my teeth, washed my face, put lotion on my skin, and put on my nightshirt. I looked cute as a button, except that my hair was greasy. I’m trying to wash it on longer intervals because if I wash my hair more often, it just gets greasier more often.

Tomorrow I will take a shower and use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment. I will put on neat clothes.
I will have an appointment at the psychiatric center at two o’clock in the afternoon. My mother will be there as well, she will give me the weekly allowance.
I will go to Twinkle café.

On Wednesday, I will go to the psychiatric center for the wellness group. I will pay for the journey to the wellness center.
After that, I will go visit my parents so that my mother can give me the monthly allowance. I will go to downtown to buy half of the Easter cards that I am mailing to people, and then I will go to a museum.
In the evening I will go to a library for the knitting & novel reading group.

On Thursday, I will go visit a couple of museums, and in the evening I will go to the youth group at the local church.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will order two omnibus tickets to my granny’s home town and back.
I will buy groceries, and some stuff for my visit at granny’s.
In the evening, I will go see a play at a theater.

On Saturday, I will go see the movie Captain Marvel with Mirette.
Along with that, I will do the basic housework; take out the recycling, replace the towels, hoover the floor, and scrub the bathroom.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there. If it doesn’t rain too hard or snow or sleet or hail, I will walk to my parents’ home and back.
Once at my parents’ home, I will call my granny. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, I will go to IKEA and buy a proper shower curtain rail, and a duvet set.
star

My plans for Monday, March 18th - Sunday, March 24th

Monday, March 18th:
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at 2:40 pm. I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit.
I will go visit a museum, and then I will go to Girls' House, and then to the Monday Group in Twinkle café.

Tuesday, March 19th:
I will have an appointment with my nurse at two o'clock in the afternoon, my mother will attend it as well. She will give me the weekly allowance.
I will go visit Twinkle café.

Wednesday, March 20th:
I will go to the wellness group and pay for the journey next week.
After that, I will go visit my parents; my mother will give me the monthly allowance. I will buy half of the Easter cards with it.
In the evening, I will go to a knitting & novel reading group at a library downtown.

Thursday, March 21st:
I will go to a few museums, and then to the youth group at the local church.

Friday, March 22nd:
I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest.
I will order omnibus tickets to my granny's home town and back, and use the rest of the money on Easter cards and groceries.
I will go see a theater play in the evening.

Saturday, March 23rd:
I will do the weekly housework; take out the recycling, replace the towels, and scrub the bathroom.
I might go visit a few museums as well.

Sunday, March 24th:
I will shave my armpits and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents; if the weather is alright, I will walk there and back. I will also take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there.
I will call my granny, and my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will go to IKEA to buy a shower curtain rail. 
Tags:
star

Anxiety, why you no stop bothering me?

Last night when I went to sleep, I experienced anxiety once again. I have also been staying awake late and getting up later.

I wish I could stop hating myself for not being able to over- exert myself, such as study and work and go to the gym every single day.

I slept well, and had decent enough dreams. I have been having so many dreams these days that I don't actually feel like writing about each of them.

I got up at noon, took my morning medicine, and spent the afternoon drinking coffee and surfing on the Internet.
I plucked my chin pubes, and put on a face mask. I dabbed lotion on my skin, got dressed, and brushed my teeth.

I didn't cook oatmeal porridge for breakfast, but I ate plenty of fruits and vegetables.

I took a nap simply out of boredom, farted a lot and got up to make coffee.
My mother texted me and told that I can come over.

I grabbed the bag where I keep the plastic waste, and caught a bus to my parents' home town. I would have walked but it was sleeting outside, and it wasn't exactly pleasant.
I took the plastic waste to recycling, and walked to my parents' home.

My dad answered the door. He gave me the weekly allowance.
I drank coffee and orange juice, and my mom warmed some salmon soup for me. I also ate cherry tomatoes and a tangerine.

I called my granny, and played the beta version of the game Free Rice until my donation reached 9000.

When I left, I walked to the station and caught a bus back to my home town.
I went to the shopping mall to buy two small bars of chocolate, and two small bags of jelly beans.

I went back home, ate some candy, washed a load of laundry, and put all the garbage to their rightful places.

I managed to brush my teeth and wash my face.

About at 8:52 in the evening, I was gripped by the evening anxiety.

Tomorrow my care worker will come for the weekly appointment at 2:40, I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit.
After that I will go to downtown to a museum, and then to Girls' House.
star

From Thursday to Saturday I'm rockin' and rollin'

During the night between Wednesday and Thursday, I stayed awake all the way to half past one o’clock in the morning. I had remembered to take my evening medicine, so I didn’t understand why I couldn’t sleep.
Sleeping is the one thing that I am good at; sometimes I stay awake all night, and I would rather not have those nights anymore because I always feel bad afterwards.

After I finally fell asleep, I had a nice dream where I lived in a commune with my parents, two gay grandads, and Jamison “Junkrat” Fawkes and Mako “Roadhog” Rutledge from the first- person shooter game Overwatch.
I also had a dream where I visited the movie theater in my granny’s home town.

I slept all the way to half past one o’clock in the afternoon, and then I got up. Which basically means I slept for approximately twelve hours.

I took my morning medicine, and spent most of the afternoon inside, drinking coffee and surfing on the Internet.

Finally I got a grip of myself; I washed my hair and dabbed lotion on my skin.
I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and ate a decent breakfast.

Later that day I left and took the rest of the bags of clothes and other stuff to the charity shop container.
I took a bus to downtown, even if I could have taken a train. It was starting to get late, so I got off the bus and went to a burger joint to buy a cup of hot chocolate.
I took the same bus back to my home town, and went to the church group.
The new premises were nice, and the treats and snacks were amazing.
I talked with the youth worker a bit, knitted the quilt squares, ate kiwifruits and crisps and cinnamon rolls, and drank juice and coffee.

Once back home, I did a little bit of this and that, and went to sleep.

I got up a little after noon, took my morning medicine, and went back to sleep for a longer time.
I got up again, dabbed lotion on my face and put on clothes.

I drank my morning coffee, and didn’t bother with morning routines.

I had received the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I ordered a ticket to a theater play, and then I went to buy groceries.
I bought unsweetened soy milk, microwaveable vegan meals, and lots of vegetables and fruits.

I went back home, put everything in their rightful places, washed a load of laundry and took it downstairs to the drying room.

I forgot to go to the sauna.

In the evening, I went to sleep.

I had a dream where I committed suicide by throwing myself under a truck that looked like Optimus Prime.

I got up late in the afternoon, took my morning medicine, and spent most of the morning drinking coffee and surfing on the Internet.
Later I washed my hair and my face and put lotion on my skin. I got dressed, and had a decent breakfast for early dinner.

Later that day I left, and took a train to downtown. I visited two art museums.

I bought the Big Issue magazine, and then I traveled back home a longer way.

Once there, it was getting late. I made dinner, and did a little bit of this and that.

Tomorrow I will shave my armpit hairs and chin pubes, and put on a face mask.
When I go see my parents, I will walk there and back and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there.
I will call my granny during the visit, and my dad will give me 20 euros. I will go to IKEA and buy a shower curtain rail, and a duvet set.
star

Matt Smith and Benedict Cumberbatch are my husbandos

Last night I had a dream where I enticed Matt Smith to marry me, kept touching Benedict Cumberbatch’s bum, and ate a kilogram of poop. It tasted like sweet peanuts.

I got up at eleven o’clock in the morning, took my meds, put Miniderm on my skin (I didn’t bother with washing my face because my skin is a tad bit irritated and itchy), ate a decent breakfast, and later that day I left and went to the psychiatric clinic.

At the good life habits group, we went for a walk. I was in a bad mood for no reason at all, and the delusions kept on bothering me. I imagined myself in a situation where I was an angsty emo teen living with redneck parents who did not understand me.
After the walk, we went back to the psychiatric center and talked about the oncoming three- day journey to the wellness center.
Me and Hilda, my new friend, have already agreed to be roommates. I also learned that I have to be awake early because the minibus to the center leaves at half past nine o’clock in the morning.

After the group, I went to the shopping mall with Hilda, and bought a bar of chocolate. My chocolate addiction has started again; this time I am addicted to big bars of chocolate filled with peanuts and fudge. Here’s to hoping I will be able to kick the habit soon.

Once back home, I made some coffee and ate the chocolate. I also brushed my teeth; I am going to do it once every afternoon, and also use the tongue brush and the interdental brushes.
Later that day, Suavecita and Eleclya came for a visit. Lots of giggles and farts ensued.

Later that day we all left, Suavecita and Eleclya went hunting for Pokemons and I took four bags of old stuff to a charity shop container.
I also went to the shopping mall, and noticed that I was certainly having a Creepy Moment. It has been years since I had one.

I went back home, made some supper, took my evening medicine, put on my nightie, and later the evening I went to bed.

Tomorrow I will call the apartment service and ask them about the internet connection.
I will also go to the health center, and ask for help concerning my itchy face and greasy hair.
After that, I will go to a couple of museums in downtown, and visit Girls’ House; I have taken up the habit of collecting used, clean mascara wands, and sending them to the Appalachian Wildlife Refugee, where they can be used to clean insect eggs and parasites out of animals eyes and ears and stuff. I will ask the counselors in Girls’ House to set up the same kind of collection.
In the evening, I will go to the youth group at the local church.
I also have to wash a load of laundry.

On Friday, I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will order tickets to a theater play.
The rest of the money will be spent on groceries, and I also have to buy two laundry drying racks.
In the evening, I will go to movies with Mirette, we will go see Captain Marvel.

On Saturday, I will do the basic housework; replace the towels, take the blankets and pillows and mattress to the balcony to freshen them, take out the recycling.
I might go to a couple of museums after that.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and do the face mask.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling.
Once there, I will call my granny. My dad will give me the weekly allowance; I will go to IKEA to buy a shower curtain rail, and a duvet set.
star

Throwing up nautiluses

Last night I had a dream where I went to see my granny, in that dream she still lived in the house where she moved away.
In the dream, I kept on throwing up nautiluses without their shells. It was disgusting.

I got up before my alarm clock rang at 11:45 am. I was in a bad mood and my head hurt.
I took my morning medicine, got dressed, and put lotion on my face. I ate one clove of garlic for breakfast, because I did not feel like wasting my energy on cooking; even if I knew I wouldn’t have any energy at all.

I had an appointment with my doctor today. He injected some cortisone into my achy shoulder and prescribed me some lotions for my troublesome skin. I also got an X- ray done on my achy shoulder, the nurse was really nice.

I called my mother, we agreed that we were going to meet at the shopping mall. She gave me 20 euros, bought me two spools of knitting yarn, yelled at me for not remembering to mention the problem with my greasy hair to my doctor, and then I left.

I went to the supermarket and bought three big bars of Oreo chocolate. I went back home, picked up an IKEA bag full of old blankets, and took them to the train station.

I caught a train to Eleclya’s home town. Once at Eleclya’s house, she opened the door to her apartment because she recognized the sound of my steps.
I gave her the blankets and the chocolates.
Later that day, Suavecita and Odessa came for a visit as well. We had coffee and chocolate- salmiakki muffins and other treats, and later Suavecita left.

I left as well, and went to the shopping mall next to the station. On my way there, I picked up some trash and took it to the garbage bin.

I went to a jewelry & accessory shop at the shopping mall, and looked for jewelry to buy as a gift to Zoya.

I took a train back home, and went to the shopping mall. I looked for new clothes, and then I went to the supermarket and bought two liters of unsweetened soy milk and a box of assorted berries; raspberries, blueberries, and strawberries.

I went back home, and made some coffee. I continued knitting the blanket squares, dealt my pills into both of my Dosetts, washed the dishes, and put cortisone lotion on the rash on my wrists.

In the evening, I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.
I listened to Vulnicura, an album by Björk. Then I listened to Utopia. It was pretty New Age.

In the evening, I started having anxiety again.

Tomorrow I have to wash my hair again. I will go to the good life habits group, and then my friends Eleclya and Suavecita will visit me.
I will make an appointment for a masseur, and a dentist.

On Thursday, I will go to the health center and ask them if I can be prescribed some sort of special medical shampoo that helps my greasy hair, and also ask them about the results of my blood tests.
I will go to a few museums, and then I will go to the youth group at the new premises.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will buy groceries, a drying rack for my laundry, and order tickets to a theater play. I will go to movies with Mirette; we will go see Captain Marvel.

On Saturday, I will do housework.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there. If the weather is alright, I will walk there and back.
Once at my parents’ home, I will call my granny. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, I will go to IKEA and buy a proper shower curtain rail, and also a shower curtain and the rings for hanging said shower curtain.
star

My plans for Monday, March 11th - Sunday, March 17th

Monday, March 11th:
In the morning, the first thing to do is to take a shower, wash my hair, and do the 12- step Korean skincare regiment. I will also brush my teeth properly.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at 2:40 pm. I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit.
After that, I will take a few bags of old clothes and stuff to a charity shop container.
I will go IKEA and buy one of those huge blue plastic canvas bags.

Tuesday, March 12th:
I will have a doctor’s appointment at one o’clock in the afternoon at the local health center. I will talk to him about a myriad of my health problems; the itchy rash on the backs of my knees, my armpits, my ankles, and the skin between my nose and upper lip; my right shoulder that has been hurting since last July; the possibility that I might have parasites in my body; and lots of other stuff.
After that, I will go to my parents’ home because my mom will give me the weekly allowance.
I will go visit Eleclya and bring her the blankets and the chocolate bars.

Wednesday, March 13th:
I will go to the good life habits group.
After that, I will go to the gym, do stretches and then walk on the treadmill for a full hour.

Thursday, March 14th:
I will go to a few art museums.
I will go to the youth group in the new premises.

Friday, March 15th:
I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest.
I will order stuff from Wish and Etsy, and also order a ticket to a theater play I am going to go see next Friday.
I will also buy groceries.
I will go to sauna.

Saturday, March 16th:
I will do all the basic housework; replace the towels, scrub the bathroom, take out the recycling.

Sunday, March 17th:
I will shave my armpits and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there.
Once at my parents’ home, I will call my granny.
My dad will give me the weekly allowance.
Tags:
star

Gloomy Sunday :c

I slept all the way to half past three o’clock in the afternoon, because my bed felt so nice and my dreams were amazing, far more better than real life. I think I actually had three simultaneous orgasms when I had a particularly sexy dream.

After I finally got up, I took my morning medicine and washed my face. I put on the Rosy Cheeks face mask, and this time it did not make my skin burn or itch.

I was supposed to shave my armpits like every Sunday, but my underarm skin is inflamed to the point of being red and flaky so there is no point in shaving them and irritating them even further. Next week when I go visit my doctor, I will ask him to prescribe me some lotion for it.

I just spent the afternoon wandering around in my bathrobe, hating myself and wishing I would drop dead. I usually hate myself for not being able to DO anything; save my money, enroll in school, get up from the bed earlier, eat healthy meals, stuff like that.

Later that day Lita came over, I washed her laundry and she took a shower.

In the evening, I went to visit my parents. I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said it’s alright.

I put on my Ramones hoodie and a pair of “fart pants”, as they are called in Finnish (“pieruverkkarit”). I didn’t feel like wearing anything more flashy.

I caught a bus to my parents’ home. This elderly lady paid me a compliment, and we talked about stuff.

Once at my parents’ home, I was in a terribly angry mood. I felt like lashing out and breaking stuff, but I didn’t do so.
I drank coffee and orange juice, ate a few cherry tomatoes, feta cheese, and a couple of slices of a bun loaf.

Later that day, I took a bus back home.
Once there, I washed a load of laundry and took it downstairs to the drying room.

I felt the evening anxiety, and I also felt like there was something easy I could have done to relieve it. Very often I feel a craving for something, like eating a certain food, doing a certain activity with my hands like knitting, or watching a certain TV show to relieve my bad feelings, but this time I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.

Tomorrow I will wash my hair and use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at 2:40, I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry.
After that, I will go to IKEA to buy one of those big blue shopping bags.
star

Guardian of interest and other things

Yesterday I received the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I paid for my Microsoft Word subscription.
I was glad that I managed to do all the morning routines before heading out.

I went to the shopping mall and withdrew cash at an ATM machine.
Later that day, I went to the hairdresser and had my fringe shortened above my eyebrows, neatened evenly and cut so that it fit the shape of my face.

I went shopping and bought the basic necessities.

In the evening I went to the Red Cross youth group, and had a good time there.

In the evening, I went to bed hating myself and wishing for the sweet release of death.
I had nice dreams, and stayed asleep all the way to 1:45 in the afternoon because the dreams were far more entertaining than real life.

When I finally got up, I had a headache and bloody boogers coming out of my nose every time I blew it. I took my morning medicine, washed my face, drank too much coffee, and got dressed. I should buy new clothes because all my clothes are too “summer-y”, I don’t have too many proper clothes for winter and I don’t like wearing trousers.

Anyway, I called my mother and asked her if I can come over to collect my weekly allowance. She said it’s alright.

I caught a bus to my parents’ home. Once at my parents’ home, I walked up the stairs to their apartment instead of using the lift because I didn’t walk to my parents’ home.
Mom answered the door, dad was home as well.
I drank coffee and orange juice and ate feta cheese and cherry tomatoes.

My dad gave me the weekly allowance today.
I walked to the train station and traveled to downtown. I went to a thrift store and bought an amazing dress, and this time I remembered to flash my membership card and get discount.

I took a bus back home. I couldn’t have made it to the wellness- themed happening today, it was getting late and it was already closed. And I also forgot that I was supposed to go see the movie Blackkklansman today.

On the bus, there was an old drunkie who kept on cursing out loud.

Once back at my home town, I went to the shopping mall and visited the supermarket to buy chocolate to fuel my angsty bout.

Once back home, I managed to wash a load of laundry, deal my pills into my Dosett, stuff like that.

I took my evening medicine, sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils, put on a nightie, and went to bed. I watched Transformers: Prime on my Netflix app.

Sometimes I feel like I need to figure myself out.
I wish my body could just tell me what I need to do in order to feel better; what kind of food should I eat, what kind of exercise should I do, what kind of medication should I take?
star

Liberal amounts of coffee

Last night I had dreams that I forgot as soon as I woke up.
I got up early, about at half past nine o’clock in the morning. I felt amazed because it has been a long time since I had been up and about at that time of the morning.
I took my morning medicine, brushed my teeth, put lotion on my skin, and didn’t bother with washing my face because my skin felt a bit irritated. I got dressed and had breakfast; a bowl of oatmeal porridge with chia seeds, oodles of fresh fruits and vegetables, and liberal amounts of coffee.
I had to take one tranquilizer because I felt moody and speedy, like I was experiencing the second PMS of this month.

I did some lifts with dumbbells; I am going to do this 21- day challenge where you lift weights every second day in certain sets, and every second day you let your muscles rest. In a month, I will have toned arms and be stronger as well.

I went to see Eleclya today. I took a train to her home town, and once at her home, she answered the door still in her pajamas and with her face scrunched up at the sudden light. She had just woken up when I rang the doorbell.

I made coffee and ate honey- roasted peanuts, Oreo chocolate, and blue corn tortilla crisps.
Later Suavecita came over as well, we were heading to an International Women’s Day party at Girls’ House. Actually, International Women’s Day is tomorrow, but Girls’ House is not open on Fridays, so it was kind of a pre- party.
I let out such a horrid fart that smelled like toxic waste, it made Eleclya gag and Suavecita laugh. I was astonished at my own capacity of stinking up public places.

We took a train to downtown, and then a subway to Girls’ House. Mirette was there as well.
I ate some savory treats, pieces of white bread with slices of cucumber and chive- flavored cream cheese on them. I ate one marzipan rose from the cake, and some salty licorice cookies, and drank juice and coffee.
We all had a good time, I should visit Girls’ House more often even if the place is actually meant for girls and women under 29 years old, and I am already 30 years old. But then again, they won’t actually ask for an ID or boot you out.

Later that day when I left, I got a free gift; a tube of face wash and another tube of face cream. Thank you so much!

I went to a thrift store on the same street, they didn’t have any clothes that would have interested me. I went to another thrift store across the same street, and to my delight I noticed that the nightshirts weren’t out of sale, but rather had been put on another rack.

I took a subway to another part of the town and went to another thrift store. I wanted to buy a gorgeous dress, but it cost about 329 euros! There is no way I can afford that, it’s almost half of the rent of my apartment.

I went to another thrift store, and asked the shop assistant to set aside a gorgeous dress that I am going to buy tomorrow.
I went to a stationery shop in the local shopping mall, and bought a blue ink pen and two packets of refills with my bonus points.

I took a subway to the city center and then a train back to my home town. Once back at home, I was disappointed to see that I still had not received any mail.
I put my new belongings to their rightful places, put the trash to recycling, and made some coffee.

Later that day, Lita came for a visit. I washed her laundry, and she took a shower.
Meanwhile, I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

I read some political and religious stuff on the Internet, it made my head spin. I decided to go to bed right away.

Tomorrow I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will pay my Microsoft Word subscription, and then I will go to the dressmaker and pay them for the mended clothes.
After that, I will have a hairdresser’s appointment; I will have my fringe shortened, neatened, and cut so that it fits the shape of my face.
In the evening I will go to the thrift store and buy the dress that I mentioned. After that I will go to the Red Cross youth group, and then make sure that I know where one place resides in downtown so I know how to go there on Saturday.
Once back at my home town, I will go shopping for some basic stuff. I will buy the weekly amount of soy milk, fruits, vegetables, and some organic vegan meals that I can heat up. I also need to buy toilet paper, household paper, shampoo, conditioner, xylitol drops, and Vim cleaner.

On Saturday, I will go visit the place in downtown; there is a self- care & well- being themed happening. After that, I will go to movies to see Stan & Ollie.
Between that, I will do housework at home; take out the recycling, scrub the bathroom, and replace the towels.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on the same way. Once at my parents’ home, I will receive the weekly allowance from my father, and call my granny.
I will go to IKEA to buy a duvet set, and a proper shower curtain rail. I will use the shower curtain rail not only for hanging up the shower curtain, but also for hanging my bed sheets to dry.
star

Two nice days

I had dreams that I forgot as soon as I woke up.

I got up about at noon, took my morning medicine, brushed my teeth, washed my face, put lotion on my skin, got dressed, and had breakfast.
I was in a terribly angry mood, as if I had PMS again. At least I didn’t take tranquilizers this time.

Later that day, I went to the health center to get my shots. Before that, my care worker called me and asked where I was, and I suggested that we cancel today’s appointment and have a new one next Monday. She was okay with that.
Getting my shots didn’t hurt at all; I got a tetanus shot, because the last one was given twenty years ago. I also got a flu shot, I am going to get another later this year.

I traveled to downtown on a train and went to Twinkle café. My mother was there, she gave me the weekly allowance. Mirette was there as well.
I ate some pea soup, rye bread, cookies, and jam buns.

Later that day, I took a tram to another part of the town and visited a comic book shop, a thrift store, and an eco- market to look for stuff I could buy on Friday; the comic book shop had two DC Lobo comics, and the thrift store didn’t have those nightshirts I had wanted to buy for a long time. As for the eco- market, it was okay.

I took a subway to the town center and then a train back home. Once there, I went to the shopping mall and put the twenty euros into my bank account, so I could pay for my Netflix subscription; otherwise, I would have bought a Netflix gift card which would have cost more and also produced plastic waste.
I also bought a box of coffee grounds and a new toothbrush.

I had a nice evening and managed to do all the evening routines, I didn’t even feel anxious when going to bed, even if I stayed up late.

Last night I had dreams where I tried to live my best life before it was over.
I woke up early and kept on thrifting in and out of sleep, and kept on looking at my smartphone clock so I knew when I had to get up. At some point, I finally got up, and I was already achy and stiff and sick of this day.

I took my morning medicine, took a shower, and did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment. I didn’t bother with brushing my teeth.

I went to the good life habits group today, we went bowling in an entertainment center in another town. Once there, one of the male members of the group told me I look pretty. I didn’t know how to react, so I said nothing.

One of the counselors gave us a lift, and once there, I gave Hilda her Valentine’s day card. She was really happy about it.
We talked a lot, and I learned that she likes writing too, and is working on a musical. I think that’s awesome! Speaking of musicals, there is a Finnish production of Amelie, the amazing French movie that I have seen many times and still adore. If it is ever shown in the metropolitan area, I will go see it.

We had a good time bowling, no one cared about winning as long as we had all had fun.
After the group, I was given a lift back home.

Once at my home, I noticed that I had received a notification about a package waiting for me at the post office. I had also received the same letter I had mailed to a Norwegian friend, it was sent back to my address.

I took a restless nap, and then I caught a bus to the post office. I went there to re- send the letter and pick up the package. It was my Etsy order, the return address stickers.

I caught a bus back to my home town and went to the shopping mall. I noticed that the local supermarket has started selling Easter cards, including those that have their postage fee paid by a charitable company. I have already picked the proper design that I am going to send to my lovely friends.

Once back home, I did a little bit of this and that. I watched The Good Place and How Sarah Got Her Wings on Netflix, fetched the laundry from downstairs, booked an appointment for a hairdresser, and shaved my chin pubes.

I was already dreading the evening, when I had to do all the routines and go to bed. I felt like the world was crumbling around me, and all the nice things that happened today didn’t have any value. I can’t wait until next Tuesday when I have the doctor’s appointment, and I can get some medication for the evening anxiety.

Tomorrow I will take my second- hand blankets to Eleclya’s home, and then me, her, and Suavecita will go to the pre- Women’s day party at Girls’ House.
I will also mail a birthday card to a close friend, and go to a couple of thrift stores to book some articles of clothing.

Friday will be a busy day; I will pay my Microsoft Word subscription, pay for my mended clothes at my favorite dressmaker and bring them three more articles of clothing to be mended, and then I will have an appointment with a hairdresser. I will have my terf bangs shortened and neatened and cut so that they fit the shape of my face.
I will go thrift store prowling and buy some dresses and nighties and a few long- sleeved Marimekko shirts.
In the evening, I will go to the Red Cross youth group.

On Saturday, I will go to this happening that is centered around mental and physical well- being; it is promoted by a Finnish MP whom I am going to vote in the next election.
Along with that, I am going to spend most of the day doing housework; take out the recycling, replace the towels, and scrub the bathroom.
In the evening, I will try and go to movies to see BlackKklansman.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on the same way. I will call my granny, and my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I might go to IKEA and buy a duvet set.
star

A tomato and a plum

Last night I had weird dreams. I woke up early but continued sleeping till noon.

I got up, took my morning medicine, washed my face, dabbed lotion on my skin, and got dressed. I didn’t bother with brushing my teeth. I ate a decent breakfast; a bowl of oatmeal porridge with chia seeds, and also ate a tomato and a plum.

I was in a terribly angry mood, for no reason at all. I took two tranquillizers, and then I went to see Eleclya. We had agreed to meet today.

Once at the bus, I started feeling sleepy; I guess it was the tranquillizers.

Once at Eleclya’s home, we had coffee, chocolate and crisps, and cuddled her pet rabbit. The rabbit, Torsti, flirted with me; he kept on running in circles around my feet.

After a while, I took a bus to downtown, and went to the cosmetics section in the local department store.

I walked all the way to another part of the town, and went to two thrift stores. The second one had amazing dresses and Marimekko blouses, I am going to buy some of them on Friday when I receive money.

I traveled back home, and managed to do all the evening routines. I even went to sleep before my evening anxiety set in.

Tomorrow I will go to the local health center to get my vaccinations done. After that I will go back home, my care worker will come for the weekly appointment. I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit.
I will go to Twinkle café, there is a Shrovetide celebration. My mother will be there as well, she will give me the weekly allowance. I will use it to renew my Netflix subscription, and buy a new toothbrush.

On Wednesday, I will go bowling with the good life habits group. I will finally give Hilda her Valentine’s day card.
I will go swimming after the group.

On Thursday, I will go visit Eleclya, Suavecita will be there as well. We will go to Girls’ House for the International Women’s Day pre- party.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will pay my Microsoft Word subscription, and go to my favorite dressmaker to pay for the mended clothes and bring them three more clothes to be mended.
I will buy the basic groceries, and then I will go for a real shopping spree.
I will go to the Red Cross youth group in the evening.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there. I will call my granny, and my dad will give me the weekly allowance.
star

Sadie's birthday party

I couldn’t sleep much last night, even if I had remembered to take my evening medicine. I don’t know why I felt so chipper.
I stayed up late, doing a bit of housework; I looked for stuff to give away to charity, scrubbed the toilet bowl and the wash basin in the bathroom, took the blankets and pillows and mattress to the balcony, and bagged the trash.
I went to sleep on the sofa about at six o’clock in the morning. I slept pretty well and got up at ten o’clock in the morning. I don’t remember if I had dreams.

After getting up, I took my morning medicine and did the morning routines.
I spent the morning playing the games on the website beta.freerice.com. In my quest of becoming a good person, I am going to play the games on the site every day until I have donated 5,000 grains of rice to the poor.

Later that day, I packed my stuff and left, and took the household waste and biological waste to recycling.
I took a train to Eleclya’s home town.
Once at her home, Suavecita had just come from the shower and Eleclya was blow- drying and styling her hair.
Mirette was listening to music on her laptop, and Torsti the bunny rabbit was leaping about. He nibbled on Eleclya’s recharger cord until it broke, and Eleclya was so mad she couldn’t even perform the Angry Dance she once performed when her package was late.

I got my period today.

I gave Mirette an old blouse of mine, she liked it very much.
Odessa came for a visit as well, we were all heading to Sadie’s home for her birthday party.
Suavecita drove us all to a shopping mall, I waited in her car while the others went shopping for treats and gifts and cards for the party. They stayed away for almost an hour and half, and I amused myself by fiddling with my smartphone until the battery was out.
After they were done and came back, Eleclya and Mirette complained that the whole car smells like my farts. It’s true, I had let out a couple of bumrippers, but I wasn’t aware that the smell had stayed so long.

Suavecita drove us to Sadie’s home, she actually drove past the street where Sadie and her husband live because me and the other girls kept on bleating.
Once at Sadie’s party, Annie was visiting as well.
We gave Sadie gifts and cards and treats and hugs, sang the Happy Birthday song to her, ate the cake and drank coffee, took plenty of friendship selfies, joked around, and soon it was time to leave. Well, we had arrived almost two hours late to the party.

Suavecita drove us back to Eleclya’s home town. One of my friends was feeling psychotic and started screaming how much she hates herself. It made us all feel very awkward and annoyed, and I quickly excused myself and left.
When I was walking to the bus station, the cool and crisp winter air made me feel a bit better. Actually, it was bitterly cold outside, it made my ears turn painfully crimson.

I caught a bus back home, even if I could have taken a train, but I needed to be alone with my thoughts.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils, took a depression shower, and went to sleep on the sofa. I had to turn off my smartphone because it kept on beeping.

Tomorrow the first thing to do is to shave my armpits and my chin pubes and try the new Rosy Cheeks face mask from Lush. I also need to wash my hair.
I will go visit my parents and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way to their home. I will call my granny.
My dad will give me the weekly allowance, I will buy greeting cards and postage stamps.
Once back home, I will do the rest of the housework.
star

My first of March was pretty nice

I haven’t updated much because my Internet connection was out. I might call the apartment service on Monday and ask them if an online connection is included in the rent.

The weather has been warmer and sunnier these days, but I know there will be a lot of surprise winters before actual spring.
I have ditched my winter coat, cap and scarf and started using a peacoat and a Russian mathroska scarf. I might take the winter coat to a dry cleaner and ask them to scrub away the black stripy stains on it; they didn’t go away when I washed them in the washing machine. I will also take the coat to my favorite dressmaker and ask them to “fortify” the pockets with denim material, because the pockets have great big honkin’ holes in them.

Last night I had a dream about the following days; Friday, when I was supposed to receive money, Saturday, when I was supposed to go visit my friends, and Sunday, when I was supposed to go visit my parents. In those dreams, every single one of those plans went to hell in a handbasket.

I also had a dream where me and my friends were visiting a Finnish lakeshore for a swim. When I woke up, I felt unhappy that the dream will never come true, and then I realized that I don’t actually mind it that much.
I also had a dream about one of the novels I am writing; a transboy tries to prove himself by jumping off the high dive at a swim club, and succeeds.
It’s really annoying that all the novels I was working on are stored at my old laptop that broke a long time ago. I pretty much need to get a proper laptop anyway, preferably a MacBook or something.

I got up about at noon and didn’t bother with morning routines, I just took my morning medicine and got dressed.
After I had received my weekly allowance, I went to the shopping mall and withdrew the cash. Then I went to the supermarket and bought seven jugs of unsweetened organic soy milk, three packages of rye bread, two boxes of vegan butter, and lots of fruits and vegetables; tomatoes, kiwis, garlics, kales, cucumbers, plums, and such. I also bought ecological dish- washing liquid and laundry detergent.
I also bought a small box of salty licorice drops.

Once back home, I put all the groceries to their rightful places and ate the licorice drops in one go. Then I made a dash to the bathroom and threw up; I guess it was because I had eaten lots of candy in one go into an empty stomach.

Later that day, I went to visit my favorite dressmaker to pay them for mending my clothes; I paid them and gave them two another articles of clothing, a purple and green Dirndl dress that had a tear between the hem and the back, and the edge of the hem needed to be mended too. I also had a kitchen towel that was torn at the part that you use to hang it.
The dressmaker and her husband were very nice people, the dressmaker even made me a cup of coffee. She told me I can pay next week, I will also bring them three more clothes to be mended.

I went to the stationery shop and bought two birthday cards and some cute stationery.

I went to the sauna and washed my face, hair and body. I envisioned myself in a lakeshore sauna on a sunny Midsummer evening, wearing a LUSH face mask, beating myself with a fresh birch “vihta”, or “vasta”, depending which Finnish dialect you use, and washing my hair with lake water.

Once back home, I dabbed lotion on my skin and put on a more feminine top, and felt better about myself.
To put it this way, I don’t like wearing trousers, I enjoy wearing skirts and dresses. I also enjoy wearing sensible and modest old- timey clothing.

In the evening, I washed two loads of laundry.
I went to the pharmacy to pick up a batch of my anti- depressants. I also went to the supermarket and bought a huge bar of chocolate, and ate it on my way back home.

Once back home, I ate the rest of the chocolate, dealt the pills into both of my Dosetts, and wrote the greetings and addresses on the birthday cards. I also took the laundry downstairs to the drying room, I will fetch it tomorrow as the first thing in the morning

In the evening, out of curiosity, I read a couple of Wikipedia articles about Marquise De Sade, and they triggered me very badly. I started having evening anxiety, but it was over at midnight.

Tomorrow I will start doing housework; I will replace the towels, take out the recycling, take my blankets and pillow and mattress to the balcony, and fetch my laundry from the downstairs drying room.
I will go to Eleclya’s home, our friend Suavecita will give us and Mirette a lift to Sadie’s home, she will have a birthday party.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents, and take the plastic waste to recycling on my way there. My dad will give me 20 euros, I will buy a new brassiere and a couple of postage stamps.
star

Happy birthday, sweet prince!



Happy 101th birthday to a wonderful actor and a gentleman extraordinaire; Roger Caesar Marius Bernard de Delgado Torres Castillo Roberto, (1st March 1918 - 18th June 1973) who is famous for portraying the first incarnation of the Master in the awesome TV series Doctor Who