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Night of the Arts

I had dreams last night, but I don’t remember much about them.

I woke up when my smartphone rang. It was my nurse from the psychiatric center, she told me that we have to move the date for our next appointment. We agreed for next month’s first Friday. She said she admires how flexible I am.

I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, got dressed, and then I took a long, good look into a mirror and realized that I look a bit grubby around the edges. I started thinking that I am thirty years old already, and I can see my first wrinkles coming up. I am obsessed with making myself as pretty as I can, I don’t know if it’s selfish vanity or healthy self- care, but anyway, to me the signs of oldness are the signs of my oncoming death.

I put some lotion on my face and checked my online bank account. I had received money, so I went to the supermarket and withdrew the cash. I bought a few cartons of oat milk.
I could have gone to the library, but I forgot.
An elderly lady told me that my flowery dress looked pretty.

Once back home, I watched two Keeping up Appearances episodes on DailyMotion; Driving Mrs. Fortesque and Daisy’s Toy Boy.

Later in the afternoon, Mirette came for a visit. We left in an hour; we were heading to an annual culture happening called Night of the Arts.

We saw two concerts, I was bothered by wasps that kept on circling me, Mirette took some photos, and then we went to a café to have a feast.
I got a rye bread sandwich with lemon- flavored mayonnaise and some cold- smoked salmon; a moist chocolate cupcake with peanut butter topping; and a salmiakki latte.

I left a bit earlier because I didn’t fancy staying late in downtown. I took a bus back home.
Once there, I took my evening medicine and brushed my teeth, and washed a load of laundry and hung it on the drying rack.

Tomorrow I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest. Me and Mirette will go visit thrift stores that specialize in vintage & retro clothes; I will buy all the clothes that I like.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; take out the recycling because I didn’t do it last week, scrub the bathroom from floor to ceiling because it desperately needs it, and also replace the towels and wash them along with the plastic carrier bags where I keep the recyclable waste. They need to be washed every now and then.
I will go to the gym as well, do stretches and use the cross- trainer.

On Sunday, I will do the usual weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpits and chin, wash my hair, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go see my parents. My father will give me the weekly allowance, and this time I will remember to call my granny; I have forgotten to call her for the past weeks, and I am a bit ashamed.
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An art group

I was already awake before my smartphone alarm woke me up. There was a terrible thunderstorm outside, just like the weather forecasts had predicted. I went to the bathroom to take a pee, wondered if I should already get up and get going and also wash my greasy hair, but I went back to bed.
After my alarm woke me up, I snoozed for fifteen minutes and then I got up.

I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put on deodorant and face cream, and got dressed. I ate garlic and drank cocoa.

I took a bus to Calm Winds and called the counsellor on my way there; he advised me how to get there. It was easy peasy once I found the entrance.

The art group consisted of three elderly nice ladies, one of them was the counsellor. We introduced ourselves to each other, talked about our plans for the future groups, a bit about our lives, and then we went to another room. The counsellor read some poems, I read a haiku I had written in junior high when we were educated about haikus in our Finnish class and read two funny poems.

After the group, I caught a bus to the city center and went to Fountain House. I used the computer to go on the Internet and click all the free buttons on Greater Good website.

I took a train back home, went to the local library, and used one computer and one tablet for the donations, and picked up my requests; two children’s books and five X- Men DVDs. The X- Men character Nightcrawler is my newest fandom husbando.

I went back home, put the books and DVDs to the bookshelf, and read one of the books. I found a Pokémon card, a shiny Slowpoke, between the pages; it has probably been used as a bookmark. I taped it to my collage wall.
I took a shower, washed my hair and face, put lotion on my skin, and cleaned my teeth. I put on the same clothes I had been wearing.
I also shaved my chin and used the face muscle trainer.

I decided to go for an urbane adventure. I took a bus, then a subway to downtown, then a train to another town, then a bus to another, and then a subway back to downtown and then a train back home.
I picked up some trash, paid compliments to strange people, and bought some candy; a bag of Skittles, a box of chocolate raisins, and a Twix bar.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine, sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils, brushed my teeth, and dabbed lotion on my face.

My neck is breaking out, I have huge pimples on my throat and on the nape of my neck.

Tomorrow the first thing to do is to wash laundry.
I will receive money. I will go to the nearest bank to withdraw it; the ATM machines only allow bills to be withdrawn, but if I have, say, 54 euros and 65 cents in my bank account, I want to withdraw it all. I will buy some food, like oat milk and some fruits and vegetables. I also need to go to the supermarket downtown and buy a few cups of raw porridge so I will have breakfast until my next check.
I will go the library, then to the gym, and in the evening, me and Mirette will go to this annual happening called Night of the Arts.

On Friday, I will receive more money. I will go thrift store prowlin’ and go to all three vintage thrift stores in downtown. I will pay with my Visa Electron, so I can spend the rest of the money on online purchases. I will look for clothes, mainly dresses, and also pillowcases and duvet covers.
In the evening, if I have enough time, I will go to the sauna.
if I have enough money left after the thrift stores, I will order an “I love you to the Moon and back” ornament from Greater Good, a “Keeping up Appearances” fan t- shirt from Love Trend, and two tubes of Nuud deodorant from their website. As for the rest of the money, I need to buy the following things; coat hangers (I will use them to hang my dresses in the closet, I will not store them folded in the cupboard anymore because they will only get wrinkly and I never have enough patience to fold them properly), a ice pack (I will use it to treat my breasts; it is a well- known remedy that if you rub an ice cube or a cold pack against your breasts, they will get firmer. But I will only start doing it after the mammography, in case there isn’t anything wrong with my right breast), a name- day card for a friend, a box of pink ink refills for my pens, a pair of headphones, and interdental brushes and a bottle of organic mouthwash.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; replace the towels, scrub the toilet bowl, take out the recycling.
I might also go to the gym, and I have to visit the local library.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; wash and condition my hair, shave my armpits and chin, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents, collect the weekly allowance, and call my granny.
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My plans for Monday, August 12th - Sunday, August 18th

Monday, August 12th:
I will have an appointment with my doctor at the local health center at eleven o'clock in the morning. I will have my breasts checked out, and I might book an appointment for mammography.
After the appointment, I will go to the supermarket to buy a "Welcome to your new home!" card for Eleclya, and some garlic for myself. After that, I will go to the library and use as many computers as I can to make the daily donations on Greater Good.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past one o'clock in the afternoon. I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry during the visit.
In the evening, I will go visit Eleclya at her new home. I will give her the card and fetch the steam mop I borrowed her.

Tuesday, August 13th:
One of my friends will visit me, I will give them some of my prescribed medication that I don't need anymore.
I will go to Twinkle cafe, and then I will go visit my parents so that my mother can give me the weekly allowance.
I will buy allergy meds and face serum.

Wednesday, August 14th:
I will go to an art group at Calm Winds, a hang- out place for the mentally ill. After that, I will go to Fountain House.

Thursday, August 15th:
I will receive the monthly allowance from my guardian of interest. I will save most of it until tomorrow but I will order an ice cube mold from Etsy.com.
There will be a happening called Night of the Arts downtown, I will go there with Mirette.

Friday, August 16th:
I will receive the weekly allowance from my guardian of interest.
I will go shopping to all of my favorite thrift stores because they have a new selection. I will buy all the amazing clothes I like, and also bedding such as pillowcases and duvet covers, if I can find any. As for the rest of the money, I will buy groceries.

Saturday, August 17th:
I will do the weekly housework; scrub the toilet bowl, replace the towels, and take out the recycling.

Sunday, August 18th:
I will do the weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpits and chin, wash and condition my hair, and use the 12- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go see my parents, my father will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.

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I burpy, I farty, and I know how to party

Last night I had plenty of lucid dreams.
I slept all the way to two o’clock in the afternoon. After getting up, I took my morning medicine with cocoa.

I did the weekly beautifying routines; shaved my armpits and chin, washed my hair and put hair mask on it.
I did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment minus face serum, because I had run out of it. I must buy some next week.
I put lotion on my skin, got dressed, and put on jewelry; earrings and a necklace.

I waited until my mother messengered me and told me that she and dad were home, so I caught a bus to my parents’ home. It was getting late.

My dad answered the door and gave me the weekly allowance. Mom made coffee, and I ate cherry tomatoes and slices of a cinnamon bun loaf, and home- baked blueberry pie. I also drank orange juice.

About at eight o’clock in the evening when it was time to leave, I made another cup of coffee and then took a bus back home; I would have liked to walk but it started raining. I went to the supermarket and bought cocoa powder and four liters of milk.

I went back home and took my evening medicine with cocoa. I sprayed Nasonex into my nostrils.

I was a bit gassy and farted a lot, until my apartment smelled like there was something rotting inside it. I had to keep the balcony door and kitchenette window open.

Tomorrow I will have an appointment with my doctor at the health center at eleven o’clock in the morning. I will discuss the weird pain and hardness in my right breast, and my occasional insomnia.
After that, I will go to the shops to buy a “Welcome to your new home!” card for Eleclya, and some garlic for myself. Then I will go to the library to fetch my requests and use as many computers as I can to click all the free donation buttons on the Greater Good website.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past one o’clock in the afternoon. I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry.
In the evening, I will go visit Eleclya and bring her the card. I will also fetch the steam mop I borrowed her.
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A nice day enough

Last night I had a dream where I was a mutant living in Xavier Academy for Gifted Youngsters, and I got into a fight with Nightcrawler because of his off- color jokes.
(I can take a joke that is nice and smart, but I cannot take insult whitewashed as a joke.)
I wonder what my special superpowers would be if I was a mutant? I would definitely use my powers for good.

After getting up, I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put on a pair of burgundy corduroys (I wanted to wear a dress or a skirt, but I only wear them with leggings, and right now I have got only two pairs of leggings and both of them were in the laundry) and a striped t- shirt.

I had received money today, so I paid a commission to Luisita and renewed my Netflix subscription.

I received a phone call from a nurse at the local health center; I explained that I have had weird pain and a lump- like hardness in my right breast, and I want to have it checked out because there is breast cancer in my family (my granny had it, she made it out alive but had to have her other breast amputated); better safe than sorry, as they say. She told me that the next time my doctor is available is next Monday at eleven o’clock in the morning; it’s a tad bit early, but it’s the only time he will be able to see me.

I went out for errands; I withdrew cash and went to the stationery shop to buy ten postage stamps, refills for my ink pens, and a birthday card for a friend’s daughter who will be five years old tomorrow. Then I went to the supermarket to buy groceries.

Once back home, Mirette went shopping for new sunglasses. I put my shopping to their rightful places, sorted out the laundry, drank cocoa, watched The Good Place on Netflix and Keeping Up Appearances on DailyMotion.

After Mirette came home, we went to the sauna. I washed my hair and my body and sat in the sauna with her for a while. For some reason, the lukewarm temperature made me feel anxious. I threw more water on the stove, and felt better.

Once back home, I put lotion on my skin and got dressed.

I spent the rest of the evening doing a little bit of this and that, and then I went out to the shopping mall to buy some ice cream and a pretzel and mail the greeting cards.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine, and this time I remembered to spray Nasonex into both of my nostrils. I also cleaned my teeth.

Mirette went to a concert.
I did some stretches, and then I went to bed. I watched some X- Men cartoon episodes on YouTube.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, and replace the towels.
Me and Mirette will go to a punk rock- themed street block, and then to a free concert.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluff, wash my hair and put conditioner in it, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
When I go visit my parents, I will walk there and back. My dad will give me the weekly allowance; I will call my granny.
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A day that turned out to be nice :3

I stayed in bed all the way to three o’clock in the afternoon, because I was having such intriguing dreams; not necessarily sweet dreams, but intriguing nonetheless.
The dreams made me think that I am not trying to live my life to the fullest; if I don’t do something fun and entertaining each day, I am not trying my best.

I woke up when my smartphone rang. It was the secretary from the municipal dentist; yesterday I left a request to call me back.
I was told that the only free time was at the beginning of next month in the neighboring town, in the local high school. I jotted it down and went back to sleep.

I got up later, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, and got dressed. Me and Mirette went to the supermarket to buy groceries, once back home Mirette cooked lasagna and I made cocoa.

I went out to visit a couple of museums. The first thing to do was to go the library to use one iPad and one laptop to make the daily donations to Greater Good.

I took a train to downtown and went to a street art museum. I wanted to go to three more museums, but they were all closed for the day.
I took a train back home.

Once there, I washed a load of laundry. I went outside to sit on the yard swing and write into my diary.

I went back home and took the laundry off the washer. I hung me and Mirette’s underwear on the drying rack and took the rest of the laundry downstairs to the drying room. I took the laundry I had left there before back home, but I didn’t feel like sorting it out yet.

In the evening Mirette came home. I took my evening medicine, and then I suddenly had a realization; literally nothing prevented me from having a proper wash this evening! I cleaned my teeth, washed my face, and put lotion on my skin. Then I emptied my MoonCup.
I put on a clean nightie and put Hydrocortison on my eczema. Then I went to bed.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will pay a commission to Luisita and renew my Netflix subscription.
Along with groceries, I will buy greeting cards and postage stamps, a new brassiere, a new pair of headphones, and refills for my ink pens.
I will go to the gym, do stretches, and use the crosstrainer.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna and wash my hair.

On Saturday, I will go to a punk street block and then to a free concert with Mirette.

On Sunday, I will do the usual beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluffs, wash and condition my hair, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents, I will walk there and back. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.
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Another nice day.

Last night I had a dream where I was in a weird hotel or a boarding house. There was Peter Parker aka Spider- Man, he was a transgender man, there was also his Asian roommate from the Avengers film series.

In another dream I traveled to my granny’s hometown.

I got up at noon, put on a bathrobe, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement.
I shaved the hair off my armpits and chin, washed and conditioned my hair, and used the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
Then I put Miniderm basic lotion on my skin and deodorant into my freshly shaved armpits.

Later in the afternoon, I went to see my parents. I took a bus there.

Once at my parents’ home, mom answered the door and dad was home as well. He gave me 20 euros.

I gave mom one of the knitted blanket squares, and she made me coffee. I also drank orange juice and ate cherry tomatoes, slices of bun loaf, and slices of buttered rye bread.

Later I left and took a bus back to my hometown. I went to an eco- shop to buy a tube of toothpaste and two packages of paper tissues, then I went to the supermarket and bought a package of paper bags and a roll of biodegradable trash bags; I am going to use the paper bags for collecting biological waste, and the biodegradable trash bags for carrying the paper bags to the bio- tank outside my home.

I went back home, grabbed my steam mop from my cleaning cupboard, and left. I caught a train to Eleclya’s hometown and went to visit her.
I helped her with tidying up her apartment, because she is moving into a new one on Tuesday.
Suavecito was there as well, he was helping her.
He told me that his cousin is in hospital, I decided to go visit her tomorrow.

Later in the evening, I caught a train back home. I went to the supermarket and bought a Get Well Soon! card from Suavecito’s cousin.
I went back home, washed two loads of laundry and took them downstairs to the drying room. I also took out the recycling.

Tomorrow my care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past noon. I will wash the dishes.
After that, I will go see my own nurse at the psychiatric center, we have an appointment at two o’clock in the afternoon.
After the appointment, I will go see Suavecito’s cousin in the hospital.
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Finally I went to the gym!

Last night I had a dream where I was visiting the summer cottage, which used to be my mother’s childhood home up north. In the same dream, I went to another town with one of my junior high teachers and two young girls. I picked a fight with them and called them rude names and beat them up; I absolutely hate those dreams where I end up fighting with girls; I want to uplift girls, not bring them down!
In both of the dreams, it was a dark winter night. There were fluffy clouds and bright stars in the sky.

I got up in the morning, took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day. I didn’t bother with having a wash or eating a decent breakfast, I just threw on some clothes.
I also managed to wash my underwear and actually hang it on the drying rack. I still need to stock up on underwear; I need to have fourteen brassieres (right now I have eight of them), twelve pairs of leggings (right now I have only two of them), and fourteen underpants (I don’t actually know how many I have got, about five or six). I need to have fourteen of them so I will have enough for two weeks, because I change my underwear each day.

I received my weekly allowance from the guardian of interest today. I paid my membership fee to the private masseur & physiotherapist company, and then I paid a commission to Luisita.

I left and went to the shopping mall. I visited the stationery shop and bought a new change purse, three greeting cards and proper postage stamps for them. Then I went to the pharmacy and bought a new batch of anti- allergy medicine. I chose the smallest batch, the one with ten pills, because that’s all I could afford. Then I went grocery shopping.
I also popped to my favorite café and ate a cold- smoked salmon bagel and a donut with small licorice candies and a whole Oreo on it! It was yummy.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places and started working on the greeting cards. I wrote the addresses, greetings, and signatures, and put stamps, Priority stickers, and return address stickers on them.

Later that day, I put on my gym clothes and left. I went to the library first and used one iPad and three computers to click all the free daily donation buttons on the Greater Good website.

I went to the gym, did some stretches, and walked on the treadmill for ten minutes while watching the second season of the TV show Derry Girls on Netflix. I actually planned to walk for an hour, but I got bored.

Once back home, I chilled around for a while and then I went to the sauna. I washed my hair with the banana shampoo, it made my hair smelling all fruity and nice. Then I went to the sauna for a while.

I went back home, put lotion on my skin, used the face muscle exerciser for a while, got dressed, and then I left again.

I took some discarded trolleys to the supermarket, donated a little change to a good cause, picked up some trash, paid compliments to people, visited a few shops in the shopping mall, stuff like that.

I have noticed that I usually feel calmer and more collected in the evenings nowadays, when all the day’s hustle is done and my blood sugar has leveled out.

I went back home and took my evening medicine. Then I remembered that I had forgotten to use Nasonex, so I went to the bathroom to my medicine cabinet, and it took me two extra visits to the bathroom before I finally learned that I needed to use the nasal spray.
I still have some of my prescribed pills left in the medium- sized Marimekko purse where I used to keep my Dosett; I am planning to buy two bigger ones so I can keep both my medication and nutritional supplements there. And I need two, so I can keep one in my backpack and one in my medicine cabinet.

Tomorrow, depending how early I am awake, I will go to two block parties before going to a free concert at my hometown. My friends Odessa, Eleclya, and Suavecito will be there as well.
As for the rest of the day, I will do the usual housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels, and also wash more laundry.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluff, wash my hair and put on a hair mask, and then use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will walk to my parents’ home. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I also need to ask my parents about buying me a new laptop because the old one is falling apart.
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Z?

I stayed awake all night, because I found it hard to fall asleep.
I tried to remember if I had taken my evening medicine or taken one pill less. I guess I should purchase a Dosett.
Anyway, I tried to play the Glad Game; now I could read or knit or watch the DVDs from the library. I also decided that as soon as the health center would be opened, I would go there and ask for some pills I could take on the occasional sleepless night.

In the morning, about at four o’clock, I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement. I was a bit careless and almost took an extra anti- psychotic pill by accident, fortunately I noticed my mistake in time.

About before five o’clock in the morning when the dawn was breaking, Mirette came home. She had visited her father’s apartment with Eleclya and Suavecito.
We farted a lot and then went to sleep in our respective beds.

In the morning, I took a shower. I washed my hair with the last drops of shampoo, and also washed my armpits and face. After shower, I put basic lotion on my skin and got dressed.

I spent the morning doing a little bit of this and that, mostly farting.
Later that day I went to the health center right after it was opened; by then the sleep debt started taking its toll, so I decided to go back home.

I slept all day, except when my care worker came for the weekly appointment. I managed to wash about half of the dishes.

I went back to bed and slept for the rest of the day, except when I got up to change into nighties and take my evening medicine.

I slept sweetly all the way to noon. I took my morning medicine, dabbed lotion on the flaky skin on my face, and got dressed.
I left, and held the door open for Perry who had come to see Mirette. They were going for a vacation in Baltic countries.

I went to the supermarket to buy a mint- chocolate truffle bar. Then I went to the train station, but I decided to turn back and go home because I had noticed that my smartphone had only sixteen percent left, and not to mention I was so low on blood sugar that my hands were shaking and my arms were wobbly.

I went back home and had a little snack.
Later that day, Mirette and Perry left. I went out for errands; I took a bus to the post office and picked up a package. It was the face muscle trainer I had ordered from Amazon.co.uk.

I took a bus back and went to the library to pick up my requests and use three computers and one iPad to click all the daily donation buttons.

I went back home, made a little cocoa, and then I was off again.
I took a train and then a bus to downtown and went to a museum. I didn’t stay long.

I called my mumsie and asked her if I can come over for a little bit, she said yes. I took a train and then a bus to my parents’ home.
Once there, mom answered the door, and dad was home as well. I ate cherry tomatoes and feta cheese and drank orange juice and coffee.

I took a bus back to my hometown. Once there, I went to the library to scan two of my baby photos so I can use them as a reference to a commission for a friend. I also used another computer to click all the daily donation buttons on the Greater Good website.

I took some discarded trolleys to their respective supermarkets, then I went back home. I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

I felt a strange craving; I wasn’t exactly hungry, I just wanted to stuff my face with anything savory.

I no longer have the neurotic need to be healthy and fit all the time. Anyway, I feel like these days I get exhausted very easily, like from using the stairs and stuff. I need to start a proper workout regime, but I don’t always have enough time to go to the gym.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will pay a commission to Luisita and my membership fee to the physiotherapist company; I also need to buy a few greeting cards and postage stamps, a pair of headphones, a new coin purse, another batch of allergy medicine, and go to my favorite thrift stores to buy all the clothes that I like.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels and wash them.
I will go to a block party in a town where my maternal grandparents used to live, and then a concert in my hometown. Suavecito, Eleclya and Odessa will be there as well.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routine; shave my armpits and chin, wash my hair, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will walk to my parents’ home. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, I will discuss with him how to get a new laptop because my current one is falling apart.
I will also call my granny.
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The daily deeds of 30.7.2019


Medicine intake:
💊 Took my morning medicine and biotin supplement
💊 Took my evening medicine and some extra tranquilizers

Nutrition:
🍏 A few mugs of soy milk cocoa
🍏 A few mugs of coffee with sugar and oat milk
🍏 A few candies
🍏 Half of a seitan steak
🍏 Burger with a veggie patty
🍏 A few pieces of chocolate with dried berries
🍏 Few slices of feta cheese
🍏 Two glasses of orange juice

Exercise: nil

Shopping:
💸 Small tube of Bevita lotion
💸 3 small cartons of soy milk
💸 A new pillow

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I'll save my tears for the rainy day

Last night I had nightmares of being bullied by the boys in my junior high school. Like I always say, it’s not like I don’t want to let go of my past but my past won’t let go of me.
In one of the dreams, a boy attempted to molest me, I screamed out loud but it sounded more like a whisper.
In another dream, one of the boys has intentionally taken a dump in his pants and I had to put him in diapers.
I also had a dream where I was invited to a party by a teacher, I tried telling her that the boys were bullying me but she ignored me.
In another dream, I went on a cruise ship. That dream was somehow depressing.
In another dream, I lived in a society that was much like Gilead from The Handmaid's Tale. The society was controlled by the military, and all fertile women were forcefully impregnated.

I got up when the doorbell rang; it was Mirette’s care worker. She and Mirette talked about her own personal stuff, meanwhile I took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, put lotion on my skin and got dressed.

After the worker (she was very nice) left, we traveled to the summer resort together; first a train, then a subway, then a bus.
It was a chilly and grey day, and I didn’t mind one bit; I’m glad that the sizzling, scalding heat wave is over.
And for some reason, I was wearing nothing but a cotton dress (and underwear of course). When there was the heat wave, I boldly walked around in a long- sleeved shirt, a Dirndl dress (they usually have two layers of cotton), and leggings under them. Boo yah.

Once at the summer resort, there were lots of nice people around. There is also this person who has masculine features but wears feminine clothes, they are always nice to me.

I ate a veggie burger and a seitan steak, green grapes, feta cheese, cinnamon cookies, and candy. I didn’t actually enjoy my time there because the younger girls were making such a noise, they screamed their heads off and banged tables and clapped their hands and so on.

In the evening me and Mirette caught a bus to the town where she used to live, I caught a subway to downtown and Mirette caught a subway to her father’s home.
I took a bus to my parents’ home. Mom answered the door; both my father and my brother were also home. (As I have probably mentioned before, there’s a renovation going on in his apartment so he has to stay at my parents’ home.)
Mom gave me twenty euros. I told her that I have a membership card to the aquarium, and that I have started geocaching as a new hobby. I should have guessed that she got all huffy at me; the membership card was a waste of money and geocaching is dangerous.
I drank orange juice and coffee and ate a few slices of feta cheese.
I gave my mother one of the knitted squares.

I was a bit unhappy when I left. I scuffled my feet when I walked to the bus stop.
I took a bus to my hometown and went to the shopping mall. First I went to the pharmacy and bought a small tube of cream for the flaky skin between my nose and upper lip; then I went to the furniture shop and bought a new pillow. I went to the grocery shop and bought six small jugs of soy milk, and then I went back home.

I have decided to buy a new coin purse; the one I have sheds glitter everywhere. I might buy a cute little Marimekko purse, or something made of upcycled material. I also need to buy a pair of proper headphones.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places; I put the pillow onto my bed, and the lotion tube into my cosmetics purse; which reminds me, I need a new cosmetics purse as well because the old one that I ordered from Wish.com is falling apart. I put the milk into the fridge.
I plugged my smartphone to the charger, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

As for the rest of the evening, I drank cocoa and quarreled with the delusions.

I hope I will get my period soon, I have had PMS and ovulation slime long enough.
By the way, I have noticed that I no longer have evening anxiety.

I might go visit my granny in the beginning of October.

Tomorrow my own care worker will come for the weekly appointment at half past noon. I will wash the dishes, including all the ones that are washed rarely; the toothbrush mug, all the scissors I can find in my home, my spork and reusable straw, and other stuff. After she has left, I will wash my hair. Then I will go to a smartphone shop and ask them to help me out with my smartphone; for some reason, my smartphone calendar keeps on sending all the appointments to my GMail account, and it annoys me big time.
I should also ask about virus protection.
After that, I will go to Fountain House.
I will go to two art museums in downtown, and libraries as well.

On Thursday I have nothing special to do, no appointments or anything. I will go to the library, or perhaps a couple of museums, and then to the aquarium. I might also go visit the amusement park and go to the free rides, if it isn’t too crowded and the weather is fine; one of the rides (the one with the pod that slowly rises upwards and you can admire the landscapes all the way to Tallinn) is usually closed if the weather is windy.
At some point, I should go to the gym and use the cross- trainer; now that I don’t have any negative feelings towards my body, I no longer feel the need to exercise too much but I still need to take care of my body.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will pay for the membership to the private masseuse & physiotherapist, pay a commission to Luisita, and also go shopping at my favorite thrift stores and buy all the clothes that I fancy. I will also buy a new pair of headphones, a new purse, a new cosmetics bag, and a few greetings cards and proper postage stamps, and mail them.

On Saturday, I will tidy up my bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels and wash them. I will go to a children’s festival in downtown, then to a block party in the same town where my grandparents lived before, and then to a concert in my neighborhood.

On Sunday, I will wash my hair, shave my armpits and chin, and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will walk to my parents’ home, my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.
I might go to a museum, or the aquarium, or someplace else.

  • Current Mood: melancholy melancholy
  • Current Music: OutKast - Land of a million drums
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Banana shampoo

Yesterday morning I shaved my armpit hair and chin fluffs, washed my hair and put on a face mask, and did the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.

I went to see my parents, my dad gave me twenty euros. I traveled to downtown and went to the nearest Body Shop to buy a bottle of banana shampoo.
I traveled back to my hometown and went to the stationery shop, where I bought greeting cards and postage stamps.

Once back home, I started working on the greeting cards; after that, I went out and took all the bottles and cans to recycling, took some discarded trolleys to their rightful places, and took a bag of useless stuff to a charity shop container.

Last night I had a dream where I visited my granny in her hometown.

I woke up early, but continued sleeping all the way to noon. I got up, took my morning medicine and biotin supplements, got dressed, and went back to bed because I was feeling rather drowsy.

I woke up when the doorbell rang; it was Mirette’s mother who had gone for a visit. She and Mirette discussed her personal stuff, and I decided to go to the supermarket to buy cocoa powder and oat milk.

Once back home, they had left. I decided to head for an urbane adventure; I wanted to go someplace I have been at times, geocaching or simply for a walk, but instead I decided to head to downtown and go to the aquarium.
After all, I never made it there because the trams had changed directions. Instead, I took a train back home and visited the library. I used four computers and one iPad to click all the free daily donation buttons on the Greater Good website.

Once back home, I tidied up a bit, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils.

Tomorrow me and Mirette will go to the summer cottage. Right after that, I will go visit my parents; my mother will give me the weekly allowance. I will deposit it and pay my membership to the physiotherapist & masseur company; as for the rest of the money, I will buy a new pillow, and a pair of headphones.

On Wednesday, my care worker will come for the weekly appointment. I will wash all of the dirty dishes in my apartment, including the ones that are rarely washed; the toothbrush mug, all the scissors I can find, and stuff.
On the same day, I will go visit the library, and a couple of art museums. I also need to wash my hair; from now on, I will wash it two times a week, every Wednesday and every Sunday.

On Thursday, I will go visit the library and a couple of art museums.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will pay a commission to Luisita, and I will also go to my favorite thrift shops to buy all the clothes that I fancy.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, and replace the towels.
I will go to two block parties on the same day.

On Sunday, I will wash my hair and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents, my father will give me the weekly allowance.
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A nice day :3

Last night I had dreams about my former grade school. I should visit the school yard as soon as possible, before the summer break is over.

I got up about at midday, took my morning medicine and biotin supplement. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on toner, serum, cream, and eye cream, and put basic lotion on my skin. I got dressed. I am getting better at taking care of my basic hygiene.

I replaced the towels, washed two loads of laundry, and took out the recycling.

It was a hot and sunny day outside, just like it had been the days before. There is a heat wave in Europe right now, but fortunately it will be over soon.

Later that day, Mirette’s friend Perry gave us a lift to Rige’s home. She had a get- together today, there was also Suavecito, Eleclya, and Odessa. Mirette got some of the other friends’ second- hand clothes, we sang karaoke, and ate Rige’s home- made chocolate cake and cheese croissants.

In the evening I took a bus to Eleclya’s hometown, then a train back home. Once there, I took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils. Mirette stays at Perry’s home tonight.

I scrubbed the toilet bowl, and took the laundry downstairs to the drying room.

Tomorrow I will do the beautifying routines; shave my armpit hair and chin fluffs, take a shower, wash my hair, and put on a hair mask. After that I will do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will take all the empty bottles and cans to the nearest LIDL for recycling, and give the cash to Mirette once she comes home.
I will go visit my parents; my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will make the weekly phone call to my granny.
I will go to the nearest Body Shop and buy shampoo. I will also buy greeting cards and postage stamps, and mail them. I also need to buy some oat milk.
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Thank goodness it's Friday

Last night I had a dream where I went to a New Year party dressed as Alex from The Clockwork Orange.
In another dream, I joined the Girl Scouts. I have been thinking of doing that in real life as well, because there is no age limit in my home country’s scouts and it would give me something to do.
I also had even more dreams of the Weeping Angels from the TV show Doctor Who.

I woke up early and decided that the best way to sleep was my blanket balled up next to my naked body. I had slept naked because there’s a heat wave in my home country.

I got up at ten o’clock in the morning, took my morning medicine and the biotin supplement, and brushed my teeth. Between surfing on the Internet and drinking cocoa, I also put deodorant into my armpits, put basic lotion on my skin, and washed my face and put on toner, serum, lotion, lip balm, and eye cream.

I started wondering how there are people who go to school and work every day, and they still have enough time and energy to do their morning routines in perfect order. I don’t study or work, and I have plenty of time, and still don’t feel like doing the morning routines.

I ate some garlic and made more cocoa.

I received money today. I paid my gym membership fee, paid a commission to Luisita, and then I renewed the Spotify Premium subscription. I decided not to spend any money before my appointment with my hairdresser.

I could have washed the dishes and visited the library, instead I took a nap in order to make time go faster.

I got up when my smartphone alarm rang. I went to the supermarket to buy a big bar of chocolate.
It was a hot, sunny day.

I took a train to Eleclya’s hometown. It took me a while to find the hairdresser, but I found it anyway.
I had my hair washed, and then I had about two centimeters of my dry ends snipped off and my fringe cut shorter. I got discount because I had the Fountain House membership card. The hairdresser was very nice to me.

I went to see Eleclya, her new pet bunny Eddie seemed to have parked himself in front of the door.
We took some selfies with silly filters and petted Eddie, and then I left.

I took a bus to downtown and went to the modern art museum to see an exhibition that will end on Sunday. I went to see other exhibitions as well, and then I visited the shop.

I took a train back to my hometown and went to the supermarket where I bought a box of cocoa powder for Eleclya; I had drunk all her cocoa, and I wanted to make amends. I also bought four jugs of soymilk.

I went back home, took my evening medicine and sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils. I cleaned my teeth; first I used the tongue brush, then I brushed my teeth and used mouthwash.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housecleaning; I need to tidy up the bathroom, wash the dishes, take out the recycling, hoover my mattress and bed, and replace the towels and wash them with the rest of the laundry.
In the afternoon, I will go to Mallard’s house; she has gone to see her relatives, and Eleclya agreed to go water her flowers and take care of Dipsy the dog; he is actually
Eleclya’s dog, but currently lives with Mallard. I will give Eleclya the box of cocoa powder.
Suavecito will be there as well, he will drive us to Rige’s home.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routine; shave my armpit hair and chin fluffs, use the 12- step Korean skincare regiment, and wash my hair and put on a hair mask.
I will go see my parents, I will walk there and back. My father will give me the weekly allowance. I will also call my granny.
As for the money, I will buy a few greeting cards and postage stamps, and also mail them. I will also walk to the western part of downtown, because it’s near my hometown. I will go to the shopping mall and visit The Body Shop to buy a bottle of shampoo.
Once back home, I will continue doing the housework.
  • Current Mood: content content
  • Current Music: Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit
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Daily deeds of 25.07.2019

Food consumed:
🍎 About a bucketful of oat milk cocoa
🍎 Three cups of coffee with white sugar and oat milk
🍎 Three halves of a grilled corn- on- a- cob
🍎 A slice of grilled halloumi cheese
🍎 A handful of feta cheese
🍎 Three garlic bread sticks
🍎 Three wine gums
🍎 Four squares of chocolate with fudge bits

Medicine:
💊 Took my morning medicine
💊 Took my evening medicine
💊 Sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils
💊 Took my biotin supplement

Hygiene:
🧴 Put Miniderm on my body
🧴 Put Hydrocortison on my wrists

Good deeds:
🎗️ Used my smartphone to click all the free daily donation buttons on Greater Good
🎗️ Used my laptop to click all the free daily donation buttons on Greater Good
🎗️ Paid 5 compliments to random people
Tags:
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A day at the summer cottage :3

Last night I had dreams about time travel with the aid of Weeping Angels. I also had dreams of studying in Hogwarts, and seeing my worst fear in the form of a boggart.

I got up and took my morning medicine and biotin supplement, dabbed lotion on my face, brushed my hair, got dressed and put on the usual jewelry; two stud earrings into my ears, and the glittery pink plastic heart- shaped necklace.

Me and Mirette left immediately after my morning routines. We took a train, then a subway, and then a bus to the summer cottage. It was a sunny day and just enough hot.

I drank coffee and ate feta cheese, grilled halloumi cheese and corn on the cob. I also ate wine gums and fudge chocolate for dessert.

I had taken along my favorite book, my laptop, and my knitting, so I wasn’t bored. I mainly sat on a wooden sofa, did a little bit of this and that, and chatted with the others.

Later that day me and Mirette left. I agreed with another counselor that I am not going to visit Girls’ House anymore, and I will go to the summer cottage for the last time next Tuesday; I know it is meant for girls and young women under the age 28, and I am already in my thirties. I am not that rebellious anymore, so I respect their age limit. I am only going to attend their parties, because they can be attended by anyone, including men and boys.

Me and Mirette caught a bus, and then a subway to east. We went to the shopping mall to buy oat milk, and then she went to her father’s home for the sauna and I traveled back home.

Once at home, I noticed that I had a weird feeling; my arms and legs felt wobbly and shaky, and I couldn’t understand why. I had taken my medicine properly, and I had also eaten actual cooked food today. Oh well.

I had wanted to visit an art museum, but I had three jugs of oat milk in my backpack and I didn’t want them to go bad, and it was too late to go to the library.

I took my evening medicine, sprayed Nasonex into both of my nostrils, and made some cocoa. I still feel jittery, but I hope I feel better after a good night’s sleep.

I know that tomorrow is going to be a good day, fingers crossed. Today was a good day as well, nothing bad happened.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I need to pay a commission to Luisita, then the monthly gym membership fee, and also renew Spotify Premium subscription.
I will go to the library to pick up my requested books and use the laptops and an iPad to go to the Greater Good website and click all the daily donation buttons. Then I will go to the hairdresser and have the tips of my hair to cut evenly in layers, and also have my fringe shortened. Fortunately, I get discount there I am a member of the Fountain House and have a membership card to prove it. I asked Eleclya if I can come visit her after that because the hairdresser is in her neighborhood, she said it’s alright.
I will go visit an art museum because there is an interesting show I want to see. The art show will be closed on Sunday and there will be another exhibition.
I will buy groceries, and all the greeting cards that need to be mailed today, and if I can afford it, I will also buy a couple of pairs of leggings.
Once back home, I have to wash the dishes, wash a load of laundry, and iron my mattress, it has crumbs and dust all over it.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; wash the dishes, tidy up the bathroom, take out the recycling, replace the towels and wash them.
In the afternoon, me and Mirette will go visit our mutual friend Rige. Suavecita and perhaps Eleclya will be there as well.

On Sunday, I will do the weekly beautifying routine; shave my armpit hair and chin fluff and do the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
I will go visit my parents; my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny like every Sunday.
As for the allowance, I will buy shampoo because I am running out of it. I will probably buy it from Lush or Body Shop, because their shampoo bottles can be recycled.
After that, I will go visit an art museum.
  • Current Mood: okay okay
  • Current Music: Hole - Asking for it
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Fare thee well

I have decided to stop updating my Livejournal.
It's because the site has been sold to a Russian company; don't get me wrong, I don't hate Russian people, but they have strict laws about freedom of speech and I don't want any trouble.

Not to mention, Livejournal is pretty deserted these days. None of my friends use this anymore, and I rarely receive any interaction.

I'm not going to delete my blog due to all the fond memories I have here.

Anyway, my current lifeline is my Tumblr under the username "kittyramone".

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Any way the wind blows

I have felt a bit sad lately. I have realized that no matter what I do, I will never be able to be cured from my depression and anxiety and delusions.
Of course, I could start eating more healthily and exercising more often and visiting art museums, but I can't. I am more interested in sitting in my apartment, drinking coffee and surfing on the Internet. I just need a good kick in the rear.

Sometimes I believe I am wasting my life. I am already 30 years old without college degree, a job, or a soulmate.

Anyway, last night I slept on a mattress on the floor because Mirette and Elysion were having a sleepover at my home. I woke up to the feeling of being cold because it was chilly and rainy outside, the balcony door was open, and the cooling fan was on. I was practically shivering with cold.

I got up, took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day. I drank some cocoa.

Later that day I took the second biotin of the day.

Elysion's boyfriend came for a visit, she brought some stuff from Lapland where he had been on a vacation.

Mainly I just stayed inside sleeping all day, feeling ill and tired, but in the evening when Elysion went back home with her boyfriend and Mirette went to a concert, I decided to go see my mother. I called her and asked her if I can come over, she said it's okay.

I caught a bus to my parents' home, and ran into my friend Laufey. We had a nice talk on the same bus.

Once at my parents' home, I ate a few slices of buttered rye bread, a handful of cherry tomatoes and dark grapes, a couple of slices of a cinnamon bun loaf, and drank coffee and orange juice.

Later that day, I caught a bus back to my home town, and went to the supermarket to buy soy milk. I feel like I am getting better.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day, washed a load of laundry, tidied up my home, and watched The Good Place on Netflix.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will pay my gym membership, a debt to a friend, and purchase a membership card to the aquarium downtown because it is in discount, half the price during the rest of the month. I will also order a face muscle trainer from Amazon.co.uk. As for the rest of the money, I will buy groceries.

On Saturday, me and my friends will go to the Pride March. Two of my friends, Eleclya and Suavecita, will be at the annual metal music festival, but me and Mirette will go there.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and chin fluffs. I will go visit my parents, my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will also call my granny. As for the rest of the day, I might visit a museum. 
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My dreams are making fun of me

Last night I had a dream where I missed the appointment at the psychiatric center. Sometimes when I have plans for the next day, I have the kind of dreams where I miss every appointment or otherwise ruin everything.

I got up about at eleven o'clock and took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day. I put some cream on my face and got dressed. I should buy more leggings so I won't give anyone an accidental panty- shot.

I washed two loads of laundry, Elysion helped me hang it in the drying room.

Later the day Mirette left, she was going to Perry's summer cottage.

Me and Elysion left at the same time. She went to see her mother, I went to the psychiatric center where I had an appointment with my nurse.

We talked about all kinds of stuff, and she also told me that I can start taking only one Ketipinor pill every evening.
After the appointment, we agreed to have the next at the beginning of August.

I went to the pharmacy to pick a batch of Ketipinor, and a tube of Hydrocortison lotion, and also ordered another batch of Solian.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places. I took the second biotin supplement, brushed my hair, put Miniderm and Hydrocortison on my skin.

I called Eleclya and asked her if I can come for a visit, she said it's alright.

I took a train to her hometown. Once at her home, we had coffee and petted Toast.
Eleclya told me that I smell like breast milk. I know what she's talking about, she has given birth to two kids.

Later that day I left and went to downtown to loiter around, feeling rather miserable.

I took a bus back to my home. I noticed that I had received the order from Wish.com.

I took my evening medicine and the last biotin supplement, put lotion on my skin and brushed my teeth. I put on a nightie and brushed my hair properly.

Tomorrow I will go see my parents so that my mother can give me the weekly allowance.
I will meet Elysion, we will go to Twinkle cafe together.
After that, I will go shopping.

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My Midsummer was pretty nice

Last night I slept on Eleclya's old sofa on my balcony; Mirette slept on my bed, and Elysion slept on the sofa.

I had all kinds of dreams. I woke up when the sun started shining into my face.

I have a weird pain in the tube between my nostrils and throat, I don't know what it is but I will have it checked out. I have also been coughing and sneezing a lot these days.

I got up, took my morning medicine and the first biotin, and brushed my teeth. I had slept in my summer dress.

I managed to wash a huge load of dirty dishes. I replaced my sweaty dirty dress with a fresh one, and also replaced my socks with dry ones. One of the best feelings in the world is putting on clean and dry socks.

Later that day, Mirette and Elysion went to the beach and I stayed inside.

I decided to go to the gym. I packed all the stuff I needed, and once at the gym, I learned that I had forgotten the lock and key I need to shut the locker door; without them, someone might steal my stuff.
I went back home, and had an anxiety attack after learning what the book & movie The Stepford Wives is actually about.

I decided to go for a walk around the area where my brother lives. I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I was welcome.

My mother answered the door. My father and my brother were also home.
We had coffee and buns, mom gave me a ball of knitting yarn, and then I left.

I caught a bus back home, Mirette and Elysion weren't there yet. I took my evening medicine and changed into a nightie. I didn't see any reason in brushing my teeth or putting lotion on my skin.

Tomorrow I will start doing the weekly housework; take out the recycling, scrub the bathroom, and replace the towels.
Perry will drive me, Mirette, Elysion, and Berry to Clock River, we will have a picnic.

On Sunday, we will go visit Elysion's mother and then we will go visit Eleclya. At some point I will go visit my parents to collect my dad's weekly allowance. I also have to remember to call my granny.
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My plans for Monday, June 17th - Sunday, June 23rd

Monday, June 17th:
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at quarter to one o’clock in the afternoon (12:45 pm). I will wash all the dishes, including Mirette’s.
After the appointment, I will take an article of clothing to the dressmaker to be mended, and then I will go to the gym. I will do stretches and then use the cross- trainer.
At some point, I will visit the library.

Tuesday, June 18th:
I will go visit my mother so she can give me the weekly allowance. I will go to the same thrift store that I visited on Sunday and buy two books and a set of bed linen. As for the rest of the money, I will deposit it to my bank account so I can pay a fiver for a movie ticket; there will be a discount in movie tickets tomorrow.
In the evening, I will take part in plogging; we will pick up trash as we jog around a lake in the neighborhood next to my home town.

Wednesday, June 19th:
I will go to movies to see Blinky Bill.
After the movie, I will go to the swimming pool to swim a few laps, and then I will go to the sauna.

Thursday, June 20th:
I will go visit my mother, she will give me the monthly allowance. I will recharge my travel card and mail Zoya’s package.
As for the rest of the money, I will buy another set of bed linen, and some cute clothes from another thrift store.
My friend Elysion will come for a week- long sleepover at my home.

Friday, June 21st:
I will receive the weekly allowance. I will buy a week’s worth of groceries.
I will go to downtown and have my nose pierced.

Saturday, June 22nd:
Me, Mirette, and Elysion will go for a picnic.

Sunday, June 23rd:
I will go visit my parents. I will walk there and back.
My dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.
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What a nice day!

Yesterday I just stayed in bed all day, I saw no reason in getting up. I took my morning medicine, changed from nighties into a bathrobe, and went back to sleep.
Later that day Mirette and Perry came over, we had coffee together. I got dressed and took the second biotin of the day.

In the evening I went to the shopping mall to buy a big bar of chocolate, I also took some discarded trolleys to the station.

This morning I woke up early to a weird psychosomatic pain in my neck and shoulders. I took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day and went back to bed.

Later in the morning, about at ten o’clock, I got up. I took a shower and washed my hair, shaved my armpits and chin hairs, and put on an argan mud face mask.
I got dressed, and then I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said I can.

I decided to walk to my parents’ home. The weather was hot and fine, and I didn’t have as much delusions as I thought I would have.
Once at my parents’ home, mom and dad were both home. Dad gave me the weekly 20 euros.
I ate buttered rye bread, a handful of green grapes, and a tomato. I didn’t drink any coffee; come to think of it, I don’t think I even like coffee anymore.

I took a bus to downtown, then a subway to Grass Cove, and went to the photography museum. I was in a good mood, even if my internal demons were bothering me again.
I was thinking of walking along the beach and then going to my favorite café to enjoy a slice of key lime pie but decided to do that later.

I took a subway back to the city center, and then a tram to the posh neighborhood where I went to the thrift store and bought a pillowcase, a duvet cover, and a bed sheet. I also saw two second- hand books that I was interested in.

I took a tram back to downtown and took a bus back to my home town. Once there, I bought a big bar of chocolate; I have become addicted to them once again. Now that I think about it, I could have bought the books from the thrift store instead of spending the money on chocolate.

Once back home, I washed a load of laundry, sorted the old laundry, and called my granny.

I spent the rest of the evening playing FreeRice, watching The Good Place on Netflix, and re- arranging my stuff. At eight o’clock in the evening, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day.

Now I am suffering; I feel manic and panicky, like I am going insane.

Tomorrow my care worker will come for the weekly visit at quarter to one o’clock in the afternoon. I will wash all the dishes, including Mirette’s dishes.
In the afternoon, I will go to the gym.
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Thank goddess it's Friday

Last night I had a dream about geocaching, and my current fandom husbando Lobo. Nothing too special.

I woke up early, got up, took my morning medicine and first biotin supplement of the day. I got dressed, and didn’t bother with having a proper wash.

I received money today, so I went to the nearest ATM machine and withdrew cash.

I went to Arnold’s and bought a poppy seed- cheese bagel stuffed with cold- smoked salmon; I also bought a pink chocolate donut and a glass of lemonade. After finishing my brunch, I took a train to downtown.
On the train, a couple of dark- skinned women and a white man sat next to me. The man asked us if we knew that Jesus died for our sins, then he asked for our phone numbers.

I went to Pearl House, but I didn’t feel like staying there; the group I was supposed to attend was cancelled because of the low attendance.
I went to the Pearl café, there was some creepy old guy watching porn on the common computer. I talked about tattoos with this lovely woman, and the guy told me that I am not supposed to ruin my skin with tattoos because men would hate them, and God didn’t create me that way. I made a face and left.

I left and took a bus to downtown. Once there, I went to a department store and bought peeling cream for my face. I am also planning to buy stronger biotin, the one with 10,000 milligrams.

I met Mirette like we had agreed, and we went to the thrift store where I had had the clothes set aside. Once there, I paid for the clothes, and it used up most of my money. I still have a few tenners left for groceries, and I will receive more money on Sunday from my father.

I decided to head back home. Once there, I cut the price tags off the clothes and washed them along with other laundry. Some of the clothes need to be taken to the dressmaker, I will do it next week.

I did a little bit of this and that and then I went to the supermarket to buy some groceries. I was in a bad mood once again; I am not sure if it is the fact that I eat too little and my blood sugar gets low, or that I am simply mentally ill.

I went to my home yard to write into my diary, then I went back home. I have no energy to make a decent supper, so I guess I will just drink coffee all evening.

I took my evening medicine, re- arranged the dirty dishes, hung the laundry on the drying rack.

Tomorrow I will do the weekly housework; replace the towels, scrub the toilet bowl, take out the recycling. I will probably go visit a couple of museums.

On Sunday, if the weather is fine, I will walk to my parents’ home and back. My father will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny during the visit.
After the visit, I will travel to downtown and go to the thrift store to buy the curtains I had set aside.
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Thrift shop prowlin'

Last night I had a dream where me and my family were visiting the summer cottage / my mother’s childhood home, and my parents found my porn collection (I am asexual but I still enjoy porn, mainly yaoi fanart, actual mainstream live action porn is icky). They were really angry and disappointed with me so I burned the collection down, and I was comforted by the DC Comics character Lobo whom I have had many erotic dreams about.
In another dream, I lived in my former apartment in the colorful cubistic building, and we headed to The Ramones concert. I was wearing a pink t- shirt that said “Baby Doll” on front, and black daisy dukes. I was holding a bunch of cloth panty liners that were sewn to fit thongs and g- strings, and I also had a package of reusable cotton swabs.
In yet another dream, I was in a modern art museum downtown where I was supposed to vote for the most beautiful work of art. There were piles of rocks and piles of wooden planks, and I voted for a painting with pink and white flowers in a potty with a blue background. I was supposed to write my name in Icelandic, so I wrote “Miia Esasdottir”.
I went to the other side of the road; there was a demonstration against nuclear power. I went to a health shop on the side of the road and looked for some proper lotion for my itchy skin; there was this lotion that was made into the form of little yellow pearls that dissolved when you rub them against your skin (my mother has that lotion too, I think it’s a wrinkle cream from Nivea). Anyway, I saw a bottle of vitamin supplements that were especially meant for college students who lived on nothing but pizza and had suicidal thoughts. I was so overcome with worry and empathy that I started crying, and one of the demonstrators comforted me.

I woke up to a tremendous coughing fit. I should go see a doctor next week, I have been coughing and sneezing a lot for the past weeks.

I got up, took my morning medicine, brushed my teeth, had a wash, dabbed lotion on my skin, got dressed, and had breakfast, without losing my spoons. It actually helped me load my spoons.

I had oatmeal porridge for breakfast. Mirette had gone to a meeting with her social counselor.

I headed to Stick Town, once there I learned that Fountain House was closed because they had gone for a journey. I didn’t mind, I took a bus to downtown and went to Pearl House for a cup of coffee.

I traveled back home. I washed my hair, dabbed lotion on my skin, changed my panty liner, and took the second biotin of the day.

I watched the Monty Python musical on DVD. I learned a funny joke; British beer is like having sex in a canoe, it’s fucking close to water!

Later that day, me and Mirette took a train to downtown and went to the nearest thrift store. They had all kinds of gorgeous clothes for sale; I picked a pair of red dungarees with a heart- shaped pocket on the front, a floor- length skirt from the 1960’s, an actual Dirndl dress that fits me, and a brown dress with white polka dots, and a simple denim dress that I am going to customize.
They had other kind of gorgeous clothes but I was allowed to set aside only five articles of clothing at maximum; now that I think about it, I don’t think that all the nighties and the white lace gloves and the wedding dress are going to be sold out tomorrow, so I can be rest assured.

We walked over to the posh neighborhood, there was another vintage thrift store from the same chain. I didn’t find any clothes from there, but I picked up new curtains and I also saw four duvet covers that had amazing retro / vintage designs and they were also so worn that they felt so soft and smooth! I will buy them tomorrow.

It was getting late and we were both a bit hungry, so we took a tram and then a subway to another mall and went to a restaurant. I got a fish fillet, parmesan fries, and pea hummus, it was scrumptious. We didn’t make it to the third thrift store because it was going to be closed for the day.

Elysion called me and asked if she can come for a visit during the midsummer weekend, I asked Mirette if it was okay and she said yes. As for our plans for midsummer, I am going to get a nose ring on Friday, and on Saturday me and Mirette will go to a picnic in the town where I was treated in the psychiatric ward. The nature around there is very beautiful.

We traveled to downtown and went to the movie theater to see the film Shazam!, it was amazing. I love Marvel / DC superhero movies.

After the movie, a friend of ours gave us a lift back to my home. Once there, I took my evening medicine and went to bed.

Tomorrow I will go to Pearl House, there will be two groups where I want to take part. After that, I will go shopping with Mirette, we will go to all the thrift shops and I will buy all the clothes I have set aside. As for the rest of the money, I will buy a meager amount of groceries.

On Saturday, I will do housework and perhaps visit a few museums.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents. I will walk there and back if the weather is fine. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will call my granny.
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I am becoming less and less interested in keeping a blog and writing into my real- life paper diary. Yet at the same time, I don't feel like giving up.

On Sunday I felt pretty sad; even if my period is over, my delusions are still so bad that it feels like I have PMS every day. The heat wave is driving me crazy, I have to wear revealing clothes every day from preventing my body from boiling itself alive. Each time I expose myself to sunburn and sexual harassment.
In the evening I cried my eyes out, I cried actual tears. Funny thing, I used to cry a lot when I was a child, and I also peed my pants up until I was 12 years old.
I find it rather weird how most people believe that I am a tap- dancing ray of sunshine, when I am actually a bitch queen from hell in my internal life. But then again, I WANT to be happy. And by happy I mean I wish I weren't so depressed and anxious all the time.

On a positive note, I suddenly noticed that I have started loving my body. I know I have a bad posture, flabby arms and a pudgy stomach, but I am no longer "zomg I look ugly" or even "zomg I look gorgeous", I am just "who cares?" I practice body neutrality more than body positivity.

On Monday, my care worker came for the weekly appointment. I had already got up from my bed and taken my morning medicine and put on clothes, but I was taking a depression nap. The meeting was like John Lennon's and Yoko Ono's interview; I just lied under the covers, and talked to her. She was okay with that.

Today was slightly better.
I got up and went to see my mother, she gave me the weekly allowance. I went back home, washed my hair and put on a hair mask, used the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment, put Miniderm on my skin, and got dressed.
I went to Twinkle café today, Mella was there as well. She looked lovely in a yellow- white summer dress. Raija was there as well, she had come home from the hospital. I gave her a birthday and a name- day card because she has them both this month.
I drank cocoa and juice and ate plenty of treats like raspberry cake with whipped cream, meringues, Karelian pies, chocolate kisses... Considering that there were only women present, I did some stretches.

Later that day I hugged everyone and left. I took a tram to downtown and then a train back home.

Mirette was home as well. I did a little bit of this and that, then I went out for errands; I took out a huge pile of trash bags, and then I went to the library. I used the library computer to click all the donation buttons on GreaterGood, and borrowed three books to read during the summer.

I went to the gym, but I didn't bother doing stretches considering that I had already done them during the day- time. Instead, I tried using the crosstrainer, but the physical exertion only made me angry and frustrated. I quit soon and went back home, on my way there I fetched the laundry from the drying room.

Once home, I put all the laundry in a huge pile on a chair, I will sort them out tomorrow. I took off my gym gear and put it in the laundry basket, and took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day. I wonder if the biotin is working, I have been consuming three of them during the day- time and the only way they have affected is that my eyelashes have grown longer.
I might get some stronger ones from the pharmacy.

Tomorrow will be Helsinki day, I will go to this special museum where they have rooms constructed after working class homes from the past, and the introduction will be made in the dialect / slang that is generally used in Helsinki.
After that, I will go to a group held by the same mental health company as Twinkle cafe; we will meet at a certain subway station in Helsinki, and go for a walk in the forest.
In the evening, I will go to a unicorn- themed café with Mirette.

On Thursday, I will go to all my favourite thrift stores, pick my favorite clothes and ask the shop assistant to set them aside until tomorrow.
In the evening, me and Mirette will go to movies to see Shazam!

On Friday, I will receive money. I will go visit the shops and purchase all the clothes I set aside. As for the rest of the money, I will buy a week's worth of groceries.
In the evening, me and Mirette will go to the sauna.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housecleaning.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents. My dad will give me the weekly allowance, I will also call my granny. 
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Hope your weekend is amazing!

I don't remember what kind of dreams I had last night.
I woke up early, and got up about at nine o'clock in the morning.
I took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day, and changed from my nightie into a bathrobe.

Later in the morning, Mirette's care worker came to see her. She seemed like a nice person.

After she left, I put Miniderm on my skin and washed my face and got dressed.

I received money today. I paid my Netflix and Microsoft Word subscription.

I went out for errands; the first thing to do was to withdraw cash, and then I went to the dressmaker to pay for the mended clothes. I was supposed to bring another three clothes to be mended, but I forgot.

I went to a supermarket to buy a box of pantyliners.
I went back home, and later the day me and Mirette left and caught a train and then a bus to a shopping mall.
Later we met Suavecita, we had agreed to meet today because it was her name- day. We went to Starbucks where I bought her a frappuccino.

We went to an amazing shop named New Yorker, they had all kinds of amazing clothes! And most of them were in discount.

Suavecita gave us both a lift to Mallard's home, where she picked up two lawnchairs and an air conditioner.
I took the second biotin of the day.

Suavecita drove us to Eleclya's home.
Eleclya told me that Mallard doesn't like it when I send her text messages. I didn't understand what she meant by that, I send her messages very rarely.

We laughed and joked and petted Toast.

Later that day we all left, me and Mirette caught a train back to my home.

We decided to go to movies tomorrow, we didn't have enough time today.

In the evening, I washed a load of laundry. I watched The Illustrated Mumand ate chocolate and some potato & goat cheese steaks.

I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day.

I felt a bit anxious, but it went over soon.

About at midnight, I brushed my teeth and dabbed lotion on my skin. I felt a lot better.

Today me and Mirette are going to a samba carnival.
After that, we are going to see the movie Pokèmon Detective Pikachu.
At some point, I will take out the recycling, replace the towels, and scrub the bathroom.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents. If the weather is alright, I will walk there and back.
My dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will call my granny.
Once back home, I will pay Mirette back the price of the movie ticket.

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I woke up early to the feeling of terror. I fell back asleep and woke up again after having a bunch of weird- ass dreams.
I got up, took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day, and got dressed.

Mirette had gone to see one of her counselors, and then she went swimming at a beach downtown.

Later that day I left and took a bus to Flux Island. I visited a couple of flea markets, looking for bed clothes and teddy bears.
I took a subway to Pasture Cape, and went to Girls' House; the others had baked plenty of cakes, and we got to eat them all. I ate two slices of mudcake with cream cheese, blueberries, and blackberries. I painted my nails with white and powder blue fibers.

In the evening I left and took a bus back home.

Once there, Mirette was also home.
I re- arranged our belongings, cleaned out the kitchen a little, and took my evening medicine.

I noticed that the facial muscle trainer and toner that I wanted to buy has been sold out, and the ones on British Amazon won't ship to my home country, but the ones on American Amazon will. It's a tad bit more expensive, but I will buy it later.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will withdraw it all, and then I will go to the dressmaker to pay him for the mended clothes and bring three other articles of clothing to be mended. After that, I will go visit the thrift store and the masseur so I can get an app for regular customers.
After that, I will pay Mirette a tenner for buying me food. Then we will go to a shopping mall near Mallard's home where we will meet Suavecita, she will have her name- day tomorrow so I will give her a card and buy her a coffee.
After that, we will go hang out at Eleclya's home. In the evening, me and Mirette will go to movies to see Pokémon Detective Pikachu.

On Saturday me and Mirette will go to a samba festival in downtown.
Once back home, I will take out the recycling, scrub the toilet bowl, and replace towels.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and my chin hairs, and put on a face mask.
In the afternoon, I will ride my bicycle to my parents' home and back.
My dad will give me the weekly allowance.
I will call my granny.
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Double yay

Last night I had a dream where I was Mary Poppins and traveled to 1970’s Britain to help a working- class family with washing the dishes and getting rid of cockroaches.
Sometimes I believe that Mary Poppins might be a Time Lord because she is British, has an extraordinary way of traveling, she has a bag that is bigger on the inside, she knows how to speak horse, and she has a flamboyant style and a weird- ass brolly like the 7th Doctor!
I also learned that Mary Poppins got her surname because when she arrives to the Banks household, she “pops in”.

In another dream, I rode my bicycle through the neighborhoods that are familiar to me in real life. I had the same dream I have had before; on the same road, there was a food bank formed by anti- abortion activists.

In yet another dream, I was in post- apocalyptic Finland in the middle of a forest with a huge shopping complex and went to look for new zodiac jewelry. In the dream, I was forced to take part in a Hunger Style contest where a courtyard was filled with water and sand, and me and the other contestants were supposed to fight our way out of it.

I woke up early and continued sleeping. I got up before noon, took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day, and then I got dressed and drank coffee.

My jaw feels stiff after I have been grinding my teeth, I cannot help it; it’s a symptom of my anxiety, and it also somehow gives me comfort. I hope that the face muscle exerciser helps them, once I have received it.

I spent the afternoon cleaning up; I took the laundry off the drying rack and folded it and put it to the cupboard and picked up trash and put it to recycling. I also took the second biotin of the day.

In the afternoon my care worker came for the weekly appointment. I managed to wash the dishes, but I forgot to wash the eating utensils.
We made a new appointment on next Monday at fifteen minutes past one o’clock in the afternoon.

Later that day I left at the same time with Mirette. She was heading to her father’s home, and I was going to the recycling center. Once at the bus stop, I remembered that I had forgotten the bag of broken electronic goods at home, so I went there to pick it up.
I caught a bus to another town near my parents’ home, and then another bus to the recycling center. I went there to recycle all the broken electronics in my home such as Eleclya’s old air conditioner, two pairs of broken headphones, a broken smartphone charger, and a broken coffee maker.
After that, I took another two buses to my parents’ hometown and went to the swimming pool. I could only swim one lap and by then I was so disturbed by my delusions that I decided to quit. I went to the sauna, washed my hair, and then I left.

I took a bus to my hometown and went to the shopping mall to buy a big bar of chocolate. Then I went back home and played Free Rice until it was time to leave. I was going to a free concert with Mirette; I took her camera along because she wanted to take photos.

I took a train to downtown; I missed the first train, so I waited for the next one. I paid a compliment to a pretty lady who wore funky colorful clothes.
Once aboard the train, I paid a compliment to two young women who looked pretty in pink.

I got off at downtown and went to the library where the concert is held.
I met Mirette and volunteered to watch over her belongings while she took photos. I also gave her a piece of paper I had found where someone had scribbled a funny picture on it.
After the concert, we were harassed by a man, so we quickly walked away.

I mailed a post card, and then we went to a 24/7 market where we bought groceries.

We traveled back to my hometown on a train and pilfered a flyer advertising the concert we went to last Sunday.

Today was such a nice day, I got good vibes except I was still a bit shaky after being harassed.

I have decided that from now on, when I first turn on my laptop when I get up from the bed, I will start playing Free Rice and play until I have donated 1000 grains of rice.

Tomorrow I will go to the gym to work out, and then I will go to a couple of museums.

On Friday I will receive money. The first thing to do is to order a face muscle exerciser from an online shop; if it isn’t in discount anymore, I will order a tube squeezer, clothes brush, and a wall picture from Etsy.com.
In the afternoon, I will go to the dressmaker and pay them for the mended clothes. I will also bring them two dresses to be mended; one sweet casual Lolita dress that needs to be widened around the bodice, and a pink Dirndl dress that has a tear between the hem and the bodice.
After that, I will go visit Salvation Army to get the membership card app, and then I will go to the masseuse so I can get a membership app there as well.
Me and Mirette will go visit Suavecita in a café in the shopping mall near Mallard’s home. I will buy her whatever coffee she wants, considering that she has her name- day on that day. After that, we will go visit Eleclya.
In the evening, I will go to movies to see with Mirette; we will go see Pokemon Detective Pikachu.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; replace the towels, take out the recycling, and scrub the bathroom. I might also go visit an art museum or two.

On Sunday, I will shave my armpits and chin hairs, and put on a face mask.
I will go visit my parents. If the weather is alright, I will ride my bicycle there and back. I will call my granny, and my dad will give me the weekly allowance.
  • Current Mood: hyper hyper
  • Current Music: Queen - Somebody to love
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Yay

Last night I had plenty of dreams that didn’t remind me of any dreams I have seen before, the most re- occurrent dreams.
Except in one of them, I was studying in Hogwarts and refused to wear the school uniform. I got a seriously pissed off Snape after me.

I woke up early, there was a heavy rain and thunderstorm outside, but it cleared up soon.

I got up before my alarm clock rang; it was supposed to ring at noon. I took my morning medicine and the first biotin of the day. but I didn’t eat anything because I was supposed to fast for twelve hours so my blood sugar would be decent for my blood sample. I washed my face and put lotion on my itchy skin and got dressed into the same clothes I wore a week ago.

I went to the lab to have my blood drawn. My queue number was 219, and they were serving number 181.
After about two hours of waiting, it was finally my turn. I got my blood drawn.
I was also told to go to the EKG, but by then a power shortage occurred due to the storm, and the lights were turned off. Before anarchy would ensue, I went to the parish.

The parish worker was really nice to me, as he usually is. We talked about Christianity and other things, and then he gave me two gift cards because he couldn’t print the food coupon for me; there was a power shortage as well. I also got a box of raspberries and a half of a honeydew melon.

I took a train to downtown and went to the Twinkle café. Mella was there, she gave me a sweet hug.

Later all the others left, and me and Mella were left together. I drank plenty of cocoa and ate plenty of treats, did some stretches, and talked with Mella about stuff.

In the afternoon, I took a tram to the city center and then a train back to my hometown.
Once there, I went back home to have a little wind- down time. I took the plastic waste to recycling, and then I went grocery shopping.
With the other gift card, I bought ten postage stamps and some personal and domestic hygiene products from the supermarket.
With the other gift card, I bought groceries from a grocery shop.
Once back home, I fetched the laundry from the downstairs drying room. Once back home, I divided the laundry into mine and Mirette’s, and folded mine and put it into the cupboard.

In the evening I was feeling bored, so I went for a short bike ride. Once back at my neighborhood, I went to the supermarket and bought a pair of gardening gloves; I am going to use them for picking up garbage when I go out.
I also took a couple of discarded trolleys back to the supermarket.

I did other good deeds today; when I was in the corridor, I held the lift door open for an elderly lady using a walker.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and rubbed cortisone lotion on my itchy shins and put on a clean nightie.

Tomorrow my care worker will come for the weekly appointment. I will wash the dishes.
After that, I will ride my bicycle to the swimming pool in my parents’ hometown and swim a few laps.
After the swim, I will go to the sauna and I also have to wash my hair properly.

On Thursday, I will go to a couple of museums. If the youth group is still open, I will go there.

On Friday, I will receive money. I will order a face muscle trainer from an online shop; if it isn’t in discount anymore, I will instead order some important stuff from Etsy.com, such as a tube squeezer and a clothes brush.
It will also be Suavecita’s name- day, we will go to the café where Eleclya works and buy her whatever treat she wants.
I will also go to the dressmaker and pay them for the mended clothes and bring them another two articles of clothing to be mended.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna.

On Saturday, I will do housework, and go to a museum.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents. If it doesn’t rain, I will ride my bicycle there and back.
My dad will give me the weekly allowance, and I will also call my granny.
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On Saturday, I went to see my parents; my mom gave me 60 euros in advance; it was her weekly allowance, dad’s weekly allowance, and a little extra. I bought soy milk, toilet paper, paper tissues, and the rest of the money was spent on nail care products. Now I have remorse for wasting my money, but at least I bought something useful like soy milk and paper products.

Sometimes I actually believe that I might have a compulsive spending habit.

On Sunday, I went to a free music festival with Mirette, Odessa, Eleclya, Jazz, and Perry. We all had a good time; we sang “Hey Jude” and “Yuri Gagarin” together.

Last night I had a dream where I was hanging out on a bright winter morning at downtown. It was a nice dream.
I found myself thinking that I should probably get up and get going to the Fountain House, but I didn’t get up until half past noon; I was having such nice dreams. I took my morning medicine, freshened up and got dressed.

I took a train to Eleclya’s hometown and went to Fountain House. Odessa was there, she goes there as well.
The counselors didn’t seem to mind that I had arrived late.
I joined Fountain House as a member and got a member card, and had a piece of salmon pie and two mugs of cocoa at the café. I also took the second biotin supplement of the day.

Later that day, I took a bus and a subway to the city center. I called the parish worker on the way there and asked him if I can visit him tomorrow to ask for a food coupon, he said yes. We agreed to meet tomorrow at half past one o’clock in the morning.
The museum I was supposed to go was closed, so I went to a few clothing shops but that’s when my delusions kicked in and I almost got an anxiety attack. I quickly headed out and went to the train station.

On the station square, there was an old man preaching about God and Jesus, and some drunkies arguing with him. On the train, there was an old man who kept on shouting how much he hates idiots.

Once back home, Mirette was there as well. She has to crash at my apartment for a while now that she was evicted from her home.

I washed a few loads of laundry, both mine and Mirette’s, and later that day we went to the supermarket because Mirette had to buy groceries. I went there to accompany her.

Once back home, I took three loads of laundry downstairs to the drying room. The carrier bag was very heavy, as wet clothes usually are.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and the last biotin of the day. I put lotion on my skin; my ankles and shins have been especially itchy. I put on a clean nightie and went to bed with my laptop.

Tomorrow I will go to the lab to have my blood drawn, and then I will visit a parish to ask for a food coupon.
I will go to Twinkle café right away, and after that I will go to the grocery shop where the coupon is assigned and buy some food and hygiene products.

On Wednesday, my care worker will come for the weekly appointment. I will wash the dishes.
I might go visit a museum or two.

On Thursday, I will go visit two museums that I usually have planned to visit on Thursdays; the museum of natural science and a children’s museum. If the youth group at the local church is still open, I will go visit it.

On Friday, I will receive money. The first thing is to order a face muscle toner & trainer from an online shop; if it isn’t in discount anymore by then, I won’t order it. Instead, I will order some useful stuff from Etsy; a tube squeezer, a clothes brush, and a cute picture to tape on my wall.
It will be also my best friend Suavecita’s name- day, so I will take her to the café where Eleclya works and buy her whatever coffee she wants.
As for the rest of the money, I will buy food and hygiene products and go to the dressmaker to pay them for the job and bring them another two dresses to be mended.
In the evening, I will go to the sauna.

On Saturday, I will do the weekly housework; scrub the toilet bowl and take out the recycling. I might also visit a museum and go bicycling in the neighborhood.

On Sunday, I will go visit my parents. If it doesn’t rain, I will ride my bicycle there and back.
My parents will be home from their trip to Greece, and my dad will give me the weekly allowance. I will also call my granny.
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Last night I went to bed after taking a depression shower.

I had a dream where I became a Buddhist nun, celebrated New Year with Mirette, and pretended to be Mary Poppins in the same town where my first therapist’s office was.

I woke up about at seven, fell back asleep and woke up again at ten o’clock, and then I fell back asleep and woke up at noon. I felt surprised that I had managed to sleep so late, but then again, I usually get up at that time.

I took my morning medicine, got dressed, put Miniderm lotion on my face, and this time I didn’t drink coffee because I was out of sugar. I didn’t mind, I am not as badly addicted as I used to be.

I called my mother and asked if I can come see her, she said yes. I left and took a bus to my parents’ home.
Once there, mom answered the door. She gave me the weekly allowance and made coffee. I ate goat cheese, buttered rye bread, and green grapes.

I walked to the shopping mall and went to the newsagent to recharge my travel card and buy a bar of chocolate.

I took a train to downtown and went to Twinkle café.
There were only me and another counselor whom I didn’t remember, some people also visited and left earlier.

I felt pretty sick after drinking plenty of cocoa. I had to take three long dumps.

Later that day I left and took a tram to another part of the town, and then a subway to east. I went to a theater to see a theater play about school bullying.
I was about an hour too early, so I went to a nearby bar to enjoy a bag of crisps before I went to the theater.

The play was held in a small room in an abandoned factory that had been converted into some sort of a culture center.
We were asked about our experiences with school bullying, and the actors improvised short skits based on it.

After the play, I took a subway to the town center.
I took a bus back home, once there I took the stuff out of my storage room and brought them upstairs to my apartment, it only took me two trips but it also triggered my delusions.

I took my evening medicine, made some supper, and felt strange. I felt like, metaphorically speaking, I was a stone statue with a live electric wire sparkling inside it.